thirty-eight - a difficult time
George makes quick work of travelling to Accident and Emergency despite being in a frenzied state. Once he arrives, he spots his older sister sitting in the waiting room with a very hard-done-to little girl sat on her lap.
"Are you okay sweetheart?" George asks her softly, kneeling down by her side. "What happened?"
"She'll be alright, Gogos. She was playing with her toys at home; she stood up and stepped on a toy car. Well, the wheels rolled her right over. She twisted her ankle pretty badly," Melanie explains. "We've got to wait for X-rays to see what the damage is."
"You silly thing," George teases Tee gently, tapping her nose. "I thought you liked dinosaurs, not cars."
"Well, she certainly won't like toy cars for a while now," Mel chuckles softly. "Honestly George, once your little one is here, you need to keep an eye on them twenty-four-seven. You turn your back for two seconds, and all havoc breaks loose."
"I see ... " George's voice trails off as he concludes the conversation; for the guilt creeps in regarding his plans for his future. "Well, I've still got about seven months before that happens."
"Do we have a Miss Melanie Panayiotou in here?" a nurse suddenly calls out. "Miss Melanie Panayiotou?"
"Here," Mel calls out, to draw attention to herself; she carefully slides Tee over to George, who takes the little girl into his arms as cautiously as he can. He stands up from his kneeling position, carrying Tee as he follows Melanie over to the nurse. "What's the damage?"
"She's torn the ligaments in her ankle — quite a nasty shock for such a tiny little lady," the nurse informs her. "And it won't be a fun healing process for her, because toddlers are very hyperactive souls aren't they?"
"This one certainly is," Mel jibes lightheartedly. "Do I have to do anything to help it heal?"
"Typically, it will heal by itself. Luckily, Christina's tear isn't too serious. It'll be painful of course, but not severe fortunately." The nurse gives the child a mellow smile. "Just let her rest for a couple of weeks, and see how she goes. If she's still in a lot of pain, then come back and see us — but, it shouldn't have to come to that, with how minor it is."
"Is there anything we can do for her, to ease the pain for now?" George chimes in, before planting a small kiss on the girl's temple. "I'd hate for her to suffer like this for the next fortnight."
"All I can suggest is a cold compress or an ice pack," the nurse instructs. "It should do the trick."
"Of course," Melanie responds. "Thank you for your help. We'll get her home and rested now."
With the conversation concluded, the three of them head towards the doors to exit the building; Mel turns to George to reclaim her daughter, but when Tee protests against leaving George's arms, Melanie recoils in amusement.
"Guess she wants me," George gloats playfully. "Do you sense the favouritism, Mel?"
"I certainly do," she cackles. "What a little madam she is. First she brings us both out to A&E, then she picks and chooses who gets to give her cuddles. Even the notion."
"Ah, come on sis. It's only because she barely gets to see Uncle Yoggie." George looks down at his beloved niece, grinning at her. "Did you miss Uncle Yoggie, Tee?"
Tee nods once, in an over-exaggerated manner — the typical way for a young child to respond, even with fatigue evident in her little eyes. The interaction brings a smile to Melanie's face. "You were made to be a father, weren't you, Gogos?"
"I suppose I was." He cradles Tee slightly as they walk through the carpark, which calms her enough to cause her to doze off into a light slumber. "But it's not as if I'd have a choice if I believed otherwise."
"This is true," Melanie laughs. "You'll ace it, you know. You're a natural. Kids love you. I know mine does."
"And I love her. With all my heart," George gushes quietly, as not to wake the child; the subject of love brings Levi to his mind, and for a moment he contemplates. It's a bold and daring move; and an entirely impulsive decision, but he evaluates that it will pay off later on for him despite his current apprehension. "Hey, Mel? Can I tell you something important?"
"Of course." She offers him an inviting smile, as they arrive at her car. She unlocks it, allowing George to shuffle Tee into her booster seat in the vehicle so he can talk hands-free. "You know you can talk to me about anything. You're my baby brother."
"I feel a bit sick now," George snickers; he realises this is only a result of nerves. "But, um, you're the first and only family member I'll have trusted to say this to ... as of yet."
"You're not having second thoughts about having a baby are you?" Melanie questions quickly. "Because you'd need to tell Stephanie if—"
"No, Mel. It's nothing to do with my baby." His eyes dart to the floor, as fear eats at his chest. "I need you to not say anything until I'm done talking. Just hear me out, because I already feel shit about this."
"George, you've not cheated on Stephanie have you—?"
"Can you please just let me talk?" George interrupts, feeling the stress building up within him; tensing his body. "This isn't easy for me to tell you. Just stop talking for a minute so I can get a word in edgeways."
Melanie folds her arms firmly, an expression of uncertain disapproval evident. "Go on then."
"Yes," he breathes, not even being given the chance to utter another word before he is interrupted yet again.
Melanie gasps. "Really, George?"
"Let me explain—"
"Why would you cheat on?—"
"It was with a man, Melanie. With a fucking man!" he blurts, giving up on the idea of being allowed the right to explain his side of the situation.
"A man?" Melanie is bewildered by this information. "Like, a male, boy, man?"
"Yes, Mel! A man with a dick and all the lovely shit that comes with it." By now, shame has started to take over the poor soul; he buries his head into one hand in embarrassment, heaving a sigh. "If you'd have just let me explain without mouthing off every five seconds, I wanted to tell you that this is your baby brother very-anxiously coming out to you as gay. But now I'm thinking I just shouldn't have bothered putting my trust in you."
For a moment, Melanie is speechless at the revelation. "I-I mean—"
"Go on. Get it over with," George continues. "Tell me how much of a disappointment I am to the family. Not only have I cheated on a woman who really loves me; but also, what I've done will hurt my unborn baby and I'm gay too. I need to get my shit together; you're disowning me; and I should never show my face around here again. Hey, maybe I don't deserve any happiness I receive; and maybe I should just disappear off the face of the planet for good measure."
"Are you going to give me the chance to speak at any point?" Melanie snipes back. "I don't think you should be proud of cheating on Stephanie — not by a long shot." She shakes her head, letting her guard down; as her demeanour softens. "But I am proud of you for being brave enough to tell me the truth, and you should be too. It can't have been easy."
"You can't tell anyone. Not even Yioda. Not Martin; or Mum or Dad. Don't let it come from your lips. Andrew is the only other person who knows the truth, other than ... him."
"So who's this mystery man, then?" She leans her body against the car, as the conversation continues. "Do I know him?"
"Do you remember when I got attacked, not too long ago, in Reading?"
"Yeah; you and your friend got—oh." She expels an awkward chuckle. "I'm guessing your friend ... was more than a friend."
"It was a homophobic attack, Mel." George frowns at this, knowing he must relive the fateful evening again for the sake of telling the tale. "But because I'm not out to everyone, I couldn't exactly tell the police that it was because of that. But the kids that did it, well ... they did it because they saw Levi and I sat on a bench together."
"Fucking hell, Gogos." Melanie looks remorseful by now; despite knowing her brother's infidelity is wrong morally, she can't help but feel sorry for him. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"I'm trying to block it out really," he insists dismissively. "It's not something I like to dwell on, I suppose. But it taught me that I really am willing to fight for him. It feels right with him, you know. My Levi. I love him, Mel. And I've never said that to Stephanie before and truly meant it; but I could look you dead in the eyes right now and mean it from the bottom of my heart ... " His eyes move up confidently to his sister's, as he speaks, "I love that man. I love him more than anything."
Melanie takes a few seconds to observe her younger brother; she sees the vulnerability, yet the authenticity his pupils hold within them. With just this look, she becomes painfully aware of just how much he's been through; how much he has had to keep hidden from the world for his own safety. She raises her arm, using her fingers to delicately ruffle his cedar brown locks of hair; an attempt at softening his rigidity, brought on by nerves. All she can offer him is the subtle upturning of the corners of her mouth; a small, comforting gesture to reassure him that he isn't in this alone.
"You've had a difficult time, haven't you, George?"
His initial silence is an answer all in itself; that is, until the flecks of orange in his irises glisten, from the tears that glaze over them. "The worst." The delicate vibration of his broken voice brings the droplets tumbling down his face. "But he's made me want to live again."
Melanie has the strong desire to question what he means by this last utterance; but instead, she brings him into her embrace swiftly. George takes the hug with no hesitation; he presses his chin to his sister's shoulder, staring into the distance dejectedly as he soaks up the warmth of another accepting individual. At the knowledge that she still respects him, he shudders a little; one more person told is one less person who could potentially react negatively.
"I love you, Gogos. Please always remember that," she reminds him softly. "I know we've had our ups and downs, but we're siblings. It happens. But no matter who you fall for, it won't stop me from caring. And I know that Mum, Dad, and Yioda will be just the same."
"You have to promise that you'll let me tell them in my own time," George sniffles, attempting to regain his composure. "Please promise me."
"I promise," she vows. "But what about Stephanie?"
"In time," he dismisses quickly. "I need to be ready."
She nods, understanding it must be hard for him to navigate his way through finding out who he is. "Alright. I suppose I should get home so Tee can get to bed. Thank you for coming over to see her. I really appreciate it."
"It's no problem." He opens the car door, before leaning down to give Tee's forehead a kiss. "See you soon, sweetheart. Uncle Yoggie loves you so much." Carefully, he shuts the door once again, before stepping away from the vehicle. "See you on Christmas Day, Mel."
"See you then." Melanie gives a wave, before getting into the driver's side; she starts the engine, reversing out of the parking space she's in. As she drives off, she turns her head to see her brother; and she blows a kiss to him, which he returns.
With a quiet exhalation to signify a vast mix of emotions, George rotates on his heels to head back to his own car; he pulls his keys out from his jacket pocket, trudging slowly to the driver door to unlock the vehicle. As he ducks his head down to fit inside, an overwhelming sensation of relief invades his entire body from the fact he has divulged his secret to somebody else at last. Not only that: he also finds himself experiencing an unfamiliar feeling — that of proudness for himself.
And it's a wonderful, liberating feeling.
• • •
Yay, he told somebody else! Hope you're still enjoying the story. xx
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