By JaeFaust

BOOK COVER

I love the cover. The purple glow of the letters goes beautifully against the dark black background and it really stands out. A couple of suggestions- The author's name can be written further below the title to give a gap and distinguish the name from the title of the book. Also, the flowers of the creeper interfere with the letter P in Petrichor and make it look a bit like R. So that can be edited a bit. Also, for some added effects, a border in white or purple around the book cover would be nice, but that's just a personal opinion. It looks great as it is too.

FIRST CHAPTER

Before this, the guide for important words is really useful and the moment I saw Filipino, I got a bit excited because I've never come across the language otherwise.

As for the first chapter, it's a great beginning. The descriptions of the rain that patters down and Richard's surroundings are very well-written. It transports the reader back to the motel. Especially the part where the garlic rice with a blend of mushrooms and sauce is enough to make anyone get dreamy-eyed and drooling. A couple of grammatical errors corrected-

"...across the trees and the rain was loud, threatening..."

"the annoyance that the wet weather brought..."

There are other mistakes regarding cases, where the first letter after a full stop isn't in uppercase. Also, hyphens need to be used in places like 'Second-hand car' and '6-feet'.

Next- When John Levi offers to be Richard's tour guide, the meal of garlic rice has been described and after that, Richard is said to be getting to his car and starts the engine. What about John? The conversation seems incomplete and we don't know if Richard accepts his offer. That has to be worked on.

SECOND CHAPTER

The transition from the first chapter to the second one seems slightly jerky. Corrected errors-

"After an endless sea of damp forest-green..."/"After an endless sea of damp, green forest..." 

"...parking in the tenant parking lot. He noticed that there was someone else in the parking lot aside from him, a young..."

"...sensed that he wasn't bourgie and left him alone."

"The girl waived his offer..."

In the sentence "After an endless sea of damp...iron fences and a Victorian gate", the word 'it' doesn't seem appropriate as it makes it sound as though the sky gives way to iron fences and a Victorian gate. It has to be changed. Also the sentence "Oh my, sorry Po..." sounds like it's being said by the Japanese man so it has to be mentioned that Richard says it.

A couple of punctuation errors were also spotted here, but they can be corrected easily. Great descriptions here too, and as I said, they immediately transport the reader to the place Richard is.

THIRD CHAPTER

I love the way the chapter begins with a note of humour. It's very interesting to read and the transition between the last chapter and this one was smooth. A corrected grammar mistake-"...commercialized doughnuts and instant and instant coffee, and he felt right at home..."

Also, there are spaces between dialogues said by the same person, giving it the wrong impression that two different people are speaking. The spaces need to be removed. 

I really like the conversations here. They're very entertaining to read. This was a slightly different chapter and the dialogues between Richard and the cashier are well-written with the perfect amount of humour. 

FOURTH CHAPTER

Great opening dialogue. You've created an air of mystery surrounding the story of the deaths and the conversations are intriguing. 

However, the line "...were about your age but of different years" isn't very clear. If you mean to say that they were all Richard's age but died in different years, you can say "...were about your age but were killed in different years..."

A few corrected errors- "...confirmed by any of the previous morticians and not even by..."

"...carefully tried to pry his hands away from Niccolo but..."

"...wryly added, sipping his mimosa."

"Aponi looks like they were very friendly..."

In the sentences "....something tying them together. Something more", 'something more' needs to be replaced by a word like 'something deeper' as it sounds incomplete now. Apart from this, the conversations are very interesting and a lot of information had been put in the dialogues. I like the poetic way the chapter was ended too.

FIFTH CHAPTER

Great chapter name. It seems like an intentional play on 'Panic! at the Disco.' However, if you go for grammatical perfection, I would recommend changing that name to something more grammatically appropriate. Just a suggestion. It's fine the way it is too.

Again, the descriptions have remained consistent in quality and I really like the way you've written about the Victorian feel and surroundings. Some corrected errors-"...vitality of the living slips (not seeps) away." The quote is beautiful though. 

"Richard walked towards it. His fingers ran across the dusty marble and the decaying..." (change in tenses)

In the sentence "...windows whispered through the trees..." 'windows' has to be replaced with 'winds' because 'windows' just seems highly out of place here.

 Also, in "...cold metal seeped through his fingers", 'seeped' has to be replaced with something like 'brushed against'. Metal technically can't seep through your fingers unless it's sodium. Also, a time-cut sign like (***) after the part he passes out.

Great humour too. I really love the hilarious thoughts of Richard and I look forward to reading the dialogues even more after this!

FINAL NOTE

For those of you who didn't know this, Petrichor is the fresh smell one gets after rain.

This book is for anyone who wants a fresh storyline with a unique blend of humour and new words of a foreign language (for those of you not Filipino!). Except for the grammatical errors, which can be corrected, I like 'Petrichor' and the chapters keep you entertained at all times. It's a great attempt at writing original content.