Reviewer- therosepoetk
Oceanside is Burning by Brandon Dramafan15

The title of the book is to-the-point and very distinct, so I really like it. I think from your first page alone I believe that the title is relative to your story, so I think you've made a pretty good choice.

The cover, on the other hand, could use some work. I personally think that the cover is so generic in a way, and I feel like if you had a visual representation that was more true to the tale that you have to tell, it would be more eye-catching to your readers.

The blurb was excellent, however. I really like how you introduced all your characters really nicely in a short span of words, without giving too much details away either.

The plot was also skimmed over in a proper manner - the only tidbit of feedback that I can give right here is to perhaps replace your blurb vocabulary. The opening scene was interesting - it was mentioned that right off the bat that the school was burning, and that Rabi was watching it unfold. However, what I don't like is that it sounds more like you're "telling" than "showing". I feel like if you could rewrite the scene where Rabi shows up and she sees the building enveloped in flames, if you could add more emotion to the scene, it would be splendid. Yet, just from the prologue, I have become invested in the plot.

I want to know more about Brandon, about Kobe, and how both boys are relevant to Rabi. Your characters have potential - but I just want to see that a little more. What are their dialogues like? How do they interact with others, and even themselves? I feel like if you added more depth to all your main characters, it would really enhance your story.

The emotional appeal of your tale...well, I'm not exactly buying it. The prologue and the first chapter were just for filler, I think the actual action only starts to pick up around chapter two, where the alliance club is first formed.

Here's a tip when creating that essential "flow" that you're looking for : in each chapter, introduce a question. That way, readers will be curious about what happens next, as they need that question answered. In the same way, in a chapter, you must also answer the question that you introduced in the previous one. Now, if you could add a little bit of curious aspects to chapters that link to one another - but in juxtaposition, I love the quotes that you have at the end. It really builds up that anticipation and emotional appeal, so keep it up. In terms of grammar, I think you should check over your dialogue for some of the side characters. Just remember that just because the characters are speaking in slang, that doesn't mean your writing has to reflect that either. Spelling is a little off in some places, as well as punctuation, but nothing a few edits can't fix. But the flow is unique, your story has this great balance to it, and on a final note; I'm looking forward to reading more of your works. Absolutely great story Brandon!