Chapter Ten

The functionality between my fingers and my brain loses connection. Somehow, instead of writing a bluff to get me out of something turns into an acceptance speech. Yes throws my head spinning into a colossal damage. I can't believe I agreed to do this.

'Meet in 20?' – is the next reply to buzz onto my screen.

'See you then.' – Riley.

I exit out of the conversation between Nathan and I, and open the previous one with Alex and start explaining my day to him. Sometimes when we can't call for a chat, I message him about my day and how things are going.

'Hi,' is the first thing I manage to type into the speech bubble before I lose my thoughts and contemplate what to write. 'How is your day?' That's not the sprits up type of message I intend to write, but I know it'll do. I click send and then start writing about me to update him on my progress.

'I've finished a few songs, the record label loves them! They think the concept of the roller coaster is brilliant, and they'd like to make that the theme of the album. Finally something we're seeing eye to eye. The record label has given me the day off to "recharge". Nathan and I have decided to go to coffee that should be fun! I'm craving chocolate and some time out of my apartment. I miss you more than ever, have a great day x' – Riley.

Locking the screen, I toss it onto the bed beside me as I roll towards the side and get off. I charge towards the bathroom while forming ideas of how I want to do my hair and make-up. Something simple like some eye make-up and perhaps a ponytail to get the hair out of my face.

Clothing is an easy choice for me. I've fallen in love with my new high waist jeans that are a grey wash with small fashionably placed rips along the knees and thigh area. Along with the jeans I have a cropped floral shirt and a white cardigan with lace trimming. I pair this with a sparkly flower ring, a silver bangle and a pair of white plates.

I'd gone to rebelling against the latest fashion trends and escaping into oversized band shirts to accessorising my clothing with sparkly jewelry. Has my brain been changed, or is this what happens when you grow up?

Within fifteen minutes, I'm walking out the door with my bag hanging off my shoulder and my door keys jingling in my hands. I have five minutes to get to the coffee house to be in time. I hope Nathan knows I'm going to be late. Keeping time isn't a skill I've jet managed to master.

I dash and weave through the crowd. Some people step out of my way, but most just walk along their paths without care or urgency. I feel like I'm swimming against the tide. But I make it to the coffee shop with no time to spare. As I walk inside, I find people moving shuffling around and chatting to other people.

"Riley, over hear." My attention is drawn to a booth in the corner with Nathan perched on a seat.

I smile with recognition as I walk over and slip into the opposite seat.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologise.

"You're okay." He shrugs off, "giving you twenty minutes to get ready and travel here, that was a long shot." He chuckles.

"So true." I nod my head.

"Two iced chocolates." The waiter smiles and places two tall glasses on the table before walking away.

"I hope you like it," he says.

"Thanks, anything chocolate is good with me." I take the glass and move it closer to me so that I can inspect the content. There's a scoop of ice-cream and a thick layer of cream swirled on top with a dusting of chocolate powder. My stomach rumbles and my mouth waters, this looks amazing.

"Chocolate makes everything better."

"Dark chocolate is good for your health, so I think is should be included in your daily diet." I nod my head with approval.

"How's that working for you?" asks Nathan.

"Ava has yet to approve." I sink further into my chair and frown.

"I've always wanted to know. Are you on a strict diet?" he asks.

"Sure, all I get is air." I suck in air while pulling a funny face. "Just kidding, I eat what I want and am encourage to lead a healthy lifestyle to keep fit for the job and just be healthy. Ava doesn't preach what she doesn't do, and I respect that," I explain.

"Ava's always been pretty cool." He nods his head with agreement.

"So how about a chocolate muffin?" I smile with hope.

"Already ordered, should be on its way!"

"What having I been doing without you?" I tease.

"I don't know." A small blush filters to his cheeks.

As Nathan starts mixing his drink around, I open my bag to check my phone. I click on the screen and find no messages from Alex, nothing. I know he said he was fine with me hanging around with Nathan, but I still worry about what he's thinking.

"Worried about work?" His eyes dash down to the table, then back to my face. I quickly close my bag and draw my attention back to his face.

"Just checking, I'm expecting the record label to demand something from me," I joke.

"For once day, you should leave that mobile behind and just escape from everything, have fun," Nathan encourages.

"This is me having fun." I tug on a smile.

No reply from Alex is eating up my inside and leaving a guilty feeling behind. I want to know what he's up to and what he's thinking. He's never taken this long to reply, so I'm worried.

"Maybe you should work harder?" He raises an eyebrow.

"I shall endeavor, Mr. Archibald." I poke my tongue out.

Breakfast is delivered to the table – my favourite serve of pancakes along with a chocolate chip muffin with is slightly heated up and gooey on the inside. I do not hold back and just eat away. I throw jokes at Nathan, and he does the same with me.

"Tell me," I say, "What have you been doing these past years?" I ask.

"Finally got out of delivering and into the mucky business side of things. Mainly property development for establishing new hotels," he explains.

"No more follow up trips?" I pout with disappointment.

"Unfortunately, just business ones," he sadly says, "but you're always welcome to wait on me."

"Sure buddy, I charge by the second though." I wink back.

"I expect quality service then."

"Oh." I place my hand over my heart, "Nothing but the best, but you'll have to share your pancakes with me."

"I'll be sure to order extra then."

I give him a thumbs up, then return to eating my food. I swirl the last piece of pancake through the syrup and place the last strawberry on top before eating it. I places my cutlery on the plate and push it to the side next to my empty drink cup.

"Thanks for breakfast." I smile.

"Your welcome."

"What do you want to do next?" I ask.

"Not phased." He shrugs his shoulders.

I sink back into my chair and slyly check my phone. Still no new messages from Alex, what could he possibly be doing? I zip my bag back up as I stand up.

"Movie at my house then? We used to have great fun yelling at the characters on the screen." I smile.

I'm not sure if I'm asking because I want it to be a therapeutic experience rather than catch-up with Nathan. I want to scream at something because I do not understand why Alex could possibly not answer his messages, it's been ages.

"Sure." Nathan nods his head.

I shuffle out of the booth and quickly fix my clothing before progressing outside of the hole in the wall café. Nathan and I walk down the pathway within a close proximity because of the clusters of people racing up and down. Our fingers brush on the odd step which sends tingles shooting up my arm.

When we get to the street crossing, I stand with Nathan and look around to make sure it's clear to walk. He lightly wraps his arm around my waist, tugging my close to his body. I frown and look up at him.

"Careful," he says, looking to the group of teenagers who go balling past in a mad rush.

"Oh, thanks." Reluctantly, he removes his arm from around my waist.

We cross the street and walk down another pathway. When we get closer to my apartment block, Nathan grabs the tips of my fingers and pulls my body behind his. We start running toward it as we dash and weave between the clumps of people surrounding us.

With giggles and short breath, we slip inside the building and continue our fast pace run towards my floor. Nathan comes to a skidding halt in front of my door causing me to crash into the side with him. He securely wraps his arms around my body, and presses me tightly against his chest.

"Are you okay?" One hand clasps the side of my face and his beautiful cobalt blue eyes bore into mine.

"Sure, thanks." I smile.

His face subtly leans in closer, his breath fanning against my flushed cheeks. I can feel the electricity pounding through the air and charging through my body. As I see his face creeping towards mine, the surging charge of electricity becomes bolts of guilt panging in my stomach.

"We should head inside." I take a step back and immediately turn my attention towards my bag as I search for my door keys.

"Sounds like a pleasant idea." He nods his head swiftly.

I place the keys in the door and unlock the bolt before entering the space. The familiarity of the room gives me the confidence to take a deep breath to relax. But when my eyes fall upon Alex, my breath gets caught up and a choke out a labored breath.

"Alex."

"Riley, Nathan." He pleasantly says.

The electric bolts in my stomach intensifies, but I'm so happy to see Alex standing in my apartment building despite what just took place a couple of feet away.

"I can't believe you're here." I smile.

"We had some lay over time before the next concert, so I wanted to surprise you. I got your favourite flowers too." He passes me a beautiful bunch of an assortment of different shade of pink flowers. I have many favourite flowers and Alex managed to pick out two of them at least.

"Thank you, these are beautiful flowers." I smile.

I gratefully accept the flowers and head into the kitchen to find a pot to put them into water.

"How long are you staying?" I ask.

"For the night, then an early fly out tomorrow."

"Nathan and I were thinking about having a movie marathon, we could order lunch in a couple of hours," I suggest, but we both know this is very awkward for everyone.

We Nathan walked out on me in the change room, he walked straight out of Alex's life that night as well and without anything as a word or goodbye. From our hectic tour schedules and everything else in-between, I'd say this is the first time they've been in the same room again and it stink of awkwardness.

"I should head off, I actually remembered I have work to do." He shrugs his shoulders apologetically.

I know this isn't pleasant for anyone, but he could have made a better excuse then that one.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Alex points over his shoulder with an awkward half smile.

"Okay." I lay the flowers on the bench and walk over toward Nathan.

"You don't have to leave, Nathan, you can stay. Maybe it'll be good for you two to reconnect and-" I'm cut off by Nathan's soft and reassuring voice.

"I don't want to intrude. You clearly miss Alex and he doesn't have a lot of time before he flies out. Myself on the other hand, I'll still be here tomorrow waiting for you." I can't help but find the double meaning in his words – Nathan would always wait, so it seemed.

I loved the idea of that perfect moment where we suddenly find our pathways realigned and good to reconnect on the level we both thought we'd someday take, but with Alex here and my feelings quiet attached to him, that perfect moment doesn't sound so perfect after all.

"You can't wait forever for me." I bite my lip out of habit.

"It's my choice, Riley, and I want to." He shrugs his shoulders and smiles genuinely. "I'd always wait for a perfect girl like you."

"Me, perfect, hardly." I shake my head and look at the ground.

"Being perfect doesn't always mean you have to live up to a certain beautify standard. You're perfect to me because you constantly defy the rules placed by social expectations, and that's what I love about you."

The toilet flushes, jarring the moment and swirling us back to our awkward atmosphere.

"I'll get out of your hair and see you soon, maybe you could come to my place? My mother is dying to see you again. She's really missed you over the years."

"Your place? I didn't think your parents owned a house." I giggle.

"Just something small, my parents are never home though, they're always off at the hotel."

"Since when do you live in New York, anyways?" I ask.

"My parents have properties everywhere, don't be too surprised if I pop up in Cali or woopwoop," he teases.

"I'll have happy for the company then."

"I'll get out of your hair, see you soon." He smiles fondly.

Nathan quickly wraps my in his arms for a tight short hug before excusing himself out the door without much more of a fuse.

As the door closes, Alex submerges from the bathroom.

"Is he gone?" asks Alex.

"Yeah, Mr. Obvious." I shake my head with disgrace.

"I was giving you space to do whatever," Alex says without a care.

"Well, thanks."

I move my attention back to finding a pot. There's a slender glass tucked under the kitchen sink that I put fill halfway with water before putting the plants inside.

"How are you?" he asks.

"Fine."

"Really?"

Our eyes briefly connect before parting and looking away. My encounter with Nathan and the sudden appearance of Alex has left an unsettling feeling looming over my feelings, one I can't seem to shake.

"I was worried," I state.

"About what?" he asks curiously.

"You never messaged me back, I was afraid you were angry with me."

"I trust you." But I don't trust myself.

Over the years, I had many different feelings towards Alex. There were moments I wanted to kill him, slap, snuggle, avoid, and just plain old love him. Alex made things seem impossible while being possible at the same time.

He walks around the kitchen bench and stands behind me. The scent of his aftershave consumes me like a drunk cloud and I find myself falling into an old habit. I'd put myself right in the middle of two. But the moment his lips touch my forehead, the feelings I'd surprised come rocketing back to the surface.

My heart ached for many different reasons, one of them was from missing Alex over the time he's been done.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, Riley." Alex holds me tightly in his arms, which is a different feeling I get from being wrapped up in Nathan's. Stability, hope, reassurance, warmth and so many more feelings build me back up.

"Movie?" I ask.

"Splendid idea." He nods, "I just want to hold you in my arms all night."

Alex and I move towards the couch and start setting up the area for a movie. I head straight to the cabinet to look through movies while Alex walks into my bedroom to grab a blanket for us. As I look through the movies, I find the perfect romance movie I know Alex is going to hate.

"What about this movie?" I call out as I wave the movie case in the air.

"Are you positive you want to watch that movie again?" he asks.

"Yes." I nod my head, "I love this movie." I bounce around on my toes excitedly. The cast is amazing, the acting is perfect and the story line gets me every time. It's a sad tragic movie, but I love it all the same.

"Fine." He pouts, plopping onto the couch.

"What are you looking at me like that?" I ask.

"Because you have this excited cute look on your face, and I find it very adorable."

My face drops, "What do you mean?"

"I love the way your eyes light up, they are a pretty blue. And your smile, baby, your smile makes my heart want to explode with the amount of feelings it gives me."

"What else do you love about me?"

Alex pushes himself off the couch and then steps in front of me. With one hand, he cups my cheek and says, "I love you just the way you are." He causally kisses my forehead, then pinches the movie out of my hand.

Just like Alex said his heart wanted to explode, so did mind. Alex had used the L word, and I have too many feelings to process.

"I'll put it on, and don't steal my spot," he warns in a teasing tone.

"Fine, but I want lots of cuddles then." I grin excitedly.

"Cuddles all night, you won't be able to leave my arms."

Alex puts the movie into the machine, then grabs the remote from the table. We takes a seat on the end, then opens his arms. I place a cushion on his lap and I snuggle up. Alex pulls the blanket over my shoulder just in time for the opening credits.

"I love you," he whispers.

With his words swirling through my brain, I felt happy and safe in his arms.

"I love you too."