Reviewer: xFall3nang3lx

A Light At The End of The Tunnel by mkandamaggi

Thank you for asking me to review your book mkandamaggi, this story actually made me do a lot of self reflections on myself, so thank you so much for that.

Cover:
Even though there may not be a lot of stuff happening in the cover, I think it’s better this way as you don’t want to overwhelm the reader with so many different things happening as some people make the choice of whether or not to read a book by it’s cover. To me it looks as though she’s gazing trying to look for something hence the connection to your title, I think you did well with the cover of your story.

Description:
Your last sentence for me personally, sounds a bit clunky to me, I think it would be better rewritten as,’ “That was until she met a man who was younger than her but yet somehow managed to change her life for the better.” Also there is a place where I think ellipsis could be used which is after the words “self pity” as it would be building up dramatic tension to the reveal of the man who made a life changing revelation on Thandi. Other than that this is still a good blurb, as you’ve chosen the right information about the book to include to intrigue the reader.

Storyline:
The story begins with a woman named Thandi who alongside her boyfriend Andrew had taken a test to find out if they had HIV or not, unfortunately for her she is positive whereas he is negative and after finding the results he leaves her and drops all contact with her, after her older sister Tasheni finds out what happened she takes Thandi back to her home to take care of her, whilst Thandi had given up on love until during her birthday party she bumps into a man who she has never met and before she could ask him for her name, he was already gone. She managed to reunite with said man 3 months later at Natasha’s wedding and after being properly introduced to each other, they spend time together, become friends and then become a couple which is when she also tells Yoo Jin that she has HIV as the only people who knew about her disease are Tasheni and her younger sister Natasha, I can honestly say that this is a promising storyline and I can’t wait to see where you go with and how you develop it as well.

Characters:
Thandi, to me I see her as a strong woman and that even though she does HIV, she’s not letting it define who she is and I love that even though she had suffered from such a heartbreak she could still manage to find love once more. Yoo Jin’s such a sweet, smart, understanding and mature guy (he’s pretty much the polar opposite of Andrew), even though Andrew left her, Yoo Jin didn’t, he made Thandi realise that yes she may have it bad, there are still other people that have even worse diseases than her. Thasli actually reminds me a lot of my own big sister, she would always do her best to take care of me, which is why she’s one of my favourites, to also add Natasha reminds me of myself that I’m scared that I might make huge mistakes that would make such a huge impact on my life. I couldn’t believe how selfish Andrew was to just walk out on Thandi especially at a time where she she would need the people who care and love her to be there for her and to be her support. I appreciate that you made Thandi and Yoo Jim’s relationship have a relationship development instead of making them a couple straightaway.

Spelling/Grammar:
In some sentences you are missing the word “I” such as in chapter 7 between the line “Thandi” and “am” in chapter 7, and in chapter 17 between “Sweetheart” and “am”, also the word “I” at the beginning of chapter 8 should’ve instead been “The”. However these are all minor mistakes and aren’t too big a deal, just make sure you proofread after you finish writing, the rest of the story was written well and there weren’t any mistakes.

Engagement of the reader:
You’ve really conveyed the emotions well in your writing, you made me feel sad when Thandi turned out to be HIV positive and also anger as well when Andrew walked out, you also made me feel happiness when  Thandi and Yoo Jin met and become a couple and more importantly you made me feel relief that Yoo Jin didn’t walk out on her like Andrew did and that she wouldn’t have to sufffer another heartbreak again, I cannot wait to see how the story continues.