Bonuses for this round:

First entry: Blayze Lesatia

Best kill:

Best ending: Celynne Varr

Contestant 1, Eristalle Akerri:

I didn't dare allow myself to lose confidence, that would be a sin. I had gotten this far, and I was more than willing to do whatever it took to win. I had to win, I had to prove myself.

I had to find the Queen.

I thought about Blayze - I mean Blade, I don't blame her for despising her name - and Adrian, they were my enemies in this. I would have to eliminate them, and I would make sure that I enjoyed it.

I walked at a steady pace, checking the corners of the path before walking around to it. For about a minute, I was undisturbed, allowed to figure out a plan.

And, I had one. I always had one, you're useless if you can't think fast. It wasn't foolproof, and so I dismissed it for the time being.

It wasn't long before I became impatient, aching to find her highness among the fakes. I hadn't seen any Codes, yet. I hadn't seen any Rhenan forest stompers, but that was good. I needed to find one of the other contestants, first.

I was about to turn a corner, when I froze in my tracks. There was a Code.

Or, maybe it was the Queen.

No, I told myself. The Queen would be more in the center. So, that way it would be fairer for everyone to get close to her.

The Queen may be unfair, but she had no reason to be that unfair, by being closer to one contestant than the other.

My mind returned to my current situation, my heart beating as blood pumped through my veins.

I was about to kill this Code.

I used my aura to create a bow and arrow, but with a twist.

I loved adding twists.

My arrows were tipped with disorientation, which meant the Code would end up feeling very nauseous if I hit it with an arrow.

Usually, I did enjoy challenging myself a little more, but finding the Queen was my priority. If this task wasn't so serious, I wouldn't be using my creative little aura. I prefered waiting until the last minute for more of an adrenaline rush.

Anyways, the Code had their back turned to me, when I shot it with my arrow. Though, it would have been fun to see it's shock when the arrow hit it. The arrow landed itself in the Code's back, and it was completely lodged in there.

The Code turned around to face me, already stumbling due to the disorientation taking over its mind. The Queen's lookalike attempted to charge towards me, but it tripped as the dizziness became too much for it to handle.

Pathetic Rhenan Code.

At least I knew it wasn't the Queen. It would take a lot more to bring down her majesty.

Using my aura, again, I created a knife. I walked over to the Code, not sure whether to feel revolted, or to feel pity. I grabbed its arm, and slit it with my knife. I smirked, inspecting the patterns of blood ooze its way down. The Code seemed too drowsy to speak, and I felt like having a laugh.

"Would you like me to end your misery? I will if you don't answer."

Of course, the Code didn't answer.

I cackled, as i stabbed the knife into the Code's back. It slumped down, not moving, not breathing, nothing.

Proud of myself, I got up, and resumed to walking. I felt a lot more confident, but I needed a way to decipher the difference between her highness and the Codes.

I eventually brought myself to find one of the other contestants, it would help with my plan. I had an idea on how to kill two birds with one stone, and I really wanted to kill those birds and make delicious bird-pie.

I took a risk, feeling adventurous, and began to run. There didn't seem to be anything for miles, and I was certain that I could take anything on.

I found a small opening, where there weren't many walls. I peered past the corner, careful not to be seen if there was anyone on the other side of the wall.

"Get off!" I heard a female yell, "Stupid forest stomper!"

I giggled, at the girl's whining. Then, I realised...

I had to help her.

Help? Yes, you heard me correctly. I know, helping people wasn't in my blood. Although, betrayal was...

My bow had disintegrated after use, since it was created by my aura, and so had my knife. Though, I effortlessly created a spear.

What an unusual choice of weapon.

Trust me, it'll make sense.

I appeared out of the corner, seeing Blayze - Blade - struggling against a forest stomper as it clutched onto her with its extravagantly enormous hands.

Both she and the creature acknowledged me standing there.

"Eristalle!" She yelled, "If you set me free, I owe you one!"

Oh, I'll set you free, alright...

"Don't worry, I'll save you from the stupid animal!" I promised, sprinting towards it, with my spear aimed at its chest.

Though, with a few seconds to spare, I changed my target.

I changed it to Blade.

Her eyes widened in panic, "What are you-"

The sound of the spear driving through her heart was like music to my ears.

Really good music.

The impact was so strong, that she was knocked out of the monster's grip, and she went flying to the floor. As I was holding onto the spear, I catapulted along with her, right over the Stomper's hand.

Blood poured everywhere, and as soon as the spear disintegrated, her wound's blood came squirting out like a fountain. I cringed, grimaced, and grinned at the same time. I dragged the body, and picked it up. I chucked it at the Rhenan forest stomper, and it gratefully feasted on the scrumptious corpse.

I watched the International WarMatch a few years ago, the one with Shade Alestra and Cascadia Ervine.

It was the most thrilling experience of my life. I watched as Shade threw a dead body at a stomper, and it instantly became her loyal pet.

That's exactly what I just did.

Rhenan forest stompers are extremely primitive creatures, they become loyal to whoever feeds them...

And, I just took full advantage of that fact.

Once the creature had finished its meal, it kneeled down to me, as if I were its owner... Well, I was, now.

I climbed on top, and I could now see over the top of the walls. I watched all of the Codes, and all of the stompers. I could also see Adrian and Sapphire, working their way through the maze.

My gaze landed on a Code, completely identical to all of the others. My gaze was drawn to this particular Code, as it seemed more lively than the others. It seemed to walk just that tiny bit quicker, and it seemed to be just that tiny bit prettier, and it seemed to be just that tiny bit more alert.

I smirked, a gut instinct that this was my Queen. My wonderful ruler, and the one who owed me a million Duvats.

Okay, that was slightly too confident, even for me.

"That way, Nahali!" I roared, pointing in a certain direction.

Nahali meant "Story" in old Lessaenite. I thought it was a pretty suitable name for the forest stomper, as it was a part of my story. From being accepted as a contestant, all the way through to each phase. I was one of the favourites, and, I was currently in second place. That had to mean something.

This was my story, and this was my forest stomper. This was my ticket to winning.

Nahali ran at full speed, galloping in the directions that I pointed to. I didn't dare lose the Code - or, Queen. Not that I possibly could, she had a glint in her tired eyes that I just couldn't forget.

It was a glint of expectancy, patience, power...

And, evil.

Cruelty, betrayal, a lust for bloodshed and just pure evil.

I'd had two kills in my time in the maze, and that was by far not enough. So, I told Nahali to slow down slightly, just so that I could stab each and every forest stomper and Code that was in my sight.

Although my vision was blurred, I was still focused enough to stab them right in the head.

That's one way to kill them with one shot.

My knife was tipped with salt, both which I had created with my aura.

So, when I stabbed them, I had literally rubbed salt into their wounds. Ever heard of that phrase?

I wished that I could stick around long enough to watch their bodies drop like dominoes, but I couldn't.

I had a task which I had no intention of failing.

I could almost smell my victory, and it smelled like the Queen, just like her aroma in the interview. Of course, that wasn't possible, all her scents and differences were disguised.

But, I could imagine it as if it was real.

Nahali stopped, when I patted her head. I slid off her muscular frame, and stood in front of what I strongly believed was the Queen.

I needed to make sure...

"Your highness?" I asked, cringing at the thought that I was wrong.

Her back was turned to me, but as soon as I called her name, she replied, "How do you know It's me?"

I was mentally taken back, astonished.

"I guess, an idiot would say that it's because you're talking to me, but everyone knows that it could be one of the Icehearts talking through the Code."

She just nodded, nothing to indicate whether it was her, or not.

"You didn't answer my question." She said, rotating to face me.

I stuttered, "W-Well, it's kind of hard not to notice the Queen... There's just something about you, that can be noticed from miles away. What drew me to you...was your eyes."

Her purple eyes widened, and I knew that they had to be real.

You can't fake such menacing eyes.

"They're full of, misery, sadism, evil, cruelty, loyalty, and...they're unique." I finished, trembling throughout my small figure.

She smiled, seeming to have an undertone of surprise and happiness.

"Well, I suppose you won Phase 3."

"What?" I asked, "Did you just say-"

"Eristalle Akerri is the winner of Phase 3!" Her majesty stared at the cameras, as did I.

"Wow, I don't know what to say..."

"Then, don't say anything, and just smile at the camera." She snapped, but it was more playful with a small quiver of aggression.

I just won.

I just won Phase 3.

................................

Feedback:

Saralee Relasay Arystenn: You had an interesting strategy for finding me, perhaps the most interesting of them all, and scarily accurate...I certainly agree that my eyes are the most defining part of me. They were the first thing I noticed when I looked in the mirror after my Iceheart Surgery, and quite honestly, I wouldn't be half as terrifying without them. This was another top notch entry from one of our best contestants. I'll give you a 9.

Selaeyah Valior: This was a very captivating entry, but I felt that your ending was quite abrupt, and followed an overused pattern. I was almost disappointed to see a conclusion like that for such a well written piece. I'll give you an 8.

Final score: 9+8= 17.

.................................

Contestant 5, Adrian Karrski:

DID NOT TURN IN

Contestant 6, Celynne Varr:

I had never been more nervous in my life.

I was stuck waiting inside a tiny room, sitting on a small metal chair, with nothing but the camera in the corner of the room for company. The silence didn't do anything to calm my nerves, either.

I smoothed down my hair for the hundredth time, tapping my foot nervously.

A sudden clicking noise broke the silence, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.

My head jerked up to see that the door in the front of my room had opened.

The message was clear. I promptly stood up and left the room.

The moment both my feet were on the other side of the doorway, the door behind me slammed shut, leaving me in a darkened hallway.

It was clearly set up this way for dramatic purposes, as I couldn't see anything yet.

I took a few tentative steps forward, my heart pounding in my chest. The third phase hadn't even begun, but I was already scared.

Suddenly, the hallway flooded with light, revealing not just the end of this hallway, but many hallways that stemmed from the one I stood in. One branch began directly to the left of me.

However, this wasn't the only noticeable thing in the hallway.

Directly in front of me, stood none other than Queen Saralee herself.

She smiled, her trademark cold, sadistic smirk on her lips.

"Welcome, contestant, to the final phase of the Million Duvat Endeavor. The maze you are in has no exit. To win, you must find me," the queen stated.

For a moment, she stood in front of me, motionless. I stared blankly in front of me, trying to decipher her words. Was this some sort of riddle? The queen was standing not two feet from me. What did she mean I had to find her?

I briefly registered a flash of silver from behind the queen, but before I could think too much on it, a giant hand reached out over the queen's shoulder.

I failed to stifle a scream as a ten foot figure emerged from the darkness, staring straight at me.

A forest stomper.

Forgetting everything around me, I stumbled back, my back slamming against the locked door.

I watched in horror as the monster behind the queen lifted her up and opened its mouth widely.

I screwed my eyes shut, and felt warm liquid splatter against my face.

When I opened my eyes again, the beast was in full view. However, instead of the queen, an unfamiliar figure lay in the hands of the forest stomper, bluish tinged blood flowing from where it's head used to be. 

One thing was for certain: That wasn't Queen Saralee.

The word code drifted across my mind, but my main concern was escaping without becoming forest stomper food.

While it was occupied by the Saralee imposter, I swiftly but quietly turned and ran down the hallway to my left.

Once I was certain I was a safe distance away, I stopped to catch my breath.

The hallway in which I stood was filled with Saralee clones, all wandering aimlessly through the various pathways.

I clenched my teeth in frustration. There was no way I'd be able identify the real queen.

A lay a quivering hand on my heart as I tried to calm myself.

Just then, I noticed a new figure appear in my line of sight.

Instinctively, I summoned an aura dagger into my hand, preparing myself to attack.

The newcomer glanced up, noticing me. The girl's ice blue eyes filled with fierce determination. I recognized her as Blayze Lesatia.

Luckily, I had the advantage. I had seen her first. Before she could react, I pinned her against the wall behind her, and swung the blade at her face.

I flinched away as purple blood splattered on to my face and shirt. A sigh of annoyance escaped my lips. This was the second time today I had gotten blood on myself.

As I stepped away from Blayze's body, I couldn't help but feel guilty. Thankfully, it didn't make me feel quite as bad as killing the phase two contestants.

From behind me, I heard the sound of movement.

Instinctively, I whipped around, but I didn't get the chance to attack. Instead, the only thing I saw was the fleeting image of a girl sprinting in the opposite direction.

For a moment, I considered following her, but quickly decided against it.

I knew I would inevitably have to kill someone, but after phase two, I wasn't so confident in myself. With a heavy sigh, I turned away from Blayze, and resumed my search for the real Saralee.

As I trudged away from Blayze's body, an uneasy feeling formed in my gut. I had pulled a stupid move back there. I made a mental decision to never grant a contestant mercy ever again. That girl could have just found the real Saralee.

Once I became lost again within the passages of the maze, I approached a random code.

I approached the code closest to me, just to inspect it.

The code looked identical to the queen. It was an exact replica, down to the calculating, yet vicious stare in her violet, red-flecked eyes.

I glanced down at the dagger, still clutched between my fingers. An idea popped into my mind. Surely, Queen Saralee would act differently in battle than a code would. 

However, before I could strike, a piercing scream rang out, echoing off the maze walls.

Forgetting all about the code, I let my arm fall and sprinted down the hallway. The screaming sounded extremely close. Possibly only a few passages away from me.

Following my instinct had proved to be the right decision. I turned left, and saw a contestant backed into a corner by a forest stomper.

Eloni Sempta was flat against the wall, desperately trying to stab the hideous beast. The latter had the clear advantage, but Eloni was still putting up a decent fight.

The forest stomper finally managed to grab its target. It lifted up a shrieking Eloni and bit off her head, effectively ending the screaming.

While I remained unseen, I snuck up behind the forest stomper.

It took my mind a few seconds to register what happened next. One moment, I was raising my dagger, and the next, an arrow had whizzed past my head and lodged itself into the silver skin of the forest stomper.

Once I had processed this, I spun around, only to become face to face with Adrian Karrski.

I didn't have enough time to react. Adrian's wicked grin was the final thing I saw, before I felt myself falling and slamming against the solid ground.

My vision blurred as my head hit the cold stone below. I felt myself slowly slipping away from consciousness. From where I lay, I could vaguely make out the shape of the forest stomper making a meal out of the dozens of codes. I watched as one of the codes effortlessly stood up after being flung against the wall, and resumed walking around aimlessly. However, a nearly invisible tear remained on the code's sleeve.

That code should be dead, I thought to myself. As I lay on the ground, helpless, dismay fell over me. I could have won. The prize was so close, yet so, impossibly far.

I heard Adrian's voice above me, laughing.

I expected myself to fall unconscious, but I didn't. In fact, Adrian's triumphant face was becoming clear once more. A faint glimmer of hope remained.

"...stupid. I knew you were useless, but I actually overestimated you! I'm surprised you made it this far," Adrian was saying.

Fury erupted inside of me. I was not going to die this way. I was not going to give my sister and everyone else back home the satisfaction of being right.

And I was not going to be weak any longer.

I summoned all my remaining strength, not caring what physical state my body was in.

My aura morphed into tendrils, which proceeded to wrap around Adrian's legs and torso, pinning her arms against her body.

Slowly, I stood back up, twirling my dagger between my fingers.

"You can't do anything! Just give up, you know you can't beat me! You couldn't kill me before, I know you won't do it now," Adrian spat, struggling against her bonds. Her words sparked even more anger inside me. She was the girl I hadn't chased after.

"Actually, you're mistaken. If I felt like it, I'd spare you again. But I really, really don't feel like it." In the back of my mind, I knew I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't care.

I placed the tip of the dagger's blade on Adrian's arm, smirking as she squirmed.

A high-pitched scream pierced the air, as I cut the knife into her skin and dragged it alone her forearm.

"I'm stupid?" I asked, my smirk morphing into a sadistic grin.

I viciously yanked out the knife, causing even more blood to pour out of the wound.

The tip of the knife hadn't even touched the surface of Adrian's other arm, when she began thrashing violently against my aura ropes.

"Stop it! Stop!" She screamed.

In response, I replicated what I had done to her other arm, not even flinching as her screams increased in volume. I was beyond all reason, and by normal standards, completely insane.

"You overestimated me?" I asked her. I don't even think she heard me.

I stepped back, watching as the girl in front of me suffered.

Eventually, I knew I had to kill her. Eristalle, if she was still alive, would hear Adrian from anywhere in the maze.

With a small sigh of disappointment, I focused on creating an Icicle. The narrow funnel shape began spinning, and I kept it there long enough for Adrian to notice.

Once her fearful eyes had locked on to the tip of the Icicle, I spoke once more.

"Am I still useless?" I asked.

"Stop! You idiot! I'll kill you! I'll kill—"

The Icicle flew forwards, ending Adrian's sentence as it lodged itself into her chest.

Then, Adrian Karrski, who's first and last word was "kill", dropped to the ground, dead.

I took one last, disdainful glance at Adrian's corpse, before turning back to the codes.

Excitement suddenly shot through me. I had seen the queen. The real Saralee.

My eyes quickly scanned the Saralees, soon landing on the one with the minuscule rip in her sleeve.

Nearly tripping over my own feet, I ran over to her.

She looked at me, perfectly mirroring the blank stare of a code.

"Your majesty," I spoke, my voice filled with excitement, yet I still held an air of confidence.

Queen Saralee remained emotionless for another couple seconds. Then, a smile crept on to her face.

"That was quite the impressive kill, Celynne," Queen Saralee told me.

It felt as if my heart was going to explode. Had I really won?

"Thank you. I don't mean to be rude but...does this mean I've won?" I asked hesitantly.

The queen chuckled. "Yes, I suppose it does," she replied.

At that moment, the only emotion I could process was pure ecstasy.

I looked up at the ceiling, where the cameras surely were, and screamed in delight.

"Who's useless now?!" I yelled, laughing gleefully.

All the remorse I had felt from earlier had vanished. I wouldn't look back upon these memories again with anything but fondness.

"Well? Do you have any words for the Lessaenite Empire?" Queen Saralee asked.

"Yeah: You were all wrong about me. And, with all due respect, Your Majesty, I don't believe this will be the last time you hear of me."

........................................

Feedback:

Saralee Relasay Arystenn: I knew that this was going to be good...but none of us saw this coming. Your ending was simply amazing! I can't believe you were able to think to torture Adrian under such stressful circumstances. I'll give you a 10!

Selaeyah Valior: Excellent! Your method of finding Saralee was extremely creative- using her immortality. I'm also especially impressed by your sophisticated writing style. I'll give you a 9.

Final score: 10+9+2 (bonus for best ending)= 21.

.........................................

Contestant 14, Eloni Sempta:

EXTENSION

Contestant 17: Blayze Lesatia:

Mirrors. Blayze's reflection glared at her from everyone of them. They completely covered the waiting room, causing unease to bubble within her. Her honey curls reached for the sky while her light eyes were cold as ice. Slowly, she crept closer to the nearest mirror. Right as she reached out to touch it, it swung open. She gasped, leaping backwards with a hand held over her heart. It hammered beneath her palm, which practically dripped sweat.

Swiftly, she yanked out her knife. Then, Blayze rushed out of the room. Determination filled her to the brim. She had to win. She didn't care who died in the process. None of these people mattered to her. Nothing mattered except winning that money. She had to; for her father.

She skidded to a stop as the door clicked shut behind her. Dozens of Codes lurked in the shadows, each an exact replica of Queen Saralee. Blayze muttered under her breath, eyes scanning the intricate web of bushes. Lush, green shrubbery made up the borders and governed the turns.

She gulped in a deep breath, clutching her knife so tight that her knuckles became white. This was it. Blayze took a tentative step forward before breaking into a sprint. A Code approached her, a smirk resting across its visage. Well, Blayze assumed it was a Code. After all, Queen Sara wouldn't be so obvious. So, she sliced her knife across its neck before it could even blink.

By now, Blayze didn't pay the blood any mind. If she won, she'd be seeing a plethora of it as an Ice Guard. So, she stalked forward, holding her knife in front of her. Where were the other contestants? This task seemed too easy, too amateur.

As if she'd spoken out loud, she heard a movement from behind her. She hugged the ground right before an arrow pierced her heart. In front of her stood a determined Adrian Karrski, another arrow already loaded into her bow.

Blayze didn't feel a surge of fear or an instinct to flee. Actually, it was quite the opposite.  She summoned her aura to deflect the next arrow, her expression radiating indifference. Pent up rage bubbled within her. Everyone wished to restraint her, to hold her back from her dreams.

In a flash, Adrian's head crashed against the ground. Smirking to herself, Blayze snatched the dead girl's bow and arrow, pocketing her knife for the time beginning. Then, she raced forward, the gears spinning in her mind. If she wished to find the real queen, she had to think like the queen.

Her shoes slammed against the soft grass. She rounded a corner, decapitating any Code that dared to block her path. Her knife dripped blood onto the grass and a faint glimmer of light reflected off her hair, causing it to look golden.

Skylas Morrphin appeared out of nowhere, her arrow lodging itself into Blayze's arm. She yelped in pain, instantly hurling her knife at Skylas's heart. In an instant, the other contestant's blood mingled with the blades of grass.

Blayze yanked the arrow out of her arm and tossed it to the ground. Blood gushed out of her wound, yet she payed the pain no mind. She was adamant about winning, and she felt almost invincible as she plucked her knife from Skylas's chest. Nothing could stop her now.

Or so she hoped. A forest stomper ambled towards her. Realizing she couldn't possibly defeat it, especially sporting her injury, she raced in the opposite direction. It was slow, so all she had to do was race out of its sight.

As soon as the stomper had disappeared, Blayze paused to catch her breath. Her hand pressed over her heart. She had to keep going. If she found the queen, it'd all be over. She'd win this for her father. So, she began to amble along and kill any Code in her path.

Queen Sara couldn't be in the middle, Blayze reasoned with herself. That was too obvious, too cliche. She probably wasn't at the end, either. Queen Sara would keep her wits about her, no doubt.

As another Code bled into the grass, Blayze smiled to herself. Of course! The Codes draw attention to themselves. They advance. Queen Sara wouldn't attempt to draw attention to herself.

Giddy and full of hope, she raced around the maze. Her eyes scanned the Codes, searching for any abnormalities. Her heart kicked into overdrive while her legs pumped on autopilot. All she could spot were Codes, Codes, and Eristalle Akerri. However, Blayze didn't feel like murdering her. She wasn't about to waste her time when Eristalle or Celynne could discover Queen Saralee at any moment.

After searching for a while, Blayze felt totally and utterly exhausted. Her feet pounded while her arm was full of searing pain. Discouraged, she lowered herself onto a rock. Her head fell into her hands as she let out a deep sigh. She felt as though she had become a disappointment. If her dad could see her now, she bet he'd be shaking his head at her while tsking in disappointment.

She lifted her head towards the sky; a dome towered over her. Tears threatened to fall, yet she pushed herself onto her feet. She couldn't give up yet. What kind of loser, what kind of Lesseanite, would throw in the towel when they were so close to victory?

She stepped over a dead Code and began to saunter in a random direction. Codes stared and approached her, their eyes cold and emotionless. Suddenly, she heard a shrill voice cry out.

"Hey!" Queen Sara hissed, her voice full of venom, "I don't appreciate being stabbed!"

Blayze rushed in the direction of the voice. In front of the queen stood a babbling Celynne, an aura icicle disappearing into thin air. Her face held an expression of excitement and fear as Queen Sara folded her arms across her chest, glaring down at the contestant. Celynne had won. She would receive the money.

Defeat turned to anger, which morphed into hatred. Blayze rushed towards an oblivious Celynne and, in a flash, the life drained out of her eyes as she hit the grass. An arrow stuck out of her chest.

Queen Saralee simply raised an eyebrow. "Well, I guess that wasn't against the rules," she mused. "I guess we have a-"

Eristalle rushed towards Blayze, her eyes full of fire. Blayze moved to dodge her attack, but the fire-tipped aura knife pierced her chest. A scream involuntarily escaped her lips as she clutched at the gushing wound. The other contestant smirked, clearly expecting her to die. Blayze willed herself to stay conscious. Death wasn't an option.

Instead of reloading the stolen bow, she allowed it to clattered to the ground. In a flash, her knife pierced Eristalle's chest. Her mouth formed the shape of an 'o', hanging open as though she was prepared to scream. As she fell to the ground, as all life drained out of her eyes, Blayze felt a pinch of remorse.

The remorse, however, became short lived. She beamed up at one of the many cameras while Queen Saralee lifted her arm into the air. Blayze felt elated, yet also like a cold blooded killer. What had she just become? A murderer, like the Flame member that murdered her father.  However, she killed for the correct side. So, she pushed away her doubts and held onto that moment before consciousness escaped her.

...................................

Feedback:

Saralee Relasay Arystenn: Another beautiful entry from one of my favorite contestants. Your passion and dedication to the Iceheart cause continue to fill everything that you do. I love your thoughts on killing as well. I'll give you a 10!

Selaeyah Valior: I agree, this is quite impressive. However, you do have some awkward sentence structures, like when you used "disappointment" twice in the same paragraph. I'll give you a 9.

Final score: 10+9+1 (bonus for first entry)= 20.