I didn't always hold grudges. With parents like Callahan and Colleen, you learn to take love where you can find it and ignore everything else.

I don't know how long we sat on that floor but, for as long as I cried, Fallon told me he was sorry. He loved me. He would never hurt me again and eventually I believed him.

"I love you," I said with a pout, as Fallon held me close, kissing my cheek.

"I love you," he hummed, pulling away to examine what I'm sure was a blotchy face. "I hate when you cry," Fallon told me.

"Then don't make me cry," I mumbled, feeling embarrassed and small.

We sat beside each other on the edge of his bed, unable to look Fallon in the eyes as I quietly held his hand.

"What now?" I wondered, unsure where we went from there.

"Whatever you want." He spoke in a hushed tone. "We can start over, we can start from here, we can pretend we've been together since the day we met. Whatever you want to do, I'll do it because I can't think straight when it comes to you, so I'm going to let you run point."

I took a moment to think about what I wanted. I didn't want to start over but I couldn't pretend anymore. I told him I wanted to start from that moment. I wanted to go on a date. I wanted him to hold my hand. I wanted him to walk me to my door and kiss me goodnight.

"Wait... you're still making me sleep in King's room?" he asked.

"I'm not making you. The couch is always an option," I said, climbing onto the bed to look outside the window.

It was coming down heavy so I decided to braid back my hair before we went out to eat. I wanted burgers.

"I like your hair down," Fallon told me.

"And I would like your hair short, but we can't always get what we want. Besides, my hair doesn't do well with humidity," I said, sitting in his swivel chair to braid back my hair.

"If it's that big of a deal we could just watch a movie here and order food," Fallon suggested leaning back on his bed.

I thought about it for a moment. I'm not a fan of the rain and so I agreed, unraveling my braid and reminding my new boyfriend I was still angry with him.

"But you still love me, right?" Fallon asked with a hopeful smile.

"I'll always love you." I smiled back, leaning down for a kiss.

It felt strange. Pulling away, I looked at Fallon skeptically.

"What?" He smiled, pulling me onto his lap.

"Every time we kiss, something terrible happens," I mumbled, waiting for the left shoe to drop.

He laughed slightly, promising no more drama as we crawled onto the bed.

"You swear?" I pouted as he kissed me softly.

"I swear," he said, drawing me in.

We wrapped our arms around each other, our kisses deepening as I was hit with a rush of longing. I tugged Fallon on top of me but it didn't feel close enough, I lifted off my top before peeling off his shirt wanting to feel his skin on mine again.

"I love you," I sighed as Fallon kissed my neck.

"I love you too, baby," he said, hovering over me as if waiting for direction.

I thought it was strange until I remembered Fallon wanted me to run point. I caressed by hand over my exposed cleavage and requested he kiss me there, Fallon doing as asked without hesitation.

My mother told me it would hurt. She said all boys knew how to do was bang against you until they finished but we didn't get that far because before we could the lights cut on.

Present:

There isn't much to do here without Fallon. He's been held up in his office for hours and I've exhausted any possible way of entertaining myself.

I can't turn on the television without hearing about Jade. I don't want to think about her or Fallon's secret identity as Green Dean.

I wrote in my journal. Had a snack. Tried to listen to music but the first thing to flood my ears was their song. I can't listen to it without seeing Fallon and Jade in the throes of passion.

I can't wrap my mind around it. When we're together, Fallon is tentative and gentle; he literally only dives half mass to avoid hurting me but, in the song, he is all about pleasure from pain.

I close my eyes and try to meld the man with the myth. Searching the archives of my mind, I can only recall three times Fallon had been anything close to the man in the song, suddenly remembering Clark Kent has a peculiar kryptonite.

Fallon Lynch can't hold cognac.

One drink, he's fine. Two, he's rosy-cheeked. Three, and he is exceedingly affectionate. Four, man and myth fuse.

It's probably wrong to ply my lover to get him to hurt me good, but Fallon is a control freak. If it's that sense of control keeping me from getting the sex I deserve, then his hangover tomorrow will be worth it.

I've done worse, besides, he needs to blow off steam.

I grab a sweater and umbrella before heading to the liquor store a few blocks away. When I return, I realize I left my phone on the coffee table. A slip of the mind on my quest for some great dick.

I also didn't think to check if the door is a slam lock, so here I am, standing at the front door with a bottle of cheap liquor and soggy feet.

I've knocked, but that room must be soundproof. Looking around the hall, I try to decide which of these uniform taupe doors look the friendliest, settling on 20N.

My hunch is correct. A small older woman opens the door, excited to see me.

"Hi, I live in 23N," I say to keep things simple.

"Oh!" she cheers. "Come in, come in. I had heard a couple had moved in, but I didn't know you would be so young."

She's mistaking me for someone. Depending on how you look at it, Fallon is young - he's twenty-eight and already so successful within his career but - he doesn't have girlfriends,so he isn't the new couple.

She doesn't need to know that; I'm only here to use her phone.

"Yeah, we've been together since I was fifteen." I play along.

"Your boyfriend - husband?" she asks, and I'm almost tempted to call Fallon my husband, but it feels disrespectful to Gage.

"Yeah," I reply.

"He certainly is a looker. Those green eyes; there was a board meeting where we just spoke about them for an hour," she giggles, and my mind stutters.

She is talking about Fallon. I guess someone saw one of his lovers and assumed they were a couple. The thought sours my mood.

"Yeah, I love him," I say, alarmed by how easy it is.

I clear my throat and explain my situation and the fact I don't want to travel to the front desk to use the phone.

"May I please use yours?" I smile.

Her smile extends, telling me it's been a while since she's seen someone in my generation so polite. It's conditioning. Between Colleen and Yaran, I'm basically a fucking show dog.

"Thank you, my mother would be happy to hear that," I say as she leads me to her cord phone, expressing how much she loved the thank you card.

"I assume you wrote it, the calligraphy was so delicate," she gushes.

She's on the nose. Colleen had taught me calligraphy as a girl. It was one of the few times she had spent with me that wasn't picking at my looks or personality.

If we were a couple I would be the one handling written correspondence because Fallon has shit handwriting. We grew up in a time where people don't write letters, and his penmanship is truly an insult to chicken scratch so I guess his assistant sent the note.

Now I feel bad about her getting fired.

"Thank you, my mother insisted I take courses," I say.

Fallon pokes his head out the door, a curious expression on his face as I make my way down the hall.

"When did you step out?" he asks.

"When I did." I greet him with a kiss. "The woman in 20N is Barbra. I accepted an invitation to dinner with her and her husband tomorrow and she probably thinks we're married." I fill him in, Fallon a mix of amused and perplexed.

"How long have we been married?" he asks.

"I don't know. In this alternate universe we've been together since I was fifteen. When would you have proposed?" I place the umbrella in the holder and pass him the bottle to remove my sweater.

"Seven years," Fallon announces.

"No, keep it together, Lynch. We've been together ten years," I remind him, as Fallon wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek.

"I'm great at math. We would have been together nine years. We planned to elope when you were eighteen,," he reminds me, and I don't enjoy the fuzzy feeling it creates.

I pull away, taking the bag from Fallon's hand and suggesting we recreate the honeymoon displaying my find.

"Oh... no." Fallon eyes the brown bottle skeptically.

"Oh, yeah." I grin.

🕮🕮🕮

I love how fascinated Fallon looks, watching my body move. I look back as I ride him slow and steady just the way he likes. Lifting my ass up and down in fluid motions.

Fallon's eyes narrow. Sitting up and trailing his finger on the small scar on the left side of my back.

"I forgot about this," he says while caressing my hips.

I frown. Now isn't the time to think about that. Actually, there's never a time to think about that.

I look ahead to the bedroom door, propping myself up on the balls of my feet and pushing my hips down. Fallon curses under his breath, thrusting up into me as he digs his nails into my hips and slams me down against him.

I call out, feeling a numbing pressure in the pit of my stomach and knowing the liquor is setting in. Fallon wraps his arms around my waist and the front of my shoulders, ordering I keep this position pounding into me until I am wailing his name.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck!" Fallon growls, my face pressed into the bed while I desperately rip at the sheets.

"Oh my god!" I plead, every expletive making me gush.

I crave this man. I love the sound our bodies make together and, despite the sore throbbing at my center, I beg him not to stop.

Fallon slaps my ass and rams into me with abandon, the jolt causing me to cry out. I loved it but the slight pained reaction breaks Fallon from his haze, cursing under his breath as he sends my body falling forward.

I laugh a bit, catching my breath as I roll onto my back stretching out my body.

"I'm sorry!" he says, with glassy-eyed panic.

"It's okay," I giggle, opening my legs and inviting him back into me.

Fallon shakes his head. Softly caressing my hips, he kisses my lower abdomen. His kisses feel apologetic; Fallon trailing tongue kisses from my belly down to my thighs.

"It's okay," I assure him, playing in his hair as Fallon's kisses lead down to my vulva.

"I don't like hurting you," he tells me, his warm tongue soothing my throbbing center.

Well, I'm into it so get over it.

"You didn't," I lie, my mind going blank as Fallon delivers warm gentle licks until I cum.

Fallon hesitantly pulls me close and I wonder if he is apprehensive with all his lovers or am I the only one he considers made of glass.

"I'm not sixteen anymore, you know," I remind him, turning on my side and arching my back so we can lay together like we used to.

"I know." Fallon kisses my shoulder, gently caressing my body.

I kiss him, rocking my hips back and forth to call the beast back to surface.

"Rue," Fallon warns me, a focused look in his eye as he grips my breast.

Just let go.

"It's fine, I want you to." I bit my lip the way he loves.

Fallon grabs my face and kisses me passionately. "But I don't want to." He pulls away, heading to the bathroom for what I'm guessing is a cold shower.