We awake in the morning, early, and then I realize that only I have awoken (no one else is there) and that Avery is at the door. Her face is soft, which stirs up a whole slew of questions in my mind. Perhaps she... doesn't know about yesterday? I won't press it.
I tuck my tail as I exit. Almost no one is in the room anyways. My early does not correspond with the early of the other Defenders, else, a lot of them have gone off somewhere. We would not have been told, as 'newbies'. I, too, have the term stuck to the roof of my mouth like a bitter leaf, something I can't spit out, but it's not the indignity of being fenced in a box that does it. It's the way it stands like an opaque wall between me and the other Defenders.

"Rena," Avery says. "Are you coming?"

I step between the still forms of Nina, a sleepy Glaze curled up against Mistral, and Blossom, before springing out the door. "Yes. Sorry." Avery's eyes are on me, round and kind and filled with inexpressible emotion. "Sorry." I repeat. She knows.

"I'm not upset at you," she says. "I'm only scared."

"Scared?" I ask. "Do you think Gale and I are dangerous?"

"You could be, but I'm more afraid we'll lose you if we push you the wrong way." She leads me down the thin hallways into the middle floor. "I don't have any reason to trust that you won't leave and never return."

"I'd die if I left," I admit."I don't have any reason to believe I'll wake up when I'm gone and remember anything."

I catch the slightest tilt of Avery's head, eyes wide with concern. "Do you really think so?"

I nod. "It's not something you have to worry about, um..." My head spins. "Maybe you should forget I ever said anything."

"You should know it doesn't work that way." Avery says, lifting her head back to the halls. We pass by a set of pawprints, most of them just larger than those of the current Defenders. Names are engraved around them, in blurry text I can't read, and some have messages. My heart yearns with the sudden gripping need to know, but they are past us just as quickly. "No matter. We're here."

Gale is standing in the middle of the primarily barren room, though bags and a few dormant... things.. lie in the corner, their not-quite-flesh bodies covered in unsettling, patchy texture. One of them lies under his paws, deflated. He looks back to Avery and I, eyes shining like moonlight.

I poke the body, and it bolts back up, rippling into form. Where its eyes should be are dark indentations, which make its smooth face all the more unnerving. It possesses broad features, set widely and arranged into a blank expression, while its ears are too small to be held or bitten. It moves as if filled with breath, but it never opens its mouth and it possesses no nostrils. It reminds me vaguely of a frog, mixed with the furred river animals I can barely recall.

"What's this?" I ask, and it slugs me in the side of the head, just below the horns. I fall back with a startled cry, my whole body bristling with light and anger. Gale goes for the neck and it falls again, as if deflated, but its limbs thrash all the while. I jump back at it and slam my paws against it, which causes indentations right where my paws were, and the beast closes its eyes, as if to say, Look. That definitely hurt.

Avery steps in and carries it back to the corner, where it stops. I watch it with my tail aloft and vigilant, but it seems to have taken a sufficient beating. "No need to attack it again-- it should be deactivated now." When I tilt my head so far to the side that my new injury erupts with pain, she explains, "They're golems. There's a species that are gifted at sculpting them, but these have been degrading ever since said member... left our forces."

Gale's ears fall, weighted by implication. "Avery, if it's going to be an issue, we can find some other way to practice." I don't recognize the new timbre of his voice.

"It's no problem. The golems have held up against much worse, and we have no other use for them." Avery says.

Gale nods to me, and then, when I wave my tail back, he tells Avery, "Then bring it on."

Several of the golems reinflate at an astounding rate, and I creep back behind Gale. "I've got you," he says.

"Rena, you're going to need some practice too--" Avery begins, but Gale is at my side and there's no 'too', there's only us. All the golems encroach, some of whom have grown more limber appendages and others of whom are stumbling as if through water, but I aim a single, focused beam of light straight up.

The light overhead splinters. A shadow passes overhead, protecting us from the residue, and just as quickly an unnatural silence rises and falls in the room.

"We're done," Gale says.

"Well," Avery opens the door to reveal all the golems deflated once more, suffering from shadowy bites across their necks. "You're certainly not conventional fighters, but no one's ever done it that fast."

"Gale works better in the dark," I offer.

"Yes, umbrakinesis. However, I was more concerned that it appeared the two of you had concocted some kind of strategy without audible confirmation from either of you." Avery says, lowering her head. "Can you two hear each other without talking?"

"We do this thing with our faces sometimes," I say, and Gale shakes his head, which is definitely a Rena, stop divulging our secrets to Avery face.

"I didn't catch that either."

"Aren't you supposed to just know?" I plead.

Avery shakes her head.

Gale lashes his tail. "It's not an issue, is it? We defeated the opponents, Rena got some practice in... is there anything more challenging we could take on?"

Avery blinks. "Well. Shall we talk in the hall?" We escort her on either side out into the hallway, but to my surprise, she turns right back into a room, nearly identical to the first, if lacking in golems (not that I mind the change). This room is also home to a host of pawprints on the back wall, similar to those in the hallway. Even more pressing is the pervasive scent of dust and decay in the room--like the room had been heated to an incredible temperature, so that the walls burned, and then left for years to its own devices. Avery nods, as if assuring herself of something, and says, "This is an auxiliary battle room. Would you like to take me on, personally?"

I shy back, but Gale steps forwards. "Come on, Rena. We should see what she has."

"She's older than us," I say. "She could have anything. We don't even know what we're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing." Gale raises his head. "Follow my lead."

Avery's expression is warm. "Alright. Whenever you two are ready."

Gale lowers himself into a battle position, teeth bared and hackles raised. Avery does not stir from her spot. "Well?" Gale asks.
"As I said. When you're ready."

"If we're in the woods, our opponents aren't going to wait patiently for us to jump them."

Avery makes a shrugging motion, nonchalantly, and the light glints off of her body. I peer closer just as Gale nods, making several dipping motions with his head as he races to process it, and at last, he growls, "Okay, Rena. Are you ready?"

"No," I say under my breath.

Gale pauses, mid-motion, and looks back to me with stern disapproval. With something akin to a smile and a shake of his head, he lowers himself into a crouch that is distinctively not canine and throws himself back into battle mode.

He passes right through Avery and hits the wall. Avery is on the other side of the field, crackling with electricity, tail waving. "I suppose I wasn't waiting for you to jump me, then." she says. Gale swings forth a shadowy claw and she moves again, this time flickering in and out right besides herself. Several more futile attempts follow, leaving Gale heaving, and I'm still watching, silent, wide-eyed, listening to a distant whirring noise.

"We can't burn down the building." I say.

"Are you talking about arson right in front of her?" Gale asks. "No. Wait. Lightning is... associated with leadership. There are veins in the building. That's how it works." he explains, his ears still moving with agitation.

I nod.

"So if we can't stop the building from powering her up... probably allowing her to keep dodging..." Gale looks to me. "This would be so much easier if you were a normal Canis, with normal powers, so we could tele--" Avery must've bored of our strategy meeting, because one second Gale is there at my side and the next he's thrashing on the ground, recovering from a quick pulse of energy. Electricity crackles through him and shakes my own bones, though I'm still a fair bit from his side, unmoving. My legs are locked.

What do you do, Rena?

The room is familiar. The air is familiar. Everything is so close to being, but I am stuck in between the past and the future. My limbs barely belong to me. Each second is another layer of sediment drenching my paws, and my throat stings with this rising wail of fear, of desperation... at last, everything breaks free into a cry, and my body sparks with light. It hits the walls, narrowly missing several successive versions of Avery.

Gale ducks. "Rena! What are you doing?" Gale asks.

"I don't know," I say. "What do you need me to do?"

"Something useful," Gale says, and I look at his eyes, twin moons curved into a waning phrase by the upwards, imploring tilt. Bracing myself, I step forwards, and Avery launches forwards, throwing me by the scruff. I hadn't expected a physical attack, really I hadn't expected much of anything, but when I almost hit the wall I find myself rising to my paws. Gale is on me again, providing cover, and I spread a wing. The pain there is worse than in the rest of my body. Not far away, Avery blinks and flickers, tussling with Gale, who can't seem to throw her off--his attacks miss or dissolve under the full barrage of lightning.

My heart hardens and light seethes under my mouth, for once in control of my mind... just as my own mind blurs out on me. A sinister presence holds me under at the mouth, like ice water just underneath my fur, and I see where it is pointing me. I dip my head forwards and with an outward breath, spray light across the room. It's a direct hit, and Avery falls back. For a second it looks like the bolt has gone through her, and when I run over, my bones seem to jostle in my body with every step.

"Rena!" Avery cries.

"What did I do?" I yell. "What did I do? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Avery shakes her head, lifting herself back to her paws. Gale has stopped, his head turned, and he looks at me with a confused bundle of emotions no verbal translation can properly convey.

"I didn't mean to do anything bad," I say.

Composing herself with a heavy inwards breath, Avery says, "In the future... you never go for the wings in sparring. It's bad form."

"Will Plague victims go for our wings?" Gale asks. "Wait, are we done?"

"We're done." Avery confirms.

"Really?" Gale asks. His tail swings and he tilts his head up, cockily. "That's it?"

"What?" I bark. "She almost beat us."

"That's fair. You, a total novice, held me the entire time, and one of your members was incapacitated for most of the fight. By all accounts, it was hardly the showier affair I suppose you were expecting from a regional Alpha. I apologize for failing to meet such expectations." Avery says. "I was never a fighter."

"But you lived," Gale insists. "As more than a strategist, too. How did you manage to survive this long if..."

Avery's body crackles with a slight field of energy. "I don't expect you know much about Virtues, do you? There've been reports of such individuals across time and space, between worlds... Dreamland has waited a long time for their virtue of leadership. I can not honestly say I've accomplished all I wanted to accomplish, nor everything I perhaps needed to accomplish. I've only ever done what I could. Along the way, I've picked up tricks, but the most important of those have come not from any elemental alignment but instead my abilities in cultivating community."

"You want us here," I say. "Do you have lightning vision that tells you who to pick?"

Avery nods. "I wouldn't say so, but I have a knack for finding the best Sentients to rally to a cause, or where to allot certain members of my party. Regardless, even a blind Canis could tell that you two are auspicious. I'm not going to deny that, but I also don't want you to feel that you've been trapped here."

"Rena wants to stay." Gale says, then adds, "I also... have some interests."

My eyes widen. This must've really impressed him.

Avery smiles. "I'm glad to know you've both gotten something out of this. Rena, stop making that face. I've already told you I'm not upset." The burning scent in the air says something else entirely, points to something inexcusable. She folds the broken appendage against her, and I'm imagining myself falling out of the sky. Why are limbs so fragile if we need them to move? "I... need to go speak with Glaze."

Guilt still stabbing my heart, I slip out of the room as she does, and she goes one way while I go the other, trying not to look at her. "Sorry," I say, over my back.

"Rena. It's fine," This time, it's Gale who says it. "You didn't... know."

I stare at the ground.

"I'm feeling faint, too." Gale says. "Do you want to go to Glaze?"

"No," I say sharply. When Gale's ears raise, I correct myself, hastily, "I'm not tired, but you should go."

"Really?" Gale nudges me. "You sure you don't want to--"

"Gale. Leave me alone." She's back. The Sentient who says it is much stronger than I am, and I can feel her filling my body, raising my shoulders so that I look taller than I am. My horns cast longer shadows, and the ghost stands over me, eclipsing my body and snuffing out all the guilt and fear.

Gale glares right into my light. "Right." he says, and slinks off.

The new feelings twist into a smoky nothingness as I meander hallways I don't know, ignoring scents and focusing on finding the steps. I take five laps before I eventually make it back up, and by then, the outsider has left with most of the last few hours. I can sense her receding into the back of my mind, never truly out of my peripherals. I'm trying to be something more than a dot pressed in on myself, a single light in a sea of darkness, when I hit Indigo in the halls.

"Fancy meeting you here," Indigo says.

"I live here." I reply.

"Really! I'll have you know I'm a tenant too. I guess that makes us practically destined to be friends, doesn't it, Rena?"

"Does it?" I ask.

Sincerely, Indy says, "Yes. In fact, I'd wager we're already friends. It's a nebulous word, isn't it? You can call anyone you want your friend... but does that really make them your friend? Plenty of folks either call others 'friends' when they just want something out of them or never tell their friends that they have, indeed, submitted an application to the Board of Chums and been verified as horn-butting covenant-blooded brothers for the rest of days."

"What's an application?" I ask.

"Depends on what you'd like to apply to, Rena!" Indy beams. I'm already entirely lost. "So, speaking of 'blood' and 'nebulous', where's Gale?"

I tilt my head. I think he was mad at me... oh, no, we were fighting earlier but we weren't fighting each other, so that's not bad at all. "He's tired because he did all the work. I think he's going to see Glaze?"

"She'll like that." notes Indy.

I nod blankly.

"Say, do you know anyone else from before this?" Indy asks.

"Oh yes! I know this tree... I mean, that is, Gale says you can't know a tree, but Rain called her Lotus, and she said she's got something inside of her. A dead Canis or something. I don't know why you'd store that in a tree, it seems really inconvenient."

"It does, but fortunately I don't think Rain actually meant there were dead bodies in the tree." says Indy. "Below the tree, though--that's a different story. The tree's nutrients took up Lotus's soul energy, so now it's kind of like part of her, or who she used to be. Personally, I think that once you're dead, you're dead, but your soul and heart do go elsewhere. It's just that they're not really you anymore."

"But is she someone? Because she was kind of my only friend." Quickly clarifying, I add, "I used to call it a 'she', but Gale says that's weird."

"Really? I think it's beautiful." Indy says. "It's not anyone, though. That doesn't mean you can't call the tree whatever you want."

"Oh. Thanks. I'll make sure to tell her when I get back," I say. "If I get back. I think I might die first."

"Hey. Rena? You're not going to die," Indy's eyes are a pale blue that remind me of the sky, but they are unlike the color of any sky in my hazed-over memory. They are a day that has slipped past me, but seeing him here, like this... it is like being fed a thousand days from my past all at once.

No. He's right. I need to live, and I need to get better.