WILL EDIT THIS AGAIN LATERS. MY MIND IS A LITTLE DEAD FROM WRITING 2.5K WORDS :)

C H A P T E R   S I X

Nathan's hand tightly clasp with mine is the only thing that keeps my body moving forwards and weaving between the people on the busy street. My lungs burn and every breathe I breath in burns my lungs. I'm not out of shape, just not used to running so fast in a short amount of space without a warm up.

We come to a skidding halt in front of the restaurant. I sort of recognise the outside from the picture I viewed on the web. But standing outside the building in a dark lighting makes the place seem a lot different. Perhaps the photo was also old and didn't capture the recent exterior. Either way, Marina has a great eye for finding small, but popular restaurants nobody would think to go to.

I rest my hands on my thighs as I lean over and try to catch my breath. My chest unevenly lifts up and down and the air starts to fill back up. It feels nice to relax from pushing my muscles, but a weird sort of tingly feeling overcomes my body with makes shake my limbs and move for the entry door.

As we walk through the establishment, the warm air numbs my cold limbs and I suddenly realise that I'm still holding hands with Nathan. I don't want to throw his hand away like a sour reject, so I slowly drop his hand and then brush a section of my hair behind my ear smoothly.

I walk ahead of Nathan when I spot Marina and Michael at a table ahead of us. Marina is the first one out of the pair to jump up and come running over towards me. She locks me into a tight hug against her body, and then passes me over for Michael to do the same thing.

"Do sit," Michael says, as he gestures to the table behind us.

Nathan and I walk to the opposite side of the table and take our seats. I place my handbag on the ground near my feet as I shuffle in closer to the table. I look over to see Nathan taking a sip from his glass of water.

I don't get a chance to drink in my surroundings, because out of nowhere, a plate of food is placed in front of me. The sweat enticing aroma swirls through the air and instantly makes my stomach growl in hunger.

"You look famished." Marina comments.

"I probably don't eat the best on my down time," I admit. "I prefer being on tour in the respect as it's usually all organised for me. It's like being at home with your parents, you don't have to worry because your parents usually have something prepared, cooked and waiting on the table for you," I explain.

"At least you're being taken care of." Smiles Marina, "You need that nutritious food for such a busy schedule!"

"If she catches you eating unhealthy, she'll send you to her dietitian," whispers Nathan, "She's very big on eating healthy these days." Michel laughs along with Nathan and I watch Marina try and hold off a little pout from springing onto her face.

"I just want to ensure my boys have the energy to sustain their daily activities," she defends.

"And I think that's really sweet of you," I reply, "My manager is much the same, which is why I think of her as my tour mother."

"A mother away from home, I think we all need a beautiful people like that in our lives." Marina nods her head.

"She's great, but I do love my down time, though it's a bit weird at times. She's usually got me pinned down by the minute doing something." The table laughs and we then move to start to eat our meal.

"Tell me, Riley, how is your family?" Marina questions.

I quickly chew through my mouthful of pasta before addressing Marina on her questions.

"Everyone is amazing." I nod my head pleasantly, "Lucy is living in New York with me, and she's studying fashion. Hannah is in her last year of school, and doesn't know what to do yet. Dad is working away even more now, he's chasing some big case somewhere, which he appears to be enjoying. And Mom is herself, comes up her to visit on the occasions she can," I explain.

"Next time your mother comes to visit you, we should catch up sometime," Marina says excitedly.

"Next time, we could go to coffee or something," I agree.

"That sounds splendid."

"What's in the cards next for you, Riley?" Michael asks.

Since Nathan's family knows about my singing identity, it makes things a whole lot easier. Under strict agreements and contracts, it seemed essential for Michael and a few members of his security team at the hotel to know my identity but keep it quiet from getting out. Siting at this table with Nathan and his parents sort of seemed like the most normal thing I've done in a while.

I could never tell Alex's parents about my true identity, they just know me as that weird famous singer with a mask who has a heap of people chasing me for pictures. But I guess that would be normal considering their son is quiet famous himself.

"Downtime for two weeks because before the music awards. I'm sort of in the mist of planning my dress for the show and working on my next album." I smile.

"That sounds wonderful, how is that coming along?" he asks.

"Decent." I giggle. "I went shopping today for dress inspiration and finished a song before coming out," I explain.

"Best of luck with your endeavours, Riley, I'm sure you'll do an amazing job," compliments Michael.

The conversation flows throughout dinner, which is lovely and keeps the atmosphere friendly, interesting but also steals away time very quickly. We fly through dinner rather quickly and then we find ourselves saying goodbye.

As I stand up from my chair, I grab my handbag and follow Nathan's lead as he hugs his parents and then begins moving towards the exit doors.

"Sorry about all of the question," Nathan says.

"Its fine, I'm sure my mother would do the same." I giggle back.

Nathan and I would back out onto the street and immediately start walking back towards my apartment building. The streets are alive with the sound of car engines, chatter and light up in an aluminous light from the buildings, cars and overhead street lights.

It feels amazing to stand in the middle of a thick, thriving atmosphere. Sometimes it makes me feel alive, and slightly curious. My mind is over active and a majority of the time I wonder about the other people I sit or stand next to. I wonder what their stories are, their demons, and their dreams. I'm probably too curious for my own good!

A smile shiver rattles down my spine. My clothing choice probably isn't the best for a night out on the street, but we're close to home and it's not that cold. However, Nathan wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls my body closer to his.

The warmth from his body instantly hits me, and unconsciously, I find myself shuffling closer to him to soak in that free warmth. Perhaps I'm colder than what I though. But then again, I feel as if people are a bit like moths in that respect – drawn to heat.

"Thank you."

"That's okay." Nathan smiles down at me.

We walk a little further down the street when I hear my phone calling. The loud ringer of Fancy by Iggy Azalea beams through the night air. I quickly scramble through the junk in my bag to grab my flashing phone.

"Hello Alex." I smile.

I take a step away from Nathan and his arm falls from around my body. I look up towards his face and I see the hint of disappointment swirling through Nathan's eyes. A nasty, gunky feeling sloshes through me, and it makes me feel sick. I hate this feeling.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, "I've been so busy with everything, so this is the first free time I've had to call you. I miss you so much," he says.

"I understand, that's fine," I reply, "and I've missed you as well," I say quieter.

Alex tells me about the show he's just finished, apparently the crowd went wild and his heart is still in a beating frenzy. A few people tried to climb on the stage, and one managed to succeed, but Mitch intercepted before that person could get near him.

Mitch always has a tight grip on Alex's safety, and that's something that makes me feel relaxed when he's on tour. He always considers foreigner people as a threat until the situation has been neutralised or investigated – which isn't a bad thing. Just means a lot of our dates have had some funny twists to them.

"We got to shower today, which is great and I'm currently in bed," Alex explains.

"That's really good, Alex." I laugh, "Hopefully you're not disturbing the others while being on the phone to me?" I ask.

"They can deal with it." I can imagine Alex grinning madly and shrugging his shoulders carelessly. I hear a few voices in the background shouting, which makes me laugh again. One of the twins is shouting out something comical about Alex being sulking and alone since leaving me.

Alex shouts a reply in defence which seems to quiet the boys down.

"Where are you going to be tomorrow?" I ask.

"New state," he teases, "can't remember which one is next though."

"Don't you just hate that?" I add.

"I do," he agrees, "but the idea of going to sleep in one state and waking up in a completely new one is still just as exciting."

Alex chats a little more, tells me about something funny Mitch had done and what the boys were planning to do to Steve-o if he didn't allow them at least a few hours of one night to wind down and have fun. When I manage to get off the phone, we are standing outside my apartment building and I feel slightly embarrassed and very guilty to be standing in front of Nathan now.

"Sorry for that." I wave the phone in the air. I quickly pocket it to help salvage the situation between the two of us.

"I'll walk you inside so I know you got into your apartment safe," replies Nathan.

I open the door and start walking upstairs. Nathan follows me and it's sort of an awkward silence as we travel. All I can hear is the clicking of my shoes and his heavy breath behind me. Before I make it to the door, I search for my keys in my bag so when I stand in front, I can swiftly unlock it.

I push the door open and look at Nathan.

"Riley," he starts to say, but then drops his sentence there.

"What do you want, Nathan?" I ask.

"For the last couple of years Riley, you've never left my mind, not for a single damn moment. You're mean a lot to me, and I know that doesn't mean anything to you because you're with Alex and have been for a while, but." He instantly closes the gap between us and presses his lip against mine.

I stand there shocked and unmoving. One hand stays tightly clasped to my cheek while the other hand slowly inch towards my hair so that he can swirl his fingers through it. I feel the passion and the heat between our kiss, but I also don't know how to react. I'm stunned to the spot.

"I needed to do that at least once before I let you go tonight," he says.

"I'm sorry for leading you on again," are the first words to fall out of my mouth, "Alex."

"You haven't and I understand. I know your still with Alex, and I know what I'm getting myself into this time. I've spent two years not acting on these feelings and I don't want another day to pass like that."

"Then why did you let me go with Alex? Why did you leave me to believe you hated me all these years?" Questions and doubts flow through my mind.

"Because I understood that at that moment in your life, you needed Alex. But things that kept us apart appear to be changing, and I thought it was worth trying to give us a shot," he explains.

My mind feels like it's going to explode from all of Nathan's words. This is so much to lay down for me at the moment, and I don't know how to feel or accept any of this.

"I don't know." I bite my lip nervously.

"Tell me, would you still be with Alex tomorrow if you were dropped from the label right now?" he asks me.

I continue to chew on my lip nervously as I mull everything over in my mind. I'd need more than a few seconds and a passionate kiss if I was to decide to end my relationship with Alex. He might not be everyone's favourite, but we've been together for a long time, and that's a lot to throw away in a few seconds.

"I don't want to pressure you into being with me, but I just wanted to show you I'm an option and I don't mind waiting."

"What if I hurt you again?" I ask.

"At least I told you everything in my heart." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Nathan."

"Do what makes you happy, I've always said that."

"And by doing that, I always find myself in-between the two of you." I frown with dismay.

"I respect your relationship with Nathan, so I promise not to spontaneously kiss you again. And if you need time to think, that's okay as well. I understand the implications with the label and everything else tied with it," he continues to explain.

"What if I chose to be with Alex?" I ask, "I don't want you to be mad at me. I've been with him for a while now, and I can't just walk away from that." This conversation is tearing me in two, again.

"I could never hate you, mad and a little upset, possibly." He chuckles nervously.

"You say this now," I tease.

"Time is always the future. You're always worth waiting for."

"Nathan-"

"Just think about it," he cuts me off.

"Goodnight?"

"Goodnight." He smiles pleasantly.

I awkwardly wave and close the door. I press my forehead against the door and take a deep breath. What am I doing to myself? I move away from the door, grab my guitar, my notebook and head into my bedroom to sit somewhere comfortably.

Feelings felt better on paper rather than jumbled up in my mind.