Hey, guys. Sorry for the delay. My state has been hit with a super cyclone and things are really, really bad now. I'm posting from my phone, which is a pain because the app doesn't take some font and format changes and I need to redo them all over again. I couldn't edit the chapter, so, there might be typos or some errors. I do apologize. And I will try to update the next Saturday considering things are better by then

Stay safe. Take care.

My love and hugs for those who have left votes and comments!♥️ Also, I'll reply to the new comments as soon as I can.❤️

NOTE: the 'en' sound you'd found is sort of similar to 'en' in 'encore'. From Chinese novels I've read, kids seems to make this affirmative sound quite often. I find it adorable and thus included it.

Off with the read now!

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Chapter-14

YiBo used to think his son was an angel, descended from heaven, without wings. YiBo used to think his boyfriend was lying when he said Xing made a fuss about something. YiBo used to think a lot of things about his son.

YiBo did not think that anymore.

Because apparently parenting could change your world view more drastically than anything else.

And apparently his son's favourite word was 'no'.

"Do you want to eat something?"

"Noh."

"Drink this. You have to keep hydrated."

"Noh."

"Come on, you need to nap now, come on."

"NOHH!"

"How about you say no to everything I ask you to do?!" YiBo had exclaimed at some point, exasperated.

"......'Kay."

And thus, after playing all kind of toddler games for hours and making all sort of nonsensical conversation, the two now sat in front of the television, exhausted, watching a toon about a talking penguin.

Xing sat on YiBo's lap, jello candy lodged inside his mouth, YiBo's hand wrapped around his tummy protectively. Xing's eyes were wide with undivided attention, whereas YiBo couldn't focus even if his life depended on it.

Ever since the moment he had heard of that 'date', he could not concentrate on anything else. When Zhan called and asked him to spend a day with Xing, YiBo felt like he had finally accomplished something. Not only he would get to be with his son but also the fact that Zhan had thought of him eligible to take care of Xing without supervision was a big deal for him.

But now he wished this opportunity didn't come at such a cost. He didn't want to be a helping hand in Zhan's having a good date.

And who the fuck was this date? Where did it come from? For how long had he been going out? All this time? While YiBo was daydreaming about getting back together? Going so far as cancelling his sham of a marriage and breaking the contract? What the fuck!

His frustration must have manifested physically as he heard Xing yell out. He looked down to see Xing looking up at him with accusing eyes and trembling lips.

"Oh shi- did I squeeze you tight?"

Xing made an unhappy sound around his candy and turned his head towards the TV again. YiBo slacked his hold carefully, not wanting to deal with waterworks. Xing was acting cranky for a while now. And YiBo, for a few times, thought of ringing Zhan up in excuse of Xing needing his Papa or just asking for something. But he didn't follow through it as he didn't want to make things worse after their interaction earlier this day.

"Who do you think your Papa is dating?" He mumbled aloud, eyes on the screen, not really asking but Xing's little head swivelled up. YiBo looked down at him, "Hm? Do you know?"

Xing turned away, puckered his mouth, threw the candy away, then, looked at him again.

"Abbuppaddagigi Daddy!"

YiBo didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Is that so?" YiBo nodded wisely, "And what should we do to botch this up? Because we need to, otherwise..." YiBo remembered how Zhan had looked that day and felt another surge of jealousy. "Is it Talu?" He asked, jealousy intensifying, even though the first thing he had done after getting into the car was to ask Xiu Ling whether the actor was in Beijing currently. He wasn't.

Xing visibly perked up at the name, pissing YiBo off more. "Lulu?" He asked with widened eyes and looked around.

YiBo scowled, "Wow, a nickname, huh? You haven't given me any nicknames! Whose son are you, you little traitor?" He swatted at Xing's diaper clad bum grumpily.

His son tried to shrug him off and glared at him, "Battah!" Then dragged his attention away to the cartoon again.

YiBo frowned, "Batta?" Was that his pet name Xing had come up with? That didn't sound very affectionate though. He eyed the back of his son's head suspiciously.

"Oi, what does that mean? And tell me, is it Talu?"

After Xing shrieked threateningly YiBo stopped annoying him.

And then Xing said, "Daddy! XingXing poopoo!" and YiBo's world turned upside down.

XOXOXOX

Zhan didn't have high hopes when he rang YiBo's doorbell. His heart had sunk when his call went unanswered when he tried it on the way here. Since then he was preparing himself for arguments.

But nothing could have prepared him for the scene that was revealed after the door was opened. A pale faced YiBo with hair flying everywhere stood there looking desperate, while a naked from waist down Xing ran everywhere giggling like mad.

"Help me!" was the first thing that left YiBo's mouth before Zhan could even arrange his thoughts.

"What happened?" Zhan asked, quite alarmed. "What's going on here?"

"PAPAAAAAAA! PAPAPAPAAPAPAPA, POOPOOOOOO!"

Well, that explained a lot.

"I tried to wash him but he isn't standing still and there's- there's-" YiBo's face looked quite green.

Sighing and entering the house Zhan summoned his no nonsense voice. "Xing, come here."

However little he was accustomed with it, Xing knew the gravity of that voice. His impishly bright face took a halt, then, changed into a shocked one.

"Come here, Xing."

"Noh!"

"Xing."

"Daddy," he looked at the said man for help without obeying but standing still.

"You need to be cleaned, Peanut."

Evaluating his better options, Xing trotted towards his Dad, knowing well the danger would be lesser there.

But his Papa was quicker. "Come here. To me."

Xing's lower lip trembled as he looked back and forth to the two men, then, seeing no escape, stood in front of Zhan.

"Were you a being a bad boy when Daddy tried to clean you?"

Xing whimpered as his eyes slowly filled up.

"Don't cry. Bad boys don't get to-"

Zhan's eardrums shattered with the cry that left his son's mouth.

Sighing, he grabbed his son's hand, uncleaned bum and all and asked YiBo, "Where's the washroom?"

The bathroom was a mess. Water splashed everywhere; a dirty nappy was thrown in the direction of the bin which missed the target. The hand shower was rolling on the floor. He would have probably laughed had there not been a crying toddler at his disposal.

"Can you please bring me the wet wipes I packed? It's in the bag," he asked while rolling his shirt sleeves up.

YiBo looked at the still crying Xing in concern but replied with a "Sure."

"There was no need to scold him that hard. He's a baby," YiBo remarked, after bringing the wipes and handing over.

Zhan's one hand was holding his son's flailing limbs and other was busy wiping his bum. "Yes, a baby who needs to learn manners," he responded without stopping. "No matter how smitten people appear to be in front of you, no one likes a brat."

"He is two!"

"Hence he needs to learn the dos and don'ts now. What's the need of parenting after he grows a personality?"

He knew YiBo probably didn't like his answer but due to his lack of experience couldn't refute Zhan's claim. No parent wanted to see their children cry but some things were needed to be taught before it was too late. In a year Xing would go to school. Zhan didn't want to get a call in every other day for a misbehaving student. It would only mean how he had failed as a parent.

Lost in his thoughts and busy with his son, he missed when YiBo said something.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

"..........How was the date?"

Zhan's hands faltered. He had actually forgotten he had a date today. But with that reminder came all the things that happened before the said date. His back muscle stiffened up in tension.

"It was all right."

Something told Zhan that the questions would not stop there and he was right.

"How long have you been dating?"

"Can you bring the extra set of clothes? It's in the bag." Because he was not having this conversation while wiping a screaming baby in a bathroom. Hell, if it was up to him, he would not be having this conversation at all.

By the sound of YiBo's retreating footsteps that came a moment too late Zhan knew that YiBo had caught on his hedging. Well, nothing to do about it.

After finishing with Xing and cleaning the bathroom as best he could, despite YiBo's loud protests, Zhan readied to leave.

"Thank you so much for today. I know it must have been difficult keeping him-"

"It wasn't."

YiBo's eyes were boring hole onto him, such was the intensity. Zhan couldn't hold his eyes more that a fraction. He just nodded with a tight smile.

"Still. I'm sorry for bringing this up without any notice-"

"Why do I need any prior notice for spending time with my son?"

Zhan stared at him, touched by that simple statement. "No, it's- that's true. You're right," he said, with a smile, averting his eyes. "So, I'll be going now."

Xing was whining into Zhan's shoulder. At the mention of leaving, his entire body turned towards YiBo as he spread out his little arms, "DADDYYYY! UP UP! DADDY!"

YiBo was going to take him but Zhan's shook his head silently and YiBo managed by saying, "I'll see you very soon, Peanut! We'll finish the lego car, yeah?"

"NOOOOOHHH! DADDY! NOW NOW! DADDY PWAY BHOOM BHOOM!"

"That's right. We'll play vroom vroom next time! Very soon, sweetheart!"

It wasn't the response Xing was expecting. Therefore, he went back to Papa's neck after giving Daddy a betrayed, heartbroken look, resuming his whining at full force.

"You'll come by soon?" Zhan asked. He hoped it didn't sound eager, just polite.

"Yeah."

"Okay, then goodnight."

As he turned, warm fingers clamped around his wrist. He looked back with a start to see YiBo staring at him with a barely suppressed tension in his face.

"Who is he? Who are you dating?"

Zhan's eyes widened. He was no stranger to a jealous YiBo. But that same old emotion in this changed person was what shocked him.

"Why?"

"Why? What why?"

"Why do you want to know?"

YiBo's expression faltered, "That's....because..it's about Xing's future! I need to know what kind of people would be around him."

Zhan held his eyes for a silent moment before saying, "But I never asked about your fiancée."

Something changed in that handsome face.

"It's not the same."

"How so?"

When YiBo did not reply, Zhan carefully took his hand back from his clasp and left with another nod.

XOXOXOX

Xing kept throwing tantrums at the smallest things on their way back home. This was what happened when he didn't nap in the afternoon. Dealing with a screaming toddler, on top of the emotional rollercoaster that was his day, Zhan wished Xing would stop for the moment. His nerves couldn't take it anymore today.

The duo reached home, both cranky and sour and Zhan headed straight for the bath. They both needed one. Xing calmed down a bit during and his mood improved by throwing his bathing toys at Papa. Those happy giggles soothed Zhan a great deal in turn. He loved these baths; they were quite therapeutic for him.

"Really? And what did Daddy say then?" Zhan enquired after one of Xing's long monologues that mainly consisted of random vowels and consonants strung together with occasional meaningful words thrown in.

"Daddy say 'kay."

"It's Okay, not 'kay," Zhan corrected, lathering shampoo on those baby curls. Xing's head bobbed and swivelled from the motion as he played with his duckies.

"....'kay."

Zhan smiled fondly and began to wash the baby.

The peace broke when he tried to put his son to sleep after feeding him.

"NOH!"

"What no? You promised that you'll sleep after I tell you three stories. Now sleep."

"Nooooooh," Xing whined petulantly and rolled back and forth in his bed.

"XingXing-"

"Wan Daddy!"

Taken aback, Zhan repeated, "Daddy?"

"En. Wan Daddy."

"But...why? What do you want Daddy for?"

Xing glared at him with a very YiBo way, "WANDADDYWANDADDYWANDADDYWANDADDY-"

"Okay okay, quiet down! First tell me why do you need your Daddy for."

Xing kept glaring then rolled over then turned back again, "Daddy sweep."

"You want Daddy to tuck you in?"

"En."

"But you didn't nap-" Then it dawned on Zhan as to why his imp of a son asking for his other father. "You want him because he couldn't make you sleep, isn't it?"

The toddler blinked at him very innocently then repeated, "Wan Daddy. Sweep sweep."

It was another half an hour of coaxing and another two stories later that Xing was finally asleep. Heaving a bone tired sign Zhan quietly left the room. Despite the emotional exhaustion he felt oddly on edge, jittery.

He went on a date with a complete stranger and even though it had every reason to turn into a disaster, it didn't. Thanks to KyunSang, his mind replied. Despite his doubts and reluctance, he did have a good time; it was a nice change to be able to talk to an adult whom he knew would not fuss over every little thing he said. And being able to bond over kid stuffs was indeed a bonus.

It was a good date, considering Zhan's circumstances. He should have been happy.

But he wasn't. Just as always, YiBo overshadowed everything else.

The words he had said while picking Xing up had stung but that was no surprise. YiBo could be very hurtful at times. What confused him was YiBo's interest in his date. He almost seemed.........jealous. That wasn't just him misinterpreting, was he? But why would YiBo be jelous?

Zhan wasn't going to play dumb and not admit, even to himself, that he felt YiBo had residual feelings for him. But that was expected. Not only a child but they shared a history together, of love. Yes, there were fights and struggles and imbalance but they all stemmed out of a strange sense of love.

What was not expected was YiBo to actually act on it. Their interactions had improved over days but they were formally civil at best. They had separate lives that did not share many similarities. And clearly his ex boyfriend had moved on. He was all set to get married, for heaven's sake! Then why would he....?

No, that couldn't be. He must be over analyzing. Maybe it was exactly what had YiBo said- for his concern over Xing.

See, this is why you need to move on. Fast.

Rubbing the confusion off his face with both hands, Zhan unlocked his phone. Talu had texted him earlier to let him know how it went. He dialled his friend's number.

XOXOXOX

Zhan's head was vibrating.

No, wait. It was the pillow. The pillow was vibrating. Why the pillow was vibrating? Wasn't he riding a flying tree with Xing?

Wait...

Zhan's eyes squinted open, the lids felt glued with sleep. He slid his hand under the pillow and took out the device. Talu's name was on the display. Blinking at it Zhan remembered not being able to reach his friend earlier that evening.

"It's past 3. In the morning, Talu!" He groused in a sleep hoarse voice.

"And?"

"I was sleeping!" Zhan whined, still unable to open his eyes.

"But you're not sleeping now, so, it doesn't matter."

"Ugh.."

"Now tell me all the dirty, sordid details!" Talu sounded oddly excited.

Zhan opened one eye and frowned at the side wall. "Dirt-..How did you know Xing made a mess today?" That was strange. How did he know?

"Xing? Wha- THE FUCK! I wasn't talking about your spawn spray shitting everywhere or whatever he did today! What even-.. See, this is why I don't befriend people with kids. They'll drag every conversation to their kids' ass."

Clearly his friend wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Zhan reluctantly moved and sat up resting against the headboard. Damn, he was tired.

"Okay, I will make sure to convey your thoughts to your nephew, that his 'Lulu' thinks of him as a nuisance."

"The hell? I said the parents were the blockheads not the kids. And my nephew is the paragon of everything nice and wise."

"Yeah, keep him for a day and then repeat the same words."

"Yeah yeah, and what do you mean he made a mess?"

Zhan hesitated. He could predict what Talu's reaction would be and didn't want to listen to his bragging. "Xing was with YiBo today. At his house."

The other end was making a dying fish sound. Zhan waited patiently for Talu to go off.

"The hell, man! You actually took my advice! Woohoo! The other day you were ugly sobbing watching YiBo and his fiancée and now you're letting him keep Xing? That escalated quickly."

"I did not sob! What crap are you spewing? And whose fault is that that I needed to leave Xing with him? Because I needed to go meet that friend of yours."

" 'that friend of yours' huh? So, I'm guessing things didn't go as well at your end?"

"No, it's not," Zhan explained after a tired exhale. "Actually, it went surprisingly well on my end but can't say the same for KyunSang."

"Why? Something happened?"

"I almost had a panic attack."

"What? Shit. He didn't mention anything! You all right now? Did you call your therapist?" Talu's laidback attitude changed within a blink.

"What do you mean? Have you talked to KyunSang already?"

"Yeah, he called and-"

"And he didn't tell you?"

"No, nothing. He only gushed about how nice you were and what a pleasant time he had and blah blah blah."

That surprised Zhan. Instead of cringing or ridiculing, KyunSang actually tried to retain Zhan's modesty even in front of his best friend. So, the act of understanding the guy showed was not just on the surface level. "I was tensed from the beginning and when he asked about Xing's other father it triggered."

"Shit, Zhan-"

"But he handled the situation really well! He gave me space and eased me through it. It was...It was something I really didn't expect but appreciated greatly."

"...........Wow! He did that? I mean...I knew the chap was nice but that was..."

"Yeah. He even bought a gift for Xing."

"That bastard! He's going all out to impress you! Even bribing my Godson!"

A small, shy smile appeared on Zhan's face. It was nice to be felt worthy. "It's nothing like that. He's just a good person, I think. He also has a niece whom he adores."

"Well, he doesn't give me gifts while being nice! And there you go! You two have the greatest thing in common. Your love for babies. Yuck"

Zhan gave a chuckle and shook his head at his friend's typical antics.

"Sooooo....what now? You're gonna meet him again? Or...." Talu asked.

"He'll be returning soon and asked me if we could meet before that."

"And do you want to?"

Zhan looked out the window. The almost translucent curtain emphasizing faint moonlight. Did he want to? The feeling was not as strong as a 'want' but he realized he would not be averse to it. Spending time with someone that did not make his chest tight, being the focal point of an attention that did not make him squirm but rather relaxed him had its own allure. So, maybe... "Maybe. Haven't decided yet but....maybe I will."

Talu was quite for a moment, then, said, "I am really happy to hear you actively wanting to meet someone, you know. About time you think of yourself."

"I have always thought about myself, Talu-"

"Don't. Don't start with that again."

"It's not right to put all the blame on him either."

"I'm not putting everything on his head. You did him wrong, you really did but that does not nullify the things he did. And putting all that aside, you need to move on. You can't stay still and let everyone around you pass by. It's not good for your health."

"I know," Zhan said quietly, eyes still on the flowing curtain, "but how can I forget him, Talu?"

"You don't need to. He will always be a part of your life, more so now than ever because there's a child between you two. But watching him settle down while you keep pining after him will not help with anything." There was a loaded pause before Talu spoke again, "Look, I am not saying that you should date KyunSang or just force yourself to move on. I know it doesn't work like that. But Zhan....you need someone to love you too."

"................And that someone won't be YiBo ever again, will it?"

"Why not ask him? Why not talk to him directly about that? I have told you so many times before. Maybe your getting back with him is just a talk away! And if nothing else, you'll at least have some closure."

Zhan didn't answer for a long while. The places where the curtain rolled and folded in the breeze became dark momentarily. "Have you seen them together? They look beautiful. He looks happy while with her. And....I'm tired, Talu. What will it bring now telling him the things I should have told long ago. It will only put him into an awkward position."

"Or you two might get your closure. That's important too, yeah?"

"Every time we talk we end up arguing. I'm tired."

They both went quiet.

"He was asking about who was my date, how long was I dating-"

"He did what?! That little shit!"

"Yeah. Said it was for Xing's sake. As if I would bring just anyone into Xing's life. He doesn't trust me at all."

"Dude. Either you both are numbnuts or you've repressed yourself for so long that you can't seem to step out of your denial zone."

"What do you mean?"

"Do I really need to spell it out?"

Did he really? Zhan didn't want him to. He really didn't want to hear aloud what his heart was whispering like a traitor. Hearing it from someone else would only make it confirm, which Zhan could not afford. He drastically changed the topic.

"KyunSang was asking about my job. He was looking for a company to invest. I didn't tell him about Yiling. Should I?"

Talu took the change in stride and said, "Only if you want to. Yeah, he was talking about expanding his business here and he already knows about my part in Yiling. You can discuss things with him neutrally as well. Even if you disclose your professional identity I don't think the guy would run off to the media the next moment. And even if things don't work out between you two romantically, you can gain a friend and a business partner in the process. It's a win win, I think."

"Hmm...you do have a point-"

"I always do."

"And modest too."

"What can I say, my charms are irresistible."

"Haha, so not funny. How is the shoot going?"

"Meh. Sucky script, suckier co-actors. I can't wait for it to wrap up. Oh that reminds me, I'm sleepy. Bye."

"You selfish prick! Wasn't I sleepy?"

"Who told you to receive my call?"

"Would you have stopped if I didn't?"

"That's not my problem. Deal with your own shit. Bye. And give that bratty godson of mine a hug in the morning for giving that little shit hell."

"How on earth did you know?!"

"Darling, that spawn has YiBo's gene. Of course, he's gonna be a pain in the ass at times!"

"Ugh...go to sleep already."

"Oooh, so touchy."

They exchanged some more endearing profanities before hanging up. Sleep was long gone. After dithering, he got off the bed to bring Xing here. Maybe the warm, calming presence of a baby would help him pass the night without any wayward thoughts.

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