Reviewer: xFall3nang3lx

Breathe Me In (Alive) by aphroditesb_tch

You couldn’t imagine how excited I was to read another book from aphroditesb_tch, if you don’t already know I’ve reviewed “My Serial Killer Best Friend” for her, which I really reccomend btw, the first chapter is really good and was a great way to start the story!!

Cover:
While it is a nice cover, I can’t help but wonder if you can do more with it for example you could have Charlotte running trying to avoid the lightning bolts whilst her sister is looking down on her but with a evil look on her face, or maybe it could be of both of them having a stare-down to give the feel of “this is it, our last fight”,  you know something like that as I feel like you could have a better cover that fits better with your story, you don’t have to of course but it’s just a suggestion from me to you.

Description:
The blurb is very well worded, reading it made me interested in the story, it’s short it’s simple you haven’t made it complicated or overdone it, I feel like instead of a comma in the line, “That must be easy, right?” I think it may be better to use ellipsis to build up the tension and as a way of kinda showing that she’s in a way doubting herself and that she’s questioning herself, seeing as literally the whole world is against her. She would probably be thinking, “I can do this can’t I?” And would need someone to reassure her that it would be ok.

Storyline:
So far the story begins with a woman named Charlotte Scandbury running away from her sister (the mother of nature) who’s throwing lightning bolts at her. Until enough was enough and she decided to fight back. I can honestly say that this is such a good story so far this storyline definitely has a lot of promise and potential these two characters are so interesting and definitely have a very deep backstory, I can’t wait until you update the story!

Characters:
Charlotte and her sister are basically opposites to each other in appearance, Charlotte has red hair whereas her sister has platinum blonde, her sister has green eyes while Charlotte has blue and even in clothing they wear the same stuff but in different colours (Charlotte has a burgundy coat on, her sister a emerald one) as like Charlotte said, “it’s like staring in a colourblind mirror.” Her sister who’s name we do not know is so intent on killing Charlotte for some reason and is apparently the fearless and intimidating one out of them, I admire Charlotte for standing up for herself and for not letting herself get scared of her sister as she wasn’t a child anymore and that she could no longer be pushed around by her sister anymore.

Grammar/Spelling:
I couldn’t find any mistakes in your story but I will say this, I like how you built up the tension, it was as if you were showing us that Charlotte was finally at her breaking point of letting her sister push her around and that she was going to stand up to her once and for all especially with the line, “Oh darling, I’ve never felt more alive.” That was such a nice way to end the chapter, I really enjoyed reading it.

Engagement of the reader:
All I can say here is when is the next update? Because I really want to find out what happens next, you left the story on such a cliffhanger, that I kinda hate you for that but I’m just joking, I just really wanna know what happens next.