I found myself lost in a sea of shining rays of sunlight. They made his eyes brighter than usual. The wind continued mildly toying around with his ponytail. He pulled me closer as if he was scared I'd tumble over the railing.

"I'll be fine Tsurugi, no sweat," I said calmly, confident almost.

As if I were going to be the first to fall down Steel Tower.

He muttered something I wasn't quite able to make out except for two words, those being; stubborn and clumsy.

Black clouds were approaching on the far horizon. The weather today had been somewhat disappointing, to say the least. One moment the sky was crystal clear, and on other occasions, it was raining dogs and cats.

"Let's go down. We don't want to be caught up here when a storm breaks loose." Tsurugi voiced his worries at the sight of the ominous clouds painted in the atmosphere.

I remembered we came up here to take a picture of us, celebrating our first week together, "But what about the photograph?"

"We can ask someone to shoot it tomorrow instead." He suggested, not letting the ever-approaching storm clouds out of his sight despite being in the far distance. "Besides, those dark clouds wouldn't make a good background." He added, detaching his gaze from the clouds as if they were glued together.

"I guess." Even before I managed to voice my thought out loud, his afterimage was all I recalled. I leaned my head over the metal railing. He already got down; probably waiting until I would descent.

As soon as my feet had hit the ground, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. I struggled to stand on the tip of my toes. But he ignored it. He was doing utterly nothing except for looking in my eyes.

Not even seconds later, the inevitable happened. As he leaned in, I lost balance and fell right on top of him, knocking him to the ground as well. The fall itself didn't hurt as bad for me as it did for Tsurugi. Our heads bumped against each other.

"Ugh," he groaned. I opened my eyes and saw him holding his head tightly before... I realised I was lying on top of him. I shifted my weight, removing the pressure I was exerting on his body, then stood up.

"Sorry," I apologised, turning my head away in shame. Ironically I had never been that close to his face. He always feared being seen kissing me, even when we were somewhere with just the two of us. I glanced in the corner of my eyes to see something I didn't quite expect. He mellowed a bit. A faint blush ran over his face as if someone had painted it with a brush.

He stood up, avoiding eye contact. "You shouldn't say that. Why are you even sorry?"

"I don't know, it just felt like the right thing to do."

Tsurugi looked at me, shaking his head, slightly amused. "Let's leave before it starts pouring rain."

With that, we took off. Before either of us knew, the months slipped past us. Half a year went by in an eye's blink. We grew closer to one another, far beyond what I at first believed to be possible. Kyousuke wanted me to use his first name. It felt strange in the beginning, unnatural. But these days, I can't willingly imagine otherwise.

However, every so often, glances of the past catch up to me. To both of us, earnestly. The good old days, back when craziness had not yet become a permanent aspect of our lives.

The two of us made our way to the manor, having just unlocked- and opened the front door.

"We're home, Aki!" I cried, then waited patiently for a response. But silence was all that answered my call. We shared a brief moment on halt, before proceeding to walk inside. He let me enter first, following me inside.

"I guess she is off somewhere," said he, entering the house. He raised his head and turned it towards me; making sure I'd follow, and I did. We swiftly turned the corner into the kitchen.

I grabbed a drinking glass for both of us, and a shaking head caught my eye.

"Tenma, I'm not thirsty. No need to grab a glass for me."

I put the glasses beside the sink, then crossed my arms, firmly looking at him, then softening a bit. "You should drink more frequently, or you might dehydrate!"

"Again, not thirsty and no worries. I can take care of myself."

Defeated I sighed. Sure, I was renowned and marked to be stubborn, but he was far more strong-willed. Many never knew, most probably wouldn't even get to know. But it was true. He's been like that for as long as I can remember.

The sun had dived under the horizon a while ago, allowing the moon to stand in the spotlights.

Just before toggling the light, I glanced over, announcing softly: "Sleep well". His snoring was all that answered. Kyousuke tended to fall asleep with utmost ease these days and stood vast asleep. I doubted he'd wake if someone were to shoot a canon right next to him.

I quivered at the sight, cold sweat running down my face. Casts of light advanced over the street like a wave crashing into the cliffs. My heart missed a beat. Blue and white in a lake of red. I didn't know what to do; I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, perhaps even to die.

My world crumbled apart, and so did I, falling onto my knees- both my white sneakers and chunks of my school uniform now peppered in red. The colour turned a deeper shade. Blood it was. I reached out for the origin, my eyes flickering in disbelief.

This wasn't happening. I failed to prevent this. I could have, but I did not. The skin was broken, blood seeping out of the fresh yet deep wounds. The moon continued reflecting in his forever-opened amber gemstones.

Footsteps. They were all I heard apart from the voices in my head. Someone grabbed my waist and was pulling me away. Away from him. I tried pushing the person away, but they held me too tightly, I wasn't standing my ground, quite literally. The distance grew longer and longer.

"Let go of me!" Their grasp was strong, I was seeing red and slammed my fists onto their chest, trying oh so desperately to break free and run back to the lifeless corpse of my boyfriend. "Kyousuke!" I cried out before all went black.

It all itched, everything. I shot straight up in my bed, shivering. Droplets of sweat rolled down my forehead, one at a time, what horrible nightmare that was. My sight was hazy; breathing was more difficult than usual. Looking over at the mattress on the ground my eyes processed the outlining of a body below the blankets. A second later; a pair of eyes locked onto mine.

My voice trembled at the sight of two eyes shimmering in the dark, "Kyousuke?"

"Tenma?" He responded. Seconds after he flicked the light switch, a warm, light with a hint of yellow somewhere within illuminated all.

"You're sweating," stated he, his eyes not being carried away. "Are you okay?" He asked, possibly examining my posture for anything that may hint at discomfort.

I tried easing his worries, "I'm fine," but there was no change, not at all. Silently, I pulled my legs towards me, bending forward, only a little. Before I knew I cupped my hands and placed my head in between them. Surrounded by absolute darkness, images of the nightmare that had just occurred haunted me.

My soul felt down and heavy. I wanted to cry it all out. I wished to tell him about the protracted horror that felt as if it lasted an eternity yet as a single second.

"You don't look all that well," his voice was rather monotone, almost touching cold. "You suddenly look so... fearful. A nightmare, hm?" The tone he spoke in started to sound more caring, if not solemnly worried.

"How do you know?" I said with a low voice. All sorts of ideas zipped through my head as I sought an answer behind his exceptionally accurate guess.

"It was just an assumption." He chuckled, followed by a frown. He narrowed his eyes, keeping a close look on me.

"Still," I murmured.

Kyousuke stood up and closed the distance between us. Reaching out for my hand, he grabbed onto it. His hands felt icy, "You look so pale, almost as if you have seen a ghost," breathed he, averting his gaze from my hands to my eyes. They were cold, almost the eyes of an otherworldly creature.

"As if you're the one to speak. You're literally the male version of Snow Whi-" Not even able to wrap my sentence up, I lost consciousness, falling asleep as if all had been a dream.

He never intended to tell them, therefore neither did I. Only a very few knew of the special bond we had.

Practise continued. We were all to train our fortes; to excel even further in our best skill. The others were working hard, no doubt, but I couldn't. This morning's nightmare was still bugging me and screwing my train of thought over.

Breathing heavily, I was. My shirt continued sticking onto my body like a piece of tape while I limbed to the sideline. It felt like an eternity ago since I last trained. My muscles ached, occasionally burned. Kyousuke patted the seat next to him.

He raised a brow, "Tired already?"

I smiled then sighed, "I guess it would be more fun if you were to practise along."

His eyes narrowed, annoyed. "Tch," he clicked his tongue. "You know my leg hurts. I'd only drag you down."

"Aww, C'mon, I wouldn't mind."

Receiving nothing but raised eyebrows from those nearby, Coach Endou approached. "Who are you talking to, Tenma?"

Stunned, almost offended I threw my hands in the air. "Can't you see? I'm talking to Tsurugi."

They exchanged swift looks, refusing to answer me, an odd sorrow briefly visible in their eyes. Shindou and Kirino stepped away, moving to the background. Their voices were low, I should have been able to overhear them, but they most definitely were keen on leaving me in the dark.

Then I heard them speak, a tremor in my heart.

"When will Aki tell him Tsurugi is no more?"

"No clue, but he's not yet ready. He's still fragile, just gaining the knowledge may completely shatter him."

And it did. I couldn't breathe all of a sudden. Shinsuke pulled my arm.

"Are you all right Tenma?" He asked, his eyes widening upon noticing the tears pouring down my cheeks.

I charged towards Shindou and Kirino. Standing straight in front of them, the urge to slap both of them in face grew. Rage boiled in my heart. "Liar!" I yelled, "He's sitting right there!" I continued, pointing at the bench... Only to take a look and realise, he wasn't sitting there anymore.

Tears started interfering with my sight. It turned hazy. Did he reall-

Then my lights went out. Too blurry to see anything, darkness reigning my sense for sight. Opening my eyes, floodlights burned my eyes. I covered my eyes. They stung badly- really badly.

"You're awake, great."

Blinking to adjust to the level of light, I saw Aki driving her car and Kyousuke sitting on one of the backseats. "Aki?" I murmured; no response. "Kyousuke?" She flinched upon me mentioning his name. "Where are we?"

"Going somewhere important."

"Please, don't act so mysterious," I spoke, shifting in place, leaning against the car's door with my head.

"All right." She said, hitting the brakes and parking the car aside from the road. "We're going to the cemetery," added Aki.

I could only but utter a single word; "Why?"

He smiled, but not in a suitable manner. Sad, comforting it was. With concern in her eyes, she placed her hand on my shoulder. She struggled to speak, stuttering nervously, "T-Take a look around, things aren't as they used to be."

My bottom lip twitched. Had they, by any chance, been speaking the truth all along?

"Do you mean...?" I asked, meeting a soft, barely noticeable nod. I redirected my sight, glancing over my shoulder- the seat was empty. Perhaps, they had been right after all. She started up the engine once again, continuing to drive through the darkness with a thick, pitiful frown plastered on her face. Her eyes bit more narrowed than usually, concentrating on the actions she had to take.

We turned a corner to the right. Then twice to the left, avoiding a roadblock up ahead. Aki manoeuvred the car through a bunch of overly crowded streets. In the end, it was there; the memorial site.

I was silent, unable to look away. It was almost as if my eyes were petrified.

The car engine died down and the lights dimmed within seconds. She looked at me, sorrowly. Perhaps thinking of what my reaction may be upon seeing the branches which form the hedges surrounding the cemetery admits summer.

"Do you want me to tag along?" Asked Aki. The sorrow look was still in her eyes, a bit faded, but easily seen.

I ducked my head, "No, I'd like to be alone with him." I didn't have to look up to see how a worried expression had replaced the sorrow on her features, "Please," I saw movement. It drew my attention within half the second it took to process. She gave a weak, subtle nod.

I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, before pushing the door wide open, the winter currents were harsh and cruel. It felt as if I could die out here, regardless of the warm attire armouring me against the cold.

As my eyes caught the murky cemetery entrance, I tugged the long red scarf he had gifted me in the past, for our one week anniversary.

Half a minute later I set foot in the place he was supposedly buried. Chills went down my spine, not because of the surprisingly low temperature, not at all. More so the eery vibe that lingered in the air surrounding me. Somehow it felt tense enough to make my breathing unsteady and sharp. Getting used to the place took a little. Regularly Aki looked over from out of the car, making sure I wouldn't go crazy.

All I was able to see was the large grey square-formed gravestone in front of me. The letters were covered by a thin layer of dust as if nobody had taken care of the graveyard in a while. I took a single step forward before my emotions took the best of me. Tears slowly started to prickle my eyes, and I dropped to my legs, fighting it was merely futile. The ground was so cold. Without much feeling left in my legs, I still sensed slippery surface despite the thick black jeans. And realisation struck me like a lightning bolt; it was no dust covering the stone, it was pure white snow instead. Swiftly I averted my gaze. A part of me didn't want to wipe the snow away, but I sought the truth. I had to.

With my eyes squeezed I reached out for the stone with a cloak of snow. Upon the touch I flinched, gently biting my bottom lip. In seconds I managed to wipe off enough snow for words to be readable.

They read; "Tsurugi Kyousuke".

Unconsciously my sight trailed off to the clouded sky. The bags of my hair were blocking my view here and there. Not as if it mattered much, the atmosphere had become one big and gloomy blur.

You are up there now; shedding light on Earth. I see you in everything. I can still feel your presence, how you wrapped your arms around me when I felt alone and ill. How you were always there to take care of me. But you're gone now. It hurts, this godforsaken reality hurts like hell- if only our love weren't cut short- No. It hasn't; our love is still ongoing. It will always be, regardless of the boundary separating the realms of humans and angels.

I swung my pack off my shoulder, holding the white coloured bag with the nationwide well-known Raimon thunderbolt on front. My hands were tingling from the cold winter breeze, silly to forget gloves with low temperatures like these. While I opened the bag, my lips curved into a psychopathic chuckle. My metallic blue eyes stared at a dirty soccer ball. A tear had started to gently roll down my cheeks just a moment ago, desperately fighting its fate by hanging onto my chin, but to no avail. It dropped. Straight onto the first memory I had of him.

Tenderly I took our memento out of the bag, then placed it next to a handful of withered flowers near Kyousuke's grave.

Merely a single word left my throat before I sought shelter in my cold hands. "Goddammit," tears dripped down onto my hands, warming them up slightly.

A month has passed. The newly obtained knowledge remains a struggle to deal with. I've been skipping practise since the day I visited the memorial site. My mind is such a mess; thoughts twisted and turned only to be thrown in a pit of oblivion. Not to mention the responsibilities I have neglected; as a student, a captain and a person.

Every morning I stare at a photo frame with a picture of us. I stare at how gently you wrapped your arms around me, and at how beautiful your eyes seemed to gleam in the setting sun's light. They always have had such a tendency. Every day I still see you walking beside me, but you aren't there. Not anymore. And every night, I lie awake, going over all bittersweet dreams we are unable to make true together. With every falling star, I wish with all my heart to have you here again. To feel your hands holding mine, even for just a moment. But you're the illusion I cannot ever kiss again... but will always love.

Gee! That one-shot took much, much longer to write than I had expected. I remember starting this one-shot all the way back when I was on holidays in Austria- which was around the end of July. I'm not really satisfied by the way it turned out, but nevertheless, I would love to know what you guys think about it :D.

As per default, votes and comments are both greatly appreciated. Well, that will be the second one-shot I release in December this year. Time to get working on the next one. Please be looking forward to the upcoming writings :).

'Til next time!

~Tieg

|| Statistics ||

|| Time of writing: July 28 - December 8, 2018 ||

|| Publication: December 8, 2018 ||

|| Last edit: December 28, 2018 ||