To help you with the pronunciation, here is how I pronounce my character's names:

Jadon: jey-don
Hiel: ha-yel
Hanani: ha-na-ni
Ida Mishal: ay-da mi-shal
Adonijah: ah-doh-nay-jah
Asiel: ey-shel

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#war3wp

Prologue

In Love

"Ikaw, Hiel? Would you wait or would you let go?" I ask and look at Hiel.

Our gazes meet and I see the answer in his eyes even though he hasn't said anything yet. Hiel looks innocent but snobbish at the same time—like a good mix of contrasting words which leaves you wondering and confused—how can a guy be innocent, kind, and snobbish all at the same time?

Despite the slight coldness and indifference of his facade, Hiel is one of the softies I know of—the reason why among my guy friends, I love and adore him the most. Hindi ko nga lang 'yon puwedeng sabihin kay Adonijah dahil t'yak na magtatampo na naman ang isang 'yon—not that I will woo him if he ever does.

"You're seriously asking him?" Tumawa nang kaunti si Asiel pero hindi ko siya pinansin dahil hinihintay ko ang sagot ni Hiel.

Although I know what his answer will be, I still want to hear it because it makes my heart flutter. Hindi dahil gusto ko si Hiel pero dahil namamangha ako sa kung anong klase ng pagmamahal ang mayro'n siya para ro'n sa babaeng gustong-gusto niya.

The idea of romance is making my heart beat fast and the idea of unrequited love seems to amaze me. I want to experience it too. To love and to be loved. I've never had one—a boyfriend. Oo, marami ang sumubok at nanligaw, but maybe I was so afraid of committing myself to someone so I ended up being an NBSB—No Boyfriend Since Birth—na parating ipinang-aasar sa akin ni Adonijah. Akala niya yata, mapipikon ako.

"I'll wait," agad na sagot ni Hiel at narinig ko ang mura ng manghang si Adonijah. My heart flutters at his answer. "Even when I see no hope, I'd wait," he adds and my heart clenches in awe.

I wish someone would wait for me too. Just like how you're willing to wait for her, Hiel.

"Aw." I pout. 

Parang gusto ko tuloy siyang yakapin. 

Among my friends, I have the softest heart for Hiel because although he seems really mature compared to Adonijah and the rest, he feels like a younger brother to me. He's kind and innocent most of the time. He's really thoughtful too. Para namin siyang bunsong kapatid kung minsan kahit na siya ang pinakamatinong kausap sa lahat. 

But really, in times when we need someone to talk to and we need someone who will just listen to us, Hiel is the first one on our contact list. Aminado kaming lahat doon. That's why although the rest of us are either snobbish, loud, difficult, cocky, and all the bad stuff, we love Hiel so much and we have formed the best circle I will ever have in this lifetime.

Well, I'd appreciate it if we'd kick Adonijah out of the circle. Kidding.

"Mangangarap ka na naman na sana may maghintay din sa 'yo," sabi ng unggoy na si Adonijah at bahagyang kumibot ang kilay ko sa iritasyon pero ayokong patulan ang sinabi niya. 

This is one of those moments that I'd wish Adonijah can miraculously shut his mouth up because he's always ruining everything. Parang bata kasi! The more you entertain the tantrums, the more he'll continue throwing one. Nakakairita.

"Another one!" I say, ready to throw another question in the air. "What if. . . a person hurts you so much. . . and leaves you? Would you still go after him or her?"

"Ida Mishal?" agad na tawag ko bago pa man magpabida si Adonijah.

"It depends on the reason," Ida Mishal says, shrugging. "If he cheats on me, I won't take him back. Trash like that needs to be recycled."

Narinig ko ang mura ni Adonijah at ang malakas niyang halakhak. "That's my girl!" aniya.

"Kung sina Asiel at Jadon, tingin ko, it will hurt their pride so much." Tumawa ako at nakita ko ang pagtingin sa akin nang seryoso nina Jadon at Asiel dahil sa pagbanggit ko sa mga pangalan nila. "Am I right?"

These two are best friends and I sometimes wonder if best friends should be somehow look alike but not at the same time—if that makes sense. Para kasing prinsipe ang dalawa—Jadon, the prince charming and Asiel, the evil prince. 

"Ayoko ng niloloko ako." Ngumisi si Asiel pero madilim ang tingin. 

The first time I met him, he gave me a total bad boy vibe, which scared me a little. But because I was friends with Jadon and Jadon, apparently, made him his best friend, I eventually became friends with Asiel too. Nasanay na ako sa dilim niya kung tumingin.

"I don't like liars too." Jadon shrugs with a cool expression on his face owning a look of approval from Asiel. "If she cheats on me, that's where it ends. I don't think I'd give her a piece of my attention anymore."

"What if you love her so much?" I ask again.

"I won't lose myself to someone who won't take care of my feelings, Hanani," Asiel says blandly before Jadon could answer the question. "I'd rather lose the girl than lose myself—like what Jadon and I believe."

Halos mapairap ako sa mantra nilang dalawa. Talaga bang kung magkaibigan, kailangan, pareho ng pinaniniwalaan?

"I'd rather find someone who loves me than stay with someone who cheats on me," ngisi ni Jadon. "I wouldn't be at peace when I'm in a relationship with a cheater."

Tumango ako. I totally get that and knowing Asiel and Jadon—slash, the two most egoistic persons I know—they value themselves so much—which I don't think is a bad thing either. After all, cheaters are so trash and it's not bad to always know your worth.

"Paano kung hindi naman cheating ang dahilan?" I ask again.

"There are circumstances when you need to try to fix things." Jadon shrugs which gained a nod of approval from me. "But when the situation makes you lose yourself, you will have to let go of the person."

"I think, it depends on the situation too," singit ni Adonijah, maayos ang naging sagot at mukhang nag-iisip din. "Kung cheating ang dahilan, tingin ko, I'd try and fix things but give up in the end."

"Idiot," ani Asiel at natawa si Adonijah.

"I'm just being realistic! Ayokong subukan pa pero pakiramdam ko, kung nando'n na ako sa situwasyon na 'yon, I'd be so lovesick, I would think I can't live without her," Adonijah says.

"If not cheating?" I urge.

"If it's not cheating, I don't think trying to fix things would be a problem," ani Adonijah at nagkibit-balikat.

I slightly thank the Heavens that he answered properly this time. Hindi ko na nga lang pinuna na sa wakas, maayos na ang sagot niya, dahil kapag pinuna ko 'yon, t'yak na gagana na naman ang kalokohan niya.

"Hiel?" I look at Hiel.

"I think, it's the same with Adonijah's. I'd still try to fix things and try to work things out," Hiel says and he smiles at me before he asks: "Ikaw, Hanani?"

I smile a little because thinking about it makes my heart flutter—which is weird because how can I be happy with the thought of someone breaking my heart and leaving me?

"If it was me, I feel like I'd also try again," I say.

"If it is cheating?" Asiel probes, looking at me with his usual dark gaze.

"I don't like cheaters," I say but didn't really give a proper answer because I'm still thinking about it.

"But you didn't answer the question," ani Adonijah. 

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"No. . ." I say, a bit hesitant because I know myself.

There's a huge possibility that I'd try again. 

Even when he hurt me—whoever he is—or cheats on me, there's a huge possibility that I'd choose to lose myself in the process of winning him back. Because I can imagine myself being madly, deeply, and crazy in love with him.

Whoever he is.