S O P H I A H O N E Y

NOTE TO SELF -Never accept weird drinks from Blair.

"You guys are overreacting," Blair scoffs, rolling her eyes as Alex and I practically lunge at her. "It wasn't that bad, right?"

"I could kill you, Blair," Alex rasps, rubbing her chest as if it'll help calm her down. "How are you not affected?"

Instead of answering, I pull out my phone and show her the message I sent Theo while supposedly drunk.

Alex reads it. Her face contorts. "Oh, shit. That's bad." Then, she coughs again before letting out a wheezy laugh. "I would die if I sent that to a guy I knew and wasn't planning on sleeping with him."

I already feel like dying right this moment.

"Wait! Let me see!" Blair snatches my phone before I can react. Her eyes skim the screen, and a wicked grin spreads across her face. "Damn, Soph. You're that thirsty for him, huh?"

I groan, snatching my phone back and resisting the urge to throw myself off the nearest ledge.

Really? I had to go all desperate for him right after he won the game?

"Cheer up, Soph." Blair tugs at a strand of my hair. "It's not that bad."

I shoot her a hard glare. "Oh, so telling a guy how hot he looked playing and asking if I could touch his biceps while we're alone isn't bad?"

She opens her mouth, then clamps it shut.

Right. If this situation is enough to shut Blair up, then I'm absolutely screwed.

"I really want to hate you, Blair," I mutter as frustration builds in my chest. "Why the hell did you give us that?!" My voice rises before I bite my lip, remembering where we are.

Tory had made us stay behind to organize all the photos and interviews taken by sponsors. After Ridgeview Titans' win, brands had been swarming in, looking to uplift the school, and Tory was over the moon about it-her project was practically writing itself.

Lucky her. Unlike me.

Blair's face softens. "I'm really sorry, Soph." She actually looks remorseful. "I didn't think the drink would mess with you that bad."

I sigh. I can't fully blame her. Sure, she's part of the problem, but she didn't physically force me to text Theo like a desperate fangirl. That was all me.

And now, it's too late. The message is marked seen. No reply.

Maybe he thinks it's weird.

No, he can't-not when he literally seduced me in the kitchen the other day, talking like I was already halfway to giving in. He was the one pushing, teasing, baiting me into this mess.

So why is he silent now?

"It's fine," I exhale, trying to push the thought away. "I'm the one who texted him, so I have to deal with it."

Blair pouts. "I feel bad. I know how much you hate him."

Hate him? Yeah, my body's definitely not on the same page these days.

"But don't worry, I'll tell him it was a prank. That I dared you to do it." Blair suggests happily and Alex nods in agreement.

"Good idea," Alex says, looking like she's finally recovered. "Besides, he'll believe it. You obviously have no interest in him."

Oh, if only you knew.

If only I could tell you guys about the dreams. The kinds of dreams that shouldn't exist. The ones that leave me sweating, twisting in my sheets-

I clear my throat, shoving the thought way down. "Yeah. That works. You can tell him when you-"

"You guys are still here?" Tory's voice cuts through as she spots us near the rink entrance.

"Uh, yeah?" Alex says. "You told us to wait."

Tory frowns, then her eyes widen. "Oh shit. Didn't you get the message? I sent one in the group chat-said you guys could go to the celebratory party. We'll deal with the reports on Monday."

"Seriously?" Blair groans, pulling out her phone. "I could be making out with some hot guy right now! Let's go!" She grabs my arm and starts yanking me toward the exit.

"Calm your horny ass, Blair," Alex mutters, pulling free. "Unless you're paying for my ride, because I'm broke as hell."

"Not a problem," Tory chimes in. "Logan and Lydia are still here, and some of the guys from the team. They can drop us off."

Blair lights up. "See? Problem solved! Now let's move."

We step outside, and the night air hits us. Just hours ago, the parking lot was packed-now, it's practically deserted, save for a few scattered cars.

Ahead, we spot three cars still parked.

"Jaxon!" Tory calls out. He's leaning against his car, a girl wrapped around him. His arm stays draped over her shoulder as he looks up, flashing a grin.

"Oh, hey." His gaze shifts to Alex, and his smile immediately fades.

"Where's Logan and Lydia?" Tory asks.

Before Jaxon can answer, the car in front of us rocks suspiciously.

Jaxon smirks. "They're... busy. If you can't tell."

"Gross," Tory mutters. Blair giggles.

"Told you they were the freaky couple," Blair whispers to me and Alex. I shoot her a look to keep quiet, but then I notice Alex, unusually silent, her gaze locked on the girl with Jaxon.

Tory, oblivious, eyes Jaxon. "Lemme guess-you were about to get busy too?"

Jaxon shrugs. "Maybe. I don't know. And if I was, it wouldn't be here. I like my privacy too much."

Alex snorts.

Jaxon's gaze snaps to her. "What was that?" His voice lowers. "Got something to say, hmm?"

Alex ignores him and turns to Tory instead. "I'm not getting in his car. Is there any other one I can take? Aside from his or Logan's?"

"Theo's here," Jaxon says, jerking his head toward a car behind us. I hadn't even noticed it until now.

Then where is he?

If Jaxon and Logan are off with their girls, does that mean Theo's... busy too?

The thought doesn't sit right in my chest, though it should. They won the game. Of course, girls would be all over them, throwing themselves at him.

He's done it before.

I shouldn't care.

I shouldn't care-

"Yo, Theo!" Jaxon suddenly calls out, snapping me out of my thoughts. My head whips around just in time to see Theo stepping out from a doorway.

Alone.

I half-expect a girl to follow, but no one does. It's just him, a sports bag slung over his shoulder, walking toward us like he wasn't just the center of my overthinking.

He steps forward, and under the glow of the night lights, I see him more clearly. It's as if the moment I admitted to myself that I'm actually attracted to him, my brain decided to make me notice every little thing about him.

Like the way his eyes catch the light just right, gleaming against the sharp angles of his face.

I never gave two shits about his appearance before. But now? Now, I feel parched-like if I don't get to touch him, even just a little, I might lose my mind.

"Yeah," he says, his voice flat as he glances at Jaxon.
There's something off in his expression-dull, tired. That's weird. He should be on top of the world right now. He's been killing himself at practice, pushing harder than anyone, and he won.

He should be smug. He should be asking if I saw him out there, if he looked good. And I should be rolling my eyes and pretending not to care. That's how we do things. That's how we've always done things.

But now... now I want to ask if he's okay.

I almost do. But then I remember the last time I tried, how badly that went.

"Oh, hey, Theo." Tory's voice cuts in, pulling his attention. "Would it be cool if you dropped me and the girls at the party?"

Theo drags his gaze over each of us, then nods. "Yeah. Get in."

He moves toward the driver's seat, hand on the door, then glances back. "Soph, front seat."

And just like that, my brain stops functioning.

"Fuck. That was hot," Blair whispers beside me, and I can't even argue.

It was fucking hot.

He opens the passenger door from his side, and I slide into the passenger seat, trying to breathe, trying to get my pulse under control.

He doesn't look at me as he settles in, tilting his head back against the seat for a second before gripping the wheel, fingers flexing. He pulls out smoothly, one hand resting on his thigh, the other loose on the wheel, veins prominent, his fingers tapping idly.

I watch how he tightens his hold on the wheel once more and I almost gulp.

Lucky fucking wheel.

What is wrong with me?

I force myself to look away, to stare at my hands in my lap, but it doesn't help. My body is buzzing, my stomach tight, heat crawling up my spine. The girls are right behind me, completely unaware that I am fighting a very real, very inappropriate urge to climb onto Theo's lap right this second.

I'm so screwed.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I rip my gaze away and clasp my hands together, trying to focus on anything else-literally anything other than how much I want Theo to just... wreck me right now.

Hopeless. I am absolutely hopeless.

The silence stretches between us, filled only by the quiet hum of the radio and Blair softly singing along. Normally, Theo would have said something by now. Teased me. Pushed my buttons. Maybe even mentioned what I texted him earlier.

But he doesn't.

I glance over, my heart squeezing. His face is unreadable, his grip tight on the wheel. He looks beautiful, but something is wrong.

I feel it in my gut.

But how do I ask when I know he'll just brush me off?

"We're here."

His voice is low, rough, pulling me back to reality. He spares me a quick glance before shifting his attention to the girls.

"Oh, thanks." Tory grins, and the others murmur their thanks as well.

I swallow. "Uh... thanks."

The words come out softer than I meant, and I hate it. I'm used to shouting at Theo, used to bickering, used to pushing back. But now I just feel... shy?

His eyes flick to mine again. "No problem, Soph."

It's subtle-barely there-but I catch it. The way his eyes soften for just a second when he says my name.

And then it's gone.

But that split-second is enough. Enough to know something's off.

Is he okay?

"Soph, let's go!" Alex's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

I blink, realizing I'm still sitting there, watching Theo like I can somehow figure out what's going on inside his head. With a quick exhale, I climb out and shut the door.

Theo doesn't wait. He pulls away, heading toward the other side of the lot, probably to park.

I should just let it go.

I should focus on the night, on the party, on anything else.

"Let's get fucked!" Blair shouts, throwing her arms up, and Tory giggles beside her.

"Yeah, you guys have fun," Tory says, already making her way toward a house packed with people. That must be where the party is.

We wave her off, but before I can even process what's happening, Blair's tugging at my jacket.

"Umm, Blair!" I yelp, glancing around to make sure no one's watching as she yanks it off me.

She takes a step back, gives me a once-over, then reaches up to untie my ponytail, shaking my hair out with a smirk.

"Now you look like someone who needs a dick in them."

"What?!" I choke, coughing so hard my throat burns. "Blair, we've talked about this! I'm fine without-"

"Stop lying to yourself and get inside." She loops an arm through mine, dragging me and Alex toward the house.

And if I didn't hear the pounding bass before, I sure as hell do now.

The bass rattles through my ribs the second we step inside. The air is thick with heat, sweat, and cheap liquor, and the scent of beer mixed with way too much cologne hits me all at once.

Blair's already scanning the room, eyes flicking over every guy in sight. "Okay, we need shots, and you"-she points at me-"need to loosen the hell up."

"I'm loose," I argue, rolling my shoulders as we weave through the crowd.

She snorts. "Babe, you're one deep breath away from a full-blown meltdown. I can feel the tension in your aura."

Alex grins, nudging my side. "She's right, Soph. We're here to have fun, remember?"

I do remember. I also remember how my stomach twisted when Theo drove away.

Blair drags us toward the makeshift bar in the kitchen, and a guy in a backwards cap grins at us. "What'll it be, ladies?"

"Three shots of tequila," Blair says without hesitation.

I hesitate. "Maybe I'll just-"

Blair cuts me a glare so sharp I actually flinch. "Sophia."

I groan. "Fine. One shot."

She beams as the guy lines up three tiny glasses and pours. The moment the tequila's in front of us, Blair lifts hers high. "To making bad decisions!"

Alex clinks her glass against Blair's. "To getting Soph out of her head!"

They both turn to me, waiting.

I huff out a laugh, picking up my shot. "To-" Theo's face flashes in my mind. The way he looked when he said my name. The way his fingers tapped against his thigh, restless, tense.

I shake my head. "To not thinking too hard about anything."

They cheer, and we throw back the shots. The burn scorches my throat, and I cough, grimacing. "God, why do people drink this?"

Blair laughs. "Because it makes things interesting."

And just like that, she's pulling us into the crowd, into the pulse of the music, into the blur of bodies moving in sync.

I try to let go. To get lost in it. To let the alcohol numb the part of me still wondering if Theo's okay.

But no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong with Theo.

I can feel the beat in my chest, my body moving on its own, free, untamed. Lydia and Logan are off to the side, dancing close-Logan barely moving, hands resting on Lydia's hips as she grinds against him like she owns him. Given the way he was limping after the game, I'm surprised he had it in him to hook up in his car. But hey, his life, his choices.

I throw my head back, letting the tequila work its magic, feeling lighter than I have all night. The tension in my chest loosens. I let myself go, moving to the beat, hips swaying, hair sticking to my damp skin.

Blair pulls me into the rhythm, spinning me around in a wild, dizzying whirl. Before I can catch my bearings, I bump into someone.

"Oh, sorry about that!" I shout, trying to apologize over the music, but he doesn't seem to care. The guy just grins and pulls me into his dance, not getting the hint at all.

He grins, clearly not catching the hint that it was an accident. Before I can move away, he's dancing with me, hands reaching, body inching closer.

It's just one shot of tequila, but my head feels light, my limbs buzzing. So I go with it. Just for a little while. I dance without thinking, without caring how I look or if my dress is riding up or if my chest is rising too fast with each breath. I just move.

But then the guy steps in closer, closing the space. I try to shift back, but the bodies behind me press in, trapping me.

His hands skim my waist, his fingers pressing in just a little too much. I twist, nudging him off, but he doesn't get the message.

"You're really pretty," he murmurs against my ear, his breath hot against my skin. "Wanna go ups-"

He doesn't get to finish.

A force slams into him from the side, sending him stumbling back.

My body jerks slightly from the force of it, and before I can react, another hand is on my waist. But this one-this one doesn't feel the same. It's firm, familiar, possessive. And then I'm being spun around effortlessly, coming face to face with a pair of burning, angry eyes.

Theo Gray.

I swallow. Hard.

"Theo..." His name barely leaves my lips before he lets go of my waist, replacing it with a firm grip on my wrist.

I don't even have time to process what's happening. He's already moving, pulling me through the crowd, his grip just tight enough to make sure I follow. The room is packed-Blair and Alex won't even notice I'm gone.

Theo doesn't stop until we're in a room, the door shutting with a solid thud behind us. And then, in one fluid motion, he pushes me back against it, caging me in.

His breathing is heavy, his chest rising and falling like he's barely holding something back. His jaw clenches, his hands flex at his sides.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snap, anger and confusion bubbling to the surface, even though a part of me is relieved he pulled me away. His gaze-intense, burning-feels like it's stripping me bare.

He doesn't flinch. Doesn't move. His gaze drags over me, slow, intense, like he's seeing me for the first time-or like he can't stand what he's seeing at all.

I hate that I like it.

His jaw tightens, and for a moment, I see something else flicker in his eyes-something raw. Something almost... hurt.

"Hey." My anger evaporates into thin air the moment I look at Theo. "Is everything okay?" His eyes, dark and filled with something I can't quite read, are locked on mine. It's as if everything he's feeling is laid bare, and I'm suddenly unsure of how to react.

"I..." He starts to speak, but his words falter, swallowed by the weight of whatever's on his mind.

"What?" I reach out instinctively, my fingers brushing the side of his face. His skin is warm, so warm, and I feel the slightest pressure as he leans into the touch. His eyes close for a split second, almost like he's savoring it, and my heart stutters.

"Come on, talk to me." My voice is softer now, coaxing him, willing him to open up.

He looks so tired, like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and there's a war raging in his eyes-something deeply conflicted. What's going on inside his head? Did something happen before the game?

"It's nothing," he finally mutters, a sigh slipping past his lips, but I can tell it's a lie. He pushes away from me, and it hits me harder than it should. His distance feels like rejection, and I don't know why that stings so much.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-oh God, what's wrong with me?" He runs a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the way his fingers tug at the strands. He starts to step back, but I'm not ready to let him go yet.

"No, it's okay," I say quickly, taking a step forward, my heart racing in my chest.

He shakes his head, the motion so sharp it almost seems like he's fighting himself. "No, it's not. I literally ruined your time with that guy."

I frown, confused. "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did." His voice is firm now, his expression serious, almost like he's punishing himself. "I shouldn't have done that."

I roll my eyes, exasperated, though I'm still not sure if I'm annoyed or just trying to deflect the heaviness between us. "I said it was nothing."

But Theo isn't done. His eyes lock onto mine, and I see something raw in them-vulnerability, desperation, and something else.

"I don't mean that," he says, his voice lower now, like he's trying to get the words out but struggling with them. "I shouldn't be wanting you this badly."

My lips part, then close again. I'm speechless.

We've been caught in this frustrating back-and-forth for so long-stolen glances, fleeting touches, the ghost of his lips barely brushing my skin. But now, hearing him say it outright, just like that?

It knocks the breath out of me.

"Just forget what I said," he mutters suddenly, his voice tight, and I blink in disbelief.

"What?"

He presses his lips together, avoiding my gaze. He doesn't mean it. I can see it in the way his fingers curl into fists, the tension in his jaw, the way he refuses to meet my eyes. But instead of saying anything else, he turns and walks out.

Oh, hell no. He is not pulling this shit on me.

I throw the door open, shoving past bodies, searching for him in the crowded room. My pulse pounds in my ears, frustration burning beneath my skin. It's hard to find him, but then I spot him near the entrance, heading straight for the door.

"Theo!" I call, pushing forward, but he doesn't even flinch. He just keeps walking.

This isn't like him. He's shutting down-breaking down-and I hate it.

I hate that I can't move fast enough, that I'm not strong enough to reach him before he slips away.

By the time I catch up, he's at his car. He yanks the door open, slides inside, and is about to slam it shut when I grab the handle and wrench it back open.

His eyes widen, shock flickering across his face for a split second. Yeah, he didn't expect me to be this fast.

He thinks he's stubborn? Oh, he has no idea who he's dealing with.

"Soph, move," he orders, his voice low, controlled, but I hear the exhaustion underneath it.

"No." I plant my feet. "Not until you tell me what the hell is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong-"

"Stop fucking lying!" My voice rises, raw with frustration. "You've been acting weird, weirder than usual, and it's pissing me off."

"I'm not acting any way," he snaps, but there's a crack in his voice, just enough for me to catch it.

I groan, squeezing my eyes shut for a second before opening them again. "Why are you so damn stubborn? Just tell me and-"

"And what?" His voice cuts through the night, sharp and bitter, his gaze burning into mine. "You think you can fix this? You think anyone can fix this?"

The air between us goes still. My breath catches.

He exhales, running a hand through his hair, and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet but edged with something raw.

"No one can fix this, Soph. No one."

My chest tightens, because I don't know what this is, but I know it's eating him alive.

Before I can say anything, he yanks the keys from the ignition, pushes the door open, and steps out.

"You know what?" He gestures toward the car. "Take it. I'll walk."

Then he turns and starts down the street, leaving me standing there, gripping the door handle, my heart pounding.

I slam the car door shut with more force than necessary and take off after him.

Theo's strides are long, determined, but I push forward, weaving through the few people lingering outside, my heart hammering.

I won't let him walk away from me. Not this time.

I cut in front of him, stopping dead in his path. He jerks back slightly, scowling, but I plant my feet, refusing to move.

"Tell me what's wrong," I demand, my breath coming fast.

His jaw tightens. "You don't need to know."

He steps to the side, trying to go around me, but I mirror his movements, blocking him again.

His nostrils flare. He tries the other side. I do the same.

Theo exhales sharply through his nose, his hands balling into fists. "Soph," he warns.

I don't move.

His head tilts back for a second like he's praying for patience, then suddenly, his shoulders snap tight, and he growls, "What do you want from me, woman?"

"I want to know how you're feeling." My voice is firm, unwavering. "Tell me what you're feeling this minute."

His breath is ragged, his chest rising and falling hard. His hands flex at his sides, like he's restraining himself from grabbing something-grabbing me.

His gaze locks onto mine, dark and burning. I hold it, not giving him an inch.

Seconds tick by. The tension between us coils so thick it's suffocating.

Then his lips part, and his voice comes out low, wrecked.

"You want to know how I feel?" His eyes flick between mine, wild and desperate. "I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind."

His words spill out in a raw, unfiltered mess, and for the first time, I see him-really see him-without the forced confidence, without the smirk, without the shield he always carries around like armor.

"I can't stop feeling like this." His voice is rough, almost desperate. "Like I'm constantly wrecked, frustrated-like no matter what I do, it's never enough."

He exhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm so fucking tired, Soph. Tired of smiling when all I want to do is scream. Tired of pretending everything's fine when inside, I feel like I'm drowning." His jaw clenches, his breathing uneven. "I should be enjoying this. I should be living the dream. But I don't feel happy-I don't feel anything except this...this hopelessness I can't shake."

I don't say anything. I just watch him-watch him break.

I never knew he felt this choked up. Never knew the weight he's been carrying, pressing so hard against him that he's cracking right in front of me.

"Theo," I whisper, his name soft on my lips.

His eyes snap to mine, and for the first time, they aren't filled with anger or stubbornness. They're just red-not from rage, but from holding back something deeper, something raw and aching.

"Yeah," he mutters, his voice barely there.

I step closer, hesitating for half a second. "Do you, um...do you need a hug?"

He doesn't say anything. Just stares at me, quiet and unreadable. And for a moment, I feel so dumb for asking.

I shift on my feet, suddenly self-conscious. "Sorry, I'm not good with things like this," I mumble, looking down. "I just-I was wondering if I could help with that, at least-"

"Yes."

The word is barely out before I feel him move.

"Please."

Then suddenly, his arms are around me, pulling me against him with so much force it knocks the breath out of me. His face buries into my neck, his body pressing into mine like he needs this-needs me-to stay upright.

I don't hesitate. I wrap my arms around him, holding tight, feeling the way his entire frame shakes against mine.

And in that moment, I don't care about the party, or the people, or the fact that we shouldn't be doing this.

All I care about is the way Theo Gray is finally letting himself fall.

And I'm right here, catching him.

A gust of wind rushes past us, and I shiver before I can stop myself. Theo must feel it too because he immediately pulls back, his brows furrowing.

"You're cold," he states, his voice softer now, more observant.

I shrug, offering a small smile. "I'm okay. Was the hug... okay?"

He shakes his head, and I almost laugh at how much he looks like a sulking child.

I chuckle lightly, nudging him with my elbow. "Oh, um, we could order something when we get home. Food always cheers me up."

He shakes his head again, but this time there's something different in his expression. "I still want to hug," he admits. Then, before I can respond, he grabs my hand and starts leading me back to his car.

I follow, heart pounding, letting him guide me. When we reach the car, he opens the door, sliding into the driver's seat. I move to sit beside him, but before I can, he tugs my hand, holding it tightly.

I blink down at him. He's staring hard now, his jaw set, his expression unreadable.

"I want a hug," he says, but there's something deliberate about the way he says it this time.

"Okay?" I tilt my head, confused by the sudden intensity in his gaze.

"I want a hug now," he repeats, voice lower, more certain. "How much for the hug?"

I blink, caught off guard. "Theo," I mumble, trying to pull my hand free, but he only grips it tighter.

"You can't pay someone to hug you," I tell him, exasperated. "I wanted to hug you anyway."

"We hugged standing..." His voice trails off, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. "But I want to hug you while sitting down."

I swallow, feeling the air shift between us.

"I want us to face each other while we hug as I'm sitting down on the seat."

"B-but." I stammer. "The only way to do that is if I..."

"If you sit on me." He nods and swallows slowly. "I want you to sit on me Soph. Can you do that please?"