Thanks to @Emma1791 for the Snobby aesthetic

"Get up," I hear him whisper as I start to wake up. Then, "if you want to come with us you wretched elf you'd best get your buttocks out of this bed before I decide to fry them off." There is a long silence before what sounds like heavy feigned snoring. "You have until the count of three. 1...2..." I realize what is going on right in time so as he's saying,"3," I sit up and say,

"What's going on Draco?" He speaks to me though he is glaring at the elf. "We're leaving for Australia today to find your parents and I was trying to get this stupid elf out of bed—"

"HEY!", Snobby interrupts, and I counter that by telling him to shush.

"—so that we wouldn't be held up by him." Snobby huffs around in grumpy anger but all I heard was "Australia" and "parents" so I was thrilled.

"Oh my goodness, Draco! You really mean it!? We're actually going to Australia! And today!" I knock him over with the force of my massive hug and start kissing him excitedly.

"Woah Hermione bubble space please," he says pushing me away gently.

"The fuck is bubble space?", I ask him in a playfully grumpy way. "I don't like it. I like you." Then I poke him in the nose and start up in a fit of uncontrollable giggling. This time its Draco who kisses me.

"Get a room you two," a voice whispers in my ear. I leap back screaming. Snobby has somehow made his way from the floor to directly behind me without making a sound, something I thought to be impossible for him.

"We are in a room." I glare at him. "We're on our bed in our room."

"And you know what happens in our room, Snobby?", Draco asks with a smirk.

"Oh do tell wise old man," Snobby cackles while dodging a blow from Draco's fist.

"Well sometimes...we do dirty —" But Draco gets cut off by Snobby laughing hysterically on the floor.

"What like roll around in the mud?"

Draco rolls his eyes and says "Don't worry Mione. I'll get him out of here in no time. " He whispers some more instructions to me and I nod to acknowledge that I heard. Before I can even think Draco has pushed me back against the headboard. He starts kissing me as if there's no tomorrow, his tongue exploring new depths of my mouth. His hands start to remove my shirt and we break from kissing only to remove it. I open one eye slightly and see Snobby staring in fascination. I mumble something and Draco nods. He removes his shirt and lets me take control of the kissing. Starting at his neck I continue down his body until I reach his stomach. I peek a little look at Snobby and see his eyes look fit to burst out of his skull. So, I slowly unzip Draco's pants while our mouths reconnect and start to put my hand in there. Draco moans a moan into my mouth. One that I cannot tell if its real or not but it really turns me on and Snobby off, doing its job.

"PDA!!!", Snobby screams and starts running around in circles. "PDA PDA PDA PDA PDA!!!"

"Snobby if you don't like it then leave," Draco says into my shoulder with his eyes closed to keep himself calm. He obviously wants to keep going now.

"Okay!", Snobby shouts. He then runs towards the door, throwing a blanket over top of our heads on his way out. The door closes with a slam and a click like that of a door locking.

"He didn't just—", I start.

"—lock us in?", Draco finishes for me. "Yeah, I think he just did."

"Dammit," I grumble. Then I roll off of Draco and onto the floor. He looks at me sadly. "What do you want from me, Draco? You were the one who said we needed to leave as soon as we possibly could and that you were worried about being late yet all you seem to want to do is snog me all day." Draco's face turned as red as a Weasley's hair as he replied,

"I don't want to snog all day I just—", he mumbled the last bit.

"Sorry dear, I didn't quite catch that."

"I just like snogging you," he finished with embarrassment. "And...", but he couldn't finish so I did for him.

"And that wretched green apple you're always carrying around. Yes, Draco, we know. It's almost as if you love apples more than me."

"Wha—no Hermione I never said that," he says defensively, nervously running a hand through his hair. Then, "how'd you find out...?"

"Draco darling I'm just messing with you," I reach over and start tickling his side. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good, fresh apple now and then. You're just such a worrier and you're so secretive that how can I not tease you!?Anyways, lets go." I take his hand and help him off the bed. "We have lots to pack to go find all your best things for the trip and I'll pack them." We run around the room packing our things into a small bag. I used a special charm to make it fit more. Finally we're finished packing.

"Now we just have to get out," Draco groans. I walk up to the door and try Alohamora which I didn't really expect to work. Then, I spend the next ten minutes bribing Snobby with chocolate until he finally lets us out with a,

"Are you finished screwing around in there?", to which I laugh and reply that we are.

Draco leads the way out of the house. The three of us walk for hours until it is almost sunset. Finally, Draco spots an old tin can. "Portkey," he says to me. "One of dad's old friends set it up for me special. Its not trackable or anything." We grab on and with a pull behind the navel and a lot of dizziness we find ourselves at our destination.

"Welcome to Australia Hermione!" I reach up and kiss him lightly on the lips. Snobby turns away in disgust and mentions something about using soap to wash his poor eyes out. "We really need to find him a girlfriend," Draco says accompanied by a massive eye roll.

"Or a boyfriend," I say matter of factly.

"A significant other, then," Draco agrees with a wink. I tale his hand and after one last kiss, lean into his shoulder and stare at the beautiful sight of Australia while the puking commences.