C H A P T E R   24 :   F A I R Y   T A L E   G O N E   W R O N G

❝ If you're afraid of wolves, don't go to the woods. ❞

– Russian proverb

"Nowhere to run boy, run, come here right now
Here right now, here right now
There's only one thing that I wanna feel right now
Feel right now, feel right now 

You all over my skin, I'm anxious
Paint my body boy, I'll be your canvas
Don't talk to me, just show me your talent
Your talent, oh

One look and you're mine
Keep your eyes on me now
'Cause when the stars align
You might bring the beast out" 

That night I found Lewis lying down on the bench in the center of the mansion's maze. He wasn't smoking; just looking up at the stars, one arm crossed behind his head. He seemed so peaceful; I thought about turning around so as not to disturb him, but then he spoke.

"Is it better to gaze at the stars or at me?"

I kept quiet, observing how he hadn't moved or stared at me. His chest rose up and down in a steady pace; I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up sleeping here more than in his own bed. The full moon was bathing him with its untainted light; surrounded by the tall bushes, Lewis was locked on a world of his own, to which he had just invited me in.

"You're closer than the stars." I answered, walking towards him. My tone was but a whisper in the quiet of the night. It was chilly, and to warm us up Lewis made a flame erupt from his fingers when I got closer. "But sometimes you seem so far away."

"I feel far away." Lewis said, straightening himself up to make room for me. I sat beside him, watching him play with fire. I wanted to touch it, see if I got burned. Lewis noticed it and brought his fingers closer to me. Hesitantly, I made mine hover over the flame and then brought them down slightly. It was like shoving a gloved hand inside an oven.

"It doesn't... it doesn't hurt." I was amazed. "It's just warm."

"Fire is like people. Too much and it's destructive. The right dose and it's wonderful." Lewis rose his hand to his eye level and looked at me through the wavering flame. Behind it his eyes were flickering. "You're my right dose."

"You know you can come to me more often." I smiled sincerely at him.

Lewis snapped his fingers in front of my face and the flame disappeared. His smirk was a blend of banter and depth.

"I don't want to get addicted to you."

Lewis was the kind of friend that fit in your soul like a glove.

"Well, I'm healthier than cigarettes."

Lewis shoved his shoulder against mine playfully. We turned silent and I tilted my head up to the sky. Next time I was going to bring my sketchbook to capture it. It was very alluring anchoring to paper something that always moved and never stayed. That you could always see but never reach. I couldn't help but realize that if the sky was beneath us and not above us we would not crave it as much.

"I like how the sky doesn't wait for us." I broke up the silence, my ears cradled by the soft rustling of the leaves. "How it just keeps going."

"Yes." Lewis agreed. "It's like our mind. It never waits for our feet. Even when the body's trapped and immobile... the mind goes anywhere."

"Where's your mind at right now?"

Lewis smiled at me, free of scorns. I knew that smile always came with words that lit a match on my heart.

"Here. With you. Whenever you're present, my mind likes to stay. It has no reason to run away." He turned in my direction, his dark eyes scrutinizing me. "Where's yours?"

"I'm here, Lewis. I'm wondering why you don't let anyone see the real you. You shouldn't fear it. Damn it, the world should fear it even less."

Lewis shrugged. I could see he was trying to conceal his feelings.

"It's not up to me to show it. People will always see what they want to see, whether they're using the right lenses or not. I'm not someone the world can force to fit its shape. I don't want to be changed. If the world can't see me for who I am, it's because it hasn't tried hard enough. You have tried hard enough. And has it cost you anything?" His stare fell on me fiercely, challengingly, bitterly. Lewis was angry at the world. I guess in the end everyone had a reason to be angry at it.

"No." I admitted. "I saw you for free."

Lewis smirked slightly. "Well, that's only because I'm not naked yet."

I laughed and shoved his shoulder with mine. Lewis and I had a balance. Nothing was too moody, but nothing was ever that light either.

"Did I get you in trouble? With your friends?" He asked in concern.

I shook my head vehemently. It pained me that he'd think that way.

"No. They're not the judging type."

"Felicia, Bobby clearly hates me and I can't say I like his guts either."

"Bobby doesn't hate you. He holds a grudge against you only because you remind him of someone else. Don't worry. Soon enough the dust will come out of his eyes and he'll see you for you. As for the others, I don't know what they think. Well, except Bianca. She thinks you're hot."

Lewis laughed. "I think that girl thinks everyone's hot."

I smiled tenderly. It was amazing how quickly she had gained such a place in my heart. "True. Bianca has an eye for finding beauty where others don't even dare to look. So, as I said, don't worry about them. The only person that can stop me from being with you is you."

Lewis gazed at me. Then up at the stars. Then at me again. I couldn't find a difference in the way he stared at both.

"I still don't know what I did to deserve you, angel eyes."

"You didn't do anything, you didn't have to. It's not a question of deserving. Friendships are not contests and people are not prizes. Feelings are not medals we can or cannot deserve. We connect, Hothead. It's different. You have your flaws and mistakes, I have mine. And when we're talking, does it feel like any of that matters?"

He shook his head, his lips playing hesitantly with a smile.

"No. It doesn't matter at all."

"Then stop feeling lesser than me and just accept my damn feelings. Just accept yours. If the world mocks, let it. Our laughter will always sound louder."

His eyebrows were raised; his lips were still testing a smile, as if not sure how to make one. Lewis was someone that never did things easily. It might not seem like it, but he overthought. He was very serious when he finally spoke up.

"Angel eyes... can I hug you?"

I rolled my eyes friskily. "Of course you can, Hothead."

Lewis didn't waste time and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me strongly. His hug was warm, shaky and desperate; I noticed he was needing it. I wondered when had been the last time this boy had been hugged. I wondered if true hugs were rare because they could end wars. Suddenly I wanted to have arms long enough to hug the entire world. Everyone should have somebody else to hold them the way the universe held everything.

I hugged him back tightly and firmly, because Lewis was something I could see and reach. That moved and stayed.

He told me, "You're an angel with human eyes."

I told him, "You are sky at my height."

***

After some together time of stargazing, Lewis went to sleep, but I was restless that night, like something was keeping me awake, so I decided to take a walk through the woods. All around me owls called in their tuned voices. Crickets chirped in harmony. Flustering leaves and branches ranged with the cold wind. Tall trees blocked me from the world. I could no longer see the entrance of the forest nor hear the whispering inside the mansion and suddenly I wasn't afraid someone would come for me; suddenly I felt this was where I belonged.

Then my ears caught the sound of heavy gasping, rustling and crackling, as if someone out of breath was violently pushing away leafage and carelessly stepping on fallen twigs at their passage. My mind couldn't help but remember the tales; I looked up at the full moon and expected the Big Bad Wolf to come out.

The thing was; this Little Red Riding Hood would not run and hide.

All my senses sharpened, my system on alert. I let the Cat in me come out naturally, my claws rolling out with ease. This was my home. If someone planned to attack it, they would have to suffer first. There was no space for fear; I was the prey who hunted the hunter.

Then a whiff of wind brought me his familiar smell; smoke, sweat and... blood? My eyes widened, my heart quickened, panic kicked in.

He appeared on my line of sight, more tripping than running, exhausted and languished, his torn white shirt turning red. There were wounds and scratches all over his skin like someone had chiseled his body with a pair of scissors.

The Big Bad Wolf stumbled forward; Little Red Hood couldn't help but catch him with her arms, not scared of him but for him.

Our bodies collided and he had to grab firmly onto me to not collapse on the ground. I tried to support as much of his weight as possible, my heart racing; the tales didn't mention what happened when the wolf went from hunter to prey. Or when the girl looked at him and saw not a beast running, but an aching man she desperately needed to heal.

"Jeez, Logan, what... what happened?" I questioned, trying to control the shakiness of my voice because fear wouldn't help the situation at all. As far as I could tell we were alone, but my senses were currently not very reliable since all my attention was focused on him.

"Felicia..." He whispered, his eyes blinking several times to focus on me. His light brown eyes weren't scared; there was a trace of rage in there but it was fading, whereas mine was rocketing now that the initial reaction of shock had vanished. Who had dared do this to him? The sight of him all bloodied scared me to death. I didn't know... I didn't know I cared this much for him. I cared more than I should have allowed myself to. It was daunting. And anger was the only way I knew how to cover up my fears. "You shouldn't be here."

"The hell I shouldn't. I found you, didn't I?" I thought about the agitation I had been feeling all evening. It was Logan keeping me up. I was still getting stunned by how far my power could go. How itself cared enough about Logan to warn me. "You're not getting away with this, Logan. What happened? Who fucking did this to you?"

I helped him lean against a tree. He winced slightly when his back scraped the gravelly surface, his chest rising up and down frantically. Drops of sweat fell from his forehead to the ground. His shredded shirt left a good portion of his muscles visible; the cuts in his skin seemed deep. I knew they would start healing soon, but unfortunately there was nothing his power could do about the pain. I wished I could. I wished I could take away all his pain and bury my claws in it for daring to hurt him. I wished I could murder his anguish and skip the funeral.

Most of all, I wished he would share it with me.

"It seems worse than it is." He let out after regaining his breath. It was clear how hard he was trying to ignore the agony and act like he was fine. It pissed me off. He didn't have to pretend in front of me.

"If you say that you are fine I'm gonna smack you in the head. Not now but... later." I said dryly. I was always going to be brutal. Even when I cared too much. Especially then. "You look like shit and I'm pretty sure you feel shitty too."

"I hope you never try to be a nurse." Logan said faintly, and the effort made him falter and slip down a bit. I hated seeing him like this. I wondered how many guys it had taken to make Wolverine bleed. How many blows he had endured to get to this state. I went to his side and took his arm, wrapping it around my shoulders to steady him.

"Come on. We need to get you cleaned up."

"No." Logan shook his head, his voice coming out resolute and thunderous. Even in weakness he mastered strength. Wolverine could stumble, but he never fell. "No mansion. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I don't want you to see me like this."

"Shut up, Logan. There's not any side of you I can't handle." I said, because seeing him hurt hurt me. Why was he even worrying about others at this moment? Why was he so damn selfless sometimes?

Logan turned his head to face me, taken aback.

"Even the monstrous one?"

"I'm only seeing a man." His eyes locked insistently with mine. So human. "A stubborn ass man, yes, but a man nonetheless. You have an animal inside you battling the human. That doesn't make you a monster. Where it counts, Logan, you're painfully humane."

And your heart is the most humane I've ever seen, I wanted to add.

He shook his head in clear disbelief.

"You don't know the things I've done."

"I know the things you've done for me." I said, annoyed by his reluctance in letting me believe in his humanity. "There is nothing beastly about your soul. I know because all the monsters I've ever faced were very human. And none of them had a soul."

He just stared at me, speechless, breathless, mindful. I decided, given his condition, to be a little less harsh on him.

"Ok, so no mansion. The lake then." I slithered my hand around his torso, but Logan made his own hand drop to mine to stop me. I shuddered, my skin burning under his. It was like we were sharing the sun. It bounced back and forth in our fingers.

"You don't have to do this, Felicia." His voice was just above a whisper, fractured and hoarse. We stared at each other, looked into each other. "I can take care of myself. I've done it over and over again."

"I know you can. But I'm here now. Why would you want to waste my help? It's not every day you'll run into me in the woods, you know."

Logan rolled his eyes, but his lips lifted to one side effortlessly.

"Fine. Let's go."

I smiled, relieved that he had accepted my help. Slowly we made our way towards the edge of the lake, his arm around my shoulders, mine around his waist. Gosh, those muscles were heavy. Logan made no motion to speak and I didn't force him either. He sat down on the grass and I kneeled before him, leaning forward to examine his wounds.

"I'm not a professional but... it looks as if it hurts like hell."

"The wounds will heal, the pain will pass." He said simply. I couldn't help but admire him. Logan always suffered down to the last bit. He always fought until he had Death breathing on his neck. He knew he would heal but he also knew that wouldn't prevent him from agonizing and yet it never stopped him. No matter how dirty, Wolverine always got the job done. Gotta admit that tough resilience is pretty damn sexy.

"But the scars stay." I muttered under my breath. My hands grabbed the hem of my sweater and I took it off in one swift movement. Under it I was wearing a dark blue top but I didn't even shiver when the chill settled on my skin. I felt too close to a supernova to feel any cold.

"What are you doing?" Logan questioned, doubtful and I answered him by ripping off a shred of my sweater and dipping into the water.

"You were the one who didn't want to use a bathroom." I reminded him, coming closer to him to rest the soaked fabric against his shoulder. Logan didn't move with the sudden cold; instead he swallowed, his eyes away from me. I looked down: my top was low-cut and tight, firming my chest mere inches away from his. I wondered if this was the biggest reaction I would get out of him.

It angered me not knowing if I affected him as much as he affected me. It drove me mad not knowing how to deal with my feelings or even how to feel; I couldn't name the sensations he evoked on me. I just knew seeing him so close to death had awakened something in me. On the verge of losing him, I realized how I was losing myself to him.

How much it mattered to keep him breathing so I could breathe in peace.

"I could do that." Logan said, staring at my hand on his shoulder.

"You could also dance the Macarena and I'm not letting you do neither." Careful not to hurt him, I started cleaning the blood and dirt off his skin as best as I could. I could feel his defined muscles tensing up under my touch. Inside of me there was a hurricane trapped.

"You are very bossy for a student, you know that, right?"

I smirked devilishly at him. "I took after my mentor."

Logan shook his head but allowed me to do my job, his hands placed behind him on the ground to give me privileged access to his torso.

I felt like an Alice that had just slipped into Wonderland.

"So... how bad were the other guys?" I asked. I needed to talk to distract myself. My dirty mind was needing some cleansing too.

"I would tell you to ask them personally but they're all dead."

That made me smile.

"And here I was thinking I'd have to go after someone. I suppose you got rid of the bodies."

"Obviously."

I nodded in satisfaction. Ah, Logan and I... always so normal.

"I was on a solo mission." He finally explained as my sweater slid down his arms. It felt like drawing. Like the cloth was my brush and his body my canvas, and I had only water and blood to play with. If Logan were a painting, he'd be my magnum opus. "It wasn't here, don't worry. It were just some guys from my past seeking for revenge. I have loads of those. Clearly they didn't know me well enough to know that it would only end up in one way for them."

I felt relieved because the mansion wasn't in danger, but I wouldn't be totally rested until I saw Logan back on his feet. I wondered how many times he had done this in the past. How many still waited in the future.

"Fuck." I let out. The cloth in my hands was reddening too quickly, so I had to rip another one off. It wasn't fair that we were playing Strip poker and I was the only one losing. Clearly, I'm going to have to change that. Swiftly, my fingers grasped the remaining fabrics of his shirt that were getting in the way of my cleansing and tore them up, leaving him shirtless in front of me. That's better.

"You could have asked for permission." He said. I wasn't looking at him but I heard the distinctive smirk in his tone.

"You want a job well done or not?" I replied, directing all of my energy to rubbing his chest firmly. There was no way I'd let him see just how disconcerted I was. "The fucking shirt was getting in the way."

"Yeah, I'm sure it was obstructing your sight." His teasing tone did things to me. I prayed he wouldn't notice, or, at least, comment on it.

"You're all bloodied. I can barely see any muscle." I mocked.

"I'm sure you remember them from the other day." I looked up at him to find him smirking smugly. As a response, I pressed my sweater slightly harder on one of his wounds. Logan winced more than I thought he would. Apparently, he had let his guard down with me, and now he didn't know how to put it back up.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." I said sincerely. "I didn't mean to be so rough."

Yes, I am perfectly aware this conversation is sounding dirty. Please let's all move on from that point.

"You were, though." Logan declared, his mischievous tone playing with my guilt. This guy never skipped a chance to punish me. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

Then suddenly it occurred me. I could put what I had learned that day to proof. I didn't know if it would work, but it was worth a try. Logan was worth all the tries. I closed my eyes, the wet fabric on my hand resting against his pulsing heart. I tried to picture the probabilities around me, like a game I could change the pieces. I was sensing them, but every time I tried to reach them, they escaped me, like sand slipping through my fingers. A tired sigh escaped my lips with the effort.

"Felicia, what are you—"

I brought a finger to my lip to shut him up. Then I tried harder. I had to do this for him. If I could help ease his pain, I would. He had helped me several times and I would not fail him in the one time he needed me.

I wanted to take away all his pain, reverse it into the energy he always filled me with. I wanted to be his aspirin since he was always my medicine. I needed to ease his agony because that would ease mine.

Remembering Longshot's words from that day's lesson and following his instructions, I zoned out and zoomed in, knocking on the door of a world others couldn't see. I held my breath waiting for the door to open.

If it didn't, I would just have to crack a window open. Then he spoke.

"Fuck, Felicia, is it... is it you?" He asked, his voice sounding astonished, his chest rising up and down rapidly under my palms. His heart was beating frantically, like a firefly trapped on a jar. "Doing this?"

My eyes kept shut. It's working. It's actually working. I focused harder, feeling the probability fields that surrounded me shift and tremble as I played with them, like careful fingers strumming a harp. I could distinguish them vaguely in the darkness of my mind now: hazy, blurry, undulating lines like fog tatters, all around me. I let myself drift to them, imagining my fingers touching them, grabbing them, changing them. If there was even the slightest chance of minimizing Logan's pain, I wouldn't stop until I turned it into the biggest chance.

Even if it costed me.

My eyes opened up abruptly, my mouth agape to gasp for air. It felt like my lungs were being fried. The trick had exhausted me more than I expected; clearly I still had a long way to go until this became like breathing. Right now it felt more like drowning in air.

"Felicia..." Logan whispered and my fingers pressed against his chest: somewhere along the way I had dropped the cloth and my hands had grasped his skin like they needed an anchor. Like his touch was the only thing keeping me awake and preventing me from slipping away.

He instantly gripped my wrists to steady me, our breaths colliding.

"How do you feel?" I asked him, because that was what mattered.

"Alive. I could feel the pain leaving me, Felicia." His eyes were flabbergasted. "Fuck, that was... that was wicked."

I smiled weakly at him. Then I stumbled forward, and Logan grabbed me instantly, his arms wrapping around mine automatically. Like they belonged there.

"You didn't have to do this, Felicia." His voice was stern yet concerned. He turned me around slowly and let me rest my back against his chest, my head snuggling between his shoulder and neck. I allowed myself the flitting, rare moment. I felt warm in his embrace. Safe. I felt like I was a danger zone and Logan was my neutral ground. I knew it couldn't last. I couldn't drag him into the war that was my heart.

"I had to try." I argued. "You were suffering."

"And now you're drained. Why would you do that?"

I turned my head slightly to face him. I wasn't counting on the sudden proximity, and his brown eyes bored into mine brusquely.

None ever looked away.

"Are you seriously getting mad at me for helping you out?"

He kept quiet. Slowly, I felt his hands squeeze my arms lightly in appreciation. It was useless trying to control my heart anymore, it was bent on doing suicide sprints. But his wasn't going any slower, even though his breathing was now even. I could feel it tremble against me.

"I'm sorry." He said after a while. "I just didn't want you to go through this trouble. I'm not a good enough reason for you to use your power."

"Shut up, Logan." I looked forward, to the depth inside the lake. You are more than good enough. And I can't stand that. Your heart weights too much on mine. "That's my call to make."

Gathering all my willpower, I tried getting out of his embrace, but he held me back. I fell back against his hard chest like a shooting star.

"No way." Logan demanded. His voice was so close to my ear it gave me emotional chills. "Stay. You need to rest."

"I can rest outside of your arms."

"But I don't want you to. This is the least I can do after what you did for me. Can you stop being so stubborn for a goddamn second and just fucking accept it?"

I could. I could but I won't. Because my heart is a nomad and it keeps running away from what it wants. I am an escapist; I pick locks and evade alarms and crack safes. I break in and take what I want. And I never give it back. Don't you get it, Logan? I can't do that to you.

I can't steal your heart because you got ahead and stole mine. I picked your lock, broke into your arms and fell into a trap. Because they're where I want to stay. The place I want to be in. The one with no exit.

You're the theft I want lasting forever. And the one I know I need to get out the fastest. I need to close your safe, steal away nothing, shut down the alarms and just leave silently. So you'll never notice.

So I'll always wonder.

His arms pressed against mine relentlessly. I didn't want to move. Lewis was right. My body was still but everything else was on the run. Logan kept me trapped but when he touched me, my mind went everywhere.

I dared to look at him. Fuck, he was so close. I swallowed hard the desire climbing up my throat; at that moment, I could kiss him. There was no use in denying, faking or hiding it. I wanted to kiss him.

I didn't know why nor when; all I knew was my heart was falling and it was not going to land. I was Peter Pan flying away towards Neverland.

But most of all, I was a fairy tale gone wrong and there was no way I was going to drag Logan along.

"Nowhere to run boy, run, come here right now
Right now, right now
'Cause when the sun goes down, the beast comes out
Comes out, comes out

'Cause when the stars align
You might bring the beast out
One look in your mind
Keep your eyes on me
Nowhere to run boy, run, come here right now
Right now, right now" 

A/N: Song is "Beast" by Mia Martina. Sexy and fits this chapter's theme perfectly ;)

Picture is from the comics and I thought it was kinda fun to put in this chapter xD