A/N: Please no judgement on how some of the characters act, namely old man Yama. I have reasons for that but it won't be answered unless I plan to write up Book Two. These are the ways the characters act towards Kera. It's also a long chapter which I had to end up splitting, didn't realise I had written so much for it. Enjoy!

I played with the end of my braid, swishing it back and forth along the palm of my hand. After the battle, it hadn't gone back to it's usual colour so now I was stuck with hair as blue as the sky. I didn't mind it much, it suited me somehow, but it was cumbersome to brush. And even more dangerous to let Yachiru near it.

The sun had risen a while ago but I was reluctant to leave the bed. It had been comforting doing nothing but lie here for several days. Alone, quiescent, unbothered by anyone besides Yachiru's sporadically unpredictable visits and a few others from the Squad. Unohana had decreed total, quiet bed-rest for me and everyone obeyed Unohana.

Except nothing could stop the thoughts in my head, the ache inside me. Strange how when you had to share a body with a foul-mouthed, violent Hollow, you actually missed them when they were gone.

"Chiya, are you there?"

Silence. It had been the same since the battle. The turmoil of her emotions in reaction to Aizen, it hurt to even dwell on them. They'd been so raw that they left a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps she was still pissed when I caused us to lose the fight against Aizen - that was me trying to be positive.

Perhaps Aizen's attack had sent her away somehow. Maybe I should have let her use the Cero.

I clutched at my chest, feeling hollow. I had a lot to feel empty about these past few days.

Of all the people who'd come to visit me, the Head Captain had not been one of the ones I expected.

I sat up when I heard the click of the handle turning. Yachiru led the procession, with old man Yama right behind her.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Hello, Head Captain."

"Leave us be," he commanded. Yachiru slipped out quietly with a final glance at me.

"I'd stand but..."

"That's quite alright," he said, taking a seated before the bed. "Captain Unohana and I have already spoken."

"To what do I owe a visit?" I questioned. I didn't need any questions of concerns nor words of comfort. When you met with the Head Captain one-on-one, it only spelt trouble.

"I'm here to discuss your soul reaper status." And just like that, I felt my stomach dropped away. His words buzzed in my ears. "I know you wish to return to Squad Eleven, and we are grateful in your help in trying to stop Aizen and the others, but..." Here, he trailed off.

I took a deep breath before speaking."Do you mean to say I can't come home?" My voice was barely more than a whisper. I clasped my hands together so he wouldn't see them shake.

"Unfortunately not. While many have petitioned for your return, I cannot allow you in the Soul Society. The reason being the Hollow."

My hand raised to my throat before I could stop it, to the uncovered Hollow hole I hadn't wished to hide any longer. What use was there in concealing it when everyone must have sensed or seen the Cero at my lips.

"A number of people witnessed her unbridled, uncontrolled strength for themselves, and also the concern that the Hollow had ties to Aizen in the past. I cannot allow such dangerous power to reside in the Soul Society unchecked."

"Then just kill me now." I was surprised by the venom behind the words and by how much I truly meant them.

"By law, I'd have you killed but it is not a task I much agree with. The only other choice that remains is that you return to the World of the Living. I do not wish to see you dead."

He looked away, a pained expression crossing his features briefly. It shocked me to find that I had seen this look on his face before. It was a whisper of a memory, nothing I'd lived through; yet it was clear as day that I knew the Head Captain before...before what?

I kept my mouth shut and cast the flimsy memory aside. It had to be a trick but when I closed my eyes, I saw golden sparks fluttering in the darkness and heard two voices bickering.

"I understand," I said, surprised to find my voice calm. I opened my eyes and stared down at my hands. "I wouldn't even trust myself after what happened. Thank you for sparing me. I –

"Hey, Kera!" came the warning to shock me from my thoughts before Yachiru kicked open the door and launched herself to me on the bed.

Ikkaku followed her more calmly. "How's it going?" he asked.

"Boring yet great," I admitted, rubbing Yachiru's head until her hair spiked in all direction. She tried flattening it with a hand but only succeeded in making things worse. I laughed as I ran my fingers through her hair while she pouted. "Sleep's been amazing without having to listen to anyone snore like thunderclouds."

Snoring in the barracks was no joke, it was abominable but with everyone mouth open, sound blaring, it was hard to blame just one. They both cracked up laughing.

Breaking the news to Ikkaku and Yachiru would been harder than I anticipated. I sobered at the notion.

Ikkaku took the seat old man Yama had been in earlier, spinning it round so he could sit with his chin resting on the back of the chair. "So have they said anything about you leaving your room yet?"

"I got a letter from Unohana about being released tomorrow. I am not to leave until my modified uniform comes, which should be tomorrow."

"A new uniform means you must be staying!" Yachiru surmised. Before I could contradict her, she was already on the next train of thought. "Now that you're back,we can do so many things! Lollies from the districts, you can come join me at the Shinigami Women's Association and-and-"

"And you can fight the lot of us. We wanna know if you're stronger now after training in the world of the living."

"Yeah! You can fight Kenny again! Not Pachinko Head here, you'd beat him for sure."

"Hey, I can put up a good fight."

"You lost to Zuu Zuu. Yumichiki would be a better match."

I shook my head as they bickered, the insults growing more and more bold. How I'd missed this. So even though my heart bled all over my shattered soul, I plastered a grin on my face and forced the lie out through my teeth.

"Actually, I've decided that I'm going back to the World of the Living."

"WHAT?!" they both chorused, throwing themselves into my personal space. I pushed their heads away.

"Hush for a moment and I'll explain." They dropped silently into their seats, looking glum. "I've realised I can't stay in the Soul Society, at least for a little bit anyways. You guys didn't know this but I'm currently a house for a very dangerous Hollow. And I want to try to find out more. Chiya – that's the Hollow's name – she had some connection to Aizen. There's someone I need to see in the World of the Living who can help me out I believe."

"So why can't you come back straight after that? It sounds like an easy mission," Yachiru said.

I shook my head. "With everything that's been going on, I don't think it will be that easy." The next lie rolled easily too. "Old Man Yama has also requested, unofficially, that I keep an eye on Ichigo. You know how he is."

Yachiru raised a finger to her lips then nodded seriously. "Ichi is a bit stupid sometimes. You have to keep him alive so he can fight Kenny again."

"Exactly! And it shouldn't be for too long, just until this whole debacle blows over." If it ever does.

"Aren't you two supposed to be letting her rest?" Yumichika said. He stood in the doorway, flicking off a speck of dust from his shoulder. "Plus, the Captain is looking for you, Lieutenant."

"I better go see what Kenny wants," Yachiru said. She waved goodbye at the doorway then sprinted off. Ikkaku followed her.

"How are you doing?" Yumichika asked, watching Ikkaku go before turning to me.

I sighed. With the others out of earshot I didn't have to keep up the charade. I didn't have to lie to Yumichika, I trusted him to keep a secret. "I'm trying to keep my head high but...it's hard."

"The Head Captain visited yesterday, didn't he?"

"Yeah." I fiddled with the blanket. "I hadn't the heart to tell them two that I'm not going back to the world of the living by my choice."

"So you lied to them?"

"I fibbed a little, told a half truth. Someone does need to keep an eye on Ichigo, that's for sure. Whatever this nonsense is, I fear it's not the end."

~

Laid out on a chair was a modified soul reaper uniform. It had been altered into a two piece outfit with the pants remaining the same but the top cropped to avoid the fabric rubbing against the bandages.

I dressed slowly. Even with Orihime's and Unohana's efforts, my healing was slow going. I had to have actual stitches put into place because Hollow Bone hadn't filled the gaps and I lost too much blood waiting for it to heal with Kido.

Against the wall leaned Dorangohato. It returned about three days ago. I had my doubts it was a gift from Chiya but nevertheless, having it's heavy presence at my waist comforted me. I strapped it tight and with a final glance in the mirror to make sure my bandages weren't bleeding through, I walked out the door.

The minute I stepped out, Ichigo rushed by yelling. In his wake, Kenpachi followed close behind. I blinked as they breezed past.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Why are you chasing me?!" came Ichigo's cries.

"If you're well enough to run, come back and fight me!"

I doubled over with laughter, which hurt like a bitch, but the pain was worth every second.

"Hey, sleeping ugly, you're awake!" Ikkaku called. Him and several other Squad 11 members lingered in the courtyard. All heads turned to me.

I glared down at him from the balcony. "What did you call me? Do I have to come knock some sense into you?"

"You can try but all I need to do is poke you and you'll keel over." His buffoon laughter irked me even more.

"That's it! Prepare yourself, Cueball, for the thrashing of a lifetime."

"What do you think you're doing?" Isane said. I froze with my foot on the railing and hand on my sword.

"Nothing," I lied and lowered myself back to flat ground.

"We didn't spend hours working on you for you to go tearing your stitches doing something stupid." She stood with her arms crossed, her foot tapping on the ground. I sheepishly avoided her gaze. "Unohana has summoned you to Squad Four."

Oh no. I'd been dreading this moment for a long time. Damn you ,Chiya.

"Lead the way, I guess."

We entered Squad Four and I kept my shoulders down and head high when numerous eyes all turned to watch us come through. Isane led me towards the Captain's office then left me at the door. I knocked.

"Come in."

I stepped into the room. Unohana sat before her table, a spread of delicious teacakes and biscuits before her. Two cups of tea on either side. I moved to the empty spot, skin crawling. I wanted nothing more than to bolt out the door but it had shut behind me. Cornered and trapped, I knelt on the ground, hands bunched into fists on my thighs.

She didn't say anything. I watched her hands – because I couldn't bear to look at her face – as she quietly and elegantly poured the tea. She scooped two spoons of sugar into mine and slid it across the table, then gently raised hers out of its saucer.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted. My heart thundered in my ears. "I'm so sorry for everything." Then the words all came rushing out. And I meant everything. Things I hadn't told anyone, that had just been bottled up inside me for so, so long. I ran out of breath before the words could finish and I inhaled deeply for round two.

"That's quite enough, Kera. I know," she said. The words dried up. "And I don't blame you for anything." Tears pricked my eyes. "Please, drink your tea before it grows cold."

I raised my cup to my lips with both hands, pretending that it was the hot steam that made tears form.

"So the Hollow's name is Chiya? How much do you know about her?"

I was instantly transported back to our encounter after Paulo's defeat. I cringed and put down my cup. My stomach churned too much for the pretty cakes so I took a biscuit and nibbled the corner.

"Yes. She's not the most... delicate person. Not as much as I thought. Apparently she's always been sharing a body with me and she lends me her powers when I need them. But..." I trailed off, unsure if I wanted to spill the beans on the connection between her and Aizen.

"She's very brazen, threatening me. Powerful too."

"She is – was – a handful."

"She's no longer there?"

"I don't know," I admitted. I dunked the biscuit into my tea. "I haven't felt her presence since... since the fight against Aizen."

Unohana didn't question me further about Chiya. "Kera, I'm here for you if you need me. Whether it be for a shoulder to cry on or someone to train with. You may ask me anything, be it within my abilities to help you."

"Thank you, Captain Unohana. That's very generous of you." I raised my head. She had a soft smile on her lips encouraging me which made me feel more at ease. I stirred my tea. "Actually, is there any chance I may ask for tips with Kido? Mine's... well, there's no beating around the bush, it's really pathetic."

"Ah, I do remember your entrance exam."

I groaned, slumping down onto a hand. "Please don't remind me. I still have nightmares of that stupid target."

She laughed. "You have great potential but your focus needs a little fine-tuning. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of other highly powerful Soul Reapers have trouble with their Kido. Captain Kenpachi included."

"That makes me feel a little better."

"If you're feeling up for it, we can try now?" she asked. "Nothing too challenging mind you. You are still healing after all."