ZEN

Our class will start at 10 a.m. pero alas nuwebe pa lang ay naghihintay na sa 'kin si Rozend. Nakikipag-usap na siya kay Josh sa sala habang tinuturuan niya ang kapatid ko sa pagtugtog ng gitara. Maybe he's just excited to attend the summer camp.

I'm still preparing my things. I wear a white shirt, a jumper suit and white sandals. Inilagay ko sa loob ng backpack ko ang mga gamit ko sa pagpipinta habang bitbit ko naman ang malaking drawing pad sa kanang kamay.

Pumunta ako sa kusina upang magpaalam kay Mama. "Ma, papasok na kami ni Rozend," sabi ko. I kissed her cheeks and she let out a small satisfied smile. She's liking the changes in me now.

"Sige. Mag-iingat kayo ni Rozend. Make some new friends, alright?" nakangiting paalala niya.

I'm not really sure about that. I'm only sure about one thing. It's alright now because I have a new friend and that's Rozend. I don't think I can handle another friend for now. Tumango ako kahit alam kong hindi talaga ako sigurado kung magkakaroon pa ako ng mga bagong kaibigan.

Niyaya ko na si Rozend. I drive the small Ford pickup because we can't afford to walk and be late. Rozend secures his seatbelt. He's wearing his usual dark colored clothes and baggy pants. After parking the Ford pickup in the University's huge parking lot, we head to the assigned building for Art workshops.

We're walking in the hallway while checking the paintings hanging on the walls of the school. There are also huge murals painted on the wall. Some are colorful while some paintings are trying to make silent but powerful statements.

There are different classrooms assigned for different arts like sculpture, painting, music, dancing, writing and the likes.

I noticed the students. Some are fooling around with friends. Some are alone. Some are together with their old friends and they look contented with their lives and circle of friends while discussing arts with passion in their eyes. Discussing in progress works that soon will become masterpieces. Discussing ideas and techniques about innovated arts and all.

I noticed that the wide field outside is occupied by young artists, sculptors and painters. All I see are people who are passionate about what they're doing, passionate about arts. Some are painting on the wide field while some are molding figures with dirty muddy hands. Some are sketching and singing and dancing in the open fields.

Some of them are kind of mysterious. Some are unsmiling but you know they're just serious about their works. And I suddenly thought that the students here have art living inside of them. Art is running through their veins and they are just so contagious and inspiring.

I turned to Rozend and I saw how happy and mesmerized he is in this kind of intoxicated atmosphere. He is contented to watch each one of them while performing their own art. He's fascinated by the timeless passion he's seeing. As if this is the first time in his life to see people like him who are too in love with art, people with passion that can burn normal people down or maybe infect them.

And it seems Rozend is not aware that he's one of these passionate people who are one with art. While I'm still in doubt if I really belong here.

Tumigil kami sa harap ng Painting classroom.

"I don't think I belong here," I blurted out my thoughts without even thinking. My face suddenly turns red.

When he turned to me, he smiles at me and pats my head lightly as if telling me I'm going to be alright. Maybe he noticed the doubt and worry in my eyes.

"You belong here, Zen," he said with a soft smile. "I am the one who isn't."

And I'm not sure if he's just saying this to ease my worries but I rolled my eyes.

"Rozend, you know very well that this is your calling. It's very clear that you belong here," giit ko.

He opened his mouth to speak but he hesitated and just pursed his lips. Tila nag-iisip siya ng sasabihin pero makalipas ang ilang minutong pag-iisip ay ngumiti siya sa 'kin. "Soon, you'll be convinced that you belong here. You'll figure things out."

Bumuntong-hininga ako. Pumasok na kami sa loob ng classroom kung saan marami ng estudyante ang nasa loob at nag-uusap-usap. Everyone is already forming their own groups and circle of friends. I'm just thankful now that I have Rozend with me and I don't have to exert much effort on making friends.

Umupo ako sa dulo, sa tabi ng bintana at tumabi naman sa 'kin si Rozend. I'm a bit awkward because it seems that Rozend is attracting the people around him. May lumapit na agad sa kanya upang makipagkilala, lalaki man o babae. I feel like an insignificant wallflower now without any skills of making friends. Nakikipagkilala lang sila sa 'kin dahil hindi nakakalimutan ni Rozend na banggitin ang pangalan ko. Or maybe it's just me who isn't friendly after all.

Four teenagers approach us. "Hi, I'm Chantalle Arce," she said. Chantalle tied her colorful unicorn hair in a high ponytail and her eyes are covered with thick eyeliners while chewing her bubblegum. She has this chick badass look while wearing her black shirt designed by a skull and ripped jeans. She sits in the arm of the drawing table. She actually has this rebel vibe but her looks are kind of refreshing.

"I'm Rozend Villamor," nakangiting pakilala naman ni Rozend dahil sa kanya naman nagpapakilala si Chantalle. "And this is Zen. Paris Zen del Rio." I almost roll my eyes but I stop myself. Bakit kailangan pa niya akong ipakilala? I don't think they're even interested to know my name. Napilitan akong ngumiti kay Chantalle nang bumaling ang atensiyon niya sa 'kin.

"Hi Zen," nakangiting bati ni Chantalle. She seems like a friendly one. "This one is my friend, Chelsey Aclan." Pakilala niya sa babaeng katabi niya na nakasuot ng eyeglasses. Matipid na ngumiti si Chelsey sa 'kin at bahagyang tumango sa 'kin. I wonder how they become friends? They look like opposite poles to me. "She's a bit shy and introverted but she's a passionate one," nakangiting dagdag ni Chantalle. Maybe she's not bad as she looks. You can't really judge a book by its cover after all.

"Rozend, sa Serene kayo nakatira?" tanong ni Jax Ramirez na kanina pang nagpakilala sa 'min. Jax has a cool air around him with his hair cut clean and short. And if someone will look at him, no one will really guess that he's into painting. He's like those popular guys in town who would rather play football or basketball. Shaun Reyes is his friend and they have the same air and vibe but Shaun has a more serious look than Jax.

"Yes. I just move in here. And Zen is my neighbor. Kayo ba?" Rozend asks in return.

"We're all from the town Clarity, next to Serene," sagot ni Jax.

"Ah, magkakilala kayong apat?"

"Yes. We're from the same school. Pero nagulat din kami nang makita namin ang isa't isa rito. But it's nice to know that we have the same passion and art brought us together here," nakangiting sagot ni Jax.

"And I never thought Jax can say something cheesy like that," nakangising komento ni Chantalle. "We really don't know anything about each other and it's surprising to see a different side of these two. They are always the popular cool boys in school after all." She wears a teasing grin as she looks at the two boys who are now faintly blushing.

"And you're the popular troublemaker and that's more surprising than us being here," naka-halukipkip na komento ni Shaun. "Chelsey is more acceptable to be here."

Mahinang tumawa si Chantalle. She's not offended by his remarks though. "Yeah. Chelsey fits in here."

"But your painting skills are more amazing than mine, Chantalle," giit ni Chelsey. "Hindi mo lang ipinapakita sa ibang tao kung sino ka talaga kaya pinagdududahan nila ang kakayahan mo."

"It's fine. These two boys can eat my artworks after this summer camp," she said with a chuckle. But I don't think she really means it.

Ngumiti si Shaun kay Chantalle. "You never change. Don't say that to other people or they will misunderstand." Maybe they know each other after all.

"Good thing we're already familiar with you, Troublemaker," nakangising segunda ni Jax. Chantalle just rolled her eyes while chewing her bubblegum.

Maybe we are all misfits here who are looking for the right place to belong. And here I am secretly enjoying their conversation. And I noticed that Rozend is smiling at their cute banters too.

Natigilan kaming lahat nang pumasok na ang instructor namin kaya bumalik na sina Chantalle sa kani-kanilang upuan. Seryosong pumasok ang naka-eye glasses na lalaki sa loob ng classroom. He brought some manuals for us and put them on the table. Pinasadahan niya ng tingin ang bawat isa sa 'min bago tuluyang ngumiti.

"This class is going to be interesting. I see a lot of misfits here," he said with a light smile. "But I didn't mean it as a bad thing. It's nice to know that art can gather different types of personalities in one place and fit them all together. Until they are no longer misfits."

I like to think that way too. That we can no longer be misfits because of art.

"By the way, I'm Charles Martinez and I will be your painting instructor. And since this is just a one-month workshop, I'll try to teach you the essentials of oil painting. We will also have some activities for the coming days. There's a class activity, an individual and by pairs project. You can find a partner now for the by pairs project."

"And for your individual project, you can start the preparations now. I want you to paint something important to you. Something you don't want to forget. You will present your individual paintings on the last day of this summer workshop and explain your paintings," he said with a smile.

"For the by pairs project, you have to draw your partner. Draw them just as how you perceive them. You can paint them with exactness or ask them to model for you. You can paint an abstract if you think your partner is an abstract," he even joked. Malakas na tumawa ang buong klase dahil sa sinabi niya.

"For the class activity, we will have a fieldtrip wherein we are going to paint the things we see. You don't have to paint the place with exactness. You just have to paint how you see things around you. Again it can be an abstract. Because sometimes our emotions and point of views are complicated and unpredictable and we can't just express them through specific figures. There are a lot of ways painters can express themselves through painting. Some paintings are meant to make powerful statements. Some paintings are born to the silent pleas of the painter himself. Some paintings are full of mysteries and they're not meant to be understood but to be appreciated. I want you to just express yourself because painting is a form of self-expression. That means painting is just about you and the way you perceive things. There is no right or wrong when it comes to painting," he explained.

I just like how he's explaining these things to us. So that's what it means to paint. With the way he describes things, there is something steering inside of me. Is it excitement? Is it my passion whose been lying in slumber? It makes me a little nervous.

"Our classroom classes will be scheduled on Monday to Wednesday only. Thursday and Friday are allotted for your painting activities. You can meet with your partners to paint or complete your individual paintings. Alright. Let's start our first lesson."

He distributes the manuals and starts our classroom lessons.

Tumingin sa 'kin si Rozend. He leans closer and whispers. "You'll be my partner, right?"

"Well, it's easier," kibit-balikat na saad ko.

Lumawak ang ngiti niya sa 'kin.

"How do you plan to paint me?" he said with a teasing grin.

"The sun," I answered without thinking. "How about you? Huwag mo'ng subukang mag-paint ng pangit ha!"

"Hmmm. Then I'll paint the universe. And I will finish it."

Bahagyang namula ang mukha ko.

I'm not really sure of what he meant by universe though.

***