A banging on my door made me jolt upright in bed with thick confusion. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was and what was going on. Sleep clung to me tightly, bits and pieces of Maggie swirled around my head. So fuzzy. My stomach cramped slightly, an echo of her own faint sickness. The banging started again and I looked around with bleary eyes.

"Easy, Sorrel." Cai's rumbling voice rolled over me and I turned my head towards him as I blinked. His glowing coal eyes shined in the dark and I nodded slowly. Reality was seeping into my exhausted brain and I watched as the glowing of Cai's eyes moved towards the door. I blinked, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the dark. He opened the door and I could hear Linnette give a sharp growl.

"Move it, blood sucker!" Linnette pushed her way into the room and I curled my lip at her slightly. There was no need for her to be so rude. It was too dark out for her to be like that. The light from the hallway was spilling into the room and I watched as Cai slid further away from it as if on instinct.

"So aggressive, mamacita." Cai's eyes travelled down her form in a very appreciative look and she gave a heavy snarl, posturing her aggression towards him at the blatancy he had showed. He was going to get slapped one of these times and I wasn't going to say anything. I blinked again, rubbing at my eyes.

"Back off!" The words were clipped and on again looked at them both before ran my hand through my sleep mussed hair. I frowned slightly as I glanced between them, trying to get the knots out.

Mordecai gave a rakish grin. "Make me." The taunt was clear as he put his arms out from his sides. "Fair warning if you back me towards a wall, seksual'nyy, we will have ourselves some fun." I wanted to slap him upside the head. I could practically see Linnette's hackles raise at that.

"I am going to-" She snapped her teeth together as a deep growl garbled her next words and I knew the situation was not going to end well.

"Why did you come in here?" Linnette wouldn't have barged into my room, at whatever ungodly hour it was, without a reason.

"Avery is having another episode." At that I was immediately out of the bed. Avery's episodes were bad. The poor female would be trapped in her mind, rocking back and forth, screaming and whimpering at anything and everything that moved. It was made even worse by Lucas, he became half feral when she got like that, his urge to protect her riding out common sense. Like it had with Willow but so much worse. I was nearly all the way out the door before Linnette and Cai followed me.

"Cai, I'm going to need you to deal with Avery." I knew I should have had Cai do another session with her earlier. This episode might not have been triggered by whatever lingered in her mind. As I moved down the hall I could already hear Lucas growling.

"I woke up to her screaming. Lucas nearly took me out when I tried to get in to try and calm her." Linnette moved to walk beside me and I nodded in acknowledgement. "That is why I came to you. You can deal with him." That was a solid basis of thought for her. As Alpha I could force Lucas to stand down without a serious fight, something Linnette couldn't do. She could beat Lucas down but with Avery in the room that made that option impossible. We always ran the risk of making her episodes worse with our actions.

I made it to the door and as if sensing us, Lucas's growling rumbles grew louder and there was a sharp returning cry from Avery. I found my link to Lucas and shoved the door open. You back the fuck down, Lucas! I shoved the words down the link as I flipped on the lightswitch. Lucas was growling, hovering in front of Avery who was rocking back and forth near the wall with her hands over her ears.

His face was angular and his teeth lengthened as he rumbled. I pointed at him, silently daring him to do something. His growling deepened as I moved closer. I watched his form tense up and I ground my teeth together as I braced for his attack. You better rethink that, Lucas. At the push of dominance he faltered for a moment, a very brief moment, before he tensed again, moving off the bed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the behaviour. Lucas. I would not tolerate his refusal to listen, despite Avery's condition.

The moment he leapt towards me Cai was there. He grasped my Delta by his throat, that hissing rumble escaping him. "Sleep." At the hissed word I watched as Lucas' eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped. I raised an eyebrow slightly as I watched as Cai dropped him onto the floor, completely out.

I forced myself to relax as Cai moved towards Avery. He gripped her chin and lifted it up. She gave a terrified cry, lashing out at him and he grabbed her hands, holding them. Her eyes opened and I watched as she instantly stilled even as tears ran down her cheeks. "Easy, Avie. Breathe little dovey." I watched as she inhaled and exhaled almost robotically. "There we are." Cai sat down on the bed as she continued her rather robotic breathing. Despite the fact that the breathing was steady and even and unchanging it was calming her down. Cai never let her break eye contact as he guided her out of the corner.

"What is going on in your head right now, dovey?" Cai's voice was soft and gentle and Avery stared up at him, her eyes wide.

"I-I-I-" Tears still leaked from her eyes and Cai gently wiped them away with a faint smile.

"It's okay, Avie, you can tell me. Remember, I am safe." Even I could hear the compulsion in his voice with that one. She nodded slowly before sniffling, her breathing continuing that same even pattern. "Now tell me, dovey. What is going on in that head of your?"

"It was dark. The room was dark and cold and I was scared." Her voice was practically a small whimper and I tensed as I looked away. Linnette crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at the floor. "I was so hungry. I hadn't eaten in a long time. No food... my belly was so empty." She rubbed at stomach, her bottom lip trembling. "I-I-Ingrid..." She stutter whispered the name, her entire form was shaking when I glanced back at her. Both my wolf and I bristled at the name.

Cai shushed her softly as he grasped her elbows. "Ingrid cannot hurt you, dovey. She is gone now." Damn straight that bitch was dead.

"She is gone now." It was a faint repeat of his words and he nodded, stroking her hair gently.

"Yes. Now come on... we need to get this out, right?" He hunched down so that they were eye to eye. She gave a shaky nod. "That's right, Avie, we can't leave it in. We leave it in and it hurts us. Come now... tell me about what happened." Avery's eyes seemed to unfocus at his words. As if she had retreated into her mind to remember what he had asked.

"It was so quiet... then I-Ingrid would come... thump...thump...thump..." She flinched at each thump she said. "She would... she would hurt me..." She gave another sniffle. "She always hurt me. I don't know why... Why would she hurt me? I was so little..." Her body shook almost violently. None of us really knew how young Avery had been when Ingrid had gotten ahold of her. Linnette had muttered that Avery had always been there, she hadn't remembered a time when she hadn't been.

"How little were you, dovey?" Cai's voice was soothing and reassuring and her eyes focused on him.

"Why?" It was a tiny whisper from the small and sometimes broken shifter.

"Avie, how old were you?" The compulsion was a bit stronger and she rocked back and forth slightly in Cai's grip.

"Little... little little...little..."

He shushed her softly. "Avery."

"I came with her..." Her eyes locked onto Cai's and I rubbed at my face, my eyes burning. Avery was family and I hated seeing her so broken. She always was but seeing her at her low points was always tough.

"Who?" Cai was trying to guide her into constructive memories, something we could work with. We had literally no clue about who Avery was. We only knew guesses about her. Her age was a guess for us, her birth date as well. Avery had no records of being attached to the pack before she was an Omega or even during, she had been a number. She hadn't even had a name before Lucas and her picked one out.

"When she came to the pack...it was cold... and dark... she gave me to her." She rocked a bit more, shaking just as much as before. My heart ached for her. It twisted in my chest violently. Ingrid deserved a thousand deaths for what she made those innocent shifters endure.

"Who?"

"She gave me to Ingrid... I just wanted my mumma... but Ingrid brought me to the room. The dark... cold room." She shuddered again, looking away from Cai, breaking their gaze.

"Avie..." He grasped her chin to make her look at him again.

"She burned my bunny. My mumma had given it to me... she burned it and hit me when I cried..." She sniffled, her hands clenching into tight fists around her shirt. "I wanted my bunny. My mumma gave it to me." Tears fell from her watery eyes and I had to look away again to prevent my own from escaping. Avery was a pack member, one that had been severely wronged and I was left to deal with the broken bits of who she was.

"How old were you, dovey?"

"Little little... my mumma used to tell me that I was little little." She sniffled again and I resisted the urge to look at her. I wouldn't be able to hold myself together if I did. She sounded so small and broken and I didn't want to see her like that.

"What about a number? Can you give me a number?"

"My bunny was four... Mumma said my bunny was four. He came the same day I did." At the softly spoken words I turned around, my hands tightening into fists, claws digging into my palms harshly. Four years old when Ingrid had gotten a hold of her. It was no wonder Avery wasn't making any true progress. She had been a literal child and Ingrid had beaten her, forced her into the position of Omega. Many of the Omegas had been taught but Avery had grown up with it. She had been raised within the environment. This was beyond what we could deal with.

"Thank you, dovey. Now you are going to remember that it is okay to feel. The memories and dreams cannot hurt you. You are safe here. You are going to remember the fond memories of your mumma and your bunny, don't let Ingrid chase them out." Cai's voice was low and compelling and I slowly turned back around. Avery was staring at him blankly, her entire focus on the commands he was giving.

She gave a robotic nod. "Okay."

"There is a sweet girl." Cai kissed her forehead before gently helping her underneath the covers. She turned onto her side, her eyes landed on Lucas who was still out on the floor.

"Why is Lucas on the floor?" She blinked up at Cai, her voice wavering as he got off of the bed.

"He went to sleep down there." He bent down beside Lucas and easily lifted him off of the floor.

"Why?" Avery's eyes followed him intently as he moved Lucas over to the bed.

"Because he didn't want to disturb you." He set him down beside Avery and she shifted a bit on the bed, as if needlessly giving her unconscious mate room.

"Oh.... okay." She practically crawled onto Lucas' chest once Cai settled him onto the bed. I glanced at Linnette and she was still staring at the floor, her entire form stiff. I nudged her with my hand and when she looked up I motioned to the door with my head. She gave quick nod and headed out, me following closely behind her.

"My Zoi, I will be staying close with Avie. If that is alright." Cai's voice made me pause before I looked over my shoulder and nodded. Avery needed him more than I did. I stepped out into the hallway and closed the door. Mordecai would be fine and I would be fine without him. I felt a bit sombre for the situation. Avery had been taken so young. My wolf and I were feeling the conflicting feelings of sorrow and rage. Sorrow for the little girl that had been ruined by a monstrous female and rage for the fact we couldn't punish the female more.

I started down the hall, rubbing at my forehead. My stomach still cramped slightly and I felt exhausted, the emotions swirling around my head were not helping with that. A hand touched my arm and I turned to look at Linnette, my eyes feeling gritty. Her eyes were red and she looked almost haggard, as if she had aged a century in the past ten minutes.

"Do you mind if I sleep with you?" Her voice cracked as her eyes went slightly glassy and I gave her a nod, grabbing her hand in mine.

"Not at all." I honestly didn't want to be alone either. The heaviness of what Avery said pressed down hard on my shoulders. I was the Alpha, I needed to right the wrong but I didn't even know how to start. Avery's mental condition wasn't something I could deal with. I had known that when I had first met her. She was just... too far gone with her conditioning for inexperienced people to deal with but we had no other choice. We had no other routes to go with her. I brought her close to keep her safe but her and Lucas were feeding off of each other in their isolation. She got more withdrawn and he got more aggressive. It was a damaging cycle and it was spiralling out of control quickly.

We walked to my room in silence, Linnette sniffled a few times but I refused to comment on them. She was a shuttered person, rarely showing the internal workings of her head or her emotions. We could sometimes read them on her but she never spoke about the hows or whys of her emotions and it was easier to not ask. Linnette was... she was a difficult person to talk to. I mean I talked to her, I did. She was my Beta and we needed open communication and we had that but getting her to open up was impossible.

I had tried, to be fair I hadn't exactly opened up all the way either but she was just this giant enigma for me. She hadn't even been the one to tell me she had been a bit promiscuous before I arrived, I had to learn about it from the pack in not so nice language. It had been two years and while I had general impression about her, she never really spoke to me about what bothered her. She was my friend but I felt like she had a wall between us. Not really just for me, but a wall she had built around herself, shutting her out from the world.

The room was dark and I led Linnette to the bed. This wasn't the first time we had shared a sleeping space. I had even shared a space with Lucas and Avery when the house was being built. Which I vowed to never do again. Avery was okay, she liked to cling but Lucas was a sprawler and after being woken up to a hairy armpit in my face and after several times of being hit by flailing arms, I made a personal vow that Lucas was not a good bed partner and to never do that again. I was more than thankful when his and Avery's room was finished because the barracks were tight quarters and despite how nice of a bed mate Linnette was, the beds were fucking small.

I yawned as I crawled into my spot and tucked myself under the covers. I left the door open, just in case they needed something. I always left it open when Avery had her episodes. It helped ease me slightly about everything, that if I left the door open I was closer to them, could help them more. I knew it was ridiculous but it made me feel better in a situation I couldn't fix or help or do anything with.

I could feel Linnette get onto the bed and I closed my eyes, trying to push everything away. I rubbed at my stomach as it faintly cramped. I couldn't remember what the dreams had been about and I wasn't sure if I wanted too. Linnette sniffled a few more times, shifting around as she crawled under the covers. After a few moments she gave another sniffle and I reached out for her, wanting to offer her some comfort.

"What the hell was wrong with me?" Her voice was thick with tears and I grasped her arm, searching for her hand. I wasn't sure how to respond to her question. I wasn't sure if it was rhetorical or not. "She was just a baby, just a little girl and I-" Her voice cracked and I squeezed her hand tightly. "I was such a spoiled little bitch. I never looked through my own petty problems to see what was happening." I didn't need to see properly to know she was crying. I didn't want to interrupt her, it was better for her to vent.

She sniffled again, it was a wet sound and she clung to my hand as if it were a lifeline. "My problems... they were so fucking stupid. Looking at Avery and realizing that it could have been stopped sooner-" Her voice wavered and cracked and she snapped her teeth together as if in agitation but my wolf and I paid no notice to the sound. "I was too busy fucking everything that gave me the time of day. I just wanted someone to love me, to care for me, and knowing Avery had been there since she was four... What kind of person do that make me? I bitched and I moaned about how no one ever treated me with respect, how no one loved me and she was just a child who was denied it all and beaten when she asked for it." Rage shook her voice just a touch, a hot anger at herself or Ingrid I wasn't sure.

"I was a piece of shit." I wanted to argue with her about it but I held my tongue and simply gripped her hand a touch tighter, giving her that lifeline she felt she needed. "I spent years screwing around, searching for anything that would fill the void in my chest. I felt neglected by my parents because Emerson was everything to them and I thought I got nothing..." She sniffled again and I could see a faint movement as if she were wiping her tears.

Avery had nothing. She had no one." That word was enough to crack her enough and I tucked her hand closer as she started sobbing out her feelings. I didn't know what to do other than hold her hand as she broke down. I had a feeling that it had been building for a while as tears burned my own eyes at Linnette's muffled sobs.

I would not deny she had grown up with a privileged life but I would never tell her that her feelings were unnecessary. She was learning hard truths about her life, about those around her. She was trying to express her anger at her own past failings, trying to berate herself for them because of how limited her world view had been. She wasn't at fault for that, we all had our issues and our solutions for that. We all had our problems that blinded us. We would have to live with the regret, even if it felt choking at times

I let her sob it out. It was better for the emotions to come out this way than for her to break more pack members. She couldn't keep bottling those things inside of her, it wasn't healthy. I mean I did but I also knew it was highly self-destructive and was aware of the damage it could cause. I simply held onto her hand, giving her the support I could. I wasn't even sure if she would have accepted anything else.

It took a bit before the sobs tapered off and she stopped clutching my hand as if it were her only rope in a story sea. "I'm sorry." Her voice was raspy and she went to pull her hand from mine but I held it tightly to prevent it. I wouldn't let her retreat back into her walls just yet.

"Don't be." I grabbed her hand with my other one, holding her slightly cold one between the two of my hands.

"You are my best friend." The words seemed to be blurted out and I made a questioning sound as I rubbed at her hand, trying to warm it up. "I've never had female friends before. All the females of the pack disliked me, I don't blame them, but it was lonely." She sounded forlorn and I had never heard such a vulnerable tone from her before.

"When I first saw you I saw someone doing what I thought was the impossible. You were training to be Alpha. A female." There was the faint movement again that let me know she was wiping at her eyes once more. "I had been taught my entire life that Alphas were males and that females were too delicate to train. My only function was to procure offspring for my mate." A curling of distaste moved through my wolf and I. "Then I saw you."

"You showed me that a female could train just as hard as a male. That she could be just as good as a male. You showed me there were no barriers." She pressed a hand to her face and sniffled again. I tried to wipe my slightly sticky eyes off onto the pillow as I continued rubbing her hand. "I wanted to be like you. You were a female of worth and I was fucking worthless. I was dirty and scummy and I was worth less than dirt." At that I made a noise of protest, my wolf rumbling her agreement to the protest. Our Beta was worth so much more than she believed she was.

"Don't, Sorrel." The words came out clipped and on a shuddering breath. "I was. I don't deny it. I was a fucking whore. It's a fact I cannot deny." There was a resignation to her tone that had me wanting to hid her away from the world. She never should have felt like that, the pack never should have made her feel so worthless. "Everyone thinks I break the males because I've overreact to a friendly touch but its because when they touch me, I feel cheap, used, and dirty. I feel worth less than dirt because to them I'm not me. I'm an object they can touch and grab and feel whenever they want." She sniffled again and I fought back the rumbles my wolf was letting off. The males of this pack needed to learn their lessons harshly and I was tempted to give them myself.

"I don't want to feel like that anymore. I just want a male who can see me and not my past actions as something to revile or as something that invites his attention. But I won't ever get him." She let out a shuddering breath. "Perhaps I was made wrong." That made my chest ache horribly for my Beta. She truly did feel like she was worth less than others because of her past. It wasn't right.

"No you weren't." I kissed her fingers like Cai had done a hundred thousand times to my own. "If you were made wrong then I want to be made wrong too because you are a female whose perseverance and dedication I envy and admire." The words were the truth. I idolized Linette slightly for those aspects, despite everything she pushed herself forward. She never faltered and kept fighting for what she believed was right. She never gave up. Those were the traits that I admired about her, so much. I didn't like seeing her like she was, vulnerable and halfway to broken because of the same pack that broke Avery.

"But I... I-"

"We all have regrets. We cannot let them eat us whole." I knew that, Cai had told me countless times but I had yet to use it in practice. it made me feel a bit hypocritical but I shoved that away. Linnette needed me more than I needed to judge myself.

She let out a heavy breath. "This is why you are Alpha.

I gave a small bark of laughter. "I am Alpha because Andrew dropped the title on me and ran away from the pack." It had happened so fast I had been left with my mouth hanging open as he ran off.

"That might be true but still." There was a faint note of thoughtfulness to her tone that I didn't particularly like.

"But still, you are my Beta and I won't hear about anyone insulting her, least of all herself." If she was going to praise me as Alpha, I would doubly praise her as Beta. I had been given the Alpha position, she had worked hard for the Beta one.

"I dunno if I can hold true to that." There was a faint note of relief to her teasing and I let her hand go before holding out my pinky.

"Alpha says pinky promise me." I wiggled the finger at her and she gave a small chuckle before looping her pinky around my own.

"Pinky promise." I knew it wasn't enough to stop the behaviour she had exhibited but I knew it was enough to take her out of the place she was lingering in before. I knew that in order to fix the pack I needed to help fix the people. If I had to do that one pinky promise at a time. I would.