Reviewer- therosepoetk

Everything Was Fine Until... by Parallel _ParallelLines_

So the title is very creative, right off the bat. I like how you add that "until..." which adds that spark of curiosity your story needs.

But your cover, on the other hand. I personally feel like it does not represent your book as well as it should, as it just looks a little plain and generic for such a story. I know someone designed your cover, but perhaps you can change it?

I'm not a big fan of your blurb, in the fact that I don't really understand it. While you introduce the characters and explain the plot well, the sentence structure of the blurb is still flawed.

I understand that English is not your first language, but I think that you could just make some minor edits. I love the beginning, as we are introduced to the characters at a young age, then when they are in their teens. All these characters are so great, and I love how their feelings are so strong and powerful. Amazing work.

The plot is very lighthearted and nice, and I like how you chose to incorporate wonderful Indian culture (I'm south Asian too, so I could relate). The humour was funny, especially the part where the religious grandmother drinks the vodka by accident! The emotional appeal is slightly dull - I like your story, but I think you have to find a way to make your readers stay for the finish. Maybe add more drama?

Check over your grammar a bit, maybe get an editor, just small fix ups. Overall, I adored the time skips, the varying perspectives, and all that your characters had to offer. Wonderful story Parallel!