Nothing is all I felt.

How is this possible?

The whole world disappeared and it was just me. I was the only person left standing, all noises, smells, disappeared and I became numb, and nothing is all I could feel. Nothing is the only thing that seems real to me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around what I just read. This person is no longer just some random pervert, this person knew things. This person knew things that no one knew. This person knew my deepest secrets, I can't hide, I can't run, because this person knows everything.

Jessica, answer me.

I am lost.

Jessica, answer me.

Where do I go?

Jessica, answer me.

What do they want?

Jessica, answer me.

Who are they?

The words I read chanted to me in my head. I felt dizzy, I don't know what is going on anymore. A soft knock on the door brought me back to reality. I jumped and pushed myself away from the door, unsure of who it was.

"Um Jay? Are...you okay?" Tyler's voice put me at ease. I closed my eyes and held my phone to my chest. Tyler's Voice was a whisper, and sounded shaky. He sounded a little worried.

I debated on telling him the truth, but In the end I know he would tell Kyla. I put my phone on the bathroom counter and sat back down on the floor. I put my head in between my knees and wrapped my arms around them. "Yeah. It was... ju-just Cathy. Her friends were just pulling a prank, everything is fine."

Everything could be far from fine. My life was falling apart at the hands of a masked figure. Someone who I never knew existed, someone who knew everything about me. This person must have been doing this for a long time to know my name. This is someone who waited, someone who prayed on the weak, this person waited in the shadows, watching and learning. Watching me, studying me, finding things I thought I had left behind completely.

I tried to stop the tears, but they were traitors who I couldn't control. I bit my lip hard trying not to make a sound. They could be watching me now, listening to me. I wanted to disappear, I wanted nothing to do with myself. I have been used as entertainment, and I am disgusted with myself. Disgusted I let this happen, I let someone use me.

I stop breathing as I hear a ping come from my phone. "Okay? Are you sure?" Tyler said slowly disappearing from my mind.

"Yeah." I could hear a sigh and his foot steps walk away before saying something, but my mind was too focused on the phone to hear what he said.

I stood up and picked up my phone opening the message.

Unknown: Angel, are you okay?

That same name was written on the note. Any doubts that I had about them not being the same person vanished. I turned off my phone not allowing myself to be subjugated to this torture anymore. I stuffed my phone into my pocket and looked into the mirror.

There I was, still in one piece. I am okay, I am not hurt, I am not dying, I am perfectly okay. I can forget this for tonight, and deal with this in the morning. I don't want to think about anything, not even happy thoughts. I just want to simply be. I opened the glass cabinet to search for some sleeping pills. I dug through it only finding unused toothbrushes, toothpaste, and other random things. When I was about to give up I saw a purple bottle. I pulled it out pleased I had found what I was looking for. Written on the top was a name, but the sharpie had been smudged and I couldn't make it out. They were gummy's, but they would do for now.

Shrugging my shoulders I took out two and placed the bottle back where I found it. Once I swallowed them I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened the door back up and walked into the living room where I found everyone sleeping as if nothing happened. To them nothing did happen, but to me I could never be the same. Before I couldn't feel it, but now I felt the eyes, and the stare constantly watching me. Burning into my soul and not letting go. Tyler had taken my spot on the couch leaving me enough room next to Kyla. I smiled to myself happy that we switched. I needed someone familiar right now.

If this were to happen while my parents were still alive things would be different. I would feel safe and protected knowing my Dad would protect me. My mom would hold my hand and tell me I would be okay, and Cathy and I would play not having a care in the world. But now, I am alone. I don't have someone to protect me, I only have myself. I only have myself to watch out for me, I have to hold my own hand and tell me I'm okay, and I have to be the one making sure Cathy is safe and happy.

But how much of that could I actually take before I break?

I sat down and pulled a blanket over my shoulder, acting as if it was a shield from the boogeyman. Kyla moaned a little and lifted her head up to look at me. I gave her a soft smile, she smiled back and laid back down. In the dark I know she couldn't tell but the tears streamed down my face landing next to her on the couch.

•••

The car ride was dead silent. Kyla was just tired and was not in the mood to talk; she just wasn't a morning person. I on the other hand was in the middle of a silent panic attack. Surprisingly last night was the best sleep I had gotten in a long time. But when I woke up my problems hit me hard in the face.

We all ate breakfast and parted out ways. I tried to stay longer, saying I was in no rush, but Kyla had to work. Almost every chance I got I looked at the text messages I received last night in hopes it was all a nightmare. Each time I am let down seeing the dreadful messages.

I texted Cathy that I was not feeling well. This was partly true, but in all honesty I didn't want her at my house. I didn't even want her near me until I find out what is going on. I clinched my hands together when I saw my house.

"Hey so I was thinking?" Kyla said in a tired voice. She pulled into my driveway and I stalled taking my seatbelt off.

"That's never good."I teased her lightly while she gave me a contemptuous glare.

"Shut up. I was going to ask if you wanted to go dress shopping with me?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, the dance isn't for a while."

"Yeah well if we go now we can get good deals, plus they won't be all sold out." I nodded my head liking the idea of a cheap dress. Money was not usually a problem, but when I have to pay bills, buy food, and gas, buying stuff that's not important makes me cringe. "I'll text you when I get out of work when I'm going." She said and looked at me impatiently.

I know she has to go, she has to work in a hour. But I can't move a muscle. When I'm alone, I'm not fully alone. I am alone with them. "Dude I gotta go!"

I nodded my head and gave her a smile. "Yeah, I know. Tell Cathy I'll see her soon okay?"

She stopped and looked at me completely confused. "Wait, what the hell? She is not coming over?" Her eyes were wide and she looked almost scared.

"No I'm not feeling the best."

She slowly nodded her head while eyeing me. I never cancel on Cathy, but I can't put her in harms way. Not with this person following me. "Okay...just feel better alright?"

"Promise! I love you."I grabbed my bag and slowly got out of the car. The cool breeze made me shiver and regretting I didn't put a coat on.

I watched as she pulled out into the road driving away leaving me to face the unknown. I turned to look back at my house. It was a cozy house, not too big but not too small. However, looking at it now it was like looking at a slaughterhouse. Sighing I walked in.

I was warmer inside, but the goosebumps on my skin stayed. I sat on the couch and pulled my phone out. I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or even think because of this person. Questions just follow me wherever I go and I need them answered. With shaking hands and my heart beating fast I sent a text to the unknown person.

Me: Did you leave the flowers?

I could feel my breathing quicken and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. Within seconds the person replied.

Unknown: yes

Me: who are you?

I knew this person was not going to tell me but this is just something I have to ask.

Unknown: I'm sorry Angel, I can't tell you right now.

I felt disgusted once again when I read that text. What did they mean? My anxiety was high. I was actually talking to this person, I was talking to the devil himself.

Me: what the fuck do you mean?

Unknown: I would watch your language

I stood up, completely terrified from the threat. I wanted to stop replying, but something told me I didn't want to make this person mad.

Me: why are you following me?

Once again not a second went by before there was a reply.

Unknown: Any response I give you will only sound crazy and make you worry more. So does is even matter?

I was taken back by the boldness and rudeness of the reply. I don't know what I expected, but something deep down told me I didn't expect this.

Me: You are invading my privacy. So yeah it does.

Unknown: you would have never noticed if I didn't send a note. Don't act so full of yourself baby.

I gasped at the texts I was receiving. My stomach twisted. I thought of all the possible scenarios this could end, and not one seemed pleasant. The first thing that popped into my head was a disgusting, old, perverted man, that watched young girls. I shivered and sat back down covering every part of my body with a blanket.

Ignoring what he said I decided on asking a question that scared me the most.

Me: How did you know my real name?

When I was younger everyone called me Jessie. But when I got older I insisted that I was called Jay. No one had called me Jessica since I was ten. No one knew my real name, I decided it was best to keep it to myself. I don't even know if Cathy knows what my real name is. At school I tell the teachers in advance to call me by my nickname. My parents hated the nickname and would refuse to say it. Now that they are gone I try to just leave it in the past, something's just need to stay there.

Unknown: I know more about you then you think.

I grimaced as I saw the reply.

Me: you know nothing about me. So please just leave me alone.

Out of all the texts I had received all of them I had came in seconds. But this time there wasn't a reply. I waited, five, ten, fifteen minutes waiting for the response. I had given up hope and decided to focus on my breathing when my phone vibrated.

Unknown: I know it bugs you when people call Nutty Buddies, Nutty Bars. I know you love yellow tulips because it reminds you of home. I know you love chocolate chip cookies because it reminds you of your dad. I know you love butterflies. I know you want to travel around the world. Preferably Uganda, despite what everyone says. And on Christmas Eve no matter what anyone says, you will watch Its A Wonderful Life, because it's you're favorite movie. You hate your glasses and only wear them at night. You refuse to wear socks to bed, and even if it's freezing outside the window has to be open so you can see the stars. You have read A Brief History of Time three times, and still don't understand a thing inside it. I know you would do anything for Cathy. You miss your family and would do anything to be part of a family again. And I know you are terrified of me.

I froze unable to comprehend what I was reading.

Unknown: But don't ever tell me to leave Angel. I will always be here to protect you. You are the only thing I have, and I won't let a fucking thing take away my happiness.

I stared at my phone shocked at everything this person just said. It was all true, every last thing. How could this person know these things? These were things that you would have t really be close to me to know. How long has this person been watching me? Are they watching me now? Under normal conditions, I would be bawling my eyes out. I would normally be shaking and sitting in a corner rocking myself to sleep. But this time I feel completely emotionless. I have no tears left, nothing seems to truly shock me, and all I feel is emptiness. How is it that this stranger knows more about me, then I do?

Me:I will call the cops, I mean it stay away from me freak.

I got a sudden burst of confidence after realizing that now I have proof to show the police. They can track the phone, or do whatever it is they do in the movies. And I won't have a single thing to worry about, no problems, no sleepless nights, and most importantly no stalkers. My confidence was wiped away by my own stupidity to forget his leverage. He knew everything about me, and knew my weakness.

Unknown: I will say it again, and don't test me Jess. Do not ever, and I fucking mean it, tell me to leave again. Have you forgotten I know everything about you? I don't ever plan on hurting you or your sister, but do you really want to risk it?

This was my breaking point. I would do anything to make sure nothing happens to Cathy. She was still innocent and unlike me, knew nothing of the terrors the world supplied. This is what separates us. I knew the things people would do to get what they wanted. The things that ripped your soul and took everything you had left away. I was once like this, completely naive to the world I lived in. Cathy doesn't need to see anything, or have anything bad happened to her. That is my job to make sure.

Me: I will do anything as long as you promise to stay away from my sister.

Unknown: Look who is finally catching on.

Me: do not go near her.

Unknown: Trust me love, I wouldn't think of it.

I was confused by what they said. Was the threat they had mentioned before empty? Would this person even have gone near her? I ask myself this but like they said, it's not a risk I am willing to take.

Me:Do not call me that you fucking psychopath.

Unknown: what did I say about language?

Me: Are you watching me now?

Unknown: No

I let out a sigh of relief knowing this person wasn't near me. They could be lying, but I'd like to think they were truthful. I decided I was done texting this psycho. I didn't want anything more to do with them. I looked down at my phone when I heard one last ping.

Unknown:You need to rest and get some sleep. I don't want to see you like this anymore, it hurts me to know I'm hurting you.

Anger was the only thing I could now feel. They are upset because they are hurt. I have cried myself to sleep, stoped eating, and felt completely helpless for the past few weeks; And they expect me to feel sorry that their disorder or obsession or whatever it was that was wrong with them was my problem? I felt no empathy for their pain.

I set my phone down doing my best to forget everything, and try to remember the last time I was happy. This turned out to be a harder task then I thought.

***

Sorry for the bad chapter! This one is definitely not my favorite, but at least it's done. I might go back and change so things. But anyway here it is!

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I love you!!