Poppy's PoV

I'd wanted to check up on him, in the hope he was having a great time, but I knew I should leave it. Any mention of me might remind him of what's going on and that's the last thing he needs.

"I can't believe we didn't do this sooner." Bex laughed as she spooned slightly melted ice cream into her mouth, groaning in satisfaction. All the girls were together watching a random mix of movies, laughing and eating as much as we could. Today there was no calorie counting, no watching what we ate, we didn't care if we ate crisps for twelve hours straight, we were living our lives right tonight. The doorbell rang and echoed the room.

"Pizza!!" Sierra called as she ran to the door, coming back with four large pizzas. I said I'd share a slice or two from someone else's but with my appetite as low as ever, I didn't want to waste any. The smell was amazing, though it did make me nauseous, and I watched as everyone's eyes lit up and they devoured their slices.

"Bex did you actually eat ice cream before pizza?" Mali-Koa double checked. Bex let out a giggle, despite her mouth being full, and nodded.

"Poppy said all rules were out of the window!" She laughed and I giggled too, sipping my water in the hope I could keep something down for a few hours. In the background, The Mummy played with Brendon Frasier running around and fighting and every now and again when a snippet of something exciting was happening, we'd all fall silent to watch it and then resume the conversation afterwards.

"So what happens next with your treatment?" Crystal was beside me breastfeeding India. She was so peaceful, dressed in a little floral dress and small frilly ankle socks - obviously not dressed by Michael who had last time put her in a Metallica shirt. Luckily for me, Kai was asleep in his cot again and the bottle was cooling and ready for his next feed. Crystal had asked me quietly, hoping that everyone else would lay off the subject. I sighed.

"The side effects are awful. I've got another couple of rounds and then they're going to check if it's any better. It should, hopefully, have caused it to shrink and then they'll see if they can remove it through surgery." I sounded like a recording of what the doctors had said to me, positivity being the key. Crystal knew this, I could tell, and after a quick look round to check no one was listening she asked me the dreaded question.

"But what do you think?" It felt like my body had folded like origami as I tried to hide the dread that wanted to spread on my face. Of course, I had my own opinions on what had happened but I never wanted to share them.

"I don't know." I sighed, softening the blow. "Part of me feels like it hasn't been doing as much as I wanted it to. The symptoms are still bad." I shrugged like it was no big deal. It kind of was though as it possibly meant the chemo wasn't working. It could, however just meant it was shrinking it from the root as opposed to the part that was causing my hoarse voice and therefore I'd be fine. Right now I had no idea and that's what worried me the most. As if the world knew I wanted that conversation to end, Kai started crying. "Sorry I'll be back." The movie had got to a good bit that had attracted everyone's attention to the point Sierra was just patting the table with eyes glued to the screen in the hope she'd find her pizza without having to look away.
I headed to Kai's cot and picked him up, wrapping my arms around him lovingly and really making the most of every encounter with him. He must have sensed it was me as his cries calmed down almost instantly and I took him to the kitchen, humming as I did so. I made sure the bottle was cool and headed into the front room where everyone was still distracted. With a quick nappy change, Kai was now ready for his bottle and I sat back beside Crystal as he began to drink. Kai looked up at me with love in his eyes, so happy that his needs were being met.

"He's the cutest ever." Crystal cooed as she took him in whilst I held him in my arms, he gulped down his milk, more than happy with life at the moment.

"Thanks Crystal. India is beautiful too." I smiled happily. "And I think we've come up with a name." All the girls spun round instantly, as if nothing was ever distracting them in the first place. Crystal laughed out loud at the action as everyone waited for me to continue.

"The little guy finally has a name?" Mali's face lit up at the news. I nodded.

"Well it's not one hundred percent decided but I think it will be." I rambled on as he drank. "We thought the name Kai would be nice. It's a Maori name." Mali looked like her heart was melting as she took in the name whilst she looked down at the little guy who every day looked more like Calum in my eyes.

"Yes! I love it!" Bex called out, another spoonful of ice cream nearing her lips.

"He looks like a Kai." Sierra added with a nod and Crystal smiled happily beside me.

"I think it's perfect." She said, finally sitting India up to burp her as she slipped her bra back on properly. She gave me a one armed hug as I fed Kai and we fell into a comfortable silence. It was short lived though as the guys burst through the door, all talking over each other to Calum who seemed to be angrier than I'd seen him in ages. He slammed the bedroom door shut as the guys skidded to a halt in the middle of our girls night, all laughing awkwardly and apologetically as they began to back out. It didn't take long for the girls to grab hold of their partners and force the information out of them.

"What the hell happened out there? You were supposed to be cheering him up!" Bex snapped, receiving her obligatory smack on the arm from Sierra.

"He's really not coping. It's not good at all."