I missed Fallon. I fought the urge to call him. I wanted to tell him I hated him and I wished we never met, but I also missed his voice. When I wasn't crying about it, I was pissed. I trusted him. I cared about him, and he made me believe he cared about me, only to break my heart.

Over a month later, I grew numb. I was just going through the motions as I entered my junior year of highschool.

No one cared about the Aleena scandal anymore and, the first week of school, Coach Foster announced I would be the new captain of the basketball team. I didn't care though and I didn't want to celebrate.

"Oh come on, Rue, you're captain!" my teammate Mika cheered as she shook my shoulders.

"And I'll be captain until we graduate," I mumbled, in no mood for a pizza party.

I looked to Brielle impatiently. My best friend led me into a cheery ambush after school and I was less than amused.

Bree winced. "Come on, Rue, you didn't come out with us Friday - it's just a slice. Celebrate junior year," she said with a hopeful smile.

There was nothing to celebrate. My world felt like an angry sea of grey and I would much rather go for a run.

I hugged and kissed Brielle goodbye before I told the team I would see them at practice, and went home to change for a run. When I got back, I took a shower, did my homework, and had a quiet dinner with my family before getting ready for bed.

I planked onto the mattress, checking my phone purely out of habit. I scrolled down a few social media alerts and texts from Brielle, Emily and DON'T ANSWER.

I don't know why I didn't block Fallon's phone number. I blocked him on all social media after I noticed he was tagged in a photo with his new college buddies, having fun with a few girls I didn't know. It hurt. I stared at the photo, wondering which one would be my replacement until I couldn't take it anymore and blocked him.

I held my breath as I opened the texts to see four consecutive messages.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Hey, Kid. I just saw Brie. She says you've been down lately. Is it because of me? 4:07 PM

You don't have to answer that. I know if you wanted to talk to me you would have by now. I'm not trying to bother you, I just wanted to congratulate you on making captain. I know it was important to you. 4:07 PM

Okay, fuck it. I want to bother you, Rue baby, I miss you, please talk to me. 4:08 PM

Alright, fine. I get it. I'm sorry I hurt you, Kid. I hope you feel better soon. 4:12 PM

Hot air escaped my lungs as I read the words repeatedly, my mind translating Fallon's words to:

Your best friend is a traitor who told me you're still not over me. 4:07 PM

You don't have to deny it, I know you will never get over me because I took something you can't get back. Oh, congratulations on your little thing. I remember you mentioning it when I pretended to care about the shit you like. 4:07 PM

I really am bored, so I will mess with you. I don't care about you but you're dumb so maybe if I call you baby and tell you I miss you maybe I can get your dumb ass to come suck my dick again. 4:08 PM

Alright, be that way, I'll find someone else. I hope you're happy. 4:12 PM

I threw on my slippers and stormed out my bedroom, down the long hall, past the kitchen, through the foyer and out the front door. I had never felt so mad at Brielle in my entire life as I rushed down six flights and slammed on her front door at nearly ten at night.

Brielle answered the door in a feathery pink nightgown; her hair was braided in two plaits and I remember thinking, why is she so childish?

"Rue, are you okay?" Brielle moved aside to allow me in, probably thinking I was running from Colleen again.

"No, I'm not. Why would you do that?" I yelled at her.

"Do what? What did I do? What's wrong?" Brielle stammered.

"I don't care if you want to be friends with that green-eyed pig, but keep me out of it!" I yelled.

"Oh, no, I saw him at—" she tried to explain.

Brielle had run into Fallon at the Pizzeria a little near his campus. He asked how I had been doing and Brielle told him he was dick, answering the question after Fallon admitted he was but assuring my friend he truly loved and missed me.

At the time, I didn't want to hear it, taking all my frustration out on my friend.

"I don't care! You don't get it. This isn't one of your stupid dramas, Brielle. There is no happy ending here, there's no such thing as meant to be, there are no soul mates or Prince Charming, just guys who like to pretend because they know there are girls like you who will do the most for love because you never had a fucking daddy. You're almost seventeen, so grow the fuck up and don't talk about me with your stupid friend!" I gave her a shove before turning to leave.

Brielle and I didn't speak for a while after that. Even after Fallon and I made up, she was still angry about what I said, and I understood.

We all had our buttons, and I pushed hers. It would take weeks until we made up and she slapped me across the face and kissed my red cheek before we did. We went for ice cream after.

By that Friday, it felt like there was a thousand-ton boulder on my chest. It felt like I couldn't breathe when I wasn't running, always racing home after school to hit the track.

That day I decided to skip the track and race down to Battery Park but, as my feet hit the pavement, I found myself running to Fallon. I went by his job and he wasn't there. His coworkers at the sneaker shop smiled and told me Fallon didn't work on Friday's anymore and so I raced to his house.

I wanted to give Fallon a piece of my mind. Why did he think he could still talk to my friends? Where did he get off sending me that message?

I sped past blank faces on busy New York streets, my anger driving me to pick up speed, making the thirty-five-minute walk in under fifteen.

My hand hovered over Fallon's front door, catching my breath as I tried to work up the nerve to knock. All that fuss and once I reached his destination I was terrified. What if he wasn't there? What if he was and had friends over? What if he had a girl over?

I didn't want to look more stupid than I already had, silently screaming at the door before I turned to head back down the stairs. The elevator opened as I walked past, my breath hitching at the sound of my name.

The sound of his voice.

I took a deep breath as my whole body buzzed with the urge to run, and I slowly turned to see Fallon stepping out. He had cut his hair high and tight, perfectly framing his beautiful face. Fallon wore a black and white classic teddy jacket, ripped jeans, and animal print sneakers with his school bag thrown over his shoulder.

I squinted at him, annoyed because he looked like something out of a movie and there I was in a powder pink running suit.

Fallon tilted his head, looking at me as if he was confused by my presence. Looking at him made me instantly regret my decision to go there. I wasn't mad at him. I wanted to be, but I wasn't. I was hurt and looking at him made my heart feel like it was breaking.

"Why did you do this to me?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

The weight on my chest felt unbearable.The urge to cry way too strong. I needed to go. To be as far away from him as possible. I took a step back, and Fallon's eyes flashed with recognition, knowing I was about to run.

Fallon dropped his bag, swiftly closing the distance between us and taking me into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he declared, grabbing my face and forcing me to look into his eyes. "I love you so much, Rue." His voice was heavy and pained as he pulled me into a kiss and, just like that, the weight had been lifted.

Fallon kissed me and I could finally breathe again, but I wasn't relieved. Angry and confused by my emotions towards him, I started to cry. I knitted my fingers into the fabric of his shirt and sobbed into Fallon's chest as he held me close.

Fallon and I sat quietly on his bed with enough space between us to fit another person. His room had been moved around. His headboard now blocked the window giving the room a dark imposing shadow.

"Why did you change your room?" I mumbled, looking ahead to the closet at the opposite side of the bedroom.

"I don't know... I wanted something different," he replied.

I pressed my lips together. We both knew I didn't come there to discuss interior decorating, but my real question felt lodged in my throat. I swallowed hard, toying with my fingers as I questioned why he lied to me.

"I didn't. I told you everything," Fallon claimed.

"You didn't tell me about the book. You didn't tell me you were friends with Kellen or Wren..."

"What would you have said if I did?" Fallon asked.

I didn't know, but none of it felt important at that moment. I came to yell at him but, now that I was there, all I wanted was to hold Fallon's hand.

I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, inching my fingers across the mattress and allowing our hands to intertwine. "I loved you," I confessed.

"Are you saying you don't now?" Fallon mumbled, giving me a light squeeze.

I opened my mouth but the words refused to form. Despite how hurt I felt, I loved him. I knew if he was honest with me, it wouldn't have changed how I felt because even before we kissed I was way too far gone.

"I don't know you," I said, my heart aching as I slipped away.

"What do you want to know?" Fallon asked, grabbing my hand and moving closer.

"What?" I asked, unable to think when he was so close to me.

"What do you want to know? I love you, and I want you to love me too, so if that means telling you everything down to my childhood fear of marshmallows, then I'm good with it. So what do you want to know?" Fallon asked while kissing my hand

It made me feel funny. Bad butterflies in the pit of my stomach reacted to his voice and touch, but I knew I couldn't trust him. The fact is, I wouldn't truly trust him ever again.

"I don't believe you," I admitted, trying to push away the fuzzy feeling.

"About the marshmallows or about being honest, because you know I love you." He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, alarmed by the warming sensation that ripped through me. "I love you and I swear, I'll never lie to you again." He kissed my cheek again, placing his hand on my waist and pulling me close.

Fallon cautiously trailed kisses down to my mouth. I felt hesitant at first but I began to kiss him back, feeling small masochistic bursts throughout my body as our kisses deepened.

"I know I messed up, and you don't forgive me. Just... tell me you still love me," he begged, resting his head on mine.

"I'll always love you," I admitted.

"Then stay with me, Rue. I promise I'll make you happy."

Present: September 12, 2027 3:17 AM

I can't sleep, unable to get that kiss out of my mind. When Fallon pulled away from me in the park, it felt like swallowing glass to keep myself from telling him I loved him.

I smiled awkwardly, declaring I had to be up early in the morning before racing away towards his building. I locked the door as I showered, terrified of what I might do if he joined me. The room filled with steam as I let the hot water run long after I was finished.

This was supposed to be a fling. Meaningless sex to soothe my ego, but it's never been meaningless with this man, has it?

I look over my shoulder to Fallon peacefully resting behind me. He's wearing nothing but sleep pants and everything in me wants to be with him; touch him and make my rendition of love to him, but I can't do that.

I should have never done this. I love my husband. I know we will eventually work through whatever this is and when we do, there won't be any room in my life for Fallon Lynch. The problem is the more time I spend with him the more I don't want to lose him again.

"I can feel you sulking..." Fallon groans, reaching out and pulling me back into bed.

"I'm not sulking," I sulk.

"You are," Fallon sighs, rolling me onto his firm chest.

Fallon opens his mint-caramel eyes and my soul dances. A simple glance and I am enamored by this man. My heart is aching because I know I have to let him go, but for now he is mine and we can pretend I am his.

I kiss him with fire at my lips as I try to consume the man beneath me. I mount his lap and grind my body against his, creating tantalizing friction and in moments he is inside of me. Heavily breathing into each other's mouths, I hold Fallon's face in my hands and he grips my ass.

I sit up, looking over my shoulder to see he's still at a distance. I need him; all of him. I need to feel him one last time. I push my body down but Fallon rolls me onto my back to control the situation.

I kiss him and wrap my body around his, trying to pull him close when he rips away from me and asks what I am doing.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I sit up, annoyed and confused as I wonder why he doesn't want me how he wanted Jade.

"I don't want to do that, Rue," Fallon objects, pulling up his lowered pants and adjusting the string.

"You don't want to do it with me and I don't know why," I argue, kicking on my underwear and jumping to my feet.

I've never taken well to rejection. Especially after Yaran, who created my goddess complex only to send me crashing down to earth.

Fallon said he was drawn to Jade Knight and he didn't know why. I do. She may not be anymore, but before her accident, Jade Knight was an older blue haired version of me. More so without the wig.

When Fallon and I last saw each other, I was curvy yet slender from the stress and medication and his subconscious saw her and thought me. The things he did with her - to her - that she told the entire world in a song, he wanted to do with me. So why isn't he?

"You know why," Fallon winces.

"No, I don't. Fallon, I've been thinking a lot about us—" I confess.

"What us, Rue?" Fallon snaps. "Here, now, this temporary thing that only exists because you're hurting? Or what we were before...?"

"You left me—" I interject.

"What?" Fallon's lip curls into a snarl, his tone as if I said something audacious and disrespectful.

"You left me, but you never said why." I shake my head, forcing a pained smile.

Fallon stares at me for a moment, as if he is unsure where to begin. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have done this. Turning on my heels, I head to the kitchen for a beer.

"Where are you going?" Fallon calls as I leave the room.

"I need a drink," I call back, not bothering to look behind me.

"You left me, Rue," Fallon declares as he follows me down the long dark hall leading to the front of the apartment.

The tone of his voice lets me know he believes it to be true. Fallon says I remember things the way I want, but why would I want to remember being hurt? We never fell out of love. We just ended and I had to bury it down until it didn't hurt any more.

Being here was a terrible idea. There's too much history and too many loose ends. I know Fallon loves me. I can tell by the way he looks at me and the things he says, but the floodgates are opening and I refuse to drown.

I have a life, in Athens, with Gage. While exploring the past I think I forgot some things are better left buried.

"Just go to bed,." I command, making a right towards the kitchen.

"Sure, come with me," he requests, but I can't.

I think I should go. It's a little after three in the morning so the roads are clear. I could head home and pretend none of this happened.

I am stunned by the unseasonably cold marble under my bare feet as I step into the kitchen. I stop for a moment, taking a deep breath and bracing myself for the shock before skipping to the fridge.

Fallon laughs, telling me it's hard to be mad at me while I am so fucking cute. I narrow my eyes at him. In all my memories I think I had forgotten how condescending he can be.

"You have no right to be mad at me." I glare at him.

"I could think of a few valid reasons," Fallon shoots back, crossing his arms and leaning against the far wall.

"Name them," I challenge.

"I'm not doing this with you," Fallon chuckles.

"Doing what?" I almost snarl.

Fallon smiles, pushing off the wall and making his way over. "I don't think you relize just how fucking sexy you are when you're mad," he teases. I've heard that a few times and it's annoying that my body still reacts. I blame Yaran. "You pick fights when all you have to say is you're feeling insecure and really want me to bend you over this kitchen island," Fallon adds.

I take a heavy breath. I hate being babied but I felt that in my core. My body is still wound up from our practice run in the bedroom.

"If there's one thing I hate, it's a man that tries to pacify me with sex," I cautiously say as Fallon stalks closer to me.

"If there's one thing I hate it's your lack of communication skills," he retorts, stopping in front of me and taking my face into his hands. "It's our last night together. I don't want to fight with you, Rue," Fallon says gently and the idea that this will be the last time I feel his touch on my skin makes me anxious. When I'm anxious I get angry.

I pull away. I would rather fight with him now than spend god knows how long trying to forget him later. "Why not? We've been arguing since the day we met, and now — I'm sick of it, Fallon. I'm sick of you treating me like I'm fragile packaging and I don't want to be treated like glass," I tell him.

"So you're throwing a tantrum—?" Fallon begins.

"I don't throw tantrums. I'm not a little girl!" I interject.

"Yes you do. You're a brat, Rue, always have been always will be, and right now you're throwing a tantrum because you want me to fuck you so you can live out the fantasy from some some song," he muses, a dark glow in his eyes telling me he knew saying that would hurt.

"Fuck you." I narrow my eyes, turning to leave when Fallon grabs me by the back of my neck and pins me between himself and the island.

It gets a small rise out of me; my breath hitches as Fallon leans in close and speaks with gritted teeth. "Don't walk away from me," he says with the hint of a threat in his tone.

"Or what?" I challenge, biting down on my bottom lip.