Three days later

I paced in my office. I was utterly and totally frazzled and confused. There was nothing about what I was feeling and dealing with that was okay in my mind. I felt like I was going crazy. There was a something in me that heated the blood in my veins and scratched at the inside of my skin. It was almost enough to drive me crazy. It pushed and pulled me, no matter where I went it continually tugged me towards that male.

I found myself in front of the window, peering out onto the lawn where Arlo and Ollie were running routines before I let out a groan. This was what I was talking about. That thing inside of me drew me towards Arlo. No matter where I was or what I was doing, if Arlo was on the territory I would find myself looking for him. An undeniable urge to be where he was. I quickly moved away from the window, putting space between me and it.

I needed to gain some semblance of control over myself. It was just hard because if I even senses his presence my wolf would immediately start pushing me towards him and then that thing would start its motions, the slow heating of my blood, the slowly moving force that drew me towards the male regardless of where I was or what I had been doing previously. It was fucking maddening.

I had no idea how to deal with anything I was going through. I hadn't been given any sort of talk about what happened between shifters with a bond or anything. I had always hated that fact, even more so now that I was dealing with it personally. I really wished I would have had some sort of knowledge of things that went on dring a bond. I was aware I had one with Arlo, my denial of it was due to the anger and the fact I had literally felt nothing for him but now that it was more than distracting I couldn't deny it was there.

I paced back and forth, trying to keep myself as far from the window as possible. I don't even know why or how Arlo and Ollie had started running routines but for some stupid reason they had both removed their shirts as they grappled. Well, as Arlo tried to show Ollie the grapples. Ollie was still very much a novice in that department and I appreciated the added help he was getting.

I brought my hand to my mouth, biting my thumb nail as I paced back and forth again and again. I had hoped to have whatever was going on inside my head sorted out by now but that seemed almost impossible. Any time I spent near Arlo seemed to tangle everything up just that much more. Everything he did was amplified to me, his scent, his looks, his actions. I always found myself watching him, even if it was just a glimpse it made me feel content, it settled something inside of me.

I swallowed hard as I rubbed my bare foot across the large area rug, tracing a pattern with my toe. He was a good male, the memories had shown me as much but watching him with Madeline I had seen a side of him that Maggie never had. I saw a father completely and totally smitten with his little girl. I saw him let her paint his nails before he would paint hers. I saw him do her hair or have tea parties with her. He wasn't a small male, he wasn't Ollie's size and he came from a terribly oppressive culture but he would hunch his broad form down so he could fit at the tea table for Madeline's parties. His knees would nearly be at his chin but he never had anything but a smile on his face.

I didn't understand it, didn't understand him. How could someone come from a place that was so cruel and oppressive and be like he was? How could someone push through the things they had learned their entire lives to lift up someone they had been taught was weaker, was wrong, was unworthy of time? I didn't understand it but Arlo had. He had left it behind to give Madeline a life that Maggie would be proud of. He never once told Madeline she couldn't succeed, he continually reminded her that she was a strong female, a good one. He told her again an again that she could be whatever she wished to be.

I appreciated that. I truly did. Madeline was going to be an Alpha. There was no doubts about that in my mind, so having her father figure tell her continually that her gender meant nothing within success made me heart ache almost. It was something my father and my uncle had told me again and again when I would lie on the ground, spent and exhausted from training, and say I was female and not an Alpha.

That is no excuse, Sorrel. There is no gender requirement to be an Alpha. All it needs guts and blood, you have both. So get your ass off the ground and show me that Alpha blood you have in your veins.

Without fail I would push myself up to my feet and push on. Their words were my drive forward. They had taught me that I needed to be strong, that I could be what I needed to be. I was so thankful that Maddy had someone like that for her. She came from such a dark place, a place that was no built of love or caring. She was the result of something so horrendous, she was the light in the darkness. That little piece of piercing moonlight in the darkness that had swallowed Magdalene whole.

I loved her so much. I hadn't thought there could ever be someone I loved more than Maggie but Madeline had somehow surpassed it all. With those memories gone from my mind, with that piece of soul taken away, I had the ability to recognize just how utterly important she was to me. I had questioned Andrew's decision to drop the pack onto me a hundred thousand times. I had never made any sense of why, until I looked at her in the moment she came from the kitchen the day I woke up.

This pack was never mine because it had always been hers. I had struggled to hold the pack together, struggled to be a part of it, to settle myself into a position that felt so strange for me and I had realized in that one instant as I had dropped to my knees and held my arms open for her. Veritas was never meant for me, Andrew hadn't been giving it to me, he had been giving it to her.

In that moment I realized that I was protecting a legacy, not running a pack. Veritas was under my leadership but it was only ever temporary. I would build the pack up, not for me but for her. I would give her a pack she would be proud to lead. I didn't truly know who to be a mother but I know how to build up a pack. I would create her the best possible legacy I could for her. She was an Alpha and she needed a pack. I was more than willing to pass the torch to her when she came of age.

When my hand absently brushed the heavy curtain away from the window slightly, I froze. I bit back a groan and sighed. I wasn't getting anywhere with ignoring what was going on. My eyes immediately found Arlo, as if there had been a magnetic pull straight for him. I scanned his form, watching as his showed Ollie a carefully crafted take down. His muscles rolled under tan skin and I could see the faint sheen of sweat on it that caught a bit of the sunlight.

I absently continued to chew on my nail as I watched him. I wasn't quite sure why but I had never actually looked at him before. Arlo was a very well crafted male. He was, there was no arguing that. His form was cut like it had been carved from marble. It was enough to continually draw my attention again and again. It was either that or his eyes. They were always a soft brown and it was very, very hard for me not to imagine those eyes in the bedroom. A small shiver ran down my spine at the thought as my wolf snapped her teeth in eager anticipation.

"What are you looking at?" At the loudly said words right by my ear I jumped with an undignified squeak, nearly falling over as I attempted to close the curtains. My face flared bright red and I whirled around on the intruder. Linnette smiled at me, her grin looking less friendly and more 'cat that ate the canary'.

I felt the blush on my face deepen and I shook my head quickly. "Nothing." It came out far too quickly and clipped that even I could hear the blatancy of the lie.

Linnette's smirking smile deepened as she casually pushed back a curtain and looked out the window. "I wonder what it was..." She made a small and poorly convincing hum of questioning before she taped her mouth with a finger. "I doubt it was those two gorgeous males doing training routines in the front yard. My Alpha would never ogle." She raised an eyebrow in my direction and my face flared even hotter.

"Shut up!" I hissed the words at her. She did not need to be teasing me about any of this.

"What?" She batted her eyelashes at me in a rather innocent fashion. "I am just saying my Alpha isn't one to stand at a window for several minutes ogling a male she has been desperate to avoid for the past few days but has been failing miserably at doing just that." She gave a small shrug and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I was just seeing if they were doing it right." The lie tasted nearly bitter and burnt on my tongue but I said it regardless. I didn't need her giving me shit for something I honestly couldn't control. Even now I still had that itch under my skin to go to the window and look.

"Oh yes, that is something you would do." She made another rather unconvincing hum of questioning as a small silence fell. "What routine was it?" The sudden question threw me slightly.

"Pardon?"

"Well if you were watching to see if they were doing it right... which routine was it?" She looked at me and I stared at her. A slow smile crawled across her face and I pointed at her in warning. That was not a fair question and from the look on her face she knew it. I couldn't control how red my face got at being caught in my rather poor lie. I could feel the flush on my chest as well and I shook my head at her, crossing my arms over my chest. I looked away from her. I didn't particularly want to see her gloating smile, I was embarrassed enough as it was. "Your silence is very telling, Alpha."

"Shut up, Linnette." She really needed to stop. My face felt far too warm and I didn't like how this conversation was making me feel. I was already having enough issues with how I felt without having Linnette tormenting me over it.

"You are blushing." She pointed at me, grinning in amusement. That only made my face feel hotter.

"Shut it!" I covered my face and turned away from her. She was such a little brat.

"If I can't tease you about the boys you like how can I be your best friend?" She laughed and I turned my head and glowered at her as I peaked above my hands.

"I don't like any boys!" I didn't want to be teased about this anymore. I was already starting to feel that incessant itch and urge to make my way back over to the window. That feeling kept pulling me towards where I could see Arlo and it was driving me nuts, Linnette was not helping that situation.

"Oh that's right!" She drug the last word out and I didn't even want to hear what was going to come out of her mouth next. She pulled the curtain back, looking out. "Arlo is a hundred percent a full blooded, full grown, sexy male." She glanced at me from her spot with a Cheshire cat grin on her face.

I pointed at her, trying my hardest to hold myself back from going to the window. "Stop." She was not helping me at all. She was being such a brat.

"You should go down there." She let the curtain drop as she looked at me, her arms crossing over her chest.

I shook my head quickly. "I'm not doing that." I was not going to go out there. I had been avoiding that because of the mess of my head. I had no control over what my body did and I would probably end up following Arlo around like a lost puppy dog. I was an Alpha and I did not need to be seen following around a male as if I didn't have a mind of my own.

She raised an eyebrow. "You kind of have too."

"I don't have to do that." I set my jaw and narrowed my eyes at her. I wouldn't be told what to do, especially in regards to that.

She gave a slow nod. "Yes you do. I'm not speaking as your best friend right now, I'm speaking as your Beta." She lifted her chin, a faint smile on her face. "Your avoiding of Arlo and staying in the house to do so is worrying the pack. They need to see you. You are going outside." She shifted on her feet and I opened my mouth to tell her no but stopped. The pack hadn't really seen me since my collapse and I hadn't really seen them.

"I... I don't want to go out there and have them see me trailing after him like a puppy." That was all the pack needed to see. Me come back from the witches and turn into a simpering female who drooled over a male with no other thoughts.

She gave a small shrug. "They understand he is your mate so I wouldn't worry too much."

I felt my eyes widen quickly as I nearly choked. "Who the hell told them?" Panic rose up in my chest and my heart thumped harshly in my chest.

"Elissa-May. They wouldn't let him take you to the witches' coven otherwise." She gave another shrug and brushed some hair from her face.

"I don't know how to deal with that, Linnette. What the hell do I do with that?" There would be expectations of me and Arlo and I barely had time to figure out how I felt. The thought of the pack pushing us to claim the bond made me incredibly anxious. It made my chest feel tight and made me want to hyperventilate.

"Why not give this whole mate thing a try?" She gave me a small, reassuring smile and I blinked at her.

"What does that mean?" I didn't understand what she was saying. I rubbed my forehead, I didn't know what to make of anything anymore. This issue I had with Arlo was making me want to curl up in a corner and cry.

"Dating. You do know what dating is right?" Her tone was slightly snarky and I snapped my teeth together in agitation.

"Don't be rude!" There was no reason for that. I was confused and I didn't need the snarkiness. I needed someone to sit down and explain this shit to me because I had no fucking clue. My head was a mess and I needed some help focusing my thoughts on what the fuck was going on in my life currently.

"I just had to ask. You don't know about mates or bonds." She made a small gesture with her hand as if that would help explain everything.

"I was a late bloomer, okay? You can't blame me for that." I didn't really like being reminded of my lack of knowledge. It was how my family's pack was. We weren't taught anything about mating until we matured enough for a bond. I didn't like it but it was how it was.

"Alright." She crossed her arms over her chest once more. "So why don't you date him?"

"I don't-" I stopped trying to gather my thoughts. "How?" I lifted my hands. I had no clue what to do with that. Everything surrounding Arlo was confusing. It almost made my head hurt. I had no ability to work through this alone because I didn't know what the hell was going on with my own body.

"Tell him you want to give the bond a try then let him take you out to dinner a few times a week to see how well you two get along." Linnette gave me a reassuring smile that didn't really work. I frowned, working through what she had said. I didn't know why but the thought made me feel quite a bit anxious and panicky.

"You and Ollie didn't do that." I rubbed my forehead once again. "You knew each other for like a week before you claimed the bond." Why had it been so easy for them and why it was so hard for me? I bit back a noise of aggravation as I realized I had moved closer to the window once more.

"Ollie and I were different. I didn't start out hating Ollie and we both knew what a mate bond was. We decided that we liked being together and went from there." She shifted on her feet once more. "You and Arlo aren't me and Ollie. Your situation is different." She gave me that smile once more. "It doesn't hurt to try, does it?" The question was so simple yet I found myself nearly panicking at the thought of doing just that. I didn't understand my reaction but I doubted understanding it would have helped stop it anyway.

I tried hard to keep my breathing even and I inhaled deeply. Regardless of how I was feeling or reacting, I needed to reassure the pack I was alright. I swallowed thickly, doing my best to push the panic away for the moment. I could deal with the pack, I didn't need to make any decisions in regards to Arlo for a bit. I could continue to merely cope with the feelings I got, it would be fine for a few more days.

"I should go see the pack." It was a good enough diversion. I knew that making sure the pack knew I was okay would take my mind off of everything that I was currently dealing with. It would be okay for a little bit longer, even though I felt like I was going to go insane.

"Good idea." Linnette smirked at me lightly and I flipped her off as I headed for the door. She could find as much amusement as she wanted in my situation but I knew one day this would come to bite her in the ass and I couldn't wait for that day to come.

No one ever said having a sister wasn't a pain in the fucking ass.