We walked out of the nurse's office and to our lockers together, side by side. But it wasn't one of those awkward walks we had often. It was the kind where I was hyperaware of everything he was doing. The way he would open doors for me, the way our hands would brush whenever the hallways got narrow.

Damn it. For some reason, every time our hands brushed against each other's I wanted to hold onto his and never let go. I don't know why. It just felt like I needed to do that.

Don't you dare hold his hand Ellie. Don't do it. I repeated. Over and over again. To the point where I got lost in my thoughts again, like I always do when I'm close to Aaron. It's like his superpower.

"We're here, Ellie." Aaron says turning to look at me.

"Oh, thanks. I'll see you in class."

He gave me a gentle smile we separated to go to our own lockers. And, I know it was a small detail but I noticed how he had changed from calling me Baker, to Ellie. I liked that. Maybe.. I didn't hate Aaron. Maybe he wasn't so annoying? Maybe we could be good friends, just like how Noah and him are good friends. Just like how Ava is laughing with him right now.

Wait. WHAT?

Ava was like the female version of Aaron, smart and good looking.But unfortunately for her, nobody really liked her, because she was a total flirt. Which is fine but she loves flirting taken guys. THAT I'm not fine with. But it's not like Aaron is taken. He's totally open..

I stood there and watched Ava approach Aaron. Batting her long lashes, putting her hands in his hair and looking at him worried like he was the one that was hurt. I mean sure, he did just carry me across the entire campus to get to the nurse but still. Leave him alone..

Although I was quite far away, I could still pick up some of what she was saying. She said things like.

"She was heavy, wasn't she?" "Awwh, you're so caring!"

Which totally pissed me off.

Aaron was pretty polite half of the time. Which was nice..? But he didn't push her away either. He even laughed a little. At her probably stupid jokes. Which, I hate to admit. Stung.

I mean, of course she's there flirting with him. He looks amazing right now. Who wouldn't want some of that? But my god does it ache. But why wasn't he pushing her away? Why was he acting like... all that flirting with me meant nothing? I mean, it's not like it meant anything to me. I just don't hate him anymore but still! I- I'm so confused..

I don't like being like this. Having this tornado of mixed feelings in my head. I can't stand it. But I can't get rid of it either.

I could feel my glare at Ava more and more intense, filled with more jealousy, confusion and anger. To the point where I couldn't control myself anymore. The pain in my knee didn't even matter anymore. I walked straight up and stood right in between the both of them.

Awkward...

I stood there. Eye to eye staring at Ava. And it was clear I had made her uncomfortable with my constant glaring because after a few seconds, she waved Aaron goodbye and ran off. Like she should've minutes ago.

"You okay? Or you still thinking about Steve Harvey?" He teased.

"I'm fine." I said sternly. I wanted to say something sarcastic back, like I usually did but I really wasn't in the mood for that right now. "You guys were pretty lovey dovey back there, weren't you?"

Aaron scoffed. "No.. don't other think it Ellie. She just asked me to go to the movies with her. That's it."

Oh, so we're doing this??

"She was totally hitting on you." I glared back.

"No she wasn't."

"Yes. She was."

"Okay, okay whatever you say. Anyways, I'm gonna go. I'll see ya in class, okay?" He said, closing his locker door shut.

I nodded. And went back to my locker to get a few books before heading to class, not with Aaron this time.

And as I walk into class, what do I see? AVA. Conveniently sat right next to Aaron. IN MY SEAT. Gosh I hate her. Aaron waves at me awkwardly mouthing the words "She won't move." Which makes me giggle. But also fuels my anger.

So I decided to sit right behind them. The only seat that can hear every single word they're saying. I mean, that totally wasn't my intention. But that was the only thing I could really do the entire lesson.

I couldn't help but overthink everything she did, every slight movement, every single word she says.

"You're hilarious Aaron!"

"You actually did all that for her? That's so sweet of you."

"Don't you think we would make a cute couple? Everyone would adore us."

Aaron doesn't seem to be having a problem with this.. How come? I mean, sure, Ava is cute. He is single... but damn it. Can he not at least scoot a little further from her? At this point they might as well just start makin' out.

The longer the conversation went on, the shorter his replies became and the longer Ava's remarks would be. At one point, he laughed as a reply three times in a row.

I really tried to pick up something, ANYTHING that could calm me down. Like Aaron's weird facial expressions, his body language but when you're jealous, you can only pick up on what fuels your worst nightmares.

And it was almost like Ava could sense my intense glare at her because while turning around to look straight at me, she leaned in up close to Aaron

"I could treat you better than most of these girls." Ava whispered.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Where are you goin'? You've been quiet all lesson." Noah questioned.

"Out."

"But you can't just-"

"Sorry. I'm really really not in the mood for this."

I stood up and walked out, furious. Just as I left I caught eye contact with Aaron and Ava. He stared at me, worried. But clearly not worried enough because Ava hand her arm in locks with his and she used her other hand to wave me a little goodbye. Ohhh god I hate her.

After escaping class, the only thing I could think of to do is to go to me and Aaron's battle of the books club. The back of the library.

By this time, the rain had gotten worse. Just like my mood. I sat in the library for who knows how long staring out the window of light that always gave Aaron an amazing shine. At one point, I even fell asleep. I was so tired from the morning I didn't even feel like attending any lessons, my leg still hurt like hell..

"Ellie?" It was that familiar voice again. "You didn't look so great back there." Aaron said, pushing the heavy door open. "Are you... crying?"

I didn't even notice it myself but long before Aaron had even walked in, my face had been streaked with tears. I don't even know why, why was I crying? I shouldn't be crying over him talking to Ava. This is so pathetic..

"Ellie, I-"

"I'm fine. I don't need you to follow me around like some babysitter." I shrug, trying to act nonchalant.

Aaron strides closer to me, squatting down and putting his hand on my back. If he did this to me normally, I'd totally be freaking out inside. But now, I'm not in the mood to react to anything.

"You know you can tell me what's wrong, right?" He hushed.

"Aaron." I snapped before he could mess with my heart any further. "I don't think we should be this close to each other anymore. It's just.. so confusing. For the both of us."

I can tell Aaron's taken aback by this, he pauses for a moment. He was smiling before, thinking I would respond with a sarcastic comment like I used to. But now, I can see that half-smirk on his face drop ever so slightly, making me feel like a monster.

"What..?" He whispered. His voice was full of raw confusion.

And just for a moment, his mouth opens wanting to say something more. Wanting to go back to joking with me. But he swallows, holding something back, words maybe. Or emotions.

He doesn't look away, not even for a second.

God, he looked so sad, so confused, so hurt. I wanted to take everything back, to make it all disappear just so I could bring back his stupid smirk. But I couldn't. This has to end. Now. Because if it didn't end now, I wasn't sure if I could handle falling again.

Aaron's eyes widened, then dimmed like someone had poured a bucket of water over the light inside of them.

He nods slowly, as if he's silently saying "Okay." Even though I know for a fact that he doesn't understand what's going on or what he did wrong.

Aaron finally gets up to walk off but pauses in the doorway- waiting for me to call him back. Like maybe, just maybe I'll say something.

But I don't.

I sigh, laying down on the floor. I did the right thing. Don't look back. He's just a boy. A cute boy with the most gorgeous smile and the most perfect expressive eyes. The only boy who ever gives me butterflies in my stomach. The only boy I've had such strong emotions for so long. Why did he stop in the doorway? Why does it feel like I've just been punched in the stomach? Why does it hurt so bad?