Poppy's PoV

The heartbreakingly raw moments that followed would never be forgotten, for as long as we both lived. Whilst our little son slept, Calum pulled out the clippers he had used to make his most dramatic of hair changes, and helped me shave my hair. I thought I'd cry, sob at how hideous I looked without my long locks and make Calum feel terrible but actually, as my dead hair fell to the floor, I felt a sense of accomplishment. I was covering up my sickness, I was going to rock this look and i was going to do it well. No one would suspect anything, quiz him in interviews and make it awkward. We were once again getting through something together.
He gave me a long hug afterwards, before telling me to head to bed just to rest up whilst he got everything ready for our baby's next meal of the day.
I sat on the bed, flicking through the filters on social media to find the one that hid my under eye bags the best and gave me a slightly more tanned glow that would stop people wondering if I was ill. When I finally found the best one, I snapped a couple of selfies and posted the best ones on my social media accounts.

Thought I'd try something new while I can 😂 what do you think?? 💕

The fans flocked to comment on my shaved hair, some saying they loved it, some hating it and some saying I needed to dye it a bright colour if I was experimenting. I smiled at the love they were giving me, making me feel like I did before I was sick. Everything felt like normal for a moment.

I'll be experimenting with wigs, lengths and colours just to see what I like. Calum's been my inspiration 😂

Before I knew it, Calum was back in the room watching me from the door. I patted the bed beside me and he jumped into it, shuffling to hug me tightly.

"I really do love seeing you smile." He said softly as he kissed my temple. I put my phone down and turned to him, wrapping my hands around him too. "And, you know? You suit a shaved head." We both let out a laugh as we made the most of the quiet time before our baby awoke.

"I was thinking..." I said, the last work elongated.

"Uh oh." Calum joked, making me smack him on the arm.

"No, seriously. We need to come up with a name for our baby. He has to be registered soon. I have an idea for a name but I don't know if you'll like it?" Calum's eyes widened.

"You really had time to do that as well?" He said in surprise.

"Shut up and take me seriously for once." I rolled my eyes, knowing he was teasing me on purpose. He grinned childishly as he nodded.

"Sure, what name did you think of?" He cocked an eyebrow as he waited for my answer.

"Kai." I said, suddenly feeling like I'd said something crazy and ridiculous. For a moment Calum paused, his jaw dropped open and his eyes wide as he stared back at me. He seemed to fall into deep thought before a smile spread across his face.

"I love it." He grabbed my hands in his. "It fits him so well!" He looked giddy with excitement.

"It's a Maori name too, I thought it'd be nice to link it with your heritage." I shrugged, once again feeling stupid. Had I overthought this? Was he about to say I needed to focus my time on something else?

"It's perfect." He said softly, pulling me into a hug. "It'll be me, you and Kai against the world. We can fight through anything." He stroked my now short hair with his hand, relishing the feeling of us being together.

"I love you cal." I said quietly into his chest. I could hear his breathing shudder as he took in what I said and retaliated.

"I love you too." It didn't take long before he pulled himself away from me and said he was going to make a snack. I shook my head when he offered, knowing that anything I ate wasn't going to stay down for long. Alongside the hair loss, the nausea and vomiting had remained. I had been so happy to have Calum back with me but hated that he was doing this when I was sick. Part of me knew, deep down, that this whole time off with me was making him a mess. He could see I was beginning to deteriorate, he was trying to look after both me and Kai and he knew he was on a countdown until he went back to work. I knew there was only one person I could rely on to help me help him. I yanked my phone out quickly.

Me: SOS, best friend needed urgently

Ashton: why? What's happened???

Me: I think cal is having a breakdown and I can't help him 😭

Ashton: oh no! What's up?

Me: my hair fell out so he helped me shave it. I think he's panicking because I'm sick and he can't help me. It's been a stressful time for him since you all came home and I feel terrible

Ashton: no! We aren't blaming ourselves for this. He just needs time to adjust but honestly we don't have it, we're back on tour in a week

Me: yeah, he's really trying to be kind and sweet to me but I can tell he isn't coping

Ashton: so you want me to talk with him?

Me: no! I want you to have a guys night out. I'll invite the girls over and we can catch up. I just want him to feel normal for a night. To be a guy who doesn't have a bald sick wife and a newborn baby who's up every two hours and one who doesn't have to worry or think about anything.
Me: please I beg you

Ashton: I never thought I'd see the day where someone was begging me to take cal out 😂 look what happened when the guys all went out last time!

Me: yeah please don't let him fall down any flights of stairs this time 😂

Ashton: of course, I'll arrange something with the guys now. You've got a big heart Pops, I'm proud of you and how strong you are going through all this shit

Me: be proud of me when I make it through this. If I do.

Ashton: we've talked about this! Positive thinking!!!