this is a post both up on my art book and my mb/s book.

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So, I have been wandering down a rabbithole in my mind and unearthed something I really wish I never thought about.

And if you are not blind and/or haven't read the title. 
It's if people actually care about me, here on the internet, of course.

This thought was born since I have posted rants just recently and when I look at all the chapters I have posted in my MB/S book, I realised it's mostly my rants that get veiwed the most.

And I cannot help but wonder.
Why? 

Is it that people just want to listen to my petty whining about unimportant matters and not even pay attention to the actual me when I'm not acting like an unfair asshat?  Is that it?

Do the friends [well, I guess I should just be calling acquaintances] I make here are just there out of pity?  Since they just leave me after weeks, rarely, just rarely, months later.  And never want to seem to interact with me ever again?

I'm glad that some remain with me [that being my friends dappled, jinx, anti(?), and vi] and excited to move in with Vi and Dappled once I have left Wattpad [possibly move onto tumblr] and reach the ripen age.

But the rest, I do not recall any recent interactions.

I refuse to name the names since I'm well aware they sometimes read my chapters of rambles and vents, most of course, mostly rants.

I mean, I don't even know anymore.

I guess it's too late to redeem yourself and say 'oh, i read your chapters/viewed your art.'

But I have a hard time believing things without evidence and I won't budge until I get the evidence.

Voting I do not care since every one can vote and not bother to ever read the damn post/chapter.

So really, it relys on commenting since I know that means you actually read the chapter and commenting something about it.

And I just want to ask you.  That is of course, if you cared enough to actually read down here [and from averaging my typical views, not so much].

"Why are you here."
"Do you really consider yourself acquaintance to me?"
"Do you even care?"

"What do you see in me to actually keep this in your libaray?"

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HOLY SHIT THAT FELT GOOD TO GET OFF MY CHEST

HAH-

this now inspired some gorey vents, that sadly includes a mild eating disorder?

I'll leave you to feel whatever you feel and continue watching Daniel Howell, AmazingPhil, Echo Gilette, and possibly edgy/depressed songs while drawing that OC I want to make.

and my butt is very numb like holy crap

this is btw, unedited so expect loads of grammar errors as I talk and ramble my stress/loneliness away

also, thanks to that one out of two person I have a huntch that actually reads this?  You are okay.

alright bye