Psychology was a funny concept. It briefly studies the human brain and states the reason for their behavious. So, psychology basically justifies a person's behvaiour. Majoring in the subject made it difficult for me to reason with Derek. I wanted to stay mad and be vengeful, but deep down in my heart, I just wanted to find our the core reason that made him this way.

But would it be fair of me to excuse his behaviour by naming him as a psychopath? My psychology professor always said that being a bigger person will bring you a sense of accomplishment and we should always be the bigger person and understand the situation by putting ourselved in their shoes. But how was I going to look at the world from Derek's eyes when this side of him was a total stranger to me?

A part of me did not want to empathise with him. I was plain mad at him for committing such a crime and instead of confessing, create a whole messed up game. But if I give into my peronsl bias and opinions, what kind of a therapist would I be? I had been preparing my entire life for this. I did not learn psychology merely to give suggestions to the troubled souls. I became one to improve my personal life and not get frustrated at small things.

Brianna had joked about me basically becoming a monk because she thought it was okay to get angry easily. While Brianna could relate to the mean or the badass girls in movies, I looked upto the calm and the collected characters. My friend did not know what kind of anger I felt when I did give into such a confusing emotion. She was not aware of the thoughts that enveloped my mind. It was me and only me who was cognizant about it.

One thing that I was fully conscious of was that deep down we are all sinners, all murders. But many fight this notion until they subdue all of the evil thoughts and choose a better life for themselves while others give into the wickedness inside of them and become monsters. Although it was unfair and unjust of me to tag people who murdered others for their satisfaction, I was okay with that because this was a conversation I was having in my head and nobody would have access to it, making every single one of them a unknown to what I thought of all this.

"How do I look?" I shifted my attention from the mirror and to an overjoyed Derek who was adjusting his suit.

Derek had come over yesterday to ask me to join him in deciding an outfit for the gala. I was very firm in not wanting to accompany him at first, but he was very persuasive till the end. I could have still stand my ground and not accepted his request, but I wanted to spend some alone time with him.

So here we were, the only customers in Alex's small boutique. Derek had tried on three suits until now while I was relaxing on a circle, fancy chair covered with a smooth, velvety fabric.

"I liked the first one better," I spoke, sipping on my tea.

"You did, I like this one more," he replied.

"Damn," I grimaced. "I guess out views and opinions are no longer the same."

"I guess, yeah. Do you remember when we thought so alike that you used to make a few decisions on my behalf and I used to do the same?" Derek smiled as he blocked my view of the stunning round mirror and stood in front of me, appreciating the suit.

"Those were the days," I whispered taking another sip of my beverage.

"Val, I did not ask you here for chitchat. Help me pick an outift!"

"I told you I was the wrong person for that!" I reminded him in a high pitched tone and stood up from my chair. I walked towards the rack which had the best suit collection and scrutized all the suits. "Should have asked Brianna, but no. We don't listen to Valerie because most of the times she keeps blabbering nonsense."

"Brianna would have insulted this boutique and then pointed out how they serve tea and coffee instead of champagne or wine. Do I need to also remind you that she would have told me she could hook me up with one of her designers who would make a better suit for me?"

"I'm pretty sure she would not have suggested that. Stop thinking she is constantly mean."

"Isn't she, though?"

I ignored the question and handed him a royal blue suit. He accepted it with a nod and I flashed him a wide smile. Changing into the suit, I could not help but feel proud of my choice. It looked like this attire was made for him. It fit evert inch of his body like second skin and not to forget, the colour complimented his ocean eyes so well that anybody would get lost in them. The fabric was so smooth to touch that I was afraid I would destroy it if I handled it roughly.

"Judging by your wide mouth, I guess this is the one?" He rose his brow.

"It looks fantastic," Alex's voice snapped me back into the real world. "You look gorgeous, honey."

Derek politely thanked Alex and showered the creator of the stunning suit for compliments. Alex's face had an entire different glow after receiving so many good words.

As Derek was completing the ensemble with the tie, I checked my phone to see dozens of texts from everybody. They were all worried when I said yes to hang out with him. Blake was even ready to throw hands, but I asked them all to sit back and relax. The last thing we needed was Derek to get suspicious of our motives.

I replied to all of them to look up and still see Derek struggling with the tie. The two of us made eye-contact throw the mirror and I started nodding aggressively when a familiar expression took over his face.

"Help me, please," he said.

"I don't- I don't know how to tie a tie. I'm sorry," I apologised.

"You're not even trying!"

"I'm just going to make a fool of myself. I'm not coming there, Derek."

After getting my firm reply, Derek looked around for Alex but when we was nowhere in sight, I sighed and got up once again.

I asked Derek to hold my phone while I YouTubed how to make the perfect tie in easy steps. So many videos appeared at my command.

I held the two ends of the tie and practised couple of times before making the final one.

After succeeding in making the final product, I looked at Derek who gave me a very tender look.

My hands were rested on either side of his chest with my breath increasing every second.

"What happened to you Derek?" I whispered out loud.

"What do you mean?" He furrowed his brows.

"You changed. You weren't like this before."

"Haven't we all?" He asked. "I mean, the girl who was so afraid that if she lets a guy in, he will break her heart now loves a man."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I don't know what happened. When I was first trying to get over my breakup with Leigh, Rosalind was there to support me, to let me know that everything will be fine. Then, I had her constant support while I built my company. But after one of my employees messed up real bed, everything went downhill from that." He turned around to change the topic, but I clutched his hand.

"Talk to me."

"It's just I realised that happiness is temporary. It is sadness that stays forever. A company I built with so much hardwork was going to fall apart because of one mistake. I was slowly losing everything. Even Rose. She was changing. I could see she was trying very hard to put herself first and do something to make her happy."

"Is it that bad that she was being selfish?"

"It's not bad, but it just make me scared that she'll leave me too and ask me to fend for myself."

"So, you assumed she would leave you?" I scoffed, not believing his words.

"No, she was setting me up with Jessica so that I would spend more time with her."

"Jessica loved you," I informed him. "She started developing feelings for you when you came to prom with me and then when she started to get to know you, her feelings escalated. Rosalind had nothing to do with that. She was the one who went to talk to Jessica and told her that you and her would never happen."

"I know. I was the one who asked her to do that. I was not in the right mind to confront Jessica myself, so I asked her to do it. She didn't want to do it at first, but she agreed. My life sucked Valerie and you know nothing about it because you were in the city, making the best life for yourself."

All I could do in the moment was wrap my arms around him. I closed my eyes when his hands touched the small of my back. If I pressed this matter further, I was risking to expose myself and everybody. But, if I provided him when love, he would probably not think much of it.

I was in the arms of a man who murdered my best friend and I didn't feel any anger. I just felt pity. Pity for the killer. I did not know the exact reason why he took Rosalind's life, but what I did that he chose this path thinking that his life would get better and that was working, but not for long.

The one thing I realised from this little interaction with Derek was that I didn't have to understand him. I didn't have to empathise when him and more importantly I did not have to forgive him, not if I didn't want to.

Even if I was going to be a therapist and I would have abundant knowledge about human psyche, I did not have to try so hard to be perfect because in the end of the day, I was a human being too.

I was allowed to mess up, I was allowed to have angry thoughts. I didn't have to live upto anybody expectations. Nobody had to do that. Absolutely nobody.

So, spending time with the killer did teach me a very important life lesson.

So, I could have written more and explain why Derek did what he did, but I wanted the entire gang to be present for that bit.

I hope you liked this chapter.

It's weird actually because I tried to write this during my free time, but everything I came up with was actual shit.

And this version of this chapter, I typed it while my lectures were going on. Do I write better stuff while doing something else? I believe so.

Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.