By AlanJoeDraws

BOOK COVER

The front cover of the book says a lot about what the story is going to be like. The title has been written in a clear, visible font. I would suggest removing the full stop at the end of the title because it is never used at the end of the title of a book on the cover. I would also recommend making it 'A Warrior through and through' because adding an article there sounds more complete.

CHAPTER ONE

I like the way you've begun the chapter. Dramatic yet coherent. Even though not much is said about the context, the reader can grasp what's going on by the dialogues. In the sentence "...she climbed her calvary horse...", I think 'calvary' has to be changed to 'cavalry' because the former has no relevance here at all (calvary can refer either to a statue of Christ's crucifixion or to an experience of extreme suffering).

In the sentence "I always wonder wheather she..." the word 'wheather' has to be replaced by 'whether'.

When narrating, you have two types of tenses- present perfect and past tense. It's best to keep to one tense here because, during narration, the mixed-up tenses get a little confusing. Apart from this, I think this is one of the few and rare instances where the chapter is short but very powerful in conveying a message. This was a great start to the book!

CHAPTER TWO

First, a few grammatical errors corrected: "...dark clouds did not help much either (not 'too')."

"During war, (missed a comma) bread is always..."

In this chapter too there are instances where the narration changes suddenly from past tense to present. This has to be changed, or the transition can be made smoother. 

Apart from this, I loved the storyline. The dialogues, descriptions and drama were all in their perfect places and it was an absolute joy reading. The first-person view makes everything interesting too.

CHAPTER THREE

This chapter has as beautiful a start as an end. The very first paragraph, as I mentioned in the comments, is enough to make you stop reading, find a quiet spot and meditate on the meaning of life. 

Grammatical errors corrected: "I read books in all sorts of..."

The sentence "It is where I met her in a library near" can be changed to "A library is where I met her..." because it sounds more grammatically correct.

I loved this chapter as much as the previous ones. Another great job done!

CHAPTER FOUR

The descriptions here about his surroundings and about his wife are
fantastically vivid. They transport the reader to your world. There were no noticeable grammatical errors here so I suppose it's an improvement! There were only a few minor errors regarding tense and use of lowercase letters.

The conversations between him and Davim were also highly intriguing to read.

CHAPTER FIVE

And the action began! The fight between him Davim was really engrossing and I loved the way the action slowly built up. Those conversations sound just like those I would hear in movies, so they've been really well-written. There's really not much to critique here because I found the storyline near-flawless.

FINAL NOTE

If you're looking for a totally unique storyline written in a unique style that's based on a setting not many authors take nowadays, then 'Warrior through and through' is your book.  You can read this book on the go as well, as the chapters are short but certainly pack a punch! Give it a read,  you won't regret it.