𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐒, 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀

TONY

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'Daddy,' he looked to rear-view mirror on Margo's call, 'can we get cheeseburgers?'

That was a glorious idea. No wonder she's her father's daughter. Something to forget and stop the megatonnage of thoughts that kept slamming into him. He thought the silence would work as a salve from all the wreckage he had walked out of. It had been still in the car back home, so utterly still that he heard the quiet rotors of the car drone within. The radio that was usually switched on had been kept to zero and Mags had not fought with him on that. It was as if she knew her father was upset and it would be wrong to irk him further. 

Everyone was withdrawn, an uneasy quiet to them. He was troubled about what he had told, how much ever he intended every word, he didn't mean for it to hurt anyone. It was a decision he had been sleeping on for a long time and it was time to let the cat out of the bag. What he wasn't expecting was Elle's disapproval.

All the time he had thought this was what Elle would've desired. It bothered him to know that she wasn't supportive of this judgment he made and willing to leave him to do this on his own. Then again, he had left her to defend herself with the world's deadliest people to exist. They were both in a pickle but what had been done, was done. He was grateful that Margo had brought up the alternative, smiling to himself and cutting to the nearest Burger King. 

He nodded. 'Let's do it.'

Tony pulled into the driveway of the food joint, ordering one for each of them and zipping out to the carpark ahead while ignoring the wild stares he was used to. He parked the SUV at an empty spot, away from the cluster of other cars so he could revel in his privacy.

'Wait,' he pulled out of the parking lot, 'I have an idea.'

'No, I want my burger. Give me my—'

'Relax,' he smiled, 'just a little detour surprise for my favourite girl.'

The car sauntered through the deserted roads until a little hill started to appear from the track snaked around the side of the elevation. Tony saw his daughter's face lighten with a smile when the car started to climb through the trail. After several bends up the hill, he veered the vehicle at the nearby foothills. The dirt path that overlooked the view of the little town sprawled ahead, a soft hoot of awe left Margo.

Tony laughed. 'Yeah, you like?'

'It's so pretty.'

Margo had clicked off her seatbelt and joined Tony in the passenger seat, folding legs under her and catching the gut-busting burger from his hands with an enigmatic grin. He watched in amusement as she made a contented noise as the back of her throat at the first bite, falling back into the cushion with a sigh. She spoke with her mouth full and glancing up at him from under her spectacles.

'I love you,' she said. 'So, so, so much.'

'Aw, same, Magpie.'

She groaned again. 'Thank you, Maillard reaction.' She looked at her dad. 'The chemical process behind the meat browning.'

He ruffled her hair. 'Smartass.'

He chuckled, unwrapping his burger and taking a large bite of it. He could almost hear Elle's scolds in his ears at their junk-eating habits, his mood dampening once more. She had been strict about Margo's health ever since her first colic and nothing exasperated her more than Tony's reluctance to follow it. All of them shared a laugh when she broke out into a rant about child obesity and heart diseases. With that accent and her slang all over the place, there was absolutely nothing more endearing that getting an earful from her.

'Is Mommy going to leave us?' Margo asked, looking straight ahead at the escarpment scene. She looked curious; not sad, it worried him a bit.

First off, even if Elle wanted to, he would never let her. Least to say, he would probably hold her captive in his amour and slap her out of it. However poisonous and toxic that sounded, Elle and Tony were different in a sense. He could do the weirdest things around the house or with her and yet, it would seem completely normal. 

'Of course not,' he said with a slow gulp. 

She would never. Elle wasn't the giving up kind. She had values she deemed too important and only he knew the struggle she had to raise this child to the best of her abilities. And it didn't take a genius to know how much they treasured each other regardless of the thousands of compromises and hiccups along the way.

'I have never seen her cry,' she stated quietly, chewing on a fry for a long time. 'She's always so happy.'

'Mags,' he breathed out, rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb feeling the familiar oncoming itch at the corners. 'Not now, okay?'

'But, why was she—'

'I said not now.'

'Fine,' she grumbled, defeated. 'Just so you know, if you let Mommy go, I won't ever talk to you again.'

He looked at her. 'Really?'

Her blue eyes were unyielding. 'Really.'

'You won't leave with her?'

'Why would I? You need me,' she snorted, popping the fry into her mouth. 'I'm your Iron Man.'

I need you. I can't do this alone, Tony. I can't. Even if I did, I wouldn't do it right.

He glanced out the window, thoughtful. 'I do, don't I?'

I just want you to feel safe with me. I know I've done horseshit regarding that until now.

'Yeah,' she nodded. 'You know what Einstein used to say?'

He laughed through his nose, deciding to humour her. 'What?'

'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new,' she stated to Tony's jaw-dropping awe. He expected something stupid, he underestimated his daughter too much. 'So, what's Tony Stark without Iron Man?'

He shrugged playfully. 'I don't know, you tell me.'

'My dad,' she ticked off with her greasy fingers and Tony withheld a laugh, 'Mommy's heart-circle twin. Uncle Rhodey's best friend. But...'

'But?'

'Not Iron Man,' she said simply.

He laughed. 'Seriously?'

'You and him are one,' she said earnestly, the only thing to understand in a child. They always spoke the truth. 'It's like you and Mommy. Or you and me. You can't separate us.'

'Mhmm?'

'See,' she faced him completely to explain her theory. 'You told me that you built him to save your life and protect the world. That means he's already a part of you. So if you leave him, he's like, just a suit.'

'And, what's so wrong about that?'

'You're so dumb, Daddy.'

'Why thank you,' he said dryly. MIT graduate and here he was, getting crushed by a four-year-old about values. His life had taken quite the turn today.

Margo brushed the crumbs off her shorts and stood on the seat, tall enough to look him the eye. Her light eyes were speculative as she spoke as if giving advice. He wanted to laugh.

'If you took Captain America's shield, would that make sense?'

It wouldn't hurt to answer. 'I mean, technically I'd rock it—'

'Come on,' she sighed.

He scrunched his nose. 'Okay, yeah. No.'

'And if he took Iron Man, would that make sense?'

'I assume no.'

'That's it,' she shrugged with the pride of confirming her theory, 'that's the thing about you and Iron Man. You're what makes him special.'

'But, I don't want that,' he said, completely buying into this conversation. 'I want you and Elle to make me feel special. Not Iron Man—not anymore.'

'Don't be silly, dad,' she giggled. 'We do and we will. But, he makes you special-er. He's like, your hero.'

'Iron Man makes me special-er?'

Half the world hated his guts. The other half worshipped him for his assets. Whatever was left from this assemblage were the people he knew who didn't really care much to solve his predicaments. And then there were few who actually stood by him as he worked his ass off for building his suit. He wasn't going to just throw it away, was he? 

Perfecting, tinkering and restoring the Iron Man to protect the world from otherworldly threats had been an addiction. An obsession to do the right thing and do it right, always. Being the futurist he was, he couldn't afford drawbacks. 

He snapped off his seatbelt, to outstretch his arms weakly. Already feeling awkward.

Margo cast it a weird glance. 'What?'

'I just—' he sighed. 'I think I might need a hug.'

With a small grin, his daughter left the seat to fling her arms around him. It was warm, soft and just what he needed. Her head fit into his shoulder like a stuffed bear, squeezing him hard until he laughed.

'You feel better?' She asked. 'I give the best hugs in the world; Uncle Rhodey told me.'

'He's getting more hugs than me?'

She chuckled into his shoulder. 'Obviously not.'

Until new priorities bloomed. He remembered how he'd felt his life flash in front of his eyes when a building came down on Elle and he beat himself for nearly abandoning her at that basement after the EM pulse. Or how he had put Margo in a car accident because of his acts of vengeance from his past. 

His stupid past. The one thing that was keeping him back from being a better father to Margo. He had always conceived of his past as the phoenix metaphor - he would burn only to rise. Well, guess what, he was burning and where the fuck was he rising to this time? Margo was in his arms, the safest place she would be and here he was, holding her without the armour.

The fixation to be so committed to life that he didn't see what he had started to become. He had so much to lose momentarily. He had few of the best things that ever happened to him, put in line and he couldn't stand to lose them. So, he was convinced. What he had done was right. 

It was time for the age of the Iron Man to end. 

∞

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐔, 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀

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In all the years of knowing Eleanor, Tony had never seen her drunk. Tipsy yes, but not drunk off her ass. So when Happy called him, their conversation wasn't all the best of what they had had:

'Is Mags with you?'

'Of course, she—'

'Elle got wasted and I picked her off some street corner.'

Silence. Mortified, speechless silence.

 'Just... keep the kid away, will you?'

'Wasted? Elle?'

'I know what it sounds like. I don't know man, she won't tell me what happened.'

'I know. Thanks anyway, pal.'

'Take care of her, Tones. I'll come around for Mags if you want.'

'No, I—I got this. I got them both.'

That didn't seem like the Elle he knew. And turns out, she was a chaotic sad drunk. He saw her near the piano, she played it whenever, and her hands crawling across the keys like a caress. The notes were sombre, slow and faint. Her dark head ducked low, playing a song he didn't come to recognize. Margo's slow footsteps alerted him, catching the bag over her shoulder before she ran to her mother. Tony did not know what a drunk Elle was capable of or did he know how to handle it. With Margo in the mix, he did not want to think of the heavy outcomes.

'Honey,' he murmured to Margo, Elle's head raising at his whisper. The song stopped playing. 'Why don't you head upstairs first?'

He thanked the lords that the renovations were speedy and the upstairs was all back to normal. Margo was ecstatic to have her room back so there was one last problem out of the way. Margo looked to her mother, gauging the red eyes and the glasses of clear alcohol that sat in front of her. Tear marks were prominent once again when she saw Margo ask.

'Why is Mommy so sad?'

Tony could only give her a rueful smile and usher her to the stairs, trying to keep her away from Elle. Margo was slow to ascend the stairs, her eyes keenly peeled on Elle who watched her as she left. Elle raised her hand to wave at her shakily to which Margo responded and shot upstairs quicker.

He looked to the kitchen where two more emptied bottles of alcohol sat, glasses littering the sides. He swallowed hard, sucking in a breath and approaching Elle in sluggish footfalls. The music continued again, the keynotes were baffling enough to set off a trepidation in him. God, who hurt you, Elle?

Tony had been an alcoholic himself, determined to stay drunk till he died. He had no one to tell him to lay-off and stroke him on the shoulders to tell him he'd enough; he just kept boozing until his body shut itself down. It took the edge off and it helped him forget. He thought it would be easy to leave, just one sip and that wouldn't make him a tippler. The only reason a person turned to cherish this poison was for that sensation—that burn that took away everything for a second. It mattered because it made them lapse.

He knew what it was like. He wasn't going to let Elle, this woman who prided herself in being together, drown in something he had been for a long time. When she reached for the glass that sat over the piano, he placed a hand over hers. She glanced at him, desperate and pleading. The look he was all too familiar to. He willed himself to stay strong for her good.

'That's enough,' he told her. 

She looked away, wrenching her hands back to her chest. He heard it, a soft weep, broken and lost. Like a scared child. He wanted to know what she was so afraid of that she turned to the one thing she vowed she would never delve into.

'Why?' He asked quietly, taking a seat beside her. He didn't think she would answer but she did. Tony looked to the curtain of hair she left to hang around her cheek and hiding her face from him. Stretching out, he pushed it behind her ear and she leaned to the warmth. Her sad, blue eyes met his, nibbling on her trembling lip.

'I want to take it all back, Tony,' she said in a teary whisper.

He stayed silent, listening.

'I'm not a good enough mother,' she blurted, a quiet sob morphing with her words. 'I hurt her—my baby. I h-hurt you so much and I'm so sorry that I didn't stand up for you. I am sorry for so many things.'

'No, you didn't hurt anyone,' he shushed her, wrapping a warm hand around her. 'You could never hurt me.'

She wasn't buying it, the tears falling out faster. He felt a flinch come to him when her mouth gaped open for another weep. This was a breakdown, a lot different from the usual. She would shut herself away instead, not wanting contact but this. This felt like a total collapse. Like she had seen this coming but never was ready for it.

'Ever since she died—I've been—I—I don't deserve a life Margaret didn't have,' she said unto him. 'I don't deserve you. Or this child, or any of this. I'm—I shouldn't be here—I should—'

'Ssh,' he continued to hum. 'Relax.'

Margaret. Of course, there was a reason behind why she had wanted to name Margo that. Because it had been the woman's name. The late friend's name. Elle couldn't finish her sentence, Tony's arms going to support her shaking shoulders and muffle her sobs into his chest. He realized who she was talking about, the woman who had been killed in the hands of Zeke Stane, her ex, all because of her self-indulgence to get what she wanted. Her late best friend who passed away on this day would be here, she thought, if it weren't for her.

Ever since Tony heard of that incident, he understood why Elle had always held herself responsible for everything that happened around her. She put their needs before hers, granting help whenever and wherever necessary. She wouldn't bat an eye before saying yes to everything, what some pulled to be her weakness.

'I did this to us.'

Elle wallowed in a something more than crying, it made him want to rip himself down to the atoms. It was hopeless sobs, soft and cracked of palpable pain. Tony almost felt like she was trusting him with this vulnerability, letting herself go of the trauma and the mask of coping lost. He shushed her, forcing his tongue to the roof of his mouth to hold back his cry at seeing her like this. Just when he had thought that Elle was the toughest person he knew, her defences had washed away and left her exposed.

'I am sorry,' she sniffed, wiping her tears. 'You're right. I should support you,' she said in a breaking voice, 'I should support us. I should be better, I'm not trying hard enough—'

'Elle.'

'I'm not more. He's right—I am not enough,' she shook her head, 'I'm... this.'

He was confused. 'Whos's he?'

'Zeke,' she murmured. 'He was right, Tony. I am not being enough.'

Fucking Zeke. Even after rotting in the deepest depths of the Pacific, he was being a pain in the ass. His very name being invoked was curdling his blood, making him take in a calming breath for Elle's sake.

'Hey,' he said softly, 'honey. Look at me.'

Elle's eyes were still wet with tears when she did. He held her jaw, forcing a stern expression on his face. He realized how much Margo had taken her mother's features—from the nose to the eyes to the lips. She'd grow to be her twin.

'You're enough,' Tony muttered firmly. 'You're more than enough. You always keep —why do you blame yourself for everything bad that happens?'

That was it. That was what he wanted to say ever since they broke into arguments. She was fierce in making things reasonable, somehow blaming herself for everything that went awry. Like a vague sense of paranoia to everything wrong that befell, it was automatically Elle's fault. He wanted to know why.

'It's me,' she hissed out airily, 'you would still want to be Iron Man if I didn't meet you.'

He rubbed his eyes in weariness, his heart sinking. 'Jesus fucking Christ, Ellie.'

'You'd still be out there, saving the world and living your life,' she continued anyway. 'I'm tying you down when you should be doing whatever you used to do. I don't want to change you, Tony, I—'

'A drunken, chaotic horndog. That's what I was,' he said back in air of sarcasm. 'Oh yeah, love to go back to that.'

She blinked. 'No, that's not...'

'Uh-huh, what did you mean?' She leaned back at his outburst, blinking at the raised tone. He slumped into himself, shaking his head. 'Sometimes, I can't get a read on you and sometimes, as much as it is sexy, it drives me insane.'

She looked away.

'Do you realize that there is a living and breathing, pot of sunshine upstairs right now because of you? She's here because you chose to keep her. Me? I'm with you because you chose to take that step forward with me. It's all about choices, babe. And you decided right,' he showed his hands in a done gesture, 'that's all that matters.'

She was quiet for the longest time before she spoke. 'But, I—'

'Hubbub,' he palmed her mouth, 'no buts. You made me believe in a steady life, you hear me? I have a family because of you. You made me a father, goddamnit—something I never thought I would come to love. More than that, I'm a husband to the most together, selfless and radical woman I know. If you, for even one iota, think that you're not a good enough mother for Margo, you're the world's biggest idiot.'

She gritted her teeth. 

'I am not even sorry,' he added. 'You've got snap out of it, hon. Wake up and smell the roses. This,' he pointed to the liquor bottle over the lid of the piano, 'is only gonna hold you back. I speak from experience. So either you pick up your damn self and be the woman I met all those years ago. Ready to take that chance.'

'...at sleeping with you?'

'Honey, it's me,' he sighed. 'It'll eventually make sense.'

Elle half-laughed, looking up at him like every man wanted to be looked at. Like he was the only thing in the world. He felt his insides expand to a size he didn't know existed, her fingers tracing the line of his facial hair.

'I don't deserve you at all,' she said. Tony shrugged in response, smirking at her.

'Nobody does, I'm too expensive.'

He lugged her up, holding her by the waist as he let her stumble down the stairs. He latched a supportive hand as she drunkenly wobbled on her legs, twirling to lock her hands around his neck. Tony decided to pay her a bit more of respect.

'But on a more serious note, I don't deserve you either. That cancels out the equation and so now, we deserve each other.'

'I love you,' she hummed.

Laughing, he said, 'Yeah, you do.'

He escorted her up the spiralling stairs to the bedroom slowly. It was like teaching Bambi how to walk, her knees giving out on her randomly and giggling. He had never heard Elle giggle and it was the most adorable thing in the world.

'I think I should take off my shirt,' she said abruptly and Tony caught her wrist with wide eyes. She was grinning, using her free hand to pop open a button on her shirt and he gulped. 'You don't like it?'

Oh, whatever. 'What?'

'I'm wearing your favourite,' she teased, popping open another button.

'You know what? Sure. You're wasted,' he mused to himself, 'you won't remember a thing in the morning.'

'Actually, I have exceptional retention,' she quipped, taking off her shirt and getting him hot for a good second at the side of her newly revealed, velveteen skin underneath. A tight-lipped frown marred his face as she slipped the shirt over his shoulder.

'Best sex in the house, baby,' she tantalised, her tone a low whisper. He shut his eyes in vain at her very magical answer. Taking her shirt, she corded it around his neck and tugged him closer to let her red lips hover over his. Her blue eyes were filled with mischief and well, alcoholic buzz. It was his immediate instinct to lean in.

'Sleep, first.'

'Mm, I don't think you want me to, Stark. I think you really want to see what at's the end of these stockings,' she whispered with a look of temptation. Her lips lightly brushed his with a tease and he pulled back with a nervous chuckle. Forcing himself not to look below the neck, he spoke softly.

'Oh no,' he said. 'I think I do.'

'You do!'

'No, I—ugh. What's the point?'

'Tony,' she whispered, tugging on the ends of her skirt again. 'I want you to push me against this wall and take me.'

'Jesus, Elle,' he subtly looked to the ceiling for help knowing nothing was going to save him tonight. She laughed lowly which morphed into a hum, biting her lip to contain a smile. Her teasing fingers reached to the collars of his own shirt and popped open a button. He grabbed her hands.

'I swear to god, you're gonna regret this in the morning.'

'Gonna,' she mimicked his slang and wrenched her hands away to pop open another button, 'gonna what, lover? Gonna touch me here? Or under here?'

She laughed, kissing the edge of his jaw with a soft graze of her lips. Her fingers dragged up his hair just the way he liked it and found it hard to deny any further. He flattened his lips into his teeth when her lips reached his cheek and the edge of his lips. 

It was a gradual want for more, the woodsy scent of brandy rolling off her with her every move closer. She had drunk so much that the mere breaths from her were getting him high. He didn't realize her hands inching south, laying it over the place she wanted and Tony gulped hard when she squeezed it.

'Holy shi—'

Just before he could tell Elle off, her lips had knocked the wind from his lungs and steeping in passion. The kiss couldn't get any more sexual when she moaned into him, loud enough to alert anyone in a five-metre radius. She giggled when he sloped back, grazing her fingers into his scalp. Rolling his eyes, he held her head in his hands and pulled her in for a warm kiss, his hand roaming every crevasse he had memorized in her body. She was perfect, fit into him like a puzzle piece, venturing further into him as she laughed softly into his mouth. 

'Fine, okay,' he murmured with want, 'wall. Great. Now.'

∞

[ to all those confused, look, this was Elle's breaking point. she's showcasing the vulnerability she had tied in for SO mfing long and letting herself show behind the mask. thanks for reading! ] 

edited!