Gemma

"How much longer are you going to make me do this?" I ask Cassian as he unfolds the red-and-white chequered picnic blanket he brought. Anxiously, I begin to swing the cooler back and forth. Just like old times (and by old times I mean the recent camping trip, as well as high school), Cassian and I planned out a way to bring alcohol onto public property without breaking the law. We brought some beer and wine coolers and ice, which we're going to put in our Yeti cups. No one will ever be able to tell if we're drinking water or booze...So long as we don't drink too much and start acting like idiots. Which is something I'm definitely not going to do. Being around all these people, these people who continue to stare and whisper in my direction, I need to stay alert. I've seen several people already that were the main characters in my nightmares back then. I know the truth in my heart – I didn't sleep with anyone back then – but that doesn't stop them from acting relentlessly.

"I didn't force you to come here," Cassian states, cocking an eyebrow at me from behind his sunglasses. "You made a deal with your brother. Don't pin this on me."

I huff out a plume of frustrated air, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I wasn't pinning this on you. You did show up at my house to pick me up, though. So some of the blame does go to you."

"Okay, fine. But someone has to keep you from moping. Although, I do have to admit that I'm getting tired of trying to prevent both of you from moping around. Why can't you just talk to Jake, Gemma? I understand you're upset with yourself for making such an immature decision about how to get back at him, but where do we draw the line here? The only reason you did that to him was because of the decisions he made. This is your prime opportunity to stop the cycle and prevent something like this from happening again in the future. Hold yourself accountable for what you did, but don't constantly blame yourself and wallow in self-pity."

I push my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose and give him a look. "I'm not moping."

"I've run into you at the gym six times this past week – and I only go in the morning. A little bird told me you've been going twice a day for three hours, give or take. You're basically replacing sex with exercise, and that's terrible to overwork your body like you are. I'm a workout fiend and even I know my limits."

"I'm...I'm not replacing sex with exercise!" I sputter, my cheeks heating. "I'm far from being satisfied with – "

Cassian holds up his hand. "Please," he drawls. "You and Jake were always much more relaxed and content the next morning and well into the evening. You two always acted weird."

I set the cooler down and turn my back to Cassian, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't think exercising qualifies as moping."

"Maybe you're right," he replies, taking his place next to me as he searches the crowd. "But it definitely qualifies as a distraction."

A crease forms between my brows. Cassian's an idiot – a stupidly observant idiot. On top of going to the gym twice a day, I've also been walking there to get some extra fresh air. Aside from the night Reid arrived, I've kept up that routine. And as much as I hate to admit it, Cassian's correct – all this exercise is a distraction to keep my mind off of Jake and the reunion. Despite being strong and brave enough to come, I'm anxious. It's difficult not to be when there's a lot of bad blood circulating around this grassy field.

I sigh. These are definitely not the people I want to surround myself with. To be honest, I wish I were back at the campfire with Jake, Nolan, Penelope, Cassian, and the rest of the gang. I miss them. I miss being able to be myself without the terrible weight of judgement on my shoulders. It puts too much on my mind, which is almost overridden with thoughts. Aside from the reunion and my problems regarding Jake, I've been thinking a lot about what my brother said to me. This whole mess is complicated, but he did have a point when he said Jake's decisions are the cause of my decisions. As wrong and immature as they were, I did have a valid reason. The reason it messes with my mind so much is that it was unfair of me to think Jake was still the same person he was in high school before I got to know him again. What I can say, though, is that I've learned my lesson. Rather than pranking someone or using similar revenge tactics, I'm just going to talk it out. Of, if they're the type of person who can't own up to their own mistakes, I'm going to leave it. Some situations aren't worth my time.

Cassian pokes me in the side. "You've always hated me being right. Why is that?"

The teasing tone in his voice makes me smile, but I don't turn my gaze to him. Instead, I wave at Morgane and Parker, who are both heading in our direction. "Because you're a thick-skulled man."

Cassian scoffs. "I'll have you know that one body part, in particular, is thick – and it's definitely not my skull."

My face contorts into a look of disgust as I give Cassian an aggressive shove. "That's disgusting!" I exclaim. "Christ, Cassian! This is a family-friendly event."

He laughs, ruffling my hair before leaning down and snatching a beer from the cooler. I watch as he pours it into his black Yeti cup, shoving the empty can back in the cooler. "Speaking of families...I'm going to go say hi to Felix and his family. You good?"

I glance back at Parker and Morgane. I know I could handle this on my own, dealing with the people who made my life a living hell, but it's comforting to know my friends have my back. Besides, I don't want to keep Cassian from spending time with his friends; he was always close to the football team. "Yeah," I reply, punching him in the shoulder, lightly, of course. "Go hang out with your old folks' group."

Cassian rolls his eyes as he turns away, his sandals leaving temporary imprints in the grass as he crosses the field to where Jake and Felix are socializing under the maple tree. As I stare at the three of them, I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, awestruck by just how amazing Jake looks today, in his navy-blue shorts and white shirt, the top two buttons undone and making my knees wobble slightly. I don't know what it is about men having their button-up shirts partially open, but it gets me every time. Just like his dimples do when he smiles.

As if Jake can feel my eyes on him, he glances in my direction. Even from across the field, our gazes lock for several seconds. It's difficult to decipher the look on his face. It's difficult to sort out the emotional paradox I'm currently facing. I don't understand how when we're in such close proximity it feels like there's an ocean between us.

Several more seconds pass before Jake raises his hand and waves at me, a weak smile on his tempting lips, the equally as tempting dimples visible on his face. My chest constricts for a brief moment as I contemplate rushing over to him and apologizing for my irresponsible decisions, and then kissing him as we did on margarita night.

But I can't seem to move my feet, despite my heart's longing for him. Turning away, I paste a fake smile on my face and greet Morgane and Parker.

*  *  *

I want to go home. The beginning of the reunion was okay; I was actually able to mingle with some familiar faces without the past being brought up. But once the catcalls started, once the comments about my too-short romper started being thrown around, the ground started to crumble beneath my feet. I'm done with this bullshit. Which is exactly why, after the speeches, I've convinced Cassian to drive me home. Well...Cassian convinced me to wait until after the speeches because he wants to be part of the football team's speech. I had no choice but to accommodate to his wishes.

Right now, Jake, Cassian, and the rest of the football team are taking the spotlight. While they get situated, I focus on the screen behind them, watching each picture that appears, then disappears. Lucky for me, there haven't been too many of me. I guess the yearbook committee didn't want photos of the campus whore plaguing their photo collection. Bastards.

Honestly, I don't understand the point of these speeches. I know part of our high school reunion includes a fundraiser for Claremont Secondary School's gym, but I'm not exactly sure why the football team and valedictorian need to speak. It makes me feel like I've attended some type of political rally.

But I deal with it, sitting down on my picnic blanket with Parker and Morgane.

"Do you see the tropical print shirt Jesse Stroup is wearing?" Parker asks in a hushed tone. His eyes are saturated with something that reminds me of sexual hunger. I won't be surprised if Parker ends up taking Jesse home tonight. "He's only gotten hotter over the years."

Morgane wrinkles her nose. I try not to cringe. Despite Jesse coming out after graduation, he was one of the biggest assholes on the football team, claiming he did a helluva lot more than sleep with me when the rumour broke out. He used my vulnerability to prevent people from cluing in that he is fully, one hundred per cent gay.

Parker is about to justify his statement when Jake begins to speak into the microphone. "Can everyone hear me?"

A chorus of replies echoes across the field.

"Great," Jake smiles.

Those stupid, fucking dimples. God, I love them.

"So, as you all know, my name is Jake Swift and I used to play for Claremont's football team." A cheer, that's very abrasive to my ears, echoes around us. When the cheer dies down, Jake introduces each member of the football team, even the ones who couldn't make it to the reunion today. "On behalf of the sports program of Claremont Secondary School and the rest of the football team, we would personally like to thank all of you for the support you showed us year after year – you guys are the very reason our high school was able to have a football team in the first place, so thank you. We also want to thank you for the tremendous amount of support that's been made via donations. The senior representative of Claremont will be revealing the final number later this afternoon."

As I listen to Jake speak, I begin to realize just how good of a businessman he is. Standing up there, in front of the crowd and speaking into the microphone, Jake practically oozes confidence – and not the obnoxious kind, either. It's subtle and invigorating; the way he speaks, the way he holds himself, it all makes you want to listen to him. For the next several minutes, he continues on about what it was like playing for Claremont, what it was like for the team to represent the District of Saanich during provincial, et cetera. But then something strange happens.

"As you all know," Jake continues, his eyes finding mine in the large crowd, "I was involved in a serious car accident that involved the death of my parents. It also ended my football career. I won't go into too much detail about the aftermath of it all. What I will say, though, is that there was a lot of injustice that was caused by me when I was discharged from the hospital and was able to return to class."

I frown, wondering where the hell he's going with this. He's supposed to be talking about football. Unless he's trying to find a personal connection with the sport, I don't see where he's going with this.

"Hey," Morgane whispers.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"I'm going to run to the washroom. Be right back."

I wave her off, too immersed in Jake's speech.

"You see, I was too weak to handle all the attention, all the pitying looks that were being directed at me as I walked down the hallways of Claremont Secondary School. I couldn't handle the questions about whether I would be returning to the field or the apologies I received from random people." He pauses, taking a deep breath, never averting his eyes from mine. "Which is why I spread a rumour about Gemma Alder. I wanted the spotlight off of me, so I sacrificed my best friend's, my girlfriend's reputation in order to save myself the hassle."

A murmur of gasps goes through the crowd, including one from my own mouth. I press a hand over my mouth, my eyes still locked with Jake's. This can't be happening...I can't believe it.

"I did not have sex with Gemma Alder during that time, and nor did the rest of the football team. She was a pawn in my game, and I'm up here to tell her that I am so, so sorry for what happened; for what the outcomes were. I should have never thrown you under the bus, Gemma, and I still want to do whatever I can to fix things."

Suddenly, the pictures behind Jake, the ones on the screen change. Now all I see are ones of Jake and I from the camping trip.

"See, I should have known that Gemma would come back and bite me in the ass. Because if there's one thing I learned, it's that you don't fuck with her," he continues, the corner of his mouth curved upward. "You don't fuck with her or else she'll spike your pasta sauce with ground-up laxatives or replace your sunscreen with waxing cream. You don't fuck with her because she's a strong, honest, beautiful young woman who doesn't take any bullshit; she will give you what you deserve without sugar-coating it." He pauses, clearing his throat. Behind him, I catch the picture Hanna took of me tearing the waxing strips off of Jake's body. It makes me feel regret, but I also want to laugh. Despite the suffering, it was quite funny to watch his reaction. "I direct this one to you now, Gemma. What you did to me, I deserved it. Don't blame yourself – even if you tell yourself your decisions were immature. You had every reason to hate me because I destroyed your life back in high school, I made all these gullible people believe you were something you're not. But, because I know you, because I know your mind is set on the pranks being immature, let me be the first to say that I forgive you. Wholeheartedly and without a second thought. And that night in my office with Olive? She came onto me; I had been in the midst of trying to get her to leave when she made her moves. I have no feelings for that psychotic bitch. The only feelings I have are directed towards you. I'm still in love with you, Gemma Jocelyn Alder. I want you back. I want you all to myself. You have always owned my heart. For better or worse. I want to be with you...But only if you want me, too."

I can hardly breathe as he stares at me, his eyes filled with raw emotion. There are tears dripping down my face, a hand covering my mouth. The silence that surrounds us is deadly, but I ignore it. I'm rooted in place, trying to find the courage to walk up to him and kiss him. Because the truth is, I'm tired of faking. I'm tired of being mad at him, at myself.

I watch as Cassian steps forward and takes the microphone from Jake, nudging him forward. He hesitates for a moment but begins to walk towards me. I stand here, my heart taking off at a rapid pace. I'm embarrassed that I can't find any words. I'm embarrassed that this is happening in front of a bunch of adults.

When Jake is standing in front of me, he smiles down at me, those stupid dimples showing again. "Can you ever forgive me for what I did?" he asks softly. "Because I miss you, Gem. And it's killing me, being away from you, the woman I've been in love with since the day we met."

I search Jake's blue eyes, thinking about our past and everything that's happened between us. He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm so sorry, Gem," he whispers. "I promise, I'm done making mistakes."

"We all make mistakes," I reply, my voice hoarse. "And whenever we do, we always learn from them. I can't hold them against you when you've held yourself accountable for them. The truth is...I miss you, too. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I should have known better than to inflict pain upon you. We should have talked sooner. But the best we can do is learn, and I think we have. So, for the love of God, just kiss me now."

I don't have to tell Jake twice. Sliding his hand up my shoulder to cup my cheek, he dips his head down and presses his lips to mine. I'm vaguely aware of the audience, of the oohs and awes that radiate around us. The same goes for the clapping.

When Jake breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine, he smiles and asks, "Wanna get out here?"

I slowly nod my head. I've had enough of these people. I want to get back to how life felt before, as if everything made sense and everything was perfect. I want us.

Threading his fingers with mine, Jake tugs me away from the crowd and towards the parking lot.

As we walk, my steps begin to feel lighter. Happiness begins to settle in my stomach.

We still need to discuss everything that's gone on, but this is definitely a step in the right direction. I close my eyes for a second, revelling in the heat of his hand closed around mine, the scent of his cologne, in everything I missed about Jake.

I don't know where we're heading but as long as I'm with Jake, I'm okay with it.