A big hello to all my amazing readers and followers. How are you this day? I hope you're all doing exceptionally well and will continue doing so throughout the week <3

I have a question for you and I want your help/opinion on this. The thing is, I have a fear of flying and it's not fear because I'm afraid the plane will crash or fall, but because I hate feeling closed in. I keep thinking how the plane is a metal piece that flies and if I get a panic attack, I can't escape. Does any of you go through with this, and if you do, what do you do not to freak yourself out and being able to fly? My therapist said that the best way to tackle anxiety is to face the fear - and I want to but I'm afraid. So if any of you have any great tips, then I would gladly read them :)

Now onto something more fun! With me I have chapter eight which I hope you will:

Enjoy!

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"This is it, then," Data exhales shakily, turning to us and I can feel the tears coming when I see the immense sadness in his brown eyes.

"Data..." I whimper, shaking my head at everything happening. They were fine a few days ago; what happened in that short time?

"Yura, please take good care of Aleksandr," he says with a small smile. "I must say, guys, I love how much you've grown as people. You didn't know anything about the outside world but look at you now. Yuri, you're so open to everything and want to learn about many different things. Read the books I recommended, I left a note under the pillow on your mattress."

Yuri steps forward and gives Data a tight hug, and he pulls Yuri closer with a trembling exhale and this is not one of those awkward hugs guys usually give each other. This is a hug shared between very close friends and I can feel Yuri's emotions going haywire. He steps back with a sniffle and he's quick to wipe away the tears adorning his flushed cheeks.

Data turns to me.

"Aleksandr,"

"Let me walk you to the bus, please..." I plead, giving him the best puppy dog eyes I can muster. Data bites his lip before nodding his head and walks ahead a few steps. I turn to Yuri. "Wait for me."

"Always, Aleks," he answers and I give him a short kiss before running after Data. I look back and find Yuri still outside, looking at us with sad eyes.

"You guys are an inspiration, you know," says Data all of the sudden. I turn to him, perplexed by his statement.

"How so?"

"Despite the society hating on the LGBT community, you two openly show your love and could save many lives by being out and proud about your sexuality."

"I don't even understand why sexuality is such a big deal. What's the difference between liking a boy or a girl or both?" I say with a shrug and find it confusing when Data bursts out in laughter. "What?"

"You really are smart, my dear Aleksandr," he chuckles, "never change. Promise me."

"I will try," I shrug and after that, we continue walking down the street in silence. But it's a comfortable silence. One that can last for hours without feeling heavy and awkward.

We reach the bus station quicker than I want to and stand there awkwardly. Now, this is an awkward silence. Data pulls his bag further up his shoulder and stares at me behind his glasses.

"So," he begins but I'm quick to interrupt.

"I'm going to miss you," I blurt out and shake my head at my own awkwardness. "Sorry."

"Thank you," he whispers, putting his hand on my shoulder. "It warms my heart when special people say they're going to miss me."

I snort at his words, "special? What's so special about me besides the curse I was born with?"

"We talked about this, Aleksandr. It's a gift and I know that doctor called it that and it creeps you out. But stop fearing the word and use the word power or gift; stop calling it a curse."

"I'm trying, and I will keep trying. I promise," I tell him and squeak when he pulls me into a tight hug.

"I know the life you lived has been hard and I have a theory about what you're doing almost every night in the bathroom and I want you to promise me to keep fighting, and never be ashamed of your feelings," Data whispers in my ear. I freeze in his arms and the feeling of wanting to run away spikes high.

"D-data," I mumble, pulling away slowly from his embrace only to find love and acceptance in his gentle, brown eyes. "I'm so sorry." I sob brokenly, not able to look at his anymore, the shame deep inside me.

"Don't apologize, please, what you went through would make anyone go insane but here you are," he tells me. "But cutting yourself isn't a solution, sweetheart."

"Sometimes everything feels so heavy and hopeless, and I feel so numb. And I get this ache to just feel anything, so I cut a small gash into my arms." I roll up one of my sleeves and show him the myriad of scars decorating my pale skin. Data trace them with his fingertips and it takes all I have not to slap his hand and pull back.

"Each of these scars represents a challenge you have overcome, and nobody said it's easy but I need you to be stronger than your thoughts Aleksandr," he tells me. He rolls down the sleeve and takes hold of my hand. "Call or mail me whenever you feel numb, lonely or just need to talk to someone. Don't hold your feelings in, and I advise you to share this with Yuri when you feel ready. He loves you so much that boy, and would support you through any- and everything."

"I-I will try," I promise once again. Data gives me a nod and another hug before leaning away with a shaky exhale. Data reaches into his pocket and hands over a small paper with a number and an e-mail address. I take it from him and put it inside my sweatshirt pocket with a small nod.

"This is not goodbye, but a so long," he chuckles wetly and takes a few steps back. I raise my hand and wave slowly as he turns around and goes to the bus that's taking him to his dreams.

"Data, I forgot!" I scream, "where are you going?" Data turns with a bright grin.

"Moscow!"

He boards the bus and gives me a last wave through the window as the bus drives away – taking Data away from my life.

The tears come unexpectedly and I stand in the dark, cold night crying until there are no more tears to shed.

Another person who left me...

They will disappear one by one until I'm completely alone in this world with no one to lean on.

***

The walk back home is slow and heavy, and it takes a long time for me to reach the house. Since it's late night, I enter through the backdoor quietly and lock the door after myself. Yuri probably left it unlocked, knowing that I would come back late and weary from all the exhausting emotions.

This day has not been good at all and I can feel the same itch return and I have such a strong urge to retrieve the piece of glass and open just a small gash.

A tiny one wouldn't hurt...

But I won't. I promised Data I would at least try, and if I do it directly after saying goodbye to him, it would be very disrespectful. So I make my way to the bedroom but before I enter, I walk by the room Ivan had locked himself into only to find the door still closed. I sigh heavily and knock softly on the door; getting no response.

"Ivan?"

Still no response.

I knock three more times and get the same reaction. I groan lowly and walk to the bedroom where the children are huddled closer than usual and I can feel the absence of Data in the whole house. He's the one that made it feel like home. He always taught the children about the outside world and he taught me so many things about myself and how my powers could have come to exist despite breaking every scientific rule.

I take off my jacket and pants, leaving on my sweatshirt; not ready yet to share my shame with Yuri.

Someday...maybe...

I crawl under the cover and snuggle close to Yuri who's quick to wrap his arms tightly around me. He buries his face between my neck and shoulders and I can feel a warm wetness there, and all I can do is hold him close and try not to break down myself. Yuri doesn't cry loudly or sob – he cries quietly and is one who needs bodily contact to calm him down.

He and Data became very close the past few years and Data taught him about science, society, psychology and one of Yuri's all-time favorites – astronomy. So I understand why Yuri misses him so much and I miss him very much, as well.

We hold each other close throughout the night until Yuri pulls away from me, his cheeks flushed and eyes swollen from all the tears shed.

"Let's go out," he pleads hoarsely, and I couldn't agree more. We put on warm clothes, hold hands and walk outside to our favorite spot. Thankfully, there are no clouds tonight and the stars glint beautifully across the entire sky. We sit down closely, our hands intertwined and our eyes stuck to the glimmering orbs decorating the sky.

"I can't believe we missed out on this for so many years," I whisper, pointing at a specific star that seems to be switching colors.

"Yeah, I know," he chuckles wetly. "Data says the stars that switch colors are actually erupting and when the light reaches our atmosphere we see them as different colors."

"That's awesome," I give him a smile and love the way his eyes light up when talking about space. "Yuri, have you ever thought about studying astronomy like Data said?"

"Aleks, I'm too stupid," Yuri chuckles bemusedly. "School are for people like Data, who can change the world, not someone like me who can only destroy things."

"You always tell me to stop calling it a curse yet here you are saying you can only destroy things," I tell him. "How do you think that makes me feel? It means you have been lying to me about my own powers."

"Aleks-"

"I think we both should help each other and stop seeing our powers as curses," I look him deeply in the eyes and find nothing but the usual love and a bit of sadness mixed in. I bring his hand up and press a kiss to the back before letting it fall back down onto my lap.

"You are the most precious thing in my life, love," he says with a smile and I can't help but return it. "I promise to try, but I don't know if I will ever succeed in seeing myself other than a monster."

"Then we're in the same predicament and should help each other to stop thinking like that," I tell him. I lean my head against his shoulder and continue watching the beautiful stars until I find myself slipping in and out of consciousness – all these emotions taking their toll on me.

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