Poppy's PoV

This was it. Oh God. Was I ready? There was so much I needed to say but would I say it all? Would I actually remember what I needed to say when I finally saw the one person I missed more than anything? It had been an insanely tough time but I felt like it was needed. I needed to assess myself, my situation and what was causing this pain that I knew all too well. Dr Forrester was right, I hadn't gone about it the best way but that's life. Sometimes the spur of the moment decision is one that's good and sometimes it's one you regret. I regretted this one.

I'd tidied up the house, made some cakes and had coffee ready for when he walked in. I tried to distract myself as much as I could with my hands shaking constantly as the nerves increased. I hadn't tried to work out what to say, it would only make me feel worse and in the end, I'd end up not being able to say anything. I needed to just come out with it when he was in front of me. As the doorbell went, I cradled and stroked my stomach to try and calm myself down. This was the beginning of yet another stressful time - as if we hadn't had enough of those.
I walked to the door, my legs like jelly as a shaky hand opened it, my eyes falling on the two people in front of me. Great. Calum had brought Ashton with him.

"Hey." I breathed out, moving aside as Calum and Ashton walked in silently. Cal's eyes barely even looked in the part of the room I was standing in, let alone at me. This was going to be a tough conversation.

"Good to see you, Poppy." Ashton said to cover up the deadly silence. I offered him a smile.

"You too." I said back, knowing there'd never be a good time to ask the question I was going to. "How comes you're here Ash?" He looked taken aback by my question, one that finally gauged a reaction from Calum.

"I wanted him here. I assumed I'd need the support." He said flatly, a venom in his tone that I wasn't used to. I gulped down the sick feeling and once again winced at the pain in my throat. Despite what Dr Forrester had said, I already knew this was it. The pain felt the same, the symptoms just as they were before. He was just trying to be nice.

"Oh. Right. I just thought it'd be us." I responded, not sure of the best way to say it. "I'm sorry Ashton, it's nothing personal." Ashton sighed and nodded, beginning to move towards the door before Calum grabbed his arm and pulled him back beside him.

"He's staying."

"Cal, Poppy made it clear that-" Ashton began but Calum interrupted.

"You're here to support me, not her." He snapped, an anger erupting from inside him. His eyes shot over to me for the first time, and it wasn't a pleasant look. "Whatever you want to say, he can hear it too." I let out a gasp, shocked at how little he cared about what I'd called him here for.

"Maybe I don't want him to hear it?" I said gently, my throat closing up as the sadness took over.

"Then it's not worth saying." Calum huffed, looking away from me. "Two weeks you've ignored me. For two weeks I've slept on Ash's sofa whilst he tried to keep me in some sort of normal routine. He fed me, clothed me and allowed me to remain in his home. You didn't give a shit. You didn't ask where I was staying, how I was, nothing! I texted or called every day and you didn't even have the decency to respond. You're lucky I even came here." He grabbed Ashton's arm and steered him towards the door. My chest tightened. They were about to leave. Panic set in. I needed to say something to keep him here. I needed to say anything.

"Sam came round." Was the first thing I could muster. Cal and Ash froze at the door, Calum's hand on the door handle. Ashton's eyes widened as he looked back to me, heart on my sleeve as I tried to get them to stay.

"Sam as in Dr Forrester?" Calum spoke to the door, too afraid to turn round. I choked back a sob as I mustered a quick response.

"Yeah."

"Shit." Ashton responded, his shoulders drooping as he looked back at Calum again.

"The pain in my throat. It's back." I bit my lips together to try and hold it together. "I panicked. I needed time to work out what it was. I'm sorry." Calum took a step back from the door and slowly turned to face me. For once, he looked into my eyes and I saw that vulnerability I was dreading. I never wanted this to happen again.

"What did he say?"

"I need more tests. I know it is, Cal. I'm scared." The sobs I'd been holding finally came rushing to the surface and I let out all those pent up emotions. All those days of worrying by myself, why did I even do it to myself? "Things kept coming up, I kept getting upset or angry. I needed to make sure the pain wasn't because I was screaming at people." I felt like I was barely making any sense. My hands came up to my face as I tried to capture the tears, hiding my ugly crying. This exact moment was the moment I'd felt most alone and I'd done that to myself. Within a second, warm arms wrapped around me - two pairs of them, and for a moment we were all still, silent, appreciative of each other. "I'm so stupid." I mumbled into the hug. "I'm so sorry. Both of you." Calum's hand soothed my back as he silenced me.

"Don't say anything of the sort." He began, his voice music to my lonely ears. "We will get through this again. All of us. Lets wait for the tests to come back and then we'll work out what we need to do."