{OP: "Trees"--The Oh Hellos]

Karui did think twice about her remark once she'd ordered.

"I didn't mean to be insulting," she said. "I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea. It'd be so embarrassing to have people talk when there's already enough rumors going around about your team."

"Of course," Choji said placidly. "No worries."

Karui nodded. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then... Uh, it's not a fancy thing, right?"

"The other girls usually dress up in whatever they've got, but I don't think the guys will bother." Choji shrugged. "Whatever you like."

Karui had wanted a better answer than that but didn't think she'd get one; she knew Choji didn't care much about stuff like that.

[He's just Chin Po from Mulan. "I couldn't care less what she wear, or what she looks like. To me it's all about what she cooks like..."]

* * *

Day 100:

The morning of the party day, Shine was enjoying her coffee before the kids got up, though she knew Temari was up already, but she was outside practicing her jutsu over the tops of the rocks.

Sasuke interrupted her by coming in, grabbing a cup of coffee (he'd taken to doing this every day lately), and sitting down.

Shine closed her book. "Yes?"

"Hmm?" Sasuke looked up. "I didn't say anything."

"You looked like you wanted to. I suspected you were going to take a while to get up the nerve, but, we have a busy day, so if you'd get right to the point, I'd appreciate it."

Sasuke looked almost offended.

"Sorry." Shine leaned back. "I didn't mean it that way. Is something wrong?"

"No, not exactly," Sasuke said. "Just something with Sakura."

"Again?"

"She's always doing something to get on my nerves," he complained. "But I hate it the most when she has a point."

"I could see that." Shine somehow kept a straight face when she said that.

"Don't make fun of me... I've just been thinking that I never do anything in this team but fight, sometimes. Everyone else contributes something else, but that's all I know to do. Without that, I'd be useless."

Shine almost couldn't believe this was Sasuke she was hearing. When had this happened? When had he begun to notice this wasn't all there was to life?

But she hid her surprise.

"You aren't the only person who mostly just fights--Tenten for one, but she seems happy that way. Tenten is not a very social person, and it's enough for her to think she adds something at least. But not for you. Perhaps it never was."

Silence.

"Have you asked yourself if you even Iike fighting?" Shine pressed. "Because I never had the idea you do."

"It was never important... I mean...don't all shinobi like fighting?"

"No...Hinata doesn't. And the heroes are the same. Shoto doesn't like fighting--he only likes protecting people, so he fights to do that; Dabi hates fighting; Momo tolerates it, as she enjoys the test of skill; Camie doesn't care. Bakugo is the only one who loves it, and that's why he's the best at it. It's easier to excel at something you have a passion for, and it's fine to like to fight, if that's what you need to do in life. I like a good fight myself. Wally doesn't. We have various reasons for what we do. You don't need to like fighting to be good at it, but isn't that why you've always only developed as much as you needed to? Past achieving your goals, you never cared about fighting."

That was true.

"So what do I do then?" Sasuke said. "That's all I know."

Shine sipped her coffee. "Why not ask what you liked to do before you felt driven to fight? What did Sasuke like to do when he was a child? That's usually a clue as to what we're meant to do as adults, in some way. Me? I loved watching kids even when I was one still. I loved stories. I love making them up. I loved explaining things to my siblings. That all showed I would be a teacher, mentor younger people, and create my own stories too. You'll find that the most content people are the ones who stick to their roots in that way. What did Sakura have to do with this, though?"

"She just said that I could just decide what it means to be an Uchiha now," Sasuke said moodily. "I think you said that once. It sounds ridiculous to think about, but I guess no one else could do it. I didn't think I'd live this long past Itachi...well, to do anything."

"True, that was the problem the whole time. I think I asked you in the beginning what you'd do after that, and you had no answer then. You still don't, but at least now you know why I asked. It's insufficient to live for only one small reason."

"I never cared about anything else... Maybe I never let myself..."

Shine smiled at him gently. "Yes, you did... I remember, don't you?"

"It's been too long." Grimly.

Shine nodded. "Maybe... Trauma does suppress our memories of other things...but it may come back to you in time. I've only seen bits and pieces of your life before the massacre, but what I do know is that you always wanted to spend more time with people you actually cared about."

"That's not a skill," Sasuke said, and yes, he did finally remember what she was talking about. With his father, with his brother, with his mother...

"If you'd recall when you were the most happy, even on Team 7, you'd see that it was the same thing there," Shine said carefully. "I don't know how much to help you, Sasuke, because you may not be ready to hear it all yet, but you might want to at least think if perhaps making connections with people is not what has always made you the most happy. I know you weren't fully happy, with the dark cloud of the past hanging over you, but I think there were times you forgot it even then."

It was true.

Sasuke frowned as he thought it over.

"How is that helpful? Even if it was true...it was a long time ago."

"You used to want to bond with people," Shine said simply. "Because it was the only thing that mattered. And now it hurts too much to care about it. And Itachi encouraged you to forget it, probably because it was the best chance you had to leave behind the mess he made. I hope you learn to forget what he told you, in time. But I have never pushed you to care because I knew it could not be rushed. If you're ready now, then it's the best thing you could do. That will help you find whatever else you need to do. I do think I have an idea, but, I won't tell it to you."

"Why is there always something you hold back?" Sasuke said.

"Because I can't do it all for you. Some things are best if you realize them yourself. And you will, eventually. Hey, if it doesn't happen, I'll tell you. But how dense can even you be, Little Lion Man?"

The nickname coming back made Sasuke feel weirdly soft inside, as he knew now why she was using it.

"Camie played that song," he said, with a controlled look. "It's actually kind of depressing. Why did you use it?"

"I always thought that the song fit you once I heard it. Perhaps I'm weird for thinking of songs that fit the people I know all the time, but I wish I lived in a musical, so it's a side effect. But I thought the lion idea was cool. We're like lions--it's one of the animals God compares Himself to. A cat that's more noble and brave is a lion. The Uchiha clan likes cats, right? But explaining it just makes it more cheesy."

Sasuke was glad at least it wasn't demeaning.

He paused for a while, and when he spoke again, Shine was a bit startled.

"You said...a while ago, that you...love me," he said with difficulty. Those were not easy words for any teen-aged boy to say, but especially someone like him. "I still don't understand why. Is it really just a choice?"

"I told you, it started as one, but it's not just that now." Shine smiled. "I know that it's not easy for you to talk about it. I know... It wasn't for me once either. Wally has helped me so much with that. I do like you for other reasons. You've already grown so much in just 3 months. But I always thought that, if you made up your mind to it, you'd make progress quickly. One thing you've excelled at is throwing yourself headlong into anything you felt was important, and as long as this one sticks, you'll outpace most of the others sooner than you think."

"I doubt that." Sasuke shook his head. "I don't think I will ever be normal enough to act the way they do."

"That is not the deepest kind of love--that's just the easy, lighter kind that you see in the other ninjas. In fact, they are usually unconnected with deeper the kind themselves. That's why they act that way. It's true, you're never going to be good at that the same way they are. But you always took things more deeply than they did. Your kind of love won't look the same, but perhaps it's better."

"I don't know if I'm capable of that anymore."

"Do you want to be?" 

He stared at her like he had not even asked that yet.

"I...I don't know. It's a lot of pain..." He looked down.

He was ashamed to say that to Shine because she took such risks just for love. While he'd thought she was a fool for it at first, he had come to see she was strong because of it too.

"One of my favorite books," Shine said, not angry, "is Hinds Feet on High Places, which taught me about how love works, even before Lewis did. One of the first chapters states that 'love and pain go together'. That is why people fear love. The world hates love because love doesn't need the world, and it's immune to its powers, so it tries to destroy it. No culture, anywhere I've ever been, has been built on love. You can build it on justice, if you get a very good generation of people. Build it on freedom, build it on greed, usually, or power lust. Or on honor, maybe... Not all of them are bad things, but no culture is built on love alone. The idea of benefiting yourself in some way is all that motivates most people to live in a society and follow its rules. And that is why we have society. 'If men were angels, we would not need government,' as one of the founders of my country said. But just because the world cannot stand it doesn't make love a bad thing to base your life on. The pain in it is not really a bad thing. Pain tells you it's real, it's alive. The lack of true pain in love shows only that you don't really love. Even loving someone hurts, without losing them. It can hurt just being so strongly invested in someone else that you feel their pain, not just your own."

"So why do it?" Sasuke had the idea she wanted him to ask that, but he still asked.

"Well, in the book's words, 'it's happy to love'," Shine replied simply. "There's a solace in even sadness, if it's because of love. At least, I'd not trade the pain of being lonely and feeling like no one cared about me for the pain of love. I'd rather feel alive at least. I think Sai would agree with me there. His loveless life was so odious to him, he'd do anything to escape it now. Even your fears are from thwarted love, in some way, Sasuke. The only way to heal them is to learn to love again, and stronger than before. They never go any other way."

A pause.

https://youtu.be/tnwZoCNHDlY

["How To Rest"--The Crane Wives]

"And that is what would make me have purpose?" Sasuke pressed. "That's all?"

"There is nothing else. Have you read that chapter yet? 'Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am a clanging gong... Though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I give my body to be burnt, and I have faith that I can move mountains, but have not love, it profits me nothing.' I tell this to everyone, in every world. It will always be true. People can lie to themselves about what they need in life, but it's all love in the end, or it's empty. There is no comfort when you're dying in having money, fame, or power. Only in knowing that people will miss you and will carry on your legacy when you're gone and will see you again, eventually. That's all we can take with us when we leave this world--love. We love even people who are gone, don't we? We don't care about giving them money or power then, just about loving them. And we feel it would be wrong to forget them, even when they are not alive to appreciate it. In  some way, we all know love is eternal. And it's the only cure for your suffering, too. You suffered because of love--isn't that even in your Uchiha curse, as Tobirama described it? I don't think he was right about it being inevitable, but I do think he's right that love is involved."

"But what if Uchiha can't love in any way but what drives them mad? It's not love at all then. Even saying it sounds weird."

"I'm sure it does. But don't let him decide that for you." Shine shook her head firmly. "Sakura is right--only you can decide. You have the power now; it was put into you. He will help you.  And we are here to help too. But if you don't take that path, you won't heal. I know that. There have been times I've wanted to quit on love myself, but I never could really do it. I knew I had nothing left without that. I never cared enough about money or fame to pursue them for their own sake. I only wanted to matter to someone, and for them to matter to me."

"And you give more than you get back," Sasuke said. "Even in this stuipd Village. Doesn't that bother you?"

"No, not anymore." Shine sipped again. 

[I felt like I had to put a pic here, since it happens so often. Found this on Freepik. Brunette woman drinking coffee. The two cups really just nail Shine's slight coffee addiction.]

"It does sometimes, when it's someone I expect something from. Wally and I might fight occasionally over it, but I've realized also that most people just have no idea what you want. I suppose I hope that people give as much as they can. I know that's how God sees it; we can never love Him the way He loves us, but we can do our best, and He takes it. I take your efforts to help me and understand me as your version of it, even if it's faint, and maybe you haven't paid much attention to it, but, for you, I know that's hard. It is harder for you to do that than it would be for Naruto to be friends with 100 people, so we weigh things by effort, not by what we would do in their place. At least we should."

Sasuke knew she was being kind.

He thought they both knew he'd be nowhere near her level anytime soon, but then, he'd never thought that was possible, so he wasn't that disappointed.

But he did wonder about Sakura then...

"If that's all true, why has Sakura changed so much?" he said. "Isn't that what her center used to be too?"

"Not the way it's mine, but yeah, I'd say so," Shine said. "And you think it's not now?"

"Now she's angry all the time, or maybe...even she envies us for being selected for this and...maybe for making progress."

"Hmm." Shine studied him. "I didn't think you'd realize that on your own."

"So you knew. It's true, then." Sasuke looked up.

"Yeah, Sakura always has envied you two," Shine said. "But, if I had to guess, I'd say she's made more progress than Naruto has, even now. I can't get through to him the same way. I hope at least that his other friends are. He is the type who has to learn anything by getting it repeatedly beaten into his head, and even then he might not learn. Sakura is not quite as hard-headed. She may come around in the end. But as for how she treats you, isn't it just how she thinks you prefer still? You didn't like her being nice, so she's being mean--with a vengeance, I grant you, but it's still what she thinks you want."

Sasuke leaned on his hand now. "Well, it's not that. It's that sometimes I think she's serious."

"And sometimes she is. Women aren't just one thing, you know, anymore than you are. Sakura probably always had some anger under her patience with you, she just didn't show it. But she felt bad for you then too. Now that she doesn't anymore, I assume she doesn't know how to act. You don't like her admiration, so anger is her only recourse."

"And is that really it?"

"Probably not. You can be pretty infuriating." Shine got a dig in at least.

Sasuke glared at her.

She choked on a laugh. "Sorry... Why do you care anyway?"

"I...I don't know. I guess it's just gone on so long I'm starting to wonder if I'm in danger." Sasuke actually half meant that, but Shine laughed as if she knew.

"She's not going to hurt you, not really."

"I know, I guess... I mean, she could have, but she didn't seem like she really liked it," Sasuke said.

"The mast thing? Oh, that was an accident. She'd never do that to you," Shine said. "Oh, I see, you're wondering if Sakura still loves you or not."

Sasuke almost thought that was the reason...but why?

Shine studied him again. "I see...in a way it was reassuring, however little you thought it was merited, the fact that she could still feel that way, and now that you're not sure, you feel like you're not grounded in anything anymore. I guess you thought Sakura and Naruto would never really change, though you pushed them away, but realizing they are people who can change has shocked you."

That was about it.

Right? That was all there was to it.

"Or did you never dislike Sakura as much as you pretended to?" Shine was smart enough to know it wasn't just that.

"I didn't dislike her as much as I thought she was foolish," Sasuke countered. "The other part was mixed up in all my other anger. I guess now I don't care."

Shine knew that was bullcrap.

"Shouldn't she be the one to tell you how she feels? But I wouldn't blame her if she didn't, the way you stomped it flat before." She considered. "I never put much stock in her love because it seemed so shallow. Maybe it was at first, but then, people develop different feelings for a reason. Sakura and Ino might both have liked you because they're drawn to broken people; Ino because she likes to heal them and deep down she might have thought you needed that, Sakura because she can relate to the feeling of being alone and uncared for. Ino moved on when she saw there was no way she could help you. Sakura's reason is no longer as sure. Now that you're not as messed up as you were then, she may think the thing that you had in common, that she always knew deep down, even if she never put it into words, is no longer there. So she's not sure if she should still feel that way. And she's lashing out at you because she doesn't know, and she resents you changing for that, though you were right to grow, and she knows that too. So she's also mad at herself. Does that explain it?"

"It explains some of it. But if that was her actual reason, that's not a good reason to like anyone."

"It's closer to why I like you than you might realize. I mean, you have your good points, but I admit it's more because I can relate to your experiences a little bit, even if they're worse than mine," Shine countered. "But, if Sakura liked anything else about you, and that's not gone, then she'd still like it now, right? Or is that you're afraid that's all she liked about you, only the thing about you that you wish to lose."

That probably was it. Sasuke felt uneasy.

"I know I'm not Sakura's biggest fan," Shine went on, "but I'll give her more credit than that.  She must know more things about you than just that. I think she stopped you in the Chunin Exams from killing those people not just because it was scary, but because she knew it was not like you at the time to do anything so cruel. If she could feel like that, she saw something that wasn't just her own wishful thinking. That kind of distress only occurs when someone sees your true nature and knows you're not following it. If that helps. If she still sees it now, I can't tell you. You'd have to find that out for yourself."

"I don't think I understand any of this then," Sasuke said. "If Sakura did think that, then she thought better of my character than I did, then or now. I wasn't kind."

"I think you were, sometimes. Maybe you didn't think of it that way. And you could be the insufferable, precocious brat about it, but then, you were alone, and we only learn to be graceful about it by being around other people. I was just the same once, I'm sure. If you've grown a little since then, it's because you had something like that inside you already. If you stop fearing kindness so much, you would find you'd act that way more often. But nonetheless, Naruto and Sakura were the ones who saw it the most, and they probably thought that was the real you. And it's a better you to be than the monster that the others saw you as. So you choose, I guess."

"And you think that also?" Sasuke said "Though I think you understand better than anyone else just how corrupted I became?"

"I don't know your heart, Sasuke... God does, though, and if you're worth His time, you're worth mine. As I see it, I think they were right. But what I think about you will not matter if you never believe it for yourself. Self image is not all there is in life, but we will act on it and be limited by it if we let it be influenced just by our mistakes. So don't give in to that."

She got up. "I should probably get ready. We have a lot to do today. Will you be all right now?"

Sasuke sighed. "There's not much more to say about it, if that's what you mean. I never saw all this about myself before--you were right, that's what follows when you choose to follow your religion."

"I did warn you...but no worries, eventually you'll see good things too. They just take practice." She smiled.

Then she headed back upstairs.

Sasuke felt a little better, as usual. But, he wondered, what would he do when Shine was not there to talk about things with him?

* * *

Shine wondered herself.

She went into Wally's room after she'd changed into her "party attire".

He wasn't even really ready yet, but then, it took him all of 5 seconds.

"Morning, baby--hey, you look amazing," he said. "You're going all out."

"Oh, this? I don't know that it's really that fancy." Shine had just put on a green top and skirt combo that brought out the greener shade of her eyes and the rich tints of her hair, and done her makeup to compliment it, with gold-colored jewelry.

"Well, you always look like a princess, no matter what you wear." Wally was smooth.

"Careful, Casanova. If you turn on the charm too much, this party is going to turn into us trying not to embarrass the kids with our PDA." Shine somehow made that sound less miss-ish than the words normally would.

"I'm just irresistible like that, they understand." Wally made a big show of putting on his "rizz" face, in Camie's words.

"On a serious note, I'm getting worried about Sasuke," Shine said.

"What else is new? But I thought he was doing better."

"He is... That's why. I'm worried he's not ready for us to leave yet. He might do all right as long as we're here...but when we're not..."

"Hey--" Wally stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. "We're not leaving yet. We could have weeks here."

"But we really don't know, and I'm sure he's not the only one who is not ready," Shine worried. "We always leave someone in charge of continuing on our work when we go... Oscar, Pyrrha, Jaune, Winter...but all of them were ready for it, I thought. They were used to it. I don't know who it will be with the hero students when we're done there. Perhaps the ones with us now, I'd think, maybe a few others too...but here...well, even Gaara has had so much to learn doing this, and the Leaf? I don't think they're ready, Wally."

"It's not up to us, you know," Wally said. 

Shine didn't look cheered up.

Wally thought. "I mean, the only way to really get ready is to just start doing stuff and learn as you go. You can't teach this stuff in words."

"But I love explaining stuff."

She leaned on him. "We may be reaching the end of what I can do for them with just words. You're right... Maybe, you need to take the lead now."

"Me?" Wally said. "Look, Shine, I love working with them, but I'm not as good a teacher as you. I never have been. I'm fine with that. I like doing the hero stuff with them and showing them how to do that, but I don't think I could explain to them how to grow."

"But you just said explaining it isn't really what they need," Shine said. "I don't mean I'm going to stop helping them...but I think they need more than just words. Sasuke really hasn't put himself out there much. Perhaps I'm not pushing him to because I want him to be comfortable around me and not think he'd disappoint me if he fails."

"Well, he does need that," Wally said. "They all do... What would I do? Tell him to try harder?"

"Well, no one shows love-in-action better than you do, babe," Shine said. "None of them really understand that part. And...admittedly, I'm also not as good at it as you are."

"You're great at it--what do you mean? You're the most loving person I know, especially with tough cases," Wally scoffed.

"Thanks...but I think you're much kinder than I am, naturally. It shows, they've always been easier around you than me."

"Shine, you sell yourself too short." Wally shook his head.

"Even if I was, honey, we need both of us. We'd never have survived this long without your help, but you're not just our life guard--that's what I'm saying." Shine almost sounded a bit desperate.

Wally realized she wanted to know he was going to back her up. It had taken a while for him to figure out why Shine brought up problems at all, since she normally already had an answer in mind, but it turned out she was looking for support. [Tip to you gentlemen out there. That's what it is 90% of the time.]

"Okay," he said. "I'm with you then. You know it... I can see if there's anything that comes to mind, I guess. I think this party idea was a good way to help them though. I mean, they gotta learn to have a normal time together, not just crisis mode."

"Yeah...but after that...connecting with this Village is going to be hard. It's taking a lot of action and not as much feeling a connection," Shine pointed out. 

"Yeah, but honestly, Shine, you overthink things," Wally said fondly. "I mean, you're right, don't get me wrong, but you think we need to worry about all this ourselves, but I bet it'll just fall into place naturally like it always does. We'll just rely on the guidance we get from the Big Guy, and it'll work out. Remember, you can't make stuff happen faster than it will, and that's coming from me, the fastest man alive."

Shine finally cracked a smile. "I know... You're right..."

"And you and I need more time together too. We've been at this non-stop for weeks again," Wally said.

"I know...and I really do miss hanging out alone," Shine said. "But think how much less tired of each other we'll be when we're married, since we've spent so much time not experiencing getting on each other's nerves while we're engaged."

"You never get on my nerves." Wally said the right thing.

"You don't really get on mine either. And it's almost unnerving that we don't annoy each other more."

"We're just not annoyed by dumb stuff. That makes us smart." Confidently.

"It is a little annoying though that I'm all dressed up like this and you don't have flowers ready," Shine teased.

Wally raised an eyebrow. Then he disappeared at high speed and then ran back more slowly because he had flowers. "Better?"

"Yeah." Shine kissed him.

https://youtu.be/dmd0chTCV4c

["Takes A Little Time"--Amy Grant]

* * *

The teens came out of their rooms, wearing their better clothes.

"It's so nice not to be in mission gear again after so many days in it," Ino said. "It really needed to be ironed."

"Totes," Camie said. "Hey, Happy B-day."

Then she giggled.

Ino laughed too. "Happy birthday yourself, Camie."

"Happy birthday, Tenten." Camie waved at her.

Tenten gave her a weird look. "Are we taking this that seriously?"

"Girl, you have to commit to the bit," Camie said. "That's what makes it fun. Come on, we're cooking here."

"I thought Bakugo was cooking because it was a special meal," Tenten said.

"No, no, cooking means we're working on it right now, and...I think that we're doing it right?" Ino said.

"Yeah, basically that's it," Camie said. "Ino ate that, left no crumbs. Ten out of ten."

"You two are so weird." Tenten walked down the stairs.

Undaunted, Camie still wished everyone else a happy birthday, and most of them played along.

"It is nice to celebrate it," Sai said. "Even if it's a few months late. I'm going to take lots of notes on what people do on birthdays." He sat down at the dining room table.

"You're just another year older," Dabi grumbled, slinking into the room. "I'm not looking forward to being 26." [I'm turning 26 soon... Thanks, Dabi.]

"Gosh, you're old," Hanabi said. "I can't wait to be 15, 16, 17 and be really grown up."

Dabi laughed at the idea that that was growing up.

"Choji, you actually changed your outfit a little." Ino was surprised. "I didn't think you'd bother."

"I didn't want to stand out too much when you all did." Choji hadn't done that much, but he wasn't in uniform or armor, and he'd put on a more upscale jacket. He really didn't look bad.

"This is a fake birthday party--why do we need to dress up?" Shikamaru hated changing clothes.

"It's not fake. It's just practical to consolidate our birthdays into one day," Momo said. "It would really be too expensive for you to do them all on a different day with so many people."

"She just called us poor again," Temari noted.

[Lol. But to Momo it's nothing, right?

I hope this will be a fun diversion.]