For a minute or two, George is left utterly speechless, his mouth agape. No words nor thoughts can coherently form in his mind to give a suitable response to the news he has just been presented with. His eyes move down to the polar bear in his hands, slowly gliding over the words, 'Best daddy ever' over and over again; not even this action can bring him back to reality. He finally shuts his mouth, exhaling nervously out his nostrils as his way of sighing. With a swallow, he brings his gaze back up to the excitable woman before him; in anticipation of his reaction, she has softened her demeanour since she last spoke.

"Are you going to say something?" she asks quietly, with a hopeful smile, tinged with the tiniest amount of anxiety. "You're making me nervous."

George's genuine initial response is fear; for he knows that once he has a child tied to Stephanie, it'll be difficult for him to leave the relationship when he's ready to. Despite this enormous apprehension, he musters a smile back, bringing her into a hug. "It's ... brilliant news."

"You're excited?" she questions, her voice indicating she's slightly flustered.

"Of course I am." He lets out a nervous chuckle, letting his lips press to the top of her head in a firm kiss. "It's just a shock, that's all. I didn't expect to be a father by twenty-four."

"He or she will be due just after your next birthday," she informs him, withdrawing from the hug so she can look at him. "Realistically, based on the last time we did anything together, I'll be due around late July next year."

"So you're only a few weeks gone so far, then?" George tries his best to appear interested; of course, he has many questions, but he wants to remain reserved about everything. "So like, October was when we conceived?"

"We'll need to go for an appointment soon so that the midwife can check that — but I haven't had my period for a few weeks either, so it would make sense."

"You didn't think to check earlier?" George raises a single eyebrow in confusion. "Surely you could feel something off?"

"I've never been pregnant before, silly." She gives a gentle grin. "I felt a bit icky, but I assumed it was my period coming soon. This was a shock to me, too, babe."

"So ... what made you decide to test then? How long have you known about this?"

"I tested yesterday evening," she explains. "I'd been feeling really sick, and that's a classic sign. I didn't want to mention anything so I could surprise you today."

"Well, the surprise definitely worked," he teases, holding his hand to his chest to suggest his shock. "I don't think I'm ever getting over this one."

"But you're happy?" Her eyes give away joy, only held back by her need for George's approval.

The bittersweetness of such a huge life change is enough to bring tears to George's eyes; his first time showing true emotion to Stephanie in a long time. As he attempts to hold back from crying, he forces a smile — to play the behaviour off entirely as excitement. "Of course," he chokes out.

"Come here." She opens her arms, inviting him in for another hug; he accepts this with little-to-no hesitation, falling into her embrace. "You're going to be the best daddy ever. The polar bear doesn't lie."

•••

With jittering fingers, and sweating palms, George alights the train at Goring and Streatley station. It's been two days since he found out he's going to be a father, and he has decided that it's time to tell Levi the news. He trusts Levi with his entire being; but, despite this, he can't quite contain the level of terror he feels at having to confess what has happened. As he exits the station, he sees the familiar car parked in its usual spot outside; only a few moments later, Levi gets out the vehicle to greet his lover. With a shaky breath, George slowly makes his way over to him, telling himself that everything will work out in the end.

"Hey, you." Levi greets George with the usual embrace, along with a kiss to his chiselled cheek. "How are you doing today?"

"Uh ... " Already, George's vocal chords are trembling. "We need to talk."

Levi detects the seriousness in George's voice and body language, so he immediately opens the door to the passenger seat to let him in the car. "Sounds like you better get in."

George nods, ducking down into the seat; Levi closes the door, before walking around to the driver side to enter the vehicle himself. George's fingers drum against the dashboard in front of him; his desperate attempt to buy himself a few seconds more before confessing. "This is ... good and bad."

"Good and bad?" Levi's curiosity starts to get the better of him. "What's good and bad?"

"Stephanie ... " he murmurs vaguely, bracing himself to continue. "She went out a couple of days ago with her mates. Christmas shopping. She brought home a bag for me."

"Well, that's nice isn't it?" Levi asks uncertainly. "Being thoughtful is nice."

"The bag had a cuddly white bear in it," George explains. "With a jumper on. And the jumper had writing on it."

"What did it say? 'Will you marry me?' or something?" Levi jokes; he tones down his humour when he realises the mood doesn't allow for it. "Well go on — what did it say?"

"It said 'Best daddy ever'." By now, George cannot look Levi in the eyes; he whips his head down to his own lap, staring blankly at the acid-washed denim that flatteringly hugs his legs. "She's pregnant. I'm going to be a dad to a family I didn't actually want." Without even looking at Levi, George can sense the shock in his facial expression at what he has heard. George shakes his head subtly, closing his eyes to rid the slight lightheadedness that has suddenly come over him. "Please say something. Anything."

"Fuck." The shortness of Levi's reaction causes George's head to shoot back up to look at him. "Sorry. I didn't really think that through. But ... shit, George."

"Can you give me a response other than cursing?" George prompts, agitated. "Swearing isn't the most helpful thing right now."

"What do you want me to say?" Levi presses. "Congratulations, daddy?"

"This isn't funny," George huffs. "I've been worried shitless about telling you about this, and all you can do is crack jokes."

"This isn't a joke to me," Levi asserts. "Far from it, in fact. The idea of my boyfriend having a family aside from me doesn't exactly bring me joy."

"Boyfriend?" George repeats, more for his own interpretational benefit than Levi's. "That's a bold title to give me, considering we aren't a serious thing."

"Well, what am I to you, then?" Levi furrows his brows, a little hurt by George's dismissal. "Just a plaything? An object for you to give affection to when you don't fancy being straight? Or just an escape for when the dad life isn't fun anymore?"

"Hey — I didn't ask for any of this," George retorts firmly. "You think I wanted to get her pregnant when I'm planning to leave her?" He shakes his head in disapproval of Levi's attitude. "You're talking as if I didn't risk everything just to be with you. You're not just a plaything and you know that. And you certainly know I could never "be straight". It hurts that you'd say that."

Levi surrenders his frustration, expelling a breath through his nostrils to calm himself down. "I'm sorry," he apologises. "I said it out of anger. I just don't know how you expect me to react to this. It's just a shock."

"It isn't just a shock for you — trust me on that one." George shrugs, resting his head in one hand. "Imagine what it was like for me, having to pretend I was overjoyed at the news."

"It must have been hard to do that convincingly," Levi praises gently. "I'll give you that. But it doesn't take away from the fact that, even when you break up, you'll still be involved with her now. You'll have a child together."

"I know — and I'm sorry," George frowns. "But if I'd have stopped having sex with her, she'd have gotten suspicious. Before I met you, it used to be at least a few times a week. Now, it's maybe once or twice because I have you."

"Please spare me the details though," Levi jibes, still a little shaken by everything. "I don't need to know the ins and outs — literally."

George finds mild humour in Levi's comment. "Don't worry — I'll stop there. I just need to know that this ... doesn't change anything between us, does it?"

"Well, there's not a lot I can do about it, is there?" Levi evaluates. "If I want to stay with you, I'll have to accept the dad life. Although, it may scupper our plans for you moving here once you break up with her."

"Can a father not live a small distance from his child?" George asks rhetorically. "I'll let Stephanie have custody, and I'll just go and visit. She's wanted this longer than I have."

"I thought you didn't want kids?"

"Well, I—" George pauses his speech a moment, to think about how he's going to word what he says next. "I didn't, for a long time. And I mean, even now I'm reluctant about it because I'm so young, but ... I have changed my mind recently."

"You're never going to leave her, are you?" Levi presses his head to the steering wheel before him. "You wanted this family. You were just too scared to tell me that."

"I never wanted a fucking family with her!" George blurts aggressively, realising what he's said, too late. He quickly composes himself, averting his eyes to his lover. "I ... I wanted it with you, Levi."

"With me?" He almost sounds as though he doesn't quite believe it. "Why would you want a family with someone you don't even consider as a boyfriend?"

"Don't you realise how difficult this is for me?" George pleads. "Trying to live two lives in a way that makes everyone happy is so hard, Levi. I know it's wrong, what I'm doing, but nobody stops to think about how difficult it is to be in my shoes — not even for a single minute. It's easy for you to waltz around proclaiming your love for me without fear, but not everyone can relate to that."

"Excuse me?" Levi scowls at George, irate. "How can you say that, when proclaiming my love for you ended up with us both in hospital? There's certainly fear for me to be myself, George. Don't you dare try and take that misery and suffering from me."

"I didn't mean it like that," George defends. "You knew exactly what I meant. I can't just talk about you to my friends and family as if we're married. To everyone but Andrew, you're just a friend. You don't have to hide me from your family like I have to hide you from mine."

"Maybe you need to work on the way you word things." Levi turns his head to look out the window; his way of avoiding eye contact with George for a moment. "Talk excessively if you have to. I'd rather you be passionate than insensitive."

"Well forgive me for not having the Oxford English Dictionary to hand for every interaction we have." George slowly backs down in defeat, knowing that the unrest between them may take some work to resolve. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Maybe I should just go home now."

"You've only just arrived," Levi argues. "What's the point in buying a train ticket if you're going to spend more time travelling than you spend in the actual destination?"

"You just seem to have an answer for everything I say," George explains blankly, becoming bored with the tension by now. "I get this shit enough with Steph. I've got even more to come with her pregnancy hormones fucking her up."

"There's a difference between a childish young woman bitching at you, and a man who just wants to have a serious conversation with the person he cares about," Levi snaps back, with little emphasis. "I'll let you decide which one I am."

"You're both as bad as each other," George states. "So, are you going to let me go home now? Or do I have to break the door open?"

"Absolutely not," Levi decides, smirking slightly as he starts the engine to his car. "You're coming with me, and we're going to stop this bickering right now. What's it going to help?"

"That's coming from the man with the answer to everything," George jeers monotonously. "But fine. As long as you take me to get some food. And then I want to go and see Maisie and Meggy."

"Deal. But, Daniel's home today. Are you sure you want to see the dogs while he's there?"

"I have to meet him at some point," George reminds him. "May as well make it sooner rather than later."

"He's not that exciting, you know," Levi warns him. "Just some middle-aged guy with no hair and the hots for my mum."

"But is he nice? That's the main thing, isn't it?"

"For now. But I still have my reservations about him." Levi pulls out from the space he's parked in, before driving towards the centre of Goring. "Just because he starts off nice — doesn't mean he'll end up nice."

"You never know. He might surprise you."

"If he surprises me, I'll propose to mum for him," Levi scoffs. "But I don't see it happening. That's why I need to be around as much as I can, to stop him if anything goes wrong."

"I suppose." George sits back in his seat, as they gradually move closer to Levi's home in the car.

Levi senses George's melancholy demeanour, so he uses his free hand to reach across to George's knee, rubbing gently. "We will make everything work. I promise. You believe me, don't you?"

"I just know you're offended that I've never referred to you as my boyfriend," George elaborates. "But it's just hard for me ... the fact I'm cheating with you, and the fact I've never had a boyfriend before. As proud as I am, it also makes me anxious."

"I understand. All the nasty comments were just me taking out my shock on you. The shock from finding out about Stephanie being pregnant." An expression of shame falls across Levi's face. "And that was out of order; and I'm sorry."

"It's fine," George dismisses quietly. "We've both had a shit time of it lately. But we can face all of it together."

"Right," Levi agrees. "Like I've said before — it isn't me against you; it's us against the problems. And we can get through it as a team ... every single time."

Feeling some relief that their conflict has been alleviated, the pair exchange smiles, as they finally arrive into the village centre.

•••

Chapter thirty-five! Thought it was about time George and Levi had a little bit of friction. Hope you enjoyed! xx