Note: this chapter contains mention of grief, death and loss.

• • •

Dear diary,

Today is December 27th, 2027. We wanted to write this entry in as similar a style to the other entries as possible, because we feel it's only fitting. Our father gave us this diary so that we could look back on all the important parts of his life — from when he was younger, to now. Reading over his turmoils and joys over the course of more than four decades has really been something for us to experience.

We all agreed that it was the best course of action to write a final entry into this special book, in honour of our wonderful father, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou-Jones. He dedicated so much time to writing in here, so it feels like closure to conclude his many adventures with one final piece. You may be questioning why we'd write a "final" entry in here, when there are still pages left.

In the early hours on Christmas Day, our beloved father passed away peacefully in our home. He was sixty-four-and-a-half years of age, to the date.

It was a sudden but quiet occurrence, and one we doubt we'll ever get our heads around. One minute he was here, and the next he was not. It's almost as if he knew his time was up, and that's why he gave us his most valuable, sentimental possession. Dad is devastated, and so are our Aunties, Yioda and Melanie. And of course, 'Uncle' Andrew, 'Auntie' Nancy and 'Auntie' Steph are beside themselves. It's something that has shaken all of us to the core.

There are, of course, a few things which give us some solace in this extremely difficult time. First of all, Dad is now with his parents. He missed them so much since they passed away. Now, they are reunited at last. Second of all, he reassured us time and time again that he's had a good, happy and fulfilling life. Of course, there's been twists and turns. Life's path never runs straight. But he made it explicitly clear, that he had no regrets in his life before he left us, aside from not knowing Birdie. It gives us immense comfort, among the absolute agony of all of this.

As a family, we all had some truly fantastic times together. All the day trips and the weekends away to different places ... the laughter and the tears we shared ... the birthdays and Christmases and everything in between ... we are truly blessed in that sense. We cannot say we regretted anything about the parents we were fortunate enough to be born to. We have many memories from the time that Dad was here for.

But that's what we must keep with us and treasure, now. The memories.

Thank you for serving our father so well throughout his life, dear diary. Thank you for providing us with one final piece of our father in such a raw and authentic way. There is nothing more precious than memories, thoughts and feelings.

We love you always, Daddy. Until we meet you again, we will carry you in our hearts.

A heartbroken Gem, Kieran, and Birdie xxx

• • •

"What a lazy bones," Levi laughs, glancing at his dear husband, who is lost in a peaceful slumber in bed by his side. "Well, I'm going to go and wake the kids up. It's Christmas Day. They may be in their early twenties now, but that doesn't stop them from getting excited. Well — only because Kieran knows exactly what he's getting for his main gift." He shimmies out of bed, leaning across the mattress to rest a gentle kiss upon George's head. "I'll come back in, in a moment. Enjoy the extra five minutes' sleep, won't you?" With a chuckle, he exits the bedroom.

As he approaches Gemma's room, he knocks once to alert her that he's there. "Gem? You awake?"

"Yeah, Dad. You can come in," she responds, with a slightly hushed tone to avoid waking anybody else in the house. As she watches her father enter the room, she smiles. "Happy Christmas, old man."

"Hey! Less of the old," Levi snickers, playfully slapping his daughter's arm. "Otherwise I'll take back all the gifts Santa brought for you."

"The same Santa who likes piss-weak tea and soggy biscuits?" Gemma retorts. "If so, then tell Santa I love him."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Levi shakes his head in amusement, before turning his head to gesture at the door. "Shall we go and wake Kieran up?"

"He's probably still asleep," Gemma answers. "He's a guy. They're all lazy."

"Your father's in the same boat this morning," Levi states. "Didn't even wake up when I spoke to him. Ignorant, is what he is, hey?"

Gemma laughs. "Let the man rest, I guess. He does a lot for us."

"This is also true. I guess I'll cut him some slack," Levi decides. "Anyway ... shall we give Kieran a rude awakening?"

"Sounds perfect to me." Gemma rises from her seated position on her bed, following Levi towards Kieran's room. "Wait — let me connect my phone to his Bluetooth speaker. I'll play some loud music."

"Your evilness never fails to impress me," Levi compliments sarcastically. "I aspire to be like you when I'm older."

"Well, you're running out of time for that one," Gemma remarks. "You're almost at retirement age."

"I still have Santa's number you know," Levi teases. "Have you connected to that speaker yet?"

"Done," Gemma announces, searching her phone for the most deafening music she can think of. "How about a Michael Jackson song? I know he's your favourite."

"You know how to appease me, don't you, darling?" Levi leans his back against the wall in the landing, waiting for Gemma to select a song to play. "Make it a loud one. Start Christmas with a bang."

"How about Another Part of Me?" she suggests. "The intro to that always used to jumpscare me as a kid."

"A solid choice," Levi praises. "Looks like I raised you right."

Gemma smirks, turning the volume on her phone all the way up, then she presses play on the song. The pair peer through the small gap in Kieran's bedroom door as the song starts abruptly; as expected, the poor young man is startled, and leaps up in surprise.

"What the fuck!" he yells, his head flitting from one direction to another, until his eyes land on the door. "Seriously Gem? Grow up."

"It wasn't just her idea, son," Levi cackles. "I was just as much to blame as she was."

"Gee, thanks, Dad." Kieran stretches out his arms, letting out a groan in satisfaction once his joints start to feel more relaxed; then, he rubs his eyes to rid the residue from the corners. "Oh shit. It's Christmas Day. I finally get my—"

"Hold on a minute," Levi interrupts. "We need to make sure your father's awake first. He hasn't stirred from the loud music, it seems. He must be going deaf in his old age."

"I guess we'll all go in and wake him up, then," Gemma suggests. "Otherwise you best believe he can be antisocial while we all celebrate without him. I love him, but I want my gifts. And I want to watch you all open yours."

"Alright," Levi gives in. "We'll all go and wake him."

The three of them exit Kieran's room, instead heading back to George and Levi's shared bedroom. They all creep in, with the intention to scare him awake like they did with Kieran. Levi moves in the closest to George; the offspring hang back, just on the off-chance that their dad reacts adversely to being frightened awake suddenly.

Levi turns his head to his two kids, whispering to them. "On three, we'll all shout "Wake up", alright?" The nods of approval encourage him to count up. "One. Two. Three."

"Wake up!" the three of them yell in unison.

Gemma erupts into laughter due to the inability to handle her glee. However, the laughter subsides when even this level of noise doesn't wake her father up. "Why isn't he waking up, Dad?"

Levi furrows his brows, as panic sets in. He moves the blanket away from George's body, moving his lover onto his back from his previous sideways-laying position. He checks to see whether George is breathing; alas, there is no rising or falling of his chest with the breaths he should be taking. Tears threaten his eyes as he presses his ear to George's chest, listening for any signs of a heartbeat; alas, there is no rhythmic thudding from within his rib cage. Shock temporarily invades his entire body at the realisation of what's happening; alas, soon, this agonising numbness fades, and is replaced with devastation.

"No!" he shrieks, the single word prolonged enough to make his voice give out.

"Dad, please don't say it," Gemma pleads, tears already rolling down her cheeks. "Don't you dare say it." Her bottom lip quivers excessively; as if one wrong word could cause her to break in an instant.

Levi grabs George's hands, keeping a firm grip on them; he turns his head to his children, which is when they see his face is already red from the mental strain. He need not say anything; for his actions speak every word he cannot bring himself to utter.

"No ... " Kieran mutters, almost emotionless. "This is some fucked-up joke ... "

Levi brings his lower lip into his mouth, to try and suppress the outburst he's desperate to have; in answer to Kieran's statement, all he can do is shake his head.

"Oh my god," Gemma speaks, the syllables coming out of her mouth as sobs. She makes a beeline for the bed, kneeling down by Levi's side to get a closer look at her lifeless father. "Daddy?"

Kieran follows suit, moving to the opposite side of the bed so he can see everyone. His attention falls on Levi. "Dad ... please say this isn't happening. Please, Dad."

Finally, Levi speaks. "I-I ... I can't, son. I wish I could. But I can't."

In an instant, Gemma cracks. "No!" she screams, tears tumbling down her face quicker, and more rapidly, than they've ever done so before. She brings her hand desperately to George's face, resting it to his cheek. "He's so cold already!" she cries. "I-I can't believe this is real."

Kieran watches his older sister's outpouring of grief, but he feels he cannot express such an emotion himself. He has entered a state of numbness; one almost reminiscent of stupefaction. His father was his entire world, and now that world has come crumbling down around him all at once. Put simply, he does not know how to react to the situation before him. He sees and acknowledges Gemma's and his father's reactions right in front of him; but despite this, and despite how much he wants to cry, he remains frozen to the spot.

Gemma attempts feebly to compose herself so that she can voice her main question. "But—But did he—did he feel any pain?"

Levi glances over to his husband, lips parted to breathe. "He ... He didn't disturb me through the night. I would have heard if he was in pain. He—it must have been in his sleep. It must have been peaceful a-and painless."

"You think so?" Gemma demands tearfully.

"I think so," Levi asserts. "I-I don't think he felt anything at all."

Gemma nods, feeling at least a little relief in the knowledge that her beloved father didn't suffer in his final moments. "I just can't believe it, Dad."

"Me either, sweetheart." Levi tries to pull himself together; he stands himself up from the bed, clearing his throat loudly to rid the lump in his oesophagus. "W-We need to call an ambulance. Or—Or whoever we need to call to ... " An overwhelming, insurmountable feeling of grief prevents him from concluding his sentence.

Kieran's voice unexpectedly chiming in stops Levi in his tracks. "Wait, Dad. In fact, both of you."

Levi looks to his son. "What?"

Kieran doesn't say anything further; instead, he opens his arms, inviting the pair in for a hug. They oblige to this, shuffling around the bed to enter one another's embraces.

"It's me and you against the world now, kids," Levi assures them, his voice breaking. "Me and you against the world. And we'll get through it together."

• • •

"I can't believe you've done this to me," Levi sighs. His eyes avert upwards, landing on the stars up above him. "I thought we were forever, George. We made that promise to each other when we were kids. And now look what's happened.

"I've always known that the time would come where one of us would have to leave the other. But never in a million years, did I think it would be this soon. And on Christmas Day, too? My darling, you know how to make a dramatic exit. You always did have that skill. What a downer on your favourite time of year, hey?

"I'm sorry if what I'm saying is in poor taste. But knowing you, you'd probably have loved the dark humour. You were always self-deprecating, you little shit. But you know that I'd give anything to hear you slag yourself off, just one more time. It still doesn't feel real that I'll never hear your sweet, sweet voice ever again. I'm still sort of in denial about it all, to be honest with you.

"We taught each other so much in our time. And I remember all those times after your mum died, when you told me that photos and videos are important — because one day that's all you'll have left of someone. All those years captured, in individual frames and pixels. Forty-one years is a bloody long time to live with and love somebody, don't you think? Well, I say that — it still felt too short. It's mad to me that I was twenty-four and you were twenty-three when we met. We were so naïve, and we didn't really know anything at all, did we?"

Levi pauses his speech for a moment; for he can feel his moss green irises glazing over with tears. He can just about make out the brightest star in the sky, though the single, tiny speck is more like a blurred splash of light due to his impaired vision. He reminisces silently on all the times he shared with his husband through the years; there was plenty of good and bad, but he looks back fondly on almost all of it. Any moment with George, in hindsight, was a true blessing.

"You know," Levi finally resumes his speech, "I still remember the first time I spoke to you. All because I called the wrong number. I was only trying to get through to my mum's friend to ask her if she'd seen her. Mum had gone into Reading with her for a few drinks, and she was out late. I was getting worried. Well, thank god I called the wrong person, hey? One number different, and I'd have had a completely different life now. And so would you. But I suppose these things happen, don't they?

"It's just a shame that now I have to live this life without you. Sixty-four is no age, really. You were taken from us way too soon, George. Way, way too soon. And it's not fair. I know life likes to throw curveballs, but it could have given me any curveball. Just not this. Not this.

"When I called Birdie to break the news, she was so devastated. She couldn't get over the fact you had both made a pact with one another, to make up for all those years you lost to know one another. She barely knew you. She only had a few months with you. Her grief is an entirely different kind to the grief that Kieran and Gem will be experiencing. She doesn't have the memories like they do.

"I suppose the main things I can take from this though, are, firstly, that you didn't suffer. I think that's the least you deserved though, to be honest. With all the turmoil you went through in your life, you earned the right to go peacefully. Secondly, you're with Mama L and Papa J now. I know you missed them a lot. I bet the three of you are living it up now, aren't you? Well, if you have a drink for me up there, then I'll make sure to have a drink down here for you. How's that for a deal?"

Levi grabs his bottle of beer from the garden table beside him, raising it to toast to George.

"Now, I know I cheaped out a bit on the choice of beverage. But I know you liked this stuff." He looks up again, at the same star as before. "So this one's for you, my darling. Here's to love and equality. Here's to us. And here's to you, my angel. Rest easy up there. And in the words of a certain favourite artist of mine ... "I'm so proud to say, I love you". Always, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou-Jones. My forever lover."

• • •

"If you've got something to say — why don't you say it?" George frowns, tears forming in his doe eyes. "Otherwise, there's no use in us wasting time here." He slowly rotates his body around, facing away from Levi, before starting to walk off. He halts, however, with no warning, when Levi speaks up.

"Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou," Levi breathes, with perfect pronunciation, among the commotion of the fireworks behind them. "I love you."

George's head snaps back around; he stares into Levi's eyes to see how genuine he appears. The tears that have accumulated finally spill over his lashes, falling freely down his cheeks as he expels a shaky laugh; he steps back over to Levi, standing opposite him.

"Can you repeat that?" he requests, no louder than a whisper due to nerves.

"You know I'm not afraid to tell you. Not now, and not ever." Levi moves forward a touch, so that he can hold George's face in his hands. "And so I'll say it again for you. I love you."

"You tosser," George sniffles, giving a loose grin through his crying. "I can't believe I'm saying this. I love you." He shudders at the words that have just come from his mouth, but the adrenaline drives him to repeat it, with much more enthusiasm this time. "I love you."

"You love me?" Levi questions playfully, just to be sure.

"Yeah," George laughs. "And you love me?"

"I do, yeah." Levi shares the amusement with him, before finally sealing the small space between them in a deep kiss.

Both the men can't help but keep gently giggling at their silly interaction as they take slow pecks at one another's lips. The attraction between them is undeniable; not only this, though — the mutual adoration is also undeniable. At one point, they both only knew lust; but now, they both know true love, too.

• • •

Hello, Dear Diary. And, simultaneously, goodbye, Dear Diary.

It's Levi. I just wanted to add to what the kids wrote.

I'll keep it short. There's not much left to say.

Thank you for everything. I know you're just a book, but you're the most important book in existence to us, now.

Life has gone by in the blink of an eye. Five minutes ago, I was a dumb 24-year-old in love for the first time. And, simultaneously, for the last time.

I've grown since those days in the eighties. I've learnt a lot in sixty-five years of life.

But life is all about that, isn't it? Learning along the way.

The things that I know, nobody told me. Instead, they were shown to me. Through experiences. Through thoughts and feelings. Through love.

... And in the end, love conquers all.

Levi xx

• • •

The Things That I Know

Completed November 16, 2023.

And that's the end!

I won't lie — tears were shed over this one!

I know it was a long one — but considering the adventure is now officially over for George and Levi, it felt too short for me!

I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did writing it! xx