Chapter 34

I didn't see Esther for another couple of days. We didn't have classes together.

    It was strange to finally understand why I'd felt an odd sense of hollowness before, when I didn't see Esther for a little while.

    It hadn't been because I was getting into one of my depressed episodes.

    I just really missed Esther and wanted to see her all the time, but I didn't have insight into my own feelings just yet to understand it.

    It was humbling to realize how stupid I was sometimes.

    But also, I missed Esther.

Honestly, it kind of sucked that she didn't have a cellphone and that I couldn't text her at all hours of the day, or call her just to hear her voice.

It was probably a good thing though. She would get annoyed with me reaaal quick if I could reach her all the time.

I could have easily found a reason to drop at the apartment, like bringing her more food, or asking her to study with me. I was generally an imaginative guy. I could have come up with something.

But I also understood that I wanted to see Esther all the time, but maybe she didn't want that herself. She was dealing with her own stuff right now, and the last thing she needed was a lovesick idiot following around all the time.

Tyler was hiding out at Vanessa's apartment because he thought I would be easily distracted like him and not remember than I was annoyed with him if he stayed away from me for long enough.

     At long last, on Friday, I had a class with Esther.

    I arrived early, but Esther had beat me to it, and was already sitting at our usual table.

    I sat beside her with a grin.

    "I take it you've gotten better at getting around from my apartment," I told her teasingly.

    "It's definitely easier to get to class from there," she replied with a smile small.

    I frowned just a little bit. There was something off. I could feel it. But I didn't exactly want to press.

    "No problems with the apartment?" I asked, trying to fish out what was bothering her.

    "Everything is great. Thank you," she said, and it seemed like she was covering up whatever was bothering her. "Your doorman is very friendly."

    "Yeah, I told him you would be staying there. If he doesn't know you, he's usually like a very efficient guard dog. No one gets past him."

    I said it in part to joke, but also to reassure her. No one weird was getting into that apartment without her knowledge.

    She was safe. As long as she wanted my help, I would make sure she'd stay safe.

    "That's good."

    "Do you need to run any more errands? Are you low of dish soap?" I asked. Did she need something and she was still to shy to ask?

    "Oh sorry, was I meant to wash the dishes? I thought you had maids for that," she said, a little teasingly, her voice soft.

    I had no idea what it was about her voice that gave me chills at the back of my head.

But it was a good distraction. Or a bad one, really.

    I needed her to narrate one book—or ten—for me.

    "Are you making a joke at my expanse?" I chuckled.

    She scrunched her nose a bit, still teasing. "Maybe."

    I grinned at her. "I assure you I've never had a maid."   

    She made a face. "Sure."

    "My grandfather on the other hand has married two of his," I informed her.

    She snorted. "I hope not at the same time."

    I made a face. "Well, he did cheat with the second maid while married to the first one."

    "I feel like your family drama is like a bad episode of Days of our Lives."

    I shook my index at her. "Oh, on the contrary, my family drama is like a good episode of Days of our Lives. Or like, sixty good seasons of a day time soap opera."

    I wouldn't be surprised one day if someone made a shitty movie about my grandfather. The man was definitely entertaining, and not always for the good reasons.

    "Thanks again," she said softly, her eyes not meeting mine. "For what you did. With your grandfather."

    "Anytime. Anything you need," I told her seriously. When I said that, I could see it in her eyes again. Something was on her mind. Something was bothering her. "Is everything okay?"

    "Yeah."

    "Are you sure?" She didn't answer, so I assumed I was right, and there was something wrong. "What is it?"

"Nothing..." she shook her head. "I'll talk about it after class."

"Okay," I replied, though a little reluctantly. Sure the class was about to start, but also.

Curiosity.

Delaying potential serious conversations was a strange form of torture. I spent the whole lecture going over every possible scenarios in my head about what Esther might want to talk about, from telling me she'd set fire to my apartment, to asking me to marry her so we could run some insurance scam.

I felt more twitchy than when I'd been in full blown nicotine withdrawal.

When class was finally over and we started to gather our things, I counter to thirty and then asked, because I couldn't handle not knowing anymore. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Esther just gnawed at her bottom lip, not looking in my eyes.

"I feel a little bad asking you this, but..."

She paused for a second, so I reminded her, "You know I told you you can ask me anything."

"I know. That's why I'm asking..." she paused. She took a breath. She looked in pain, "would you mind... would it be okay if we went to my grandmother's house? I called and she said she'll be alone this afternoon. That way I can grab some of my stuff. And check in with her," Esther asked, playing with the cuffs of her cardigan.

I wanted to take her hands in mine and smooth the worries away from her face.

I leaned down my head a bit, trying to get her to look in my eyes. "Of course, no problem at all."

"You sure? You don't have classes?"

I actually did have one class, but I wasn't going to tell her that. Not when she needed me and she'd worked up the courage to ask for my help.

But anyway, my professor was insane for giving a class on a Friday afternoon. He had to known half of his students would skip it so I didn't feel bad about ditching this one.

"I'm all yours!" I assured her with a grin, that way I wasn't actually lying to her.

I really wasn't lying to her about that.

But was I imagining the pink tint on her cheeks at my answer?

________________________

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I'm back to uploading Nik's story weekly again. It'll be on Tuesdays like it used to.

I'll be uploading at least one chapter in advance on Patreon if you're ever impatient. (patreon.com/kariannegiard) It'll be available with the first tier so like it's $1. The chapter for this week on Patreon will be up later. I need to finish my Lil Bitch chapter first for Patreon, so in about 24 hours Nik's should be up.

Alrighty! Back to writing! Thanks for waiting for me! <3