xiii. a new day
THE LONG ROAD ahead of the group seemed like an illusion; the road seemed to continue forever, with a mere mirage standing at the end. Existence whirled like a memory, leaving the group entirely unsure whether they had been going in circles for hours, or simply driving ahead.
The howling of the vehicles and the quiet chatters of those of who knew what to say were the only audible sounds — everything else was still. Daryl had agreed to drive his bike with Carol on the back, regardless of Ellie's objecting and desire to join him instead, as a chance for the two to discuss their situation. His decision to place Carol on the back left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she simply ignored it. Survival had been their main goal, their private lives came second.
Ellie gazed as Shane drove her car quietly, his sparkling eyes were staring into the distance, just how she had done, though he interrupted their silence by questioning, "You doing okay? After... wanting to stay?"
"I'm not suicidal," Ellie muttered, shaking her head slowly, though her eyes remained void of emotion as she responded, "I didn't think it was wise to go back out there. I'm fine." She gently ran her fingers across his scratched neck, before sighing loudly, "How did really you get these scratches, Shane?"
"Lori..." he whispered breathlessly, as though he was ashamed to think of what had happened, "She was in the REC room where the kids were... they left, and she was looking for books—I don't—I guess—I guess... I have some feelings for her. I tried to kiss her, and–and she didn't want me to. I'm so stupid, man."
Ellie rubbed his arm in a comforting manner, though an uneasiness settled against her tongue when she responded, "No, you aren't stupid. Your mistakes do not define who you are in here," she smiled at him warmly as she pointed towards his heart, her voice gentle and soothing as she declared, "You can be a good man, Shane. Don't let bad thoughts control you."
He nodded his head with shame, and bowed it down to stare at his lap for a bit before bringing his head back up to the road, "Do you think I'll be kicked out with indecency if she tells Rick?"
Ellie sighed and dropped her head too, allowing the awkward question to fall from her lips, "Did you have... a relationship with Lori?"
Shane gulped, and nodded hesitantly, "Rick was in the hospital — she was lonely, and I loved her. I always did, that's the joke of it."
Ellie let out a shocked laugh, and rubbed her hands over her face, "If she were to mention anything to him, she would incriminate herself, which I doubt she would want to do." Shane nodded in response, "It doesn't make you a bad person — it made you reckless; love does that sometimes."
Shane laughed lightly and shook his head, giving Ellie a half-smile, "You frown when you're passionate about something."
Ellie laughed but averted her gaze over at the man who was riding his motorcycle, but her attention landed on Carol, who rode on the back. Ellie couldn't help but feel the frustration of being chosen last, but she swallowed her anger. All of the vehicles soon came to a stop when Dale's radiator hose had stopped working, leaving the group split off into different smaller sub-groups in the middle of the highway once again.
Glenn made a plan to jury-rig it, leaving the group stranded along the filthy roads for respite. Ellie glanced up at Rick, who was standing on top of the RV, merely staring off into the sky as he spoke into his walkie-talkie. He had spoken into the contraption twice since Ellie had been with the group. Though Ellie had respected his privacy enough to remain out of his business, it had been hard not to question his integrity at his secrecy surrounding the device.
The few times that Ellie had attempted to communicate with Daryl, she had been met with ice, seemingly as though they had reverted to their old, toxic behaviour towards one another. Ellie hesitantly approaches him as he leaned against his motorcycle, holding Coda in his arms protectively.
"Daryl?" she questioned, causing him to barely lift his head from the ground, "Why haven't you talked to me?"
Daryl let out a sigh and cleared his throat, "You looked cosy with your new officer boyfriend," he growled, turning his face away from her, "Didn't want to interrupt your family meetin'."
Ellie scoffed at Daryl's jealousy, and let out a laugh, "Oh, you're such a child," she stepped closer to him, and wrapped her arms around him and Coda, "Daryl, Shane is my friend. We're all in this together now." She leaned up and placed the tiniest of kisses on his cheek, her lips curved into a involuntary smile as she muttered against his skin, "Jealousy is a new trait for you."
Daryl nodded at her but internalised the excitement he felt at how she had kissed him — it drove him wild. Although he wasn't good at showing his emotions, he felt many of them, and often he thought them stronger for Ellie than anyone else. Ellie wandered off towards the RV, where she spotted Shane sitting on the inside, cleaning his weaponry.
Ellie sat opposite him for a while, the two of them sitting in comfortable silence. Though it had been entirely comfortable, Ellie couldn't help but notice the sprinkles of discomfort on Shane's face, how his jaw clenched sporadically. The torment his mind had been plaguing him with would forever linger like a thick cloud of smoke.
Disrupting a fine moment of peace, Andrea walked in nervously, and stood nearby, watching Shane clean with wide eyes of bewilderment. Though Ellie had noticed the airy, feigned and flirtatious smile curled onto Andrea's thin lips.
"Looks complicated," Andrea stated, breaking the silence between the trio as her seductive eyes trailed over Shane's chiselled jaw.
"The trick is getting all these pieces back the same way, I could clean yours for you if you want," Shane offered, glancing up at her with a seductive look.
She nodded with a big smile as Shane reached down and she stared at him, it was undoubtedly in a loving way, never taking her eyes off him. Ellie then realised that whatever feelings Andrea could muster in this world, they were for Shane; Shane was virtually her escape from the harsh reality of the world.
"I'm gonna take Coda for a nap, see ya later," Ellie smiled at Shane warmly, sneakily winking at Andrea in the interval where Shane has turned away, prompting Andrea to flash a grin of gratitude.
Knowing that Ellie had helped someone feel better during the adversities they had been facing warmed her heart.
Ellie hauled the sleeping Coda all the way over to the bed of the RV, gently folding her body underneath the sheet that bandaged around her body. Ellie gently crumpled in the bed beside her, ensuring her daughter could rest her head on her stomach as she curled into the foetal position, exuding sporadic snores of innocence.
Ellie's hand weaved slowly through the harp strings of Coda's hair, twiddling thin strands between her fingers as they glistened against the dim light. Nothing had been more perfect than the small child curled beside her, and her eternal purity. Coda was good. There had been no doubt in Ellie's mind that she was going to be the future, she would be responsible for the wisdom of generations to come. Long after they had all grown old, accumulating their empire of survival — Coda was going to make it.
>>>
"Bunch of cars. Can't get the cars and RV round them," Dale muttered once the RV has started up again, proving his next issue to be the masses of stocked up cars that were blocking the roads.
Ellie tortured herself by analysing the cars, a thick lump of remorse metastasising in her throat —how once beautiful, functional families had driven down that very highway on holiday; how the current cars were filled with remnants of distant memories that'll never get passed down the generations; how the bodies on the ground held belongings and personal anecdotes that would never leave the grasp of their person — how life, as it was known, had been destroyed.
"This is a graveyard. I don't know how I feel about this," Lori announced bitterly from a nearby car, where most of the group were standing, observing for any solutions to the pile-up.
"Just look and see what you can find, guys," Shane ordered, ignoring Lori's morbid observation, and simply proceeded with delving through a nearby car.
Ellie's heavy eyes lingered over Andrea, whose body had been in a crouched position on the ground near her feet, suddenly encapsulated with the blistering concrete beneath her as she muttered, "I hope I made the right choice."
"You did," Ellie asserted, though her tone had been gentle and lyrical, ensuring her hand fastened on Andrea's shoulder for consolation, "We can only make it together." Ellie's eyes subsequently trailed to the littered baby clothes on the ground, bright and pink like the remnants of a good life. Entirely abashed, Ellie weakly muttered, "Oh, God. That poor baby."
Andrea's fearful eyes trailed to the sight, prompting her to release a quiet cry, before despondently responding, "We can only hope they managed to escape and left this behind." Ellie gulped at the thought losing Coda like that, not ever knowing if she would survive the next day, or if she could protect her daughter the way she deserved it, "Ellie, you're doing the best you can, and we're all going to help protect Coda."
Ellie smiled in gratitude at her friend, though the slight indents in her tense forehead indicated she had been far from relaxed.
She quietly retorted, "I'm so grateful to all of you, for taking us in and loving us so quickly. But, what if I can't control what happens to her? What if —"
"None of us would ever let anything happen to you or Coda," Andrea asserted, ensuring her hand had found its way to clasp at Ellie's arm in reassurance, "We are all family. That girl will never have to worry about her life with us around."
In the midst of integrity, Ellie gently tugged Andrea sling as Lori had gestured for the two to follow her, along with Carol who had planned their scavenge for suitable clothing. Ellie's hands surged through the remnants of past lives, threading fabric from fabric as she scavenged for the clothes they deemed suitable. It seemed incredibly morbid to search through the thrift store of stranger's suitcases of clothing, one utilised solely to flee the disaster of the city. How could it be that they had been the lucky ones, when so many good had been taken far too soon? They simply deserved the peace.
However basic the clothing had been, Ellie yanked at hoodies and shirts; clean jeans, underwear, basic items that felt mediocre in comparison to actual food and water. Though, it was fresh clothes that she could change into, to feel brand new once again. After choosing her clothing, she made her way to the RV to change in privacy, the glistening mirror suddenly catching her eye, only to instantly glare at the reflection.
The woman who stared back had become barely recognisable — her cheekbones were hollow; her blonde hair was matted and scraggly, and her clothes hung off her body. Blood had been smeared in all the crevices of her face, though had no idea how it had got there to begin with.
"Who are you?" she whispered into the mirror, eyeing herself from top to bottom. Her teeth gritted viciously as she inquired, "Are you doing enough?" Ellie gazed deep into her own own eyes, suddenly overcome with a thin glaze of glassy tears as the only person she had seen staring back had been a stranger. Upon releasing a profound breath, she nodded slowly and declared, "We're going to make it."
With one foot set to step ahead of the other, Ellie promptly halted in her place, a sudden sharp inhale of breath meeting her lungs as she sighted Shane standing ahead of her. She sighed loudly once she had relaxed, shaking her head as Shane quietly stated, "I like the clothes."
Ellie flashed a sarcastic grin, simultaneously spinning around playfully as she stated, "Feel like a model."
Shane cackled playfully, though it appeared entirely feigned in comparison to his vacant eyes that simply pleaded for solace. He cleared his throat, nodding in the direction of her weaponry on the table, "You need a hand with those guns?"
The blonde nodded hesitantly, and gestured toward the gun Luke had handed her before he had left to retrieve the bag, and stated, "That's the gun Luke left me, I haven't really used it before," Shane nodded after her words, and promptly sat down at the table to fiddle with its components, "A part of me thinks he knew he wasn't going to come back."
"How so?" Shane inquired, his eyes glistening with intrigue at Ellie's juicy words.
"The way he spoke to me before he left sounded like he knew he wasn't going to come back," Ellie certified, her tone had been quiet, yet had been profound in concern, "I don't know. A part of me thinks he went to look for Harvie... and ended up in trouble."
Shane raised an inquisitive eyebrow, his chocolate orbs suddenly flashing with confusion as he questioned, "Harvie? A... man?"
Ellie snorted loudly at the confirmation that Harvie's name had indeed been traditionally a male's name, and nodded, "You'd think! But, she's his fiancée, apparently. He drove to find her while I was sleeping in the car, but I don't think it satisfied him."
"It does sound like a very Luke thing to do," Shane contended, nodding slowly as he peered down at the pistol Luke had left, "This was his work gun, it's the one I gave him on the highway. He already had a gun on him, though. So, he's safe. At least..."
"Yes," Ellie replied quickly, not allowing Shane's faded voice to continue. She broadcasted a deep sigh, deciding quickly to change the subject as she teasingly stated, "Hey, Annie Oakley, you suddenly know everything about guns, now?"
The two laughed quietly between them, soaking up the brief moment of serenity and carefree moment, until the door shifting open alerted them. In spilled Daryl and Coda, mid-laughter that seemingly faded from Daryl's lips once he sighted Shane sitting at the table. He cleared his throat awkwardly, darting his eyes back and forth between Shane at the table and Ellie, whose arms had been infiltrated by Coda. Daryl's arms crumpled across his broad chest, remaining entirely silent as Shane plastered a humoured smile on his face.
"How you doing, Dixon?" Shane inquired, though the question had been entirely rhetorical and taunting of Daryl's evident dislike for him.
"What you laughin' at, girl?" Daryl questioned, ignoring Shane entirely as he smirked boldly from his chair.
Ellie laughed through the thick tension, and held up a sleeveless t-shirt with pride, nonchalantly stating, "We were laughing at how ordinary these clothes are in comparison to your style."
Daryl's eyes squinted untrustingly as he peered between the two, but merely sighed as he grunted, "Funny."
"Come on, we're sorry," Ellie teased, and nudged him playfully, though he seemed less than pleased at her humour, "Coda seems quiet when she isn't around Carl, doesn't she?"
Daryl nodded slowly, nibbling at the skin inside his mouth anxiously, entirely unsure how to proceed with their encounter. He cleared his throat, before he darted for the door, "I'll stay with her and Carl for a bit," his cheeks flushed a deep crimson shade as he shot Ellie a nod before leaving, ensuring to briefly glare at Shane on his way out.
Through the small window to their right, they observed as Daryl leaned against a car, positioning Coda above him as she danced playfully. He bowed down to plant a kiss on her head, allowing his lips to
linger as his eyes clenched, his nose wrinkling gently as he absorbed her scent. Ellie's heart virtually pooled beneath her, melting at such a virtuous display of affection.
"He is like a different man with that kid," Shane noted through slight laughter, shaking his head as he turned his view back to the gun on the table.
"You're right, it's strange," Ellie laughed, acknowledging how Daryl's angry, macho exterior appeared to melt once Coda was in his arms, "But, it's good, nevertheless."
"What isn't good is this damn situation with the roads, it's going to be impossible to get through without a solution," Shane sighed, leaning against the RV's table with stressed hands cupping at his aching temples.
"The only thing we can do is scavenge and look for anything useful — more petrol might mean we can start some of these cars up and move them out the way," Ellie said quietly, her voice a mere squeak as she had feared her ideas had been foolish and unacceptable.
Shane ensured to agree with Ellie's idea, flashing her a thoughtful grin as a lightbulb lit above his head. He gripped firmly at Ellie's arm, and tugged her out of the RV to aim for the pile-up of cars. They briefly nodded at Glenn and Dale as they had been busy hovering over the hood of the RV, ensuring it had been running smoothly for their journey to continue. Once their path had been cleared, of course.
Shane halted ahead of a triad of unopened trucks, each large and plentiful in untainted and salvaged supplies. He flashed her a deep grin as he nudged her in the direction of a truck, designating her to a truck that lettered boldly "CHABLE & CO. DRIED FOODS AND PLEASANTRIES." Shane volunteered himself to the vehicle to the right of the large truck, proving to be an unexpected feat from a champion.
Shane's voice reverberated through hungry corners of their hollow skeletons, vibrating against them as he boomed, "Water!"
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