five years later...

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     "One order of a medium cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso, and a chocolate chip muffin. Great! Anything else?"

     "No thank you." I said while checking my phone. Still no text. She said she would have been here an hour ago. I can not believe she chose to be late today. On the one day that was most important to me. Correction, to the both of us.

     The waitress made a grunting noise which finally made me lift up my eyes from my phone. I  looked up at the woman questioningly. Why was she still standing there?

     "I said would you like for me to pack that up for you to go?" The woman looked incredibly impatient. Then again, I don't blame her. I have been taking up this seat for almost more than an hour in a very busy, small cafe. But I have ordered three cappuccinos, and four muffins. It's not like I was sitting here, wasting her time.

     "Yes! Would you make that for a to go? And also a americano with cream and no sugar, please?" A voice behind the waitress said, a voice very similar to...

     I looked behind the waitress to see my favorite blonde, my late sister's best friend, Reagan. I jumped up with excitement, and gave her a big hug.

     "Hi babe! I am so sorry. Something really important came up, and-"

     "Something more important than this?"

     "Um, I don't want to ruin this moment, but would you like to pay now or up front?" The waitress worriedly looked between Reagan and I.

    "Oh yes, of course." I said as I dug around my purse to get some cash. But Reagan had beat me to it, and gave the waitress her shiny gray card. She shoots me a smile as she takes a seat.

     "Alright, now before you say anything, I want you to sit down. Please."

     I glanced towards the sit across from her, and I shook my head.

     "Seriously Lanny?" She gave me the puppy dog eyes, and I couldn't resist.

     "Okay. Now I know you think there can't be anything more important than this day, its's Andrea's birthday after all, but trust me, what I'm about to tell you is just as important." Before she could say anything else, the waitress came back, giving us our drinks and me a muffin. She really has to stop interrupting us.

     "You know what-" Reagan got up, gathering her things, and looked back at me. "I don't want to waste any more time so why don't you get in my car, and I'll explain everything there?"

     "And where are we going?" I asked while gathering my things as well, and taking a huge bite of my muffin.

     "You'll see."

     ________

     Reagan parked right outside my house as I gave her a strange look.

     "And this box is in my house?" I asked.

     Reagan nodded. "Yup, it's in Andrea's room."

     During the car ride, Reagan explained to me about Andrea's, as she put it,  Confidential Box. It contains some of her very important things like her notes/letters and knick-knacks. But most importantly, the letter she wrote for me. The one she was supposed to give to me herself before my senior year started. Unbelievable, I know. But its true.

     "I'm not sure where exactly she put it, but I do remember that you need a key to open it-" She took out a long necklace with a key hanging from it. "I don't know where her necklace is, but I know mine will work just fine."

     I held the necklace very delicately in my hands. I remember Andrea wearing the same necklace around her neck.

     I looked at Reagan, gave her a quick hug, and ran all the way up to my front door.

     I quickly unlocked the door to the house, and made sure no one saw me. I could hear my Father and Amber in his office practicing debating skills. I wonder if they remember what day it is. I've never seen my Father do anything special and it seems like Amber already forgot. But I will never.

     I quietly tiptoe up the stairs, making sure not to make any noise. I make a stop outside of Andrea's room. The door was closed, but not locked. God, I haven't been here in so many years. Mainly because my Father said no one was allowed to go inside the room, and I was not going to challenge him. But today's going to be different.

     As I stepped inside the room, I noticed that everything in the room was left as if Andrea never died, and we were just waiting for her to come back home. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I didn't think this would be too difficult.

     Her room was painted a shade of aquamarine, very bold, just like her. Her desk was facing one side of the wall, with a bunch of pictures hanging above it; photos of her and her friends, a few with Amber and I, and I noticed that there were a lot of photos with her and me. There were a ton from when we went to the city, just me and her. We saw The Heathers on Broadway and then we went on a ferry to Ellis Island. We ate at this vegan restaurant. It was a couple of days before she left. My last good memories of her.

     I tried to distract myself from all of this so I could actually start looking for the box. I don't want my Dad or Amber coming up here, and seeing me in her room. I will be in a lot of trouble, that's for sure.

I checked everywhere; her closet, desk, under her bed, in her dresser. But the box was no where to be found. I double-checked and made sure everything was back in its place before I started to leave. And that's when I noticed. The big purple box.

It was placed delicately in the corner with many books and stuffed animals covering it. I carefully took it out, and used Reagan's key to open it. Fortunately, it opened without a budge.

The box contained many notes and letters. Some just reminds that she had a test tomorrow or a party to attend. Others actual letters. She didn't start off with dear diary or anything; just wrote whatever she had to write and signed off with her name. But then I found the one I was looking for. Unlike the others, this was signed off for somebody. Me.

I took a deep breath before carefully ripping open the envelope. In her beautifully messy handwriting, it said For Lanny, my nerdy baby sis.

I swallowed back my tears, and leaned against her bed. I can do this, I thought as I unfolded the letter.

Bonjour Baby! I will give this letter to you on your first day of your senior year. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT ALANNAH P CHANDLER AND IF THIS IS YOU LANNY, THIS BETTER BE 17 Y/O YOU NOT SNEAKY TWELVE Y/O YOU!!!

Okay so how do I start this??! Do people even write and read letters in the future? I mean it's been like five years, right? Should I make myself sound more sophisticated or nah? Nah. I'm too good for that. First thing first, if I'm giving you this letter, it means I still love you and you're still a huge book nerd. Which is okay, but SWEETHEART you need to grow out of this phase or else you're going to be a loser for the rest of your life. There I said it.

Okay I'm sorry!! You are NOT a loser, you just need to be more confident. I mean when you were little you ALWAYS listened to Mom and Dad, did everything perfectly. Right then, I knew you were always going to be their little puppet. You can't be like that forever. You are so much better than that. Mom and Dad would never let me do anything, they hated when I went out with my boyfriend or my friends(they didn't like any of them, don't know why since they never even talked to them) so you know when you always asked why I sneaked out every night or lied to Mom and Dad about where I'm going, this is why. They can't protect me for forever, and they can't protect you for forever either.

SO I have decided to make you a list. And this list stays between us just like my confidential box does. THIS IS YOUR CONFIDENTIAL LIST!!! and the amount of effort I put into this list is A LOT so I swear to mr. puckerberry if you don't follow this list, I will find you and littlerly make you do all this shit. Yeah that's right so you better listen to your smarter, more prettier older sister.

But no I'm serious Lanny. I really want you to live your life to the fullest, I want you to look back and think wow high school was pretty fun, I did so much stupid shit. Cause trust me you really don't want to be saying yeah high school was pretty boring, all I did was study every night and go to adult parties with my parents. Take this advice from me as a friend, not a sister. You want to remember high school for the good shit. Not just for all the god damn tests you took. So please, just listen to me this once, I know I'm not very bright, and a happy going sister you'd want me to be, and I'm not always there for you, but this will help you. All I want for you is to enjoy life and not worry about all the problems around you.

     I can't read this anymore.

     It's suffocating me. It's like I can feel her with me, telling me all this. But the thing is, she's not. She's gone. How can I live my life when she isn't here?

     Then it hits me. This is exactly what Andrea's trying to tell me. Everything she explained in the letter is true, and she's not even here to see me. It's like she always knew I was going to be a loser. Well she did in a way.

     I want to be like Andrea, the bold, strong girl. I want to be able to talk back to people instead of stutter. I want to be a normal teenage girl. I want to enjoy life. I want to be a somebody.

     I look back to the letter, and then at the clock. It's ten thirteen. I'm going to read this. And I will listen to whatever it says. I don't care if it says to go skinny dipping in the neighbor's pool or to eat a snail, I'm going to do it. Just for you Andrea.

Alannah P. Chandler's Confidential List for SENIOR YEAR

written by a.r chandler (i copyrighted this myself bitches)

1. post a sexy picture of you on on a popular social media website (if Facebook isn't cool anymore)

2. Drive a Lamborghini at one hundred sixty nine miles, windows down ;)

3. Wear the most modest and sexiest cloths ever so time for you to go shopping!!! (pull overs and khakis are not sexy)

4. Go to Las Vegas in the middle of the night with a group of friends, and go to every buffet you see!

5. Go to the senior trip (heard they're pretty fun, but I never went to one, so remember to call me, and tell me ALL about it ;)

6. buy a fake ID, and go buy spray paint so you can make a graffiti on the back of a building in nyc

7. Ride a motorcycle BY YOURSELF, either a Yamaha or a Ducati (those are the coolest)

8. Kiss a total stranger (just make sure he or she doesn't have herpes or HIV so it doesn't have to be a TOTAL stranger)

9. Create a dating profile on some online dating website and go on a blind date

10. Go skinny-dipping in the Kaaterskills Fall (or any other waterfalls you find)

11. Dance in the rain with some really attractive guy. (Hopefully Ryan Reynolds cause he's yummyyy, actually no he's mine, go find yourself some other hot guy you bitch ;)

12. Dye your hair a pastel color like when I'd dyed my hair pastel pink, but you CANNOT do pink, pleaseeeee, try somethin new

13. Sing a karaoke duet with Mom, possibly her favorite song, Say Say Say by Micheal Jackson for her birthday

14. Throw the best party of the year, GO ALL OUT!! (Has to be more than a hundred people to count)

15. Get a Harry Potter tattoo

16. Learn to surf (I couldn't do it because of my water phobia, but it's REALLY FUN, don't want you to be scared of the water either ;)

17. Go skinny dipping in a hot guy's pool (break in and enter if you have to)

18. Think of the BEST senior prank to pull on one of the worst teachers (hopefully Ms. Mister Bitchy (aka Ms. Davids)

19. Prompose to a guy (let's change up the rules shall we!!)

20. Go snowboarding in Colorado (its soooooo fun)

21. Go to a Protest for a good cause (create one if you have to)

22. Watch Rom Coms the whole day with a really hot guy

23. Go to a high school party, and get as drunk as you possibly can

24. Get up in front of a crowd, and give a really inspirational speech, sing a song if you have to

25. Get a job (and no fancy smancy job, maybe somethin like working at McDonald's, okay just kidding but get a REGULAR job, strippers count too ;)

26. Go to Prom wearing the hotttest dress evaaa

27. Plan the most perfect date (it shouldn't just be the guy planning all this shit sis, we girls got some responsibility as well)

28. Do someone a big favor that can change their life (okay maybe not go that far, but do somethin huge for them)

29. watch the sunset ( it's beautifullll)

30.tell someone I love you from the bottom of your heart

31.

32.

33.

34.

35

THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR YOU. And boy did these come up with a lot of thinking. So now your job is to finish ALL of these, and come of with your OWN. There are obviously some stuff you have to change up or maybe you want to do before you graduate so I left some numbers blank FOR YOU to fill them in.

And for my sake Lanny, don't tell anyone about this. I wrote this for you because I want you to have fun in your life, and enjoy all you have. I don't want you to do this because I MADE you, but because you wanted to do it.

So graduate happy, and do what you want in life. And remember I will ALWAYS be there for you. Love you tons Lanny.

xoxo
Andrea

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a big thank you to anyone reading this, you just made my day, you deserve a HUGE chocolate chip cookie! please leave a comment and like if you want <3