~What defines a champion is not winning, but rising after defeat.

Zehra

Many a time, life gives us surprises. As a child, I never knew what a family was supposed to be like. Family; the one word I detested. Growing up wasn't easy, it never was, it never will, we just had to adjust ourselves to it.

Home; a place of serenity, cherished love and happiness. For me it was the right opposite. A father who used to scream in the middle of the night, but during the day the most lovable, a mother who would scream in the day, but become a kitten at night. A brother so loving at the day, but cries to sleep at night.

Poor me. A girl who never questioned. A girl who accepted anything. You give trash, then I'd take it wholeheartedly. The young me, was the epitome of foolishness and innocence. I would cry for their love, but at the end of the day, it was always Zameer, who would console me. Alas he would cry alone. Oh dearest brother, if I were a bit mature then, I would wipe your tears and hold you in my arms everyday.

Life changes, and so did my family. My Dada left for good, my Mama got married again. My brother distanced himself, I was left all alone, yet again.

I thought about how Zameer had questioned asking how I was. He cares, though he never shows it. Atleast he had spoken to me. It was a start. Maybe it'll get better. It sure will. There'll be good days too.

Years back, my mother had thought that sending me to boarding school would do me good, and it did, one of the right choices she made in life.

I remember the first day I went to boarding school, how the four of us bonded together. Looking back, I would have laughed if one said that we'll be friends in future too.

Friends; thinking about them, my lips stretched into a genuine smile. I laughed at our stupid fights. My thoughts automatically went to Aahil. How stupid of me. I didn't even know anything about him, yet why am I even wondering what he's doing right now? I shrugged. I couldn't help but wonder who he'll marry. What if he married Humaira? She speaks alot about him. Well, who cares?

Maybe I'll marry someone in my late twenties. Someone who will be loving like my step dad. I respected him, unlike my own father. Yes, I love my father, but at the same time, all he did was hurt us. Though he was supposed to be the one to guide us, it was he who led us astray.

Dada, only if you've been here till this day, I wonder how things would have been. How naive we humans are, to think about this if. If only I hadn't done this, if only I hadn't done that. What an atrocity.

I remember the day my father had never returned back, his final words still echoing in my mind.

"I've had enough!"

He left. That same day when we had promised to never leave each other.

Till this day, I had no idea about the reason for their fight. Ever since I remember, all they had done was fight, but this was something surely big. Something surely painful. Months later, mama had already married someone else. And dada was nowhere to be seen.

Is this what they call a family? Tears, pain, cries and sadness?

I opened my cupboard, rummaging the shelves. In it was a red covered book. Wiping the dust off it, the words With Love, Dada were written with big letters on the front. I opened the first page, sadly looking at the words I wrote years back.

×××

21st August.
Dear Diary,

This book contains my love to my father.

I am sharing you my thoughts. Would you please pass it to my Dad? And please don't forget to tell me what he had said after reading this. Dear diary, I am entrusting you for this! Please don't break my trust.

So here it is. My first letter!

×××

To :
My Dada whom I hope still remembers me,

You were my hero,
Together we made the best duo.

I looked up to you.
I respected you.
I loved you.

What changed?
Why can't I see you anymore?
Why don't you love me anymore?
Am I not your daughter anymore?

I waited for you everyday.
Yet you never came back anyday.
Day by day, you grew away.
Away from your daughter's way.
Knowing that she'll never forget you anyway.  

Blessed are those, who have their father's right by their side.
Does it mean I am not lucky enough for that honour?
Remember the day we promised to never leave each other?
Was it all just a lie?
Or was it just another promise which was unfulfilled?

Speak to me, atleast once.
Don't ignore me, it hurts.
I may never tell you this, but,
I love you, I really do, I still do.
It's been so long, so please,
come see me, atleast once.
I promise to wait for that day.

From,
Your daughter who failed in gaining her father's love.
Your daughter.
Yours.

×××

Ignoring the tear drop that fell from my eye, I began reading the other few pages.

Dear Diary,

I am back once again. Not to share my thoughts with you, but to tell you that I Hate You So Much.

You broke my trust. You promised to bring back a letter from Dad! Where is it? I don't see it!

Either way, I don't need it now. Just pass these final words to him.

×××

To :
My unfaithful father.

Crying myself to sleep at night,
I wondered how you've been.

Everytime someone speaks about their father,
My heart clenches with pain.

Oh my dearest father,
I still remember the way your
voice sounds,
The way your eyes twinkle when
you smile,
The way you kiss my forehead
every night,
The way you caress my head
when I cry.

Oh my dearest father,
I may never forget you, but can
you do the same?
Can you please not forget the way
my voice sounds?
The way my teeth shines when
I smile?
The way I used to play with your
hair?
Can you please not forget me?

Dada,
I hate you.

From,
Someone you don't remember.

×××

Taking out a pen I opened the last page and wrote,

Goodbye, my hero.

I slowly hugged the diary and closed my eyes.

Few minutes later, I got up hearing a few voices, it was probably Shehzad. The only guy my brother teamed up with. After a few minutes they walked pass my room, to the kitchen. Zameer began taking a bottle of juice and some toast, handing some to Shehzad, who was wearing a few of Zameer's jackets. He looked so puffed out in all of them. Seriously? Typical them.

Standing next to the kitchen I could clearly hear their voices.

"You didn't tell me you were engaged to her," Zameer said gritting his teeth. Huh?

"Seriously man, I am not. What's with you? How many times should I convince you?" Shehzad spoke, kinda blushing, then suddenly he flew up from the chair and asked with widened eyes, "Wait! Why do you care if I am engaged to her?"

I scratched my head, what were they talking about?

"Forget it. So then it means Amyrah is already engaged to someone."

Huh? Amyrah? My Amyrah!?

"Then she'll get married to him too?" Shehzad asked worried.

"Yeah... Shehzu, what if this marriage dosen't work?" Zameer asked grinning slightly.

What!!?

Then Shehzad spoke again quietly, "Then I can marry her?"

Oh my! Shehzad. With a grin I ran back into my room, without bothering to hear the rest of it.

☆☆☆

A/N

I enjoyed writing Zehra's POV so much! Hope you enjoyed reading it too.

Any thoughts about their family? :(

Shehzad & Amyrah huh? ;)