Calum's PoV

I could barely function as we hung out backstage before the gig started in an hour's time. The guys were all eating, enjoying their time together laughing and joking whilst I sat in a trance at the side of the room, staring down at my phone as if looking at Poppy's pregnancy photo on my lock screen was going to solve all my issues. We all knew it wasn't. In fact, I already knew there was absolutely nothing that would solve these issues now. Mali-Koa had offered to go to the hospital once Poppy had given birth and support her as much as she could, updating me as she went - but even she was hesitant bearing in mind they had only met a few times. They'd spoken on video calls a lot but that was a whole different scenario to being in a room whilst Poppy gave birth. We had no other option than to see who was freest of the girls and ask one of them to go. Sierra luckily had just finished her work and said she'd be more than happy to, as long as Poppy let her in. She let us know a little while ago now that the induction had started and Poppy was in reasonably high spirits, but nothing could make the hours count down faster to when I could call her after this gig.

"Just call her now, Cal." Michael spoke out of nowhere. It was only then that I realised the room was silent and all three men were looking in my direction.

"It'll mess my head up before the show." I lied, knowing that I just wanted to wait until I was at home in case I broke down or said something stupid that the guys wouldn't forget. I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair.

"You're a mess now anyway." Ashton added, knowing he could as my best friend. I wanted to smirk and shake my head at his dumb comment but I knew the truth behind it. "You've not eaten and you're all tense, zoning out all the time." I shot a glare over to him.

"Can you blame me?!" I snapped, letting my emotions get the better of me. I knew I shouldn't be taking it out on them but where else could I show my true colours with no one to judge? "My wife is in another country being induced to have our baby within the next day because her cancer is so bad they need to treat it now! And what can I do to help? I'm fucking stuck here playing songs to people who don't have a fucking clue what I'm going through, trying to fake being happy for hours whilst I'm in pain." I barked, turning away from them to furiously wipe away some stray tears.

"Don't blame the fans, man." Luke chimed in. "We know you're going through the worst stuff right now, but management have said they can't budge. If anyone's to blame it'd be them."

Management. Always the ones calling the shots for us, but what if their wife was giving birth? Or had cancer? I bet they'd be able to take the time off. Funny how I'm not allowed to.

"Don't worry, I'll be having words with them too." I hissed lowly, turning my back on the guys as I unlocked my phone and stared at my thousands of photos, clicking on different ones to see a happier time with Poppy. Photos of us at the beach, at an arcade, having ice cream at the pier, on holidays, at restaurants around the world whilst we toured - and my favourites- the absolutely stupid, most goofy photos taken of us around our house or with our friends; pulling faces, holding up drinks, pouty lips, early morning photos with no makeup or hair done, evening film nights where we are all cosy. Those were what I lived for. Once our baby was here, I was going to give her the biggest and best date night ever even if it did involve being at home because the baby was small. We were going to get back to these happier times.

My phone buzzed suddenly.

Sierra: hey cal, sorry I know you're about to go on stage. Pops just wanted to say good luck for the gig and she'll speak to you later. The labour is coming on now, the pessary must have worked quite well! I'll keep you updated x

I reread the message over and over. At least she was okay, she had support and she knew someone was there for her. Sam promised to pop in when he could too, but sometimes was called away for other urgent things.

Me: thanks Si. Tell her I love her and I can't wait to speak to her. I'm a mess sitting out here feeling helpless. Thanks so much for stepping in x

Again the corners of my eyes stung as I fought back the tears. I desperately wiped at them in the hope it'd tell my body to stop trying to cry. I didn't have time for that right now. I stared at my phone, barely blinking, as I awaited a response.

Sierra: I'm more than happy to help. I'm just sorry you couldn't be here. Feel honoured that she feels I'm close enough to encounter this special moment 🥰 she says she loves you too. The midwife is coming now, I'll text later x

And just like that, my happiness was dashed again. I needed those updates, those small interactions to know that something was happening and that it was going well. For now, I felt happy and content that Sierra said it was going well. There was a possibility that within the next few days, I'd have my own boy or girl to hold in my arms and sing to and rock to sleep just how Michael had been telling us he did with India. All those stories were not only adorable but were now preparing me for a time in the very close future where I'd end up using those techniques or ideas to my own child.

In a few days, I was going to be a dad.