Chapter Sixteen: Amber

I shut the door behind me after my walk with Colin, I didn't even have the energy to change before I plopped on my bed. I had to accept this was my life now and I couldn't break down every time I got new, upsetting information. I needed to be strong and the symbol of hope the people thought I was. Colin was the only person I had ever felt safe to be vulnerable with, but I hated that our time together always ended in me crying to him.

"Boo-hoo Amber, woah is me, now toughen up." I told myself quietly, "Mom and Dad would be tougher than this." I added, tears falling down my cheeks again. I held my galaxy stone in my hand, close to my chest.

"I miss you guys. I wish I could just remember you." I said out loud as if my parents could somehow hear and guide me.

This is how I spent most of my nights since I'd been here, either crying myself to sleep or riddled with nightmares. This was all a lot to handle, but I couldn't let anyone believe I couldn't handle it. I had begun to rely on Colin's company, as well as Astrid's. I enjoyed being around them and finally felt like I belonged somewhere but there was still an emptiness, one that I did not know if I could overcome. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and did not recognize who was looking back at me. Not only physically but I had changed so much personality wise. On top of that, I was now living another life.

My thoughts continued to race as I turned my back to the mirror and pulled my blankets around me. I realized I was still wearing Colin's hoodie and pulled it closer around me, his smell filled my nose, providing me with much needed comfort. At last, I started drifting off to sleep, maybe tonight would be a peaceful one.

Alas, I tossed and turned for hours, so close but never quite catching sleep. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself outside Colin's room, knocking gently on his door.

A very sleepy-eyed Colin opened his door.

"Hey Amber, what's up?" His half-asleep voice was gruff and deeper than normal, concern written all over his face.

"I can't sleep, I don't think I can be alone tonight..." I admitted my weakness as he welcomed me into his room. He sat back down in his bed and lifted the covers for me to sit next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and relaxed against him. He kissed the top of my head in his half-asleep state. I traced my fingers along the two band tattoos connected by swirling patterns that covered his arm. I could feel him relax the rest of the way into my touch. Could it be he needed my presence as much as I needed his? I let my eyes start to close as I snuggled into him.

That's when a loud buzzing sound went off, it was some kind of alarm.

"What's that?" I asked panicked. Colin grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed, all traces of his previous sleepy stupor now gone.

"This way." He said, leading me in the direction down the hall where everyone else in the house was heading. I had never heard such a serious tone leave his lips. He was calm, collected and in control.

We all made our way downstairs, no one seemed too panicked, but I could tell by Colin's expression that he was worried. "What's going on?" I asked, "What are those alarms?" He pulled me away from everyone into his secret room.

"They mean the Blank Faces are near...it could be a breach in our security system, or they found a way through the forcefield somehow," Colin began in a hushed voice as he led me across the room and motioned for me to sat down in the corner of the room, behind the bouncy vinyl. "If they find a way in, they won't find you in here." He added. He slid down next to me as my heart pounded, without realizing it, I was squeezing Colin's hand. He obviously didn't care if he noticed at all.

Colin began patting his pockets with his free hand as if he was looking for something, it didn't take him long to find whatever it was. He pulled a small black phone out of his pocket and began typing. "My parents have cell phones wherever they are and I'm letting them know where we are, they told me this was the safest place in the house." He explained while whispering.

I watched the phone screen as he typed, still griping his other hand.

Colin: We are in the safe room.

Joseph: Okay, just stay there until we give you the okay to come out.

Joseph: We aren't sure if we are in any true danger yet, but the force field is down.

I remembered Colin telling me a little about the force field around the house that was there to protect us. I wondered how they had taken it down. I also wondered what that meant for our safety in this house from this point on.

The seconds ticked by anxiously. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours. After at least two hours of sitting in the corner my body started aching and sleep threatened to fill my brain with fog. I could hear Colin yawning next to me and I took that as a sign to stretch out my legs some, let go of Colin's hand and lean my head against his chest which he opened his arms automatically to let me in close. The soft pitter-patter of his heartbeat was calming as I closed my eyes and felt his soothing fingers making small circles on the small of my back. I relaxed my tense muscles and thought about how, despite the situation, being this close to Colin was what I craved.

I began drifting in and out of dreams and Colin's head rolled back against the wall, his breathing soft and rhythmic. I could tell his dreams weren't very peaceful because every so often he would hold me tighter in his sleep, not that I minded and if I had, my body was too tired to do anything about it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4. I counted as the muscles in his chest rippled with every breath, matching my breathing to his, I cleared the thoughts from my head. Finally, I just gave into my dreams and fell asleep. And what a deep sleep it was. Colin's warmness enveloped me, a sense of security washed through me.

The coldness of my bed woke me up as Colin laid me down. "Please stay." I murmured; I hadn't been able to be alone earlier before any out of the normal activity, there was no way I would be okay now. I was scared to be alone. He lay down next to me, rubbing his eyes.

"I suppose that's fine." He said closing his eyes again, he was as exhausted as I was, so I curled up next to him and closed my eyes again. He kissed my forehead just before I felt him give back into sleepiness.

**********

I was running as fast as I could. From what? I had no idea; all I knew is it was bad, and it was gaining on me. I looked behind me to see a darkness chasing me, panic filled every inch of my body. I was running out of energy and knew I couldn't last much longer. I looked for somewhere to hide but I was trapped. I knew inevitably it would get me. In that moment, I felt something grab me and turn me to face it. It was the most horrible sight I'd ever seen; I screamed harder than I ever had before.

**********

"Amber, Amber wake up," Colin gently rocked me awake. I was drenched in sweat and my throat hurt as if I had actually been screaming. "It's okay Amber, I won't let anyone hurt you, I'm right here." He soothed me as I fought to control my breathing and racing heartbeat. "It was just a dream, you're okay now." His voice calmed me down as he pulled me close to his chest and held me tight.

I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on Colin's voice and heartbeat. Slowing my breathing to match his, I calmed down. He was right, it was only a dream. I opened my eyes back up and looked at him. "Thank you, Colin," I said, my body relaxing again. "Sorry to wake you up," Heat crept up to my cheeks, I blushed at the fact that my screaming had woken him up. He must've thought I was insane.

"I don't mind, I'd rather be here to comfort you anyway," Those words from Colin making it all click for me. I was falling for Colin, and he felt the same way. Everything felt like it was the way it was meant to be, like we were made for each other. I lay there looking into his eyes as he did the same to me. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips back to my eyes, I smiled at him, and he leaned down to meet me. His lips were soft and gentle against mine. I tilted my head up to him, a warmth radiating through me, and I could've sworn I felt a hunger from within him that I hadn't noticed from his touch before, a hunger I recognized. From that moment, I knew that we were here for each other and no matter what he wasn't going to leave my side.

His chocolate brown eyes opened slowly and looked back into mine, I smiled up at him and laid my head on his chest. I picked up Colin's hand gently and ran my fingertips across his palm as his other hand gently rubbed my neck. I had never felt so relaxed and peaceful. But above all else, I felt protected and safe.

"Where have you been my whole life, Colin?" I asked him, thinking back to all the heartbreak and rejection I had gone through.

"Waiting for you to come back to me." He replied, smiling at me. "But, now that you're here, I'm never letting go again. I shouldn't have made the mistake of letting you slip through my fingers that night at the club... I wasn't sure but I'd remember the taste of those lips anywhere." He laughed, it was cheesy, but I knew I believed every word of it. Young? Maybe I was but I also knew how I felt and what I wanted. Having your whole life flipped upside down and torn apart will really make you realize what you need in life.

"That was you..." I whispered, I think I'd known that since I had been here but was too in my own head to realize it, not that the sex had anything to do with my feelings, it definitely explained the lust. "You are mine." I added softly, almost as if I was scared, he would change his mind. A primal growl came from deep inside his chest at that, as if I had awoken a beast within him.

"You are mine." He mirrored my words. And I knew he meant it.