reminder: last chapter guys!
______________________________________________

December 31st, 5:45 pm

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Happy birthday, Mona!" Alex's voice screeches from the phone.

It's like a melody.

I chuckle. "It's fine. Thanks."

"I can't believe I fucking forgot." Some accent has seeped into his voice, so it comes out more like fooking.

Alex continues, "But well, to be fair, even if I had remembered, I don't think I'd have wished you at proper 12 am, what with the time zones and everything."

Atlanta and Manchester are five hours apart, so he'd have wished me around seven in the evening yesterday, since he forgets the time differences frequently.

"It's cool, Alex. It's fine."

"So how's the party coming on?" Every year, my New Year's and birthday celebration are the same, but this year . . .

"I didn't throw one this year."

"Why?" He stretches the word so long that it feels comical to imagine his stupidly beautiful face.

"Because, well, I didn't feel like it first of all. Plus, I'm not allowed alcohol on these new meds, so what'd have been the point?"

After that day-the day that changed the course of my life as I see it now-Alex did end up breaking up with me. It was getting too draining, toxic, exhausting for him.

And now, I don't even blame him.

Now.

Back then, after he moved out, I was in a horrible state, in what Dr. Rhonda calls my nervous breakdown. I didn't eat for a full week, couldn't sleep for more than two hours, didn't show up my face at work even after their incessant calls, couldn't shower for eleven days, walked like a ghost when I rarely did use my feet. Otherwise me and my bed were the only thing I could see.

I was the one who had asked Alex to not attempt to contact me, it'd have just hurt me more. Even if he-or anyone else-had checked up on me, I wouldn't have known since I threw my phone against the wall and didn't bother fixing it.

Thirty nine days later, everything got so, so bad that I almost tied a noose. Almost.

At the last moment, in what I can only call divine intervention, I walked to the stairs, went to the parking lot, got into my car and drove up to Dr. Rhonda's at eleven at night.

"Oh," Alex says, bringing me out of my thoughts halfway, "so, um, are you okay, Mona?"

"Yes, Granny, I'm fine." I chortle. "No, seriously, I'm fine. It's just better for me to have a small celebration with Nancy and Brian." My only two friends who survived through my demolition.

I continue, "So tell me grandma, how's George?"

"Eh," I can imagine his half shrug, "still says no homo minutes after blowing me. Working on it."

This brings out a huge laugh out of me and he joins in.

I'd be lying if I said I don't love Alex anymore or that I'm happy for his life without me or his move all the way to fucking England or this budding bromance with honey-eyed George. But it is what it is and I'm happy to have him in my life even if it's from miles away via a phone.

Dr. Rhonda suggested me to contact him around mid-November when I was starting with the new prescription. She said that either I'd get a closure or we'd become friends; anything other than friendship shouldn't be on my mind.

And it turned out, he had just landed in England that day. I had joked, "Well, you despise me so much that you left not only Georgia but the whole country?" with tears in my eyes.

He had said, "It's not that. I just needed a break, I guess. And this is a good opportunity for my career. It's for eighteen months," with a smile in his voice.

And honestly now I don't even resent him for that. I mean, yes, it hurts, but I do know that he's definitely better off without me.

I hear a loud shriek from somewhere nearby and sigh, "Hey, Alex, I gotta go. We can catch up later, okay?"

"Yeah, cool. Tell me all about what's going on with Nancy and Brian."

"Okay, bye-"

"Bye."

I was about to say I love you out of habit. Of course I was.

The shriek is from Elena from next door. My dog, Lexi (when I told Alex about her, he had deadpanned, "Very subtle.") hates her as much as I do and occasionally goes into her apartment to "dirty my rug and my sofa".

I tuck the phone in my pocket, smiling to myself thinking about the lilt in Alex's voice that wasn't there when we were together. I'm happy for him and I'm proud of myself for that.

When two people end up together against all odds, against their own clashing personalities, it is definitely a happy ending. But sometimes a happy ending is also about walking away for your own good, knowing that you are going to end up hating each other if you don't get separated.

And it's about them meeting new people, loving those new people, but also about not having a birthday party and living alone for healing, with a dog and a friend on the phone who will be there if you need him.

And that is also a happy ending.
_____________________________________________

aaaaaaaand drumroll please everyone! here's the last chapter. i primarily picked up this scene from my tears where a person with depression induced anger issues was asking for forgiveness but the other person had to take care of themselves too.
that first person (whom i thought of as myself ngl) was Mona (that's why her full name is RAYmona lol) and the other person was Alex. so in three chapters i've tried to capture those nuances of emotions, that grief, those rare smiles that mean the world to each of us. i hope everyone has a great time reading this!

vote and comment all the love you got!

thanks for reading!