Aaron's perspective 🤍

The classroom feels colder today, or maybe just quieter. Either day, that's how it's felt all week. Just out of instinct I turn to the seat next to me but to my dismay, still no sight of Ellie.. Just like how it's been for days.

Even though I knew it was probably gonna be empty today too some part of me had still hoped that maybe she'd be there, mad at me. Some stupid, stubborn part of me.

Ava was sitting in front of me, she'd been talking to me for the past 10 minutes or so but every single word she said just flew right over my head. I slouched in my chair, waiting for Mrs. Taylor to finally start the lesson. But it's not like I'd listen either. I just really wasn't in the mood for this.

I was too focused on Ellie, too focused on staring at the little pencil marks she'd left on the table, too focused on how nice it was to watch her struggle to answer questions and help her out. And even though it had only been 3 days since Ellie had come to school, it felt like a lifetime without her. An eternity. Especially with the amount of unanswered questions in my head.

God, I miss her.

Soon, lunchtime rolls around and I drag myself to our little reading corner in the back of the library. It's pathetic, how automatic it had become, how robotic I've been- this place was ours. Or at least that's what it felt like for the past few months.

I sit down in my usual corner, picking up a book while having absolutely no intention to read it. The room is quiet, just like how the classroom had been. I hate it. It's unbearable.

The light from the window shines into the room, casting shadows on the floor. Except this time it's only mine.

It still feels wrong being in here, reading by myself, reading without her.

I rest the book I was holding on my lap, staring out the window, eyes unfocused. I don't even know what page I was on, or what the title of the book was. I don't care.

I could feel myself getting more frustrated. Not at her, not at Noah, but at myself.

I should've told her to stay, I shouldn't have been a coward. Although it was the right thing to leave her alone when she wanted to be, I should've at least tried to get her back after. Instead of being a loser and waiting around for her to magically show up.

She should be here, sitting right next to me, staring at me as if I couldn't notice how obvious it was.

It's stupid. Waiting for someone that pushed me away. Hoping she'd show up and tell me she regrets pushing me away without me doing it first. But you know what's the worst part? I'd still wait for her. I'd wait every single freaking day, if I had to. Even if I knew she wouldn't show up.

"That's it." I whispered underneath my breath. "I can't stand this anymore." I muttered again, searching for my phone in my pocket.

I opened my phone and scrolled through my contacts, I didn't have to scroll far though. Although we never called, and barely texted, she was always at the top of my contacts.

I clicked on her name, and onto the text box, my thumb hovered over the keyboard-unsure what to send.

"I love you." I typed. No, that's too creepy.. she won't like it. Would she?

"We need to talk." I typed again. No.. that's not it.

"Fuck it." I whispered under my breath and pressed the call button. We'd never called before, but I didn't feel like being a coward anymore.

The phone only rang once before it got picked up- it was almost like she'd been waiting. "Ellie?" I said, breathless from how nervous I was. "I uh, know your probably mad at me right now. Because of Ava? But uh.. I want to talk. Not here, o-of course." God, why couldn't I stop stuttering?

There was a moment of silence, as if we were both processing everything that had happened between us.

"If you're coming to school tomorrow, we could talk at school. If you're not, we could meet at the lake. If you don't want to meet that's fine too I jus-"

"Aaron." Her voice was steady, like she'd been preparing for this. "I want to see you. Today. I want to talk about.. everything."

The corners of my mouth lifted, she wanted to see me. Ellie Baker wanted to see me.

"Great!" I announced enthusiastically. "Great.." I repeated again. "After school?"

"Yeah. Is the lake okay?" She asked, her voice softening.

"It's perfect."

BEEEPPP. The phone hung up.

I laid down on the floor in relief. Yes! I finally did it. This was it. I could finally tell her everything. I didn't want to hide my feelings anymore.

I love her.