On the walk back to my apartment, I have to keep looking to my side to check if Nathan is really walking beside me. I've longed for the moment we'd meet again, I have so many things I want to say, so many things to straighten out so that we can both move forwards. Perhaps the closure between the two of us will help me with this new album concept I'm supposed to submit tonight or just another distraction to keep me from the sucky world of reality.

I open my apparent door and flick the lights on. The lights instantly fill every inch of the space with a bright glowing light. I walk inside and signal for Nathan to continue walking. I carefully watch Nathan's reaction to my place. It's a bit of a mess, but it's a creative one as I like to call it.

"I like the place." He nods his head.

"Thank you."

The apartment is relatively small, but I guess that's the usual for this city. I'm hardly here, so doesn't matter, I just want a place to call home and a retreat of my own when I'm recording music here. Hotel rooms are great for a night, but never really a place to call yours. I'd managed to convert this place into my space.

The owner of the building was fine with the changes I wanted to make, in fact he seemed excited by the bright colours and design choice. I quickly implemented a nice style and over the last couple of months, the wall space has been taken over by ripped pieces of paper as I started placing and constructing my album. I'd taken the concept of a pin-up board and redefined it.

"Can I?"

"I thought you were here to make pancakes?" I tease.

"But your creative wall looks much more appealing," he replies.

"If you're a good boy, maybe I'll singing you a song."

"I think I spy my name." As Nathan goes to step closer, I slip in front of him and block his view from my wall. Nathan was a big part of my history, it just seems fitting he'd make it onto the album I was working on.

"I think I hear the kitchen calling you." I smile.

The happy smile slips off his face, and it replaced with a cheeky, mysterious one which makes my stomach churn with excited, thrilled nerves.

"I'll make sure I hear this song before I leave tonight," he says.

"You better start making those amazing pancakes then." I show Nathan to the kitchen, along with giving him a light tour of the kitchen and where everything is. When he appears confident in what he's doing, I head to the other side of the kitchen bench and settle on the stool.

While Nathan is busy adding ingredients together, I pull out my notebook and rest it on the table in front of me. I flick to the most recent page and scribble the date at the top and a title for the headspace.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm working," I reply.

"On?"

"I need a song for the record label tonight. They aren't pleased with the concept and songs I presented yesterday, so I'm starting from scratch."

"Was it that bad?" He frowns in disbelief, "That's odd."

"They're scared." I shrug my shoulders, "Everyone is scared at some point."

Nathan adjust his attention back to the bowl of ingredients in front of him. He picks up the whisk and places it in the mixture. His hand tightly drips the whisk and he falls into a rhythm to beat it all together. My eyes train on his face, and the way he's intensely frowning down at the mixture. I can see the aggression flowing through his body, down his arm and into the power of the mixer. I hold my tongue and wait.

"I regret leaving you in the dressing room, but I don't regret escaping to my own path," he admits aloud. "I just need closure for the way you treated me." He looks up from the batter and stares at me.

"There's a part of me that's always wanted to be with you, Nathan. The same selfish part that couldn't risk losing you. You remind me of home is, and I didn't want to lose it," I reply.

"Home is where the heart is." Nathen quietly chuckles.

"That explains why nothing has never felt like home then," I say.

"What about Alex? You've been with him for almost two years, hasn't he captured your heart." Nathan goes into disbelief, and I don't blame him. It's an odd thing to hear after years, in a way, I'd be the same way. But since I laid upon him, it's never been a fair fight.

"It's been tough, but how are relationships ever smooth sailing without the waves to keep them moving?" I shrug my shoulders, "The record label want us together since we create good music and even better headlines." Frowning, I shake my head and stare down the bench.

"Then why are you still with the label?" questions Nathan.

"Nobody knows the power they possess until they, themselves, have been placed in the same position."

When Nathan frowns, I know I have his attention, so I continue to explain what I mean. "The night you left, I went on to perform. The audio was tampered with and they played a section from a previous interview. I was quick to think Alex has done something. And for a while, I thought I couldn't trust him. But I realised Alex has always spoken the truth to me, I just didn't understand everything he would tell me."

"And that was?"

"That we're all their puppets, even Ava. And they certainly don't like it when their puppets don't play by the script." The record label hated it when I'd tried to seek out a relationship with Nathan, I'd hate to know what would have happened if I continued to walk blind fully along that road. What would have happened to all of us?

"I'm sorry." I momentarily ignore his comment and press forwards with my explanation.

"They don't see you as individual artists, but as dollar bills and how much they can make off you. My contract expires in a couple of months, so I'm questioning and pushing it for as long as I can. Trying to make them think I'm smoothing out the bumps, but I have no plans to sign with them again," I say.

Nathan lets out a throaty chuckles, which makes me smile in return, "When do people ever see you as anything else but an opportunity or a gain?" he questions.

I nod my head in agreement and add, "If I had known what I know now, maybe I'd have stayed record less until I found something better. I was naïve."

"Why didn't you try and quit earlier if you hate being there so much?" By this time, Nathan has finished beating the mix and progressed to placing a frying pan on the stove cooker and added a lump of butter to coat the pan.

"Because I couldn't find a loop hole to get out. If I cancelled the contract, I would have lost everything and nowhere to go. I stayed because it was a lesson I needed to learn; don't be brought at the right price, it's never worth losing everything. Now I know the industry a little more, and have the life skills to apply later on."

"At least you can still view the bright side," he calls over his shoulder.

"I feel like I lost it all, but I'm walking away as a better person." I've spent the last couple of years paying my dues and exploring what I want in life and a career. It took losing myself to find what I really needed. Perhaps I wasn't lost to begin with, but never found. Maybe we've never been lost, but not quit found yet. That's the horrible thing about change. Is it the end or is it the start?

"What do you have left owing on the contract?"

"One more album, and I don't necessarily need to promote it with tours, I found the loop hole there. I'll write this silly album, then walk with my rights intact." I drop my pen on the book and look towards the pancakes cooking away in the pan.

"And what after that?" Nathan wiggles the pan, then throws the half cooked pancake up in the air. It twirls through the air before landing on the uncooked side.

"I can chose to disappear without a trace, live off the money or return as myself."

"What about her?"

I eye off the masked sunken in my bag, "Nobody liked he to begin with, they didn't realise or understand how tough you needed to be in this industry." I huff in dismay, "The only people who want me to be here is the record, and that's because they don't like uncertain changes."

Nathan nods his head to alert me to keep talking, he busies himself with placing a fresh pancake in the pan.

"They want another carbon print of her, but I'm not her anymore, I've grown up since then. Perhaps I just want someone to give me away so this can all end." I deflate and sink into the back of my chair.

"You weren't too bad back then," he tries to say.

"I was selfish, and I hated that."

"You were true to yourself and what you wanted. People hate what they don't understand or can't be. Perhaps that's why I was always drawn to both personas?" He winks back at me.

Before our conversation can progress, Nathan's phone beeps in his back pocket. He quickly abandons the stove to grab out his phone to check the message. He reads it, and then turns to face me.

"I have to go, sorry, parents are waiting for me, or something," he mutters.

"Oh, that's fine." I weakly smile back.

Nathan slides the cooked pancake onto the stack and then turns the stove off. He brings the plate to the counter, and in a quick string of moments, he tops the pancakes with syrup and a slice of ice-cream.

"You can always cook the rest up when you're free," he adds.

"Thank you, I'll show you to the door." I quickly climb off my chair and walk towards the front door with Nathan pinning at my heels. Opening the door, Nathan slips past, but hesitates in the hallway before walking off.

"Sorry." I bite my lip nervously.

"For what?" he asks.

"Hurting you."

"You were worth it." I catch the small smile on his lips before it vanishes.

"I'm here for the next two weeks planning my dress for the music awards, and visiting Lucy. We should hang out again," I suggest, but it comes out wrong and more demanding.

"I would love that, to see you again, of course." He bites his tongue, but smiles brightly at me. My heart thumps away in my chest as I begin to see the Nathan I'd know so many years previously.

"Until then?" I ask.

"Until then." He nods his head.

As quick as he'd walked back into my life, he'd walked down the hall and disappeared back into the bustling city of New York. Goodbye isn't forever when the promise for tomorrow is hanging around the corner.