"Where to now," I ask Axil as we both trudge away from Ms. Ophelia's house with nothing more than a basket of sweets. "What do you think actually happened last night? Do you think Willow is holding anything back?"

He looks down at me, his face cocked to the side. "Willow?"

The name had come out of my mouth without any hesitation. "Yeah... I mean... I only know her as Eden's daughter, Emma. Everyone deserves a clean slate."

"While that may be true, I can still be angry that she tried to kill my mother," he says looking out into the town of Senwain, quiet and empty.

I breathe in the crisp air letting it calm me and look up at the street lamps. "That's fair, but we can't hold a grudge," and I say it more convincing myself of the point than confirming it to Axil.

We walk in silence for a bit longer, the only sounds coming from the wind rustling the branches of neighboring bushes and trees. Far off in the distance, I can hear a symphony of critters. Owls and frogs. Crickets and bats. And wandering around in the night, I can't help but wonder if Zaria knew this little girl was Emma.

Does it really matter?

No, I think to myself. It doesn't matter... or it shouldn't. I must be sick in some way. Anger... frustration, depression taking over me in waves. What is this new feeling? I used to be okay. I used to be able to keep my head on my shoulders. But everything feels lost. It feels like for years I had been piecing the puzzle of my life together, and now all the pieces have been ripped apart, flipped over, and scattered all over the floor.

"You never answered my question."

"Which one?"

"Where to now?"

He takes a deep breath and exhales. A puff of breath floats in front of him before dispersing into the night. "Well, we could continue to wait around for the girls or Eden to come to us or..." he pauses, and I know what he's going to say before the words escape his mouth.

"We go to them," I finish for him.

He only nods, as he continues looking far off.

A tiny bit of his wrist sticks out from his jacket. Covered in goosebumps, his fingertips and knuckles have turned a bruised red color from the cold.

I take off the gloves from my hands and hand them over, wrapping my cape tighter around my body.

"No thanks."

"Axil, just take it."

He shakes his head and I know I won't be able to sway him without starting another argument, and I'm very tired of arguing for the moment.

"She gave that girl her cape." He's quiet for a bit, shaking his head as he looks down at his feet. "She's out there somewhere, probably freezing."

His words make me loosen my grip on my own. I let the chill hit my skin, letting it pinprick and bite.

I know the question is stupid before I ask, but the worry makes me ask it anyway. "Do you think they're okay?"

He keeps his head down, his golden hair hanging dangerously close to his eyes. A soft chuckle breaks the silence.

"What?" I ask, a small smile on my face.

"I can only imagine the fight they are putting up... wherever they may be. Zaria... she's all fire. Brilliant and fierce." He chuckles again. "And, Lucy is all ice. Cool and severe. Anyone who tries them is going to wish they hadn't."

I allow myself to chuckle as well, trying to block out the image burned in my memory of Eden's sinister grin. I shiver, and this time it's not from the cold.

"Let's go back to the palace. I'll sleep on it and come up with another plan in the morning."

"What changed?"

"Willow did tell us something very important. Someone else accompanied her here. I'm going to have some questions for her." He presses his lips tight together. "I can't believe we let this happen again. I'll have to speak to Father about this. We can't just continue letting rouge people inside our walls."

I nod. "You can't blame yourself for everything," I say looking away. "Be glad your hearts are so open to the world. You love first. That's admirable."

"This love has cost me a lot. Almost too much," he says.

"But, look at how much you've gained. I haven't seen you so alive in the past few months. Your love has cost you a lot, but everything comes at a price, especially for something so valuable."

"And you," he starts, changing the subject. "You seem to not be... well."

He dances around that last word, but I knew it was coming. It was only a matter of time before someone said something.

"I'm trying," I say, "...every day. Isn't that enough?"

He looks at me, and all the sharpness in his eyes is gone. "It's more than enough. I'm just looking out for you. That's what family's for."

He wraps his arm around my shoulders, hugging me in and it feels nice. I sigh relief... or maybe it's regret... guilt... sadness... joy... or maybe it's everything at once. "Do you want to talk?" he says quietly.

"Not really." I shake my head but look up at him with a smile. "But thank you for asking."

***

Again, I lie awake letting myself sink into the mattress. Could it be possible for me to sink all the way down? Like plunging underwater?

When I had come back, my mother was waiting for me, arms crossed sitting in the chair at the corner of my room.

***

"You've got some explaining to do young lady."

And for a moment I forgot how intimidating she could look. I forgot for a second while I was running around with Axil that I may feel all alone, but there are hundreds of people around wanting to know where I am and what I'm doing.

That had never been a problem before. I was deemed an outcast. It wasn't in vain, and I never corrected anyone when a comment would be made about my strangeness. I was the royal sorceress. Bound to my room to practice spells and pet cats.

I was never able to get my hands on a cat, but could you imagine if I had?

"I took a day trip with Axil," I tell her, the tiredness in my voice prevalent.

"Without telling me?"

I lie. "There really wasn't much to tell. I've run around Lumbridge and Senwain for years, Mom. By myself. I didn't think going out for a day with Axil would be this big of a deal".

She stands to her true height and I realize just how small I am in comparison.

"Your little adventure wasn't just a day trip when you came back at three in the morning without telling me where you were. Crista, what if she had taken you? Who would have known?"

At first, it crossed my mind to say that's exactly what we planned, but that would get me in more trouble than I'm bargaining for.

"I'm sorry," is what I decide to settle on. A half-truth. I feel sorry that I must keep her in the dark, but I don't feel sorry for what we are doing. I don't feel any remorse for trying to right some of my wrongs. I don't feel sorry for annoying Axil, forcing him to let me tag along. And I for sure don't feel sorry for trying to find my friends.

"I wasn't thinking." Another lie. All I've been doing for the past couple of weeks is thinking. My mind wanders at a mile a minute, and between my own voice and the one that haunts my dreams, there hasn't been a moment for peace at all.

She walks towards me, wrapping her arms around me. I try not to think how differently it felt when Axil hugged me with all sincerity, whereas this one feels obligatory.

"You know I love you," she whispers in my ear, patting my head and smooshing my curls.

"I love you, too." It's all I could say because there are times when I question what her love really is. What does it mean and am I selfish for not liking it?

***

She left. She let me to rest and closed my door with the softest click. And now what? Have another nightmare before I wake up thrashing in my sheets just to start all over again tomorrow...

But I close my eyes anyway, take a deep breath, and let whatever is going to happen, happen.

And I can feel myself falling. Falling... falling... falling... It doesn't scare me anymore. My heart feels different. Not slowed not fast... just normal. Steady.

I get up, the darkness surrounding me. I know I'm dreaming. I know this isn't real, but the sound of drips as it echoes in the hallway is so real. The pressure around me is so real.

"Keep going," I tell myself. "If you keep going it will end. Just a little bit longer."

So I start running, and as I run, I can smell what seems to be aged rust. The smell stings my nose as I run through. Covering my face, I continue in the abyss. I don't know what my feet are running on, and a small part of me doesn't even want to know.

The burning smell gets worse. It runs through my lungs like a burning fire and I have to hold my breath to keep from coughing.

"Almost there. Just keep going."

And then there's the voice, and just like every other night, it sounds distorted. The voice is unclear, the words all jumbled together at first before coming together to make a sentence. But there is something different this time.

The demeanor is different, the sound of a plea and whisper instead of a shout.

I squint as if that will help me hear better. One foot in front of the other. And then the panic starts to set in. Good. This will all be over soon.

My heart rate gets faster this time. Not slower. Everything around me seems to be moving at a quicker pace and I can't keep up. The voice keeps trying to peak through the unbearable pressure, but it's still just a jumble.

"You want me to find you," I shout. "I know. Just let me go."

My muscles start to seize under the pressure and my bones feel heavier than they've ever felt.

"See me."

The voice finally breaks out. Not a shout or a yell. But in the same pleading whisper.

"See me," I call out. "See what? Who are you?"

And I can feel myself being ripped away. The pressure setting in even more to the point I feel like I will explode into a million pieces.

"See me," the voice whispers one last time before I wake up in a pool of my own sweat.