34 - Going Back to Go Forward
Bo was sitting leisurely on the lower floor of Jam with Anan, Stephan and Chompoo, sipping his beer. He had gotten a call from a MOCA curator, who expressed interest in his work. Apparently she got a tip from one of her colleagues about an anonymous Chinese artist, who showed promise. He invited his friends out to celebrate.
"You're lucky none of us ever said no to free booze," Chompoo joked, lifting her beer bottle up to her mouth and taking a sip. "Otherwise, you'd be out here, celebrating all by your lonesome."
Stephan hit her shin under the table and eyed her reproachfully.
"What?? It's true! And he'd have no one to blame but himself! When's the last time any one of you has heard from him? He's been cooped up in his apartment for weeks! Weeping and moping," she said, taking another sip while looking around, her expression innocent.
"She's not all wrong, Bo," Anan said. "I really hope you get over this Nina business soon, I'm getting lonely over here man! How about a ride tomorrow? Or – you know what?! We head over to Chiang Mai, have you ever been? There are some roads there, man! They will make you forget the eyes of even the most beautiful princess, I guarantee it!"
"The eyes of the.. what are you talking about?" Stephan asked, clueless.
"Oh it's nothing," Anan said gently clinking his bottle with the one in front of Bo. "Just don't get drunk with this one until he gets over a certain someone."
"Nina will be back!" Chompoo said suddenly. "And sooner than you think!" she winked at Bo, who suddenly looked very alert.
"What do you mean? Has she said anything? Her trial might go on for weeks. And even then, she was unsure when she'd have enough money to come back."
Chompoo took another sip of her beer.
"Nah, I don't know any things. I don't understand why you don't just call her?"
"I have been calling her!" Bo nearly shouted. "In the last three days, she was always too busy to answer my call. All I got was "Don't worry about me" and "Everything is going well." What the hell does that mean!? Why are you girls always so cryptic?"
"Boss... " Chompoo said, tapping his knee playfully. "You need to relax ok? Don't they teach restraint in your country? You're behaving weirdly, it's my duty as your friend to tell you."
"I'm getting another beer," Bo said and got up, sensing he needed time to compose himself. Chompoo was right, this behavior was not like him at all. Ever since he came back from Croatia three weeks ago, he hadn't been himself.
First he blamed it on the jet lag. But as days passed and his uneasiness persisted, he came to realize - his life just felt bare somehow. He was missing the joy, the spark, and the warmth that Nina's company provided. They exchanged a few phone calls in the days they'd been apart, but he could feel her drifting away, as if she were on a canoe, being dragged by a raging river, while he just stood on its bank, looking at her, unable to stop her from disappearing from view.
He had been irritable, slept poorly, and his appetite was almost nonexistent. The only thing that remained was his art. That part of him seemed to flourish with his anguish deepening. In the little hours of the night, when he gave up hope of ever going back to sleep, he would get up and draw. All the sketches were of her. Her eyes, her smile, her bare shoulders. He remembered her every detail with vividness that tormented him. He slowly came to accept the fact: he could not live without Nina.
But how he would be able to live with her, he still hadn't figured out.
He was leaning on the metallic bar, the music loud, the dancing crowd was sweating and bumping shoulders. Bo never felt more lonely in his life. Having accomplished a big dream of his he wanted to celebrate, but it all somehow felt flat and he was struggling to enjoy it. With half a mind to excuse himself and retreat home, he almost gave up on trying to get the waiter's attention.
Then he felt someone hug him from behind, and heard the most beautiful sound in the world.
"Why so lonesome, stranger?"
He turned his head slightly, a tuft of blond hair coming into his view, and for a short moment, he felt he might be dreaming. He turned around, and there she was. It wasn't a dream. Nina was standing right there – in front of him, wearing a white lacy dress, her lips were red, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue he ever saw.
He smiled slowly, losing himself in her eyes, raising a hand to her cheek, caressing it lightly with the back of his finger.
"How've you been? Did I get here on time?" she asked, putting a hand on his chest, taking a step forward.
Bo was lost for words. So he let his body do what it craved, he took her into an embrace, and lowered his lips to hers. It felt like he just came home. She was just as he imagined her, all those nights, unable to sleep. She smelled like hope. Her warmth filled up every crevice of his heart, fired up his bones and made him feel more alive than ever.
"I'm never letting you leave again," he said, coming up for air.
Nina smiled, kissing him again, reassuring him that was what she wanted as well, melting into his body. Her throat gave out small sounds of pleasure, sounds he knew he wanted to spend his life hearing, sounds he knew he would never get enough of.
When he separated his lips from hers to ask how she managed to get back, Nina gazed over her shoulder and looked back at him with an apologetic look.
"I left my sister with the gang. I'm worried Chompoo and Anan might tear her up. I need to get back there. She's hardly been outside of our country, it's all a bit overwhelming for her."
He loved how she cared about her sister, the same one that only a few weeks ago managed to make her life a living hell. Bo nodded approvingly, but before she could do her sisterly duty, he stole another kiss from the same red lips that stared at him from the walls of his bedroom, ridding him of sleep.
"Before we go back," she said, considering, "tell me something about you that I don't know. Something really personal that I need to know. Something I will find out sooner or later, or that I should already have learned, but has somehow escaped me."
He didn't even hear her last words. From the moment she started speaking, all he could think was, "I love you. I love you so much. Oh how I love you. That's what you should know. Yes it's insanely personal and sooner or later you will find out." Suddenly, he was more sure of it than any other fact in his life.
So he leaned forward and whispered it to her ear.
"I love you, Nina."
He leaned back to check her reaction. Her eyes shone with rays that made her face beautiful. Her lip quivered and for a moment she looked like she might start to cry. But luckily she smiled, hugged him tightly and whispered "I love you too."
She might have said the words silently, but they felt crystal clear in his ear.
He followed his girlfriend back to their table. They never discussed it but there was no doubt in his mind about the nature of their relationship. He was looking forward to defining it with her. The unfamiliar dark haired woman with the same blue eyes as the woman he loved waved at Nina as they approached. She looked relieved, while Stephan seemed to be elbowing Anan and Chompoo, trying to get them to behave.
"This is my one and only sister," Nina said, her whole face ablaze, while Bo brought another chair to their table. "She will be staying with me for a month, and since five days ago, she's officially my business partner. We joined finances, and I can happily announce, Good Gamut is off the ground!"
"Hey, what about me??" Chompoo exclaimed, looking offended.
"You're still our best employee Chompoo! You might even get a raise. Keep up the good work, I see a bright web designer career in your future!"
Champoo looked a bit unsatisfied with that for a moment but then she raised her bottle and said, "Long live Good Gamut! May it prosper!" to which they all laughed and cheered.
"Was that from Star Trek?" Stephan teased. "You take a girl to see one movie..." he said and embraced her softly.
Bo was looking at Nina's face. She was positively glowing. He smiled at her, and as she glanced at him, catching him staring at her, she blushed and offered him a smile that promised wonders.
Bo decided that when it came to Nina, he believed in wonders.
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