I'm probably gonna regret updating, but yeah... If anyone's even here after all this time, here's the 54th chapter.

Recap:

ADDY'S RELATIONSHIP STATUS:
• She is just friends with Blake and is trying to get over him.
• She met a guy at a bar named Derek and has a date with him.
• She is just friends with Cole.

BLAKE'S RELATIONSHIP STATUS:
• He realized he loves Addy but hasn't confessed yet.
• He is just friends with Addy.
• He is still dating Terra but they're on a break due to their feelings for other people [Yeah, Terra likes Cole]

WHO IS DEREK:
• A guy Addy met at the bar.
• Has gone through a divorce and has a child with another woman who lives abroad.
• Has a date with Addy in this chapter.

WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER [Blake's POV]:
• Blake invited Addy over for dinner and she spent the night with him [no sex].
• Addy had been getting calls throughout dinner with she ignored.
• After Addy slept, she got one more call which Blake answers. And the last lines:

"Hello." A deep male voice spoke.

"Who is this?"

"Isn't this Addelyn's phone?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"I'm Derek. I want to know when I should pick her up for our date."

CHAPTER 54
First Dates and Broken Hearts

"Blake!" I shouted, rocking his asleep body, but he gave no response.

A loud ringtone rang in my ear for the millionth time this morning. I picked up my phone, slamming the ignore button before throwing it to the bed, and slapping Blake hard on his arm.

He grumbled, wrapping an arm around my waist. I squealed when he pulled me, making me fall on top of him.

"Blake!" I shouted, hitting his chest. His eyes fluttered open, a smile growing on his face.

"I missed waking up to you," he said, pulling my head down to his chest.

"Blake! Let go of me!"

"Never." He smiled, hugging me tighter.

"Blake! I'm in no mood for jokes!"

"What's wrong?" He cupped my face and stroked my cheek with his thump, setting my skin on fire.

No! Stop enjoying it!

I slapped his hand away, getting off the bed.

"Did you tell Derek that you were my boyfriend and canceled our date?"

"No," he replied softly, looking away from me.

"Blake!"

"Maybe," he confessed.

"Why would you do that? I really like this guy!"

"You do?" he whispered in disappointment. He took a deep breath, sighing. "Why don't you calm down? We'll talk then, okay?" he asked, grabbing both my hands.

"No, Blake!" I pushed his hands off. "You have a girlfriend. You go on dates. You're oh-so-happy, then why can't I be? I want to be with another guy, and I hate how you're always getting in the way."

He lowered his head. "I—I thought he was bothering you. You kept ignoring his calls last night."

"That was someone else," I explained. "And even if it was him, I can manage my problems on my own. I don't need you. In fact, my biggest problem right now is you. I tried to put some space between us, but you keep crawling back and doing things like this. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

He stared at me, his eyes slowly forming a coat of tears.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." he trailed off in a whisper, looking away.

My heart burned, guilt creeping up my conscience for shouting at him, but I held it from showing on my face.

"I'll talk to him if you want," Blake offered.

"No need. I already did," I said, my voice getting softer after the realization that I was hurting him yet again. I got off his bed and walking out of his room.

Reaching downstairs, I was greeted by a smiling Claire, offering breakfast, but I politely declined, leaving their house.

I drove home, trying to ignore the annoying buzzing of my phone that hadn't stopped since I woke up this morning.

As I reached my bedroom, the phone rang again, and I grit my teeth, answering it.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly into the phone.

"Addelyn, that's not ho—"

"... how I talk to my mother. I know. You say that every time we talk." I rolled my eyes. "Didn't you notice that I've been ignoring your calls? Take a hint, mother."

I heard her take an exasperated breath on the other line. "We need to meet, Addelyn. You need to get to Boston."

"Right, the supermarket nearby. I'll be there in five minutes," I said sarcastically.

"I'll send you a private jet tomorrow, and you better be on it."

"No."

"Adde—" I hung up on her before she could say more and fell back on my bed.

I contemplated canceling the date with Derek. This day had started awful. But I decided it was about time I moved on. I'd already spent too much time crying over Blake.

The rest of the day crawled by slowly. By evening, I'd been ready for my date and had waited for thirty minutes before the doorbell rang.

"You're late," I said, opening the door to see Derek dressed in a black button-up shirt. His face looked as hollow as it did on the day I met him, but he was still hot.

"Sorry." He lowered his head.

"I'll forgive you since you gave me extra time to rethink my footwear." I shrugged.

"You look beautiful tonight," Derek said, holding out a hand for me.

"I kn—Thank you." I smiled, accepting his hand.

Getting out, he turned back to my house and then to me. "You have a beautiful house. I didn't know you'd be so rich."

"I'm not. The owners of this house are," I said. "I'm more like a paying guest. But they pay me instead of me paying them."

"So, you're a housekeeper?" he asked.

"I am not a housekeeper!" I gasped. "They gave birth to me. They're stuck paying me for a mistake they made one night eighteen years ago."

"You're not very close with your parents, I see."

"That might've taken a whole lot of brain cells to guess." I scoffed. I sounded grumpy—I could see that. I had been ever since I woke up this morning to my mother's calls.

We reached out the gate where a cab stood. He opened the back door for me, but I stood still, looking at it with a scrunched face.

"Where's your car?" I asked.

"I can't drive," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "My license got revoked."

"Pay him off. I'll call my driver," I said, walking into the house.

For the next fifteen minutes, we sat silently on my front porch, waiting for the driver. Derek kept glancing at me awkwardly, but I made no eye contact with him.

Not the best night for my first date, I thought to myself.

I wished my first date would've been with Blake. He could be so romantic sometimes.

I smiled at the thought of last night. The candles, the flowers, the food—he had done so much for just dinner.

But I'd been so awful this morning over something so small. My mother always had that effect on me.

I quickly switched on my phone which I switched off after my mother's call.

The moment I did, the phone pinged with plenty of missed calls, most from my mother, a few from my friends... but none from Blake.

I browsed Blake's number but before I could click it, my hand froze.

Should I call him? I asked myself.

I didn't know what to say or how I should talk to him after this morning.

But I should. He'll understand. He always understands.

I almost called him again, but this time was interrupted by the opening of my gate.

"My driver's here," I told Derek, putting my phone in my purse.

The ride had been a silent one. Derek tried to start up a conversation every now and then, but I didn't feel like talking.

Maybe I should've canceled the date.

We finally reached the restaurant. It wasn't good. But I could survive, I thought, looking around.

Blake could've done better. When it came to making me happy, no one could've been better than Blake. But no one broke my heart worse than he did either.

I mentally stabbed myself for thinking of Blake. I had to put him away from my mind and enjoy the date even if it didn't go so well in the beginning.

Giving Derek a smile, I sat down opposite him at our table. A waiter took our order before leaving us to an awkward silence.

"What do you do for a living?" I asked, hoping it'd be the right question. Making conversation with an adult was not something I did every day. Asking about school to someone my age would've been much easier.

"I'm a marketing manager," he replied. I nodded. "Actually, I was. I got fired a year ago. I work at my dad's store now. It's nothing much," he said, lowering his head.

"Sounds... interesting," I said, playing with a fork on the table.

"I know it doesn't." He hesitantly laughed. "What about you? What do you want after college?"

"Take over my parents' company," I answered. "I just want to make them proud."

"I thought you weren't close with them."

"That does not mean I don't want to make them proud," I said. "I'll show them that I am good enough to be their daughter. Then they'll regret ever letting me go."

"That sounds..." he trailed off, pursing his lips.

"Stubborn? Childish? Stupid?" I suggested.

"Interesting," he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"So, your son—how old is he?" I asked.

"Three years," he replied.

"That's nice. I bet it's cool to have a baby," I said.

"Uhh... I don't really know. I haven't seen him since his mother moved away." He lowered his head.

I guess I knew that. I'd been telling all my friends that it's okay to date him because his child is not in his life anymore.

But I don't think I was happy anymore that I didn't have to deal with his child. Right now, all I could do was stare at my phone where her name had been etched on since morning. And right now, all I could see in Derek was her and my father.

I watched him for almost three seconds before adjusting my handbag over my shoulder and getting up.

"We're done," I said.

"What?"

I heard him call my name, but I kept walking till I was out of the restaurant. Right before I could enter my car, a hand stopped me and I glared at Derek.

"Addelyn, what's wrong? I already told you that I hadn't seen them back at the club."

"I know, but I feel different today. I don't think I want to date a guy who can't even love his own son."

"I love my son," he said. "I didn't leave him because I didn't because I didn't want him."

"Then?"

"When you're a kid, your parents always tell you not to hang out with bad people. No one wants their kids mixed with a bad crowd. But sometimes, the bad influence they want their kids to stay away from is themselves."

"And what makes you worse than a father who can't take care of his child?" I asked.

"I don't have myself in control."

"Yeah, you're kinda messy," I said, pointing at the loose button about to fall off his shirt.

"That's not what I meant, but I guess..." he trailed off, looking away in shame. "Look, it's not that I don't try. I want to get my life back on track. I want to get a job again and stop living under my dad's expenses. And here I am on a date with a pretty girl because I want to be in a normal relationship and move on from my past. I want to be able to control myself before I meet my son."

"And why can't you?" I asked.

He shifted his eyes, taking a breath before looking at me. "Can I take you somewhere?" he asked.

No, my mind said without skipping a beat.

But at a second thought, I wondered why not? We needed the same thing—to move on from our past relationships and get back on track. How bad could this place even be?

I nodded, entering my car along with him. He gave a location to my driver, and in a few minutes, we reached an old building.

He got out of the car, and hesitantly, I did so too, following him. He didn't enter the building, but led me to a backdoor which led to a pair of stairs going down.

Reaching the basement, the empty hallways all looked the same. I probably wouldn't be able to find my way back.

Note to self—think twice before following strangers to strange places.

Actually, don't think twice. Just go with the gut feeling that says a big NO.

A bit of relief washed over me as I heard loud music, and it got closer as we walked. Soon, I was entering what looked like an underground club.

It didn't meet the standards Jack's club showed. Not even close. It was shabby. Bright green and pink lights came out of nowhere with people practically puking on the floor. The walls looked like it was about to crumble down. The air was heavy with intoxicating smoke. I definitely had to get drunk in order to survive a second more here.

"Derek!" a man exclaimed, smiling at him. "I didn't see you for a few days. I thought you were about to turn good."

His gaze turned to me, a smirk lighting up his face as he eyed me up and down. "How much did you pay for this one?"

"I didn't pay her," Derek mumbled to the other person.

"Every girl has a price. What's yours?" he asked, stepping closer to me.

"It's cute you think you can afford me." I pushed him by his chest, taking Derek's hand and dragging him along with me without knowing where I was going.

"What is this place?" I asked him, eyeing the people around me.

Girls in trashy clothes giggled near men they probably wouldn't be with if they had a choice. This had to be some kind of a brothel or a sex bar.

"You're not going to sell me, are you?" I asked.

"No." He chuckled. "You asked what's so bad about me that I can't be a father to my son. This is your answer."

"That you pay for women?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not like that guy, Addelyn. I too broke to pay for sex," he said as if that made it any better.

"Then what is it?"

"I'm a drug addict," he said. "I used to come here for fun back in college. A night here is when my son happened." He let out a humorless laugh. "I stopped after college. But when my wife left me, I found myself here again."

I looked around, and then it all made more sense—the smell and the weird people.

"I'd been sober for a few days," he spoke again. "But I felt like coming back here tonight."

"And you brought me here."

"Remember you asked me the night we met how I coped up with everything?" he asked. "This is it."

I nodded, but I didn't say anything. This wasn't what I expected.

"You could leave if you want," he said. Without waiting another moment, he turned on his heel, making his way to a bar.

This is my chance to be smart.

I quickly made my way to the exit. This night had to end here. But just as I got out, my phone rang.

It was her again. I scoffed, rejecting the call and stuffing my phone back into the bag.

I finally exited the main club area but here was the problem—the empty hallways all looked the same.

It reminded me of my first day at school when I got lost and gave up until Blake helped me find my way. Trying to forget him and move on made me miss him even more though I just saw him this morning.

I sighed, sitting on the ground and leaning against a wall.

Maybe someone would come out from the club, and I could follow them.

I rested my hands on my knees, burying my head in them as I closed my eyes.

I shouldn't have fought with Blake. I shouldn't have gone out with Derek, and I most definitely shouldn't have followed him to this place.

My phone rang again, and I canceled it only to have it ring once more.

"Stop calling me!" I shouted, answering the phone.

"Lynne?"

My breath hitched at his voice. This wasn't the person I expected.

He sounded hoarse like he'd been crying. It broke me.

"I-I tried not to call you," he said.

But I'd been waiting for you to, I almost said, but my mouth simply hung parted with a tiny quiver in my lips.

"You said you needed space, and I want to give it to you, but I can't stop thinking about you, Lynne."

And I couldn't stop thinking about you. I love you.

"I'm sorry if I crossed the line. I should've taken the hint every time you pushed me away. But I kept pulling you to me because I so desperately wished you'd need me the way I need you. I'm so sorry, Lynne."

But I did need him. I probably needed him more than he needed me. I loved him so much that I couldn't tell if it hurt or felt good.

"I'm sorry I make you angry. I don't try to. But I can't stay away from you, Lynne. I miss you. I miss how we used to be. And I want it to all fall back into place. But that's so greedy of me. I should've left it when you said you didn't want it anymore. I'm sorry if I've been ruining what we have."

But I'm the one who kept ruining everything.

A tear rolled down my eyes, and I pursed my lips hard to stop a sob from coming out.

"Lynne, say something," he begged defeatedly.

I'm sorry, I opened my mouth to say, but I didn't.

"Lynne?"

"I love you." My heart stopped the moment those words fell out of my mouth.

"What?" His voice came out in a softer whisper.

I gulped, quickly taking the phone off my ear and canceling the call before throwing it in front of me. The cold air burned my eyes as I strained my gaze on the phone.

"That didn't just happen," I mumbled to myself, yet knowing it did from the way my body shivered.

A shrill sound made me jump and I looked at the phone on the ground, glowing. My trembling hands picked it up, and my heart raced at his name on the screen.

I quickly switched off the phone, stuffing it in my pocket. Maybe it was better to get back to the club. Derek didn't seem like such a bad guy.

But when I found him, he wasn't the same guy I went on a date with. He'd turned into some giggly dude with red eyes.

"Addelyn, ya came back. I knew you'd come back," he slurred with a huge smile that could either be from his joy of seeing me again or because he's high as fuck.

My body still shivered from my conversation with Blake as I leaned against the bar and ordered a shot.

"Ya know, I'm glad we met. Who'duh thought a pretty girl like you'd wanna date me?"

"I don't want to anymore," I murmured in a sing-sang voice, pulling on my fingers.

I could barely concentrated on Derek. Blake knows. I fucking told him.

"Ya know..." he started again, and I cringed. The way he said that had already started to piss me off. "You look like my wife. She has long brown silky hair... and tiny little freckles. And she's so tall."

"Ex," I added, "and it does not sound anything like she looks like me."

"She's this tall, ya know," he said, placing his hand a few inches above his head, "but I'm taller. I'm this tall." He stood on his toes, reaching up even higher.

I rolled my eyes, my thoughts going back to Blake. I should've just stayed silent, or I should've just said sorry. I mostly definitely shouldn't have said what I did. Now all of my nerves were tied in knots inside my body.

"Her eyes are sooo pink. Ya know, like how you see in movies." He let out a snort. And then he let out another that slowly degraded to a silent chocked laughter. "She's a disco ball." He bursted into more fits of silent laughter to a point I couldn't tell if he was laughing or wheezing.

I scoffed. He sounded stupid—so stupid that he wouldn't give a fuck about anything even if he'd confessed to his long time crush in the absolute worst time he could find.

I turned around, seeing my shot glass already on the bar. I picked it, downing the whole thing before turning back to Derek who laughter turned to a soft lazy smile as he started into nothing.

"Three more," I ordered to the bartender. Soon, I had three shots in front of me as Derek smoked on something with a woody oily smell.

Maybe it was the smell coming from Derek, or maybe the three shots I downed—maybe both—but I already started feeling my conscience leave my head.

I turned to Derek, my arms wrapping around his neck. He was hot—really, really hot, and maybe the red eyes were starting to suit him.

I looked to my side, the pipe stayed secure between his fingers.

Maybe one more bad decision wouldn't hurt.

I put my lips around the opening of the pipe and took a deep whiff. As the smoke went down my throat, it felt like a pack of dust climbed up my throat and without a control, a loud cough escaped my mouth. Following it, more coughs choked out of my mouth, wrenching my stomach. Derek laughed, without giving a fuck that I coughed straight onto his shirt.

He took a puff from the pipe, and a with a smile dancing on his lips, he opened his mouth, letting out a smoke that filled everything in my vision. I took a deep breath, inhaling whatever he had smoke out before crashing my lips against his. He tasted exactly what he smelled like, and on any other day, I would've walked away, but not tonight.

Breaking away from our kiss, he took in another smoke, and I followed him, this time, learning to control the scrubbing urge coming from the back of my throat.

With each kiss and every drag, everything around me felt simple. I felt lighter.

Blake still danced around in my mind, but he was happy. I was happy. He was so cute even though he wasn't here, but of course he was somewhere being cute. And Derek was cute too. And even the bartender—he was seriously cute, but he was behind the bar.

I looked at Derek. I was kissing him but not now obviously because my lips are with me. But I want to have an orgasm.

"Have you had sex with a vase, Derek?"

"Maybe. I don't know." He laughed silently, his eyes closing tightly. He took a deep breath to calm his laugh. "Ya know, you... you look like a vase." He laughed again.

"Thanks!" I grinned.

I grabbed his neck, kissing him again. His tongue slid over mine and my mouth hungrily opened for him. A sleepy, pleased moan left my mouth as I pulled him in even closer.

An arm broke us apart and Derek was pushed. He fell to the ground and looked up in confusion through his baggy eyes.

I laughed at him, feeling something around my waist. I was yanked around, and I would've fallen if it weren't for someone holding my arm tightly.

Something pointy pricked the inside of my elbow, making me moan in disapprovement, but it only stayed in me for a second, and the moment it was taken out, I started feeling dizzy.

My limp body was pulled against a hard one, and a breath fell on my ear as someone's lips brushed against it.

"What's your price now?"

Author's Note

One confession down. A few more to go.

Now, here are the teasers for the next chapter—

»»————-　★　————-««

"When did you get so heartless? I can't believe I ever loved you."

»»————-　★　————-««

"None of what you do makes any sense, Addy! Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it."

»»————-　★　————-««

"You're all I could think of no matter how much I try not to. It hurts me when I'm not near you. I hate it that I can't stay away from you, but at the same time, I love it because the way you make me feel is so phenomenal."

»»————-　★　————-««

"Why are your cheeks red?" His eyes raked over her body in confusion. "Why are you clothes torn?"

She remained silent, looking to the ground to avoid his gaze.

"Terra, did someone hurt you?"

»»————-　★　————-««

"I wish we could ever have a conversation without you throwing a tantrum!"

»»————-　★　————-««

I was about to get my clothes before his hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me back.

"Let me go!" I tried to wiggle out of his grip but he was stronger. He tried to reach out from my hand, but I didn't let him. With a strong pull, I fell onto the bed.

I tried to roll away from him, but he pulled my hand, trying to open my fist. He pushed me down on the bed, and climbed over me, pinning my hands to the bed. I almost got out of his grip , but he tightened his grip around me, holding me in place. He slowly moved his right hand from my wrist to my fist, trying to uncurl my fingers. I whined, twisting my wrists.

"Asher, let me go. You're hurting me."

»»————-　★　————-««

Yeah, also, Hazel chooses her guy in the next chapter :)

7 more chapters to go