Chapter 38: The Ashes Of Our Home
Clones awaited the Jedi when they returned. It was as they had expected, it was a trap for any survivors, but it had also been easier to get here because of the session at the senate, just as Yoda had said.
The three Jedi all knew that conflict with the clones was inevitable. That didn't stop it from breaking Grim's heart. She knows that they have no choice in the matter, they were victims of the Sith just as much as the Jedi were. Still, she couldn't bring herself to say anything even now. Even when her silence had already cost so many lives.
She looked at Obi-Wan and Yoda with tears in her eyes, silently pleading with them, because she still can't say the words out loud. They look at her with a silent apology, understanding what she was trying to convey, even if it wasn't everything.
The two of them ignite their lightsabers, the blue and green blades humming to life. Grim hesitates, she doesn't want to fight anymore, too many people had already died, and they still were. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry. She wanted them to know the truth, for everyone to know the truth. It was crushing her, but she had to keep moving. She ignited her lightsaber, although the song of her weapon no longer brought any sort of comfort.
The clones attacked. Obi-Wan and Yoda moved easily. The fight came easy to them - and it would for her too, but she was too broken by everything. How was she supposed to fight the men she had seen as her brothers? Even if they were trying to kill her, they had lost just as much as she had. Her shoulder slows her down as well, she can hardly hold her lightsaber straight.
As she fights she doesn't look, she can't bring herself to. It all hurts too much, with the knowledge of everything weighing on her. She had failed the clones just as much as she had failed the Jedi. Fighting had become so ingrained into her that it's easy for her, despite the pain. War was almost all she had ever known, at least in this life.
Her lightsaber makes contact with the armor of a clone trooper. She steps back as he falls to the ground, dead. Dead, because of her. She just stares at the body, "I'm sorry," she whispers to him. She hadn't meant to.
Except she had, because killing the clones was the only way, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
Once the clones had all been defeated they deactivated their lightsabers and stood in front of the Jedi Temple.
The place where the Jedi lived, home, and the place where they had died.
Grim looks at Obi-Wan and Yoda, she still can't tell them what they're about to see. She wishes she could. It was breaking her heart. She told Yoda she was willing to do this, but now she doubted if she was.
They look back at her. Their eyes are filled with sadness, and she knows they're sorry for her. She should be the one who was sorry, it was because of her this even happened.
She rolled her shoulders back and steeled herself. She had to keep her composure, for their sake. No matter how much she felt like she was dying. Together they entered the Jedi Temple.
It was in ruins.
There were scorch marks from blasterfire and lightsabers alike. Some pillars had been cut down and destroyed. There's blood and bodies on the ground. The bodies belonging to both the Jedi and clones.
Grief chokes Grim. This had been her home, for three years this had been home. They had been her family. Even having seen this before had not prepared her for this, because this time everything was real. The light that once lived in this place was gone, in its place was nothing.
The nothingness almost killed her.
They reached the center, where a group of dead Padawans and younglings lay. Obi-Wan gasped at the sight, "not even the younglings survived."
"Nobody did," she whispered. "Not here."
Yoda notices the injuries of one of the Padawans. "This Padawan, killed not by a clone, but by a lightsaber he was."
Both Obi-Wan and Grim kneeled down and saw what he had. "Who?" He looks at Grim. "Who could have done this?"
This breaks her. She can't hide from this, she couldn't avoid giving an answer. No matter what they would learn the truth, so wouldn't it be better to hear it from her? After all, it had been the fact she had hidden from the truth that had killed them in the first place.
She doesn't look at him when she speaks, she only stares at the dead Padawan. He couldn't have been that much younger than her. "I tried to stop him. I tried to change this, to make sure this wouldn't happen. Though I failed, I failed." Her voice breaks and she chokes back a sob. "I should have just killed him. Then so many more people would have been spared. Instead I allowed myself to foolishly hope that he would never fall, that he would never do this, that he could be reasoned with. He was already gone when I appeared here."
She can't bring herself to finish. Why had she allowed herself to get so close to Anakin? She had known what he would do, and yet she had loved him anyway. Even before she had appeared he had started his descent to the dark side. It had been a foolish and childish hope that she could have saved him.
"Who? Who are you talking about?" Obi-Wan asks.
She forces herself to look at him. He would learn no matter what, he deserved to hear the truth from her for once. "Anakin," she replies quietly. "Anakin did this."
He stares at her in a combination of shock and disbelief. "Anakin?" He echoes. "No, he- Anakin wouldn't-" He finds himself at a loss for words.
She stands up abruptly and glares at him through her tears. Hurt by the fact that he doesn't believe her, she finally tells him the truth and he won't believe her. "Oh, he wouldn't would he? How about you go see the recordings yourself?! Go see what your 'brother' did! If you do not want to take my word for it, then go watch him kill our family yourself!"
Her grief had turned into a burning anger and it hurt, everything hurt.
Obi-Wan stands up too. "I will," he says firmly. "And I will warn the other Jedi, as the reason we came here. Although you should be more mindful of your emotions, my young Padawan learner."
She scoffs, and crosses her arms, looking directly at him. Her anger was unwavering. "Do not lecture me, Master."
"I am not lecturing you, Grim. I am simply reminding you to be mindful," he replies, calmly. "You are letting your emotions blind you."
She lets her arms fall to her side, but the anger does not dissipate. "Let us just get this over with. I can not bear to be here any longer, let us warn the others and leave." She turns her back to Obi-Wan and begins to make her way to the central security station where the Jedi beacon was housed. She doesn't bother to see if the other two follow her, she knows they will.
Her grief weighs heavy on her. She can't stop thinking about her failures, and what this means for the future of the galaxy. Yoda senses her grief and speaks up, "dead many of us are, but truly gone we are not."
She nods but says nothing. For what is there left for her to say? This was only the beginning, she knew that. This purge would continue, the Empire, Vader and the Inquisitors, they would keep hunting down Jedi, and killing them. This was only the start, and she couldn't help but feel as if she had been the one to cause it.
They reach the central security station. Obi-Wan leaves to reroute the message, and Grim remains with Yoda. She looks at the console that would project the security holograms. She knows what she will find when she turns it on, but she has to see it. To really see it. She moves to play it but Yoda stops her.
"Mindful you must be of your anger, Padawan Kennet."
She doesn't look at him. "I have to see it for myself. I need a reason to feel these emotions. It is not enough to know from fiction, I have to see reality." She had to see what Anakin had done, it was the only way she could justify this anger that had crawled its way into her heart.
"Understandable is your anger, but mindful of it you must be," he reminded her.
Her hands turn to fists at her side and she bows her head. A tear falls down her cheek and lands on the ground. "I have to see it," she repeats.
"Stop you I will not, but warn you I will; if watch this in a search for revenge a path to the dark side it will be," he cautioned her.
She turns around and faces him, tears once more falling freely down her face, and she doesn't care to hide it. Anger and grief had mixed to become one in the same. "All there is, is darkness!" She snaps. "The light has been defeated! The Jedi are dead! Who cares if there is more darkness? That's all there is left for the galaxy!"
He remains calm, even if stung by her words. "Remains the light still does, blinded to it you are."
"Or has it been the light blinding me?" She asks coolly. "If I had killed Skywalker in the beginning this would have never occurred. Yet, because I had chosen to believe in the light, to give him a chance, the galaxy has suffered and will continue to do so!"
"Hear yourself do you? Think about this, you should."
"I have thought about it," she says, eerily calm. Obi-Wan returns at just that moment, just in time to hear Grim say, "I am going to kill Skywalker myself. I will not make the same mistake again."
"Padawan-" He starts, but Grim was already gone.
He shares a concerned look with Yoda. Then the two of them run after her, catching up with her just before she can reach the hanger. "Grim Kennet!" He calls.
The use of her full name causes her to pause. Slowly she turns around to face them. "Do not try to stop me," she threatens them.
"You are not to kill Anakin!"
"And why not, Master? Killing him will stop his future bloodshed, I am doing the galaxy a favor."
"You are not doing this for the better of the galaxy, you are after revenge. Revenge is not the Jedi way."
She walks over to him and gestures to the state the Temple has been left in, to the death that fills it. "In case you have yet to notice, Master, the Jedi are dead!"
The words hurt him, but he speaks gently. "Not all of us. Even if we were, would you still be willing to surrender to this anger? You must clear your head, you're not thinking clearly. Your emotions betray you."
"I am not surrendering," she insists. "I am doing what must be done, for you will fail to do so, you are not able to do this, to kill a man who is already dead."
"And you are?" He asks. "Are you truly willing to kill Anakin, to have that blood on your hands, or are you speaking out of anger? You must realize that if you follow this path you might make his same mistakes."
"I will not fall."
"Be mindful of your anger, think about this."
"What is there to think about? I know about the blood he will spill and the darkness he will spread throughout the galaxy. There is no light left within him, the boy you raised is gone, Master. I have seen where this will lead. Shall I think more of that? That strengthens my resolve to end this. I have failed, but perhaps I can change one last thing."
"Listen to Master Kenobi you should. Killing Skywalker in this way, lead you on the path to the dark side it will. Willing to do this are you?"
"If there's even the slightest chance it can save lives, then yes. I will take a life to save countless more, I would make that sacrifice."
"Is that what this is? Are you heading to kill Anakin to save lives or for revenge for the lives he has already taken?" Obi-Wan asked.
They've reached the hanger by now and Grim begins looking for a ship. "Does it matter?" She asks, not facing him.
"It does," he answers.
This causes her to stop for a moment. She considers his words. When she speaks, she's a little calmer. "To be truthful, I do not know either. What I do know is that Skywalker must be stopped."
"Agree I do," says Yoda. "Defeat the Sith we must. Although seek revenge we do not, the Jedi way it is not."
"Why follow the Jedi way when the Jedi are dead?" She asks, but this time she means it. She wants to know, she needs Yoda's guidance.
"Lose our way, we must not."
"I understand that, Master. Still, I must face Skywalker."
"Not alone, go with you Master Kenobi must," Yoda says, taking the other two by surprise.
Obi-Wan looks at him, "Anakin is like a brother to me, I can not do it."
She turns around and looks at both of them. "Master Kenobi is right Master Yoda, I have seen the fight, Obi-Wan can not kill Skywalker, he is not strong enough to do what must be done."
He looks at her, his hurt showing in his eyes. "Grim, that is not what I meant."
"Isn't it?" She asks, crossing her arms. "Besides, I must face Skywalker alone."
"You must not face him at all. You are still blinded by your anger, not to mention your injury."
She touches her injured shoulder and winces. "So what?" She turns back around to the Jedi Starfighter she had found and chose to take her to Anakin. "It doesn't change that Skywalker must be defeated."
Ignoring their protests she jumps in and leaves the Jedi Temple. Leaving behind her life for a second time, knowing she could never return. She sets the course to Mustafar as she thinks about what Obi-Wan and Yoda told her. Was she really willing to kill Anakin? She pushed the question to the back of her mind. It didn't matter, she had made her choice.
Skywalker had to die.
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