Update time. But before that-

I know most of you skip over these notes but I still need to say some things. A popular Indian actor committed suicide due to depression. He was only 34 with one of the sunniest smiles I have ever seen. He died at the peak of his career, at the prime of his life. His name was Sushant Singh Rajput. I'm not a movie buff and I'd be straight out lying if I said I watched his movies but this accident has hit me hard on a deeper, personal level. His notes to his mother whom he had lost at an young age, his last post to his mother resonated with me. I could see myself in his sorrows. I hear people say suicide is not the solution, not the way out; that it's an act of cowardice. Let me tell you something, it's one of the hardest things to leave everything behind voluntarily, your life, your dreams, your hopes, everything. One of the saddest things to feel you won't ever be rescued; that there is noone that can and will save you. And people who choose to die are not cowards but cornered. It takes incomparable amount of pain to embrace death over life.

This has hit me hard also because I am writing a story about a celebrity who is fighting depression, mental health issues. When I started this story, my purpose was to represent all the people suffer from this and it's heavy because writing Zhan is facing some of my demons! And even if it's 2020, people choose to be ignorant about mental health. My request is to try to be more thoughtful while throwing comments like, it's selfish or it's just a phase or 'get over with it already' because maybe a dear one is suffering and listening to you will only push them more towards the edge.

Through the years, so many people have told me to talk to them when I feel low. In the past I was naïve and thought they really meant what they promised. But the moment I started to open up, they would say things like "don't be sad", "things gonna look up soon", "think about the less privileged", "there are people suffering way more than you". After that I couldn't utter a word. As a result, now I can't open up even if I try. Even if I'm dying and someone asks me how am I, I'd smile and say I'm totally fine. This is the damage all the inconsiderate "help" has done to me.

If you want to approach someone suffering, don't start with, "don't be sad; it's gonna be okay". Instead, say, "tell me what is upsetting you". And when that person starts to talk, let them. However illogical their pain may seem to you, remember for them it's excruciating enough to kill them slowly. We feel guilty enough for being alive like a failure. We feel like a burden to the people around us, to this planet. Don't make things unbearable by saying there are people who are more in pain than us. Because we know! We know how inconsequential our problems are compared to the bigger issues but that does nothing to lessen our sufferings. Try to understand that our minds are literally killing us. We are dying a slow, painful death emotionally. If you can't be the cure, don't be the catalyst either. Fighting your own self, fighting your own mind is unimaginably terrifying. And it's incredibly lonely. All I ask for you to be more considerate, open and understanding towards a fellow human being. Don't throw careless words around because someone is always listening and your words might be the deciding factor for them.

And to those who are in pain, take this from a survivor: love yourself. Accept your flaws and take life as a challenge. Don't let it beat you. You will fall and get hurt, be exhausted; you will bleed but laugh at life. You will cry yourself to sleep every night but wake up the next day to mock the troubles by standing tall. You will be alone, you will be misjudged but be your own best friend, biggest strength. If there is none, there is still you. Try to do at least one thing every day that makes you smile. Make a bucket list. I won't tell you to hang on as long as you can. Instead, live as long as it takes to check off all the things in that list. Succeeding is not the only meaning of life. Don't compete. Don't let others set your value. Stand in front of a mirror and say, "I'm strong. I'm stubborn. I'm the best version of me. I will survive." It is scary and you don't have to be courageous all the time. Just try, that's all I ask.

The fact that most people skip these notes tells a lot about our society at large.

About this chapter, Zhan is buckling up.

****************

Chapter- 18

Zhan fidgeted, sitting alone in the restaurant. KyunSang was running late for a few minutes and he felt awkward sitting here alone, twiddling his thumbs. He had chosen an overtly pricey restaurant this time only for the lesser amount of clientele. It made him feel safe where people were few.

He was nervous, to say the least. He still had no idea how to broach the subject to the other man without sounding extremely rude or patronizing. Moreover, earlier today, when he went to drop Xing to YiBo's house, his ex seemed supportive to the point of shocking Zhan. It threw him completely off kilter. Something felt odd about this enthusiastic YiBo, maybe because things were pretty stilted between them after that outburst Zhan had over that phone conversation. However, Zhan did not get to think of the matter anymore as KyunSang came in, escorted by a server, who showed him the table.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. There was some emergency last minute paper work," he explained while removing his long coat and sitting down opposite him.

"That's perfectly all right. You weren't even that late. Don't worry about it," Zhan assured him and pushed the second glass of water towards him.

"If you say so," KyunSang took a sip, "as long as you're not mad or anything."

"I'm not. Don't think about it."

KyunSang then looked around with raised brows and a smile. "You really chose generously this time. I'm impressed."

Zhan smiled. "Well, what can I say, I live to serve," he joked. Something about this man helped him ease up the tension.

"So, how's life been?"

"With a toddler and a job, it's never boring, that much I can say."

"He sounds like a handful!"

"He's more than that. Downright terror at times."

They both chuckled.

"And how have you been?" KyunSang asked and it sounded more than a generic question. As if he actually wanted to know.

The nicer this guy was to him the more difficult it became for Zhan to tell him what he intended to tell. "I'm all right. Been busy with work lately but it's better when I'm working."

"That's wonderful," KyunSang responded with genuine happiness, "Are you working on a new project? Freelancing?"

Zhan hesitated. The time of truth had come. "Actually there's something I didn't tell you before," he spoke slowly, gauging KyunSang's expressions.

"Uh oh, that sounds ominous. Are you a secret assassin or a serial killer or something? Is that your job?"

"What? No! What?" Zhan broke out in a surprised laughter.

"Then it's all right. You're good. Because serial killers are complete off the chart for me."

Zhan stared at him with amused disbelief and shook his head, "Oh my god. You're unbelievable!"

"I live to serve."

"Clever."

"Always. So, what's that you wanted to tell me?"

Zhan then realized just what exactly KyunSang was trying to do. He was trying to make Zhan comfortable sensing that he was stressing out.

It surprised him. This level of understanding, he really never received it from anyone, let alone from a relatively new acquaintance. It also saddened him to think this might be the last time Zhan would ever meet or speak to this considerate and kind person.

"I haven't been completely honest about my job," Zhan said haltingly.

KyunSang didn't react except for raising his brows a bit, "Okay, all right."

"Erm...you know Yiling Fashion House? That clothing brand?"

"Yes, of course, that's a popular name in- wait," KyunSang stopped as if understanding struck him, "You work there? I know that Talu is involved with the brand."

"In a way, you can say that, yeah," Zhan bit his lip. "...Um...the thing is," this was so awkward, he scratched his neck embarrassingly, "Yiling is kind of...um...my company."

KyunSang blinked at him with still raised brows, which had hitched up a notch. "Your com- excuse me but your as in yours? As in you're the owner?"

"Err...yeah..I'm. I own Yiling."

"Holy shit!" KyunSang's large frame leaned back with a flop; surprised shock written all over his face. "Shut up! Are you kidding me?"

Zhan felt awful, "I know and I'm sorry for not telling you before but I do have my reasons."

But KyunSang didn't seem to be listening. "Do you mean to tell that I was on a blind date with the famous and mysterious Yiling Patriarch? And didn't know about it?!"

Zhan hated that name. Too dramatic and not at all gelled well with his self image. But unfortunately media loved drama. He smiled at the man uncertainly, "I'm sorry."

"Why? I'm not! I mean that's great!"

"It is?" That caught him in a genuine surprise.

"Of course!"KyunSang affirmed enthusiastically then leaned forward, arms resting on the table, "This might sound very prejudiced and to some extent I guess I am but I am not really into dating celebrities. I mean don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them as individuals but the limelight, the attention that come with them, I want to avoid that." Then he looked sheepish, "I'm sorry if that came out as harsh. I didn't mean it."

"No, absolutely not. That's your choice. Your dating preference is entirely your own. As long as you're not condemning others or being insulting, it should not be anyone's business." Zhan assured him firmly. "And to be honest, I don't like all that attention that's part and parcel with fame either. Which is why I like to keep myself in the shadows."

"And you excel in it!"

"All thanks to my assistant and Talu."

"So Talu is involved..." He trailed of questioningly.

"Shareholder, brand ambassador, the person that helped me with the start up."

"Wow. That's a lot of help. He is indeed a good friend."

"He is. The best one I could ask for," Zhan agreed wholeheartedly. "But you're not mad at me, are you?"

"What do you think, hm?" KyunSang wiggled his brows then broke into one of his warm smiles, "Of course, I'm not mad. Why would I be? It's your secret to keep. And I'm glad that I didn't know before or I might have let it pass and missed the chance of knowing you. It's just- it seems unreal still. There are so many rumours about you and all this while that enigmatic Yiling Patriarch was just an ordinary shy guy with an amazing kid!"

Is this guy even real? The more KyunSang talked the more impressed Zhan was with him, which in turn made him sad thinking what he would have to tell him later.

"You know it actually made things a lot easier for me," KyunSang was saying.

"Easier? What things?"

"Remember I told you about wanting to expand my business here also? I was looking for somewhere to invest and what can be better than your company?!"

Zhan indeed remembered that conversation from their previous date. Even Talu had mentioned something similar. Though he did not know how much eager KyunSang would still be later but the prospect looked good. "Are you sure? I mean, our brand is not that old in the market, although it's doing quite well. What I'm saying is investing in a relatively new company- I mean, I hope you won't be considering the deal based on..." he didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"Based on what?" KyunSang asked, what Zhan perceived, in a teasing tone.

And Zhan felt embarrassed, "Based on our friendship. You, Talu, me." He made sure to put Talu's name in between to omit any kind of insinuation.

"And what if it is?" KyunSang asked in all seriousness.

Zhan fumbled for a moment. "Well...you shouldn't- shouldn't mix your personal and professional lives together."

KyunSang blinked at him with squinty eyes, "Mr. Xiao, are you telling me that you fall into my 'personal life' category?"

Zhan was so taken aback by that question that not even a sound came out of his gaping mouth for a moment. "That- it's- no- I-"

And then KyunSang broke into a giggle and Zhan's heart kick started again.

"Oh my god!" He exclaimed covering his heated face with a hand, "You're evil!"

"I couldn't help it, I'm sorry! Your face...Hahahaha" KyunSang laughingly said.

"That was not funny!"

"Was too!"

It was another minute or two before these two adults resumed their adulting.

"Jokes apart, though, I think this is brilliant. If I make a deal with your company I wouldn't have to worry about hidden terms or violations of contract or some such rot, which will be a great burden off my shoulder."

"Why? Shouldn't you be on constant vigilance while it comes to business deals?" Zhan was astonished. The little he had learnt from his limited experience was that one needed to be on all time alert while making deals.

"Not if I trust the people I'm making the deals with."

It took a moment for Zhan to grasp the hint behind those words. "What?"

"What?"

"You said people you trusted....you trust me?"

KyunSang gave him a confused smile, "Of course, I trust you. Why would I say that if I didn't?"

Zhan didn't know how was he supposed to react. Trust was not just a word for him. It was a judgement. A judgement that had shaped the way of his life for the last few years. His life was changed, self worth and identity were questioned because of this very word. The person whom he thought would trust him most in this entire world didn't do it in the least. And here was this foreign man who had known him only for a few days and whom Zhan was about to reject, put his trust on him enough to make financial decision only based on his association.

Some might argue that saying something for the sake of impressing didn't cost much but for someone like Zhan and what he had been through because of trust issues, even if those words did not have anything other than face value, it was a big deal for him.

It made him surprised. It made him sad.

"Thank you. I didn't...expect that. I mean to say that...that you've known me for such a short time."

"Mmm," KyunSang nodded thoughtfully, "true. Trust is indeed something that has to be gradually built. But," he gave a secretive smile, "trust me when I say I have dealt with enough people to have an idea whom I can bestow my trust upon and on whom not."

Not habituated being on the receiving end of compliment, Zhan gave an awkward smile, "Thank you but you shouldn't take hasty decisions, that's all."

"I'm not. Don't worry. Anyway, tell me more about your work now that it has gotten more exciting!"

"Nothing is different from what I've told you so far-"

Zhan's phone started to vibrate in his trouser pocket. After hesitating for a bit, he took it out. YiBo's name was on the display.

"Excuse me," he apologized, "but I have to take this."

"Certainly."

Zhan thought of going outside the isle but the idea of walking out while all the patrons' eyes would be on him made him take the call while sitting there. He slightly moved sideways and received it.

"Hello? Is Xing all right?"

"Uh- yes, he's all right. Nothing's wrong. Sorry if I alarmed you," YiBo spoke in a hurry, as if to justify his calling.

The relief Zhan felt was immense. "That's okay, is there anything..."

"Oh yeah..um..I just wanted to ask if I should feed him the mashed potato before the carrot puree or after."

Zhan blinked slowly, processing the words. Then he looked at KyunSang, who politely checking his own phone in order to give Zhan an illusion of privacy.

"Erm...that's his lunch, the entire thing. There's no particular order. You can feed whichever first." Why would anyone even think of that? Because Zhan clearly remembered he packed the food together, labelling as lunch.

"Oh, I see! Okay, I'll do that." YiBo sounded quite sincere. "Sorry for calling you in the middle. Hope I didn't interrupt anything important?"

"It's all right, we were just talking," Zhan assured.

"Thanks...um..so, how is it going?"

There it was again. YiBo's odd curiosity about Zhan's date. It threw Zhan off every time, making him uneasy.

"Yes, it's going fine. Is there anything else you need help with?"

"Oh no, nothing else. Sorry for keeping you away. I'm hanging up now. Bye."

"Yeah, bye."

He stared at the dark screen after disconnecting the call, his previous light mood disappearing. This happened every time. Whenever he tried to distract and distance himself from his ex boyfriend, YiBo would be there, ditching his every effort, overshadowing everything else in Zhan's life with his presence. He heaved a sigh and joined the conversation with KyunSang again, who only asked him if everything was all right and nothing else. This man certainly knew his social etiquette.

As the time passed, Zhan felt torn. In one hand he really didn't want to ruin this light mood. He was talking more than usual, he was feeling light, having a good time. On the other, every time he laughed or KyunSang smiled at something he said, Zhan wondered whether this would be considered leading the man on, which pressured him to let the man know what he decided to tell him.

Only that he did not know how to bring the topic up.

KyunSang was sharing some of his schooldays anecdotes which Zhan found very entertaining.

"..And then I punched him! Right on the nose! Straight on."

"No way! You did not!"

"I did!"

"I don't believe you. You don't seem like a violent person."

"I'm not violent. But hey, I was seventeen and this body is not just for the show, you know?"

"Well, pardon me for not taking you for someone who goes around beating up people."

"Not people but bullies. That jerk was a bully through and through."

"Then what happened? He backed off?"

But Zhan didn't get the answer because he got a face time request instead. From YiBo. He was shocked to say the least. It was not the first time that YiBo video called but the other times it was only for Xing. And what on earth made that man face timing him while he's on a date?!

"Um," eyes still on the screen Zhan said, "I need to take this. I'm so sorry." He apologized earnestly.

"Not a problem. Go ahead."

This time Zhan got up and went outside the isle to find a secluded corner.

The first thing that came into view after receiving the call was two huge innocent eyes of Xing that went even bigger when they spotted Zhan. And the camera went black back and forth because he was trying to grab his Papa over the screen.

"PAPAAAAH! PAPAPAPAPA! Hewooo Papa!"

"Hey, baby! Papa is here, love. What happened?"

There were some movements when everything went blurry, then, YiBo came to view.

"Hi."

"Hey," Zhan greeted back, still very confused because Xing seemed all right.

"I'm so sorry for keep bothering you like this but Xing was really getting upset and wanted to see you.

Hearing it Zhan focussed on Xing who was sitting on YiBo's lap like a good boy, hugging his favourite Dragon. That was strange. Because Zhan knew how his son looked post a tantrum and that was not his upset look.

Then he shifted his attention on YiBo, who was explaining how he really didn't want to call but to pacify their son he had to.

Zhan immediately knew YiBo was fibbing. That was a complete Bs he was spouting out. What the hell was going on?

But he could not tell that to YiBo. So, instead he asked, "What had upset him? He's doesn't usually act like this." Because Xing was habituated without being with his Papa during daytime.

"He, uh, he was playing and..uh..and I was on a phone call. He must have felt...left out, I guess."

Yeah, definitely fibbing. "Okay," he nodded then addressed his son who was waving at him enthusiastically. "Hey, love. Are you okay? Are you having fun with Dragon?"

"Dagon! Papa, Dagon! XingXing Daddy pway. Eat toco. XingXing good. Ai-aitti bupbup woooo! An noh." He shook his head vigorously.

"Is that right? That's my good boy! XingXing is very good but don't annoy Daddy too much, okay?"

" 'kay 'kay!"

"Papa will be there in a few hours. Love you, sweetheart!"

"Lublub, Papa!" And he threw messy flying kisses at the camera.

Zhan's heart melted away.

Then only YiBo was on the screen. "I hope he is happy now."

"Yeah, hope so."

"And sorry for-"

"Don't worry about it. Anything for Xing."

YiBo nodded and stared at him for a couple of seconds. "You look good."

That came out of nowhere and was so shocking that the "What?" slipped out of Zhan before he could realize.

"I said you look good. Really good."

What the hell is going on?! Zhan balked at him before gathering himself up. He did not know what was up with his ex but this made Zhan uneasy. They were not on compliment sharing terms yet and he did not know how to react to that.

"Oh-uh- thanks. I should go now. I mean, he's been waiting for a while.."

"Of course. Don't let me keep you away anymore. Enjoy your date and...yeah."

"Okay. Uh, bye then.

"Yeah."

Zhan had to take long and deep breaths to calm his erratically beating heart. Did that call really happen? Did YiBo really....?

Things were awkward and distant when they interacted while dropping Xing at YiBo's house. From there to just randomly YiBo complimenting his looks.... Zhan had a feeling of emotional whiplash!

Long and deep. Long and deep.

Once he got his bearing back, he smoothened his clothes and went back to their booth.

Heart confused and resolute at the same time. For very different reasons.

KyunSang was absently forking his food, visibly bored. Zhan felt awful.

"I'm extremely for taking this long."

"That's all right. Is there any problem? Everything okay?"

"It's-" Zhan realized he would not find a better opportunity to say the things he planned to say than this. "Actually, my son is with my ex today and apparently he was missing me. So, they video called."

"Ah! I understand. It's a nice feeling though, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"To be missed by kids, especially if they are yours?"

"It is," a smile spread across Zhan's face as he agreed, mind going back to Xing. "It really is."

"I know," KyunSang nodded, "I mean I'm not a parent but when I hear my nice is missing me or tells me that she wants to see me, it feels really amazing."

Zhan looked at that handsome face and mentally admired his love for his niece. Only a parent could understand the feeling. Zhan knew he would make a great father someday.

"Anyway, as I'm leaving tomorrow-"

"KyunSang?"

The man looked startled to be cut off abruptly. "Yes?"

"There's something else I need to tell you."

"Oh boy! You must be a serial killer. I knew it!" He joked.

But Zhan could not join in this time. His stomach was in knots. "This might come out as really offensive and by the end you would probably not feel comfortable to talk to me at all but I really need you to know this or my conscience won't leave me in peace."

"Okay, all right. I'm listening," within a blink KyunSang became serious and attentive giving Zhan the chance to elaborate.

With an exhale and downcast eyes Zhan started, "Talu had advised me to start dating before, so, when he did the same this time I didn't think he would actively arrange one for me. When you called me it was a surprise for me, as I had told you at that time." He looked up at KyunSang, who nodded in affirmative, then averted his eyes again, looking at the table top. "After we talked over phone I thought you were a good person, a very decent man. Meeting you the previous day that thought only got confirmed."

"I'm glad," KyunSang softly said, without being interruptive.

"But the thing is...KyunSang, when I met you I was not looking for a relationship. I'm still not. And please, please, know that it's nothing personal against you or anything regarding you. It's that......I'm not mentally or emotionally ready yet. And I don't want to mislead you. I know how awfully presumptuous it sounds and I'm not implying that you're interested in me...romantically or otherwise, but if things turn that way the last thing I want is to hurt you."

"Therefore, what do you suggest?" Despite what Zhan just told him, KyunSang looked composed and at ease as ever.

Zhan felt anything but composed. He was sweating despite the conditioned air inside the restaurant. "Maybe...maybe you should not keep in touch with me. I'm not in a stable condition and I've nothing to offer you. I fear that I'll end up hurting you."

As Zhan finished, the man kept staring at him, when nothing else came he asked, "Is that all?" Seeing Zhan's nod he chuckled slightly, "How interesting."

Taken aback, as not at all expecting that reaction, Zhan asked, "What do you mean?"

Instead of answering KyunSang asked him something else. "If you can excuse my prying, for this time only, may I ask if your reluctance is related to Xing's other father? And this is not for judging you or anything. I am genuinely curious."

Zhan debated for a quick while whether to tell him the truth or not, then deciding to go with it. "Yes, it is." He answered, then, looked away, feeling ashamed. "It's been a long time since we separated and he has his own life now, I do too but...." he cleared his throat, emotions clogging it up, "but I haven't been able to move on completely. I'm trying," he said earnestly, "I really am but unless the process is complete I don't want to start anything new. And using one relationship to forget another is something I won't ever do. It's not only damaging but morally incorrect as well."

"I agree with you on that. Rebound relationships rarely work out," KyunSang agreed.

Nodding eagerly that his thoughts had been reciprocated Zhan said, "Which is why I think it's best for us not to be in touch."

KyunSang gave a contemplative nod, "Hmm. So, you're not open to the idea of keeping a friendship? Even if it's only normal talking is all what we do?"

"No, that's not it!" Zhan protested, realizing that the other man was misinterpreting. "I am not against talking to you. You're genuinely one of the nicest persons I've ever met and it's surprisingly easy for me to talk to you. As I said it is nothing personal against you. It's just...."

"Yes?"

"It's that I don't want you to waste your time on something futile. On...me. I'm not worth your effort. And I'm assuming things wildly here but if you- if you're looking for- um- a relationship, I may never return your feelings." This was so embarrassing and awkward, Zhan wanted to slid down the chair and hide under the table. His throat felt scratchy, feet cold.

"I see." KyunSang fell silent and looked deep in thought. When he spoke up, thankfully he did not sound angry or upset. "You should know that I really appreciate your honesty. You could have chose not to inform me all this. I would have gone back home and you could have just blocked my number and severed all connection. But the fact that you took the effort to clarify things to me, going as far as to think about my well being and telling me the truth, even if it's making you visibly uncomfortable," he gave a pointed look, "it's took my respect for you a notch above. I genuinely appreciate it."

Zhan felt relief washed over him.

"But-" KyunSang interjected and Zhan's relief was short lived.

"Zhan, as well as your intentions are, aren't you taking decisions for me here? I absolutely believe that you did what you thought would be the best for me but deciding that I should stop talking or seeing you for my sake is actually deciding things for me. And I get it, I really do. You're probably right and I might end up hurting but Zhan, you have to let others experience the consequences of their decisions. Because that's what adult life is about. We mess things up, we get them sorted. All you can do is to tell others your opinion and warn them to watch out. But if someone still wants to proceed after that then that's their choice. You won't have to feel guilty for that at all. You cannot be responsible for others' actions when they know well what they are doing."

Zhan listened and took it all in. He wanted to protest, wanted to say that he was not making decisions for others but his conscience told him that that's exactly what he was doing; exactly what he had done before. And look where it took him.

"I'm sorry," was all he could utter.

"No! No, please, don't do that!" KyunSang leaned forward to emphasize his words. "There is nothing to apologize for. What you are trying to do, it takes an incredibly pure and beautiful heart to prioritize others before yourself. I am telling you once again that I really appreciate what you did. This is not a dressing down. I am not picking out your flaws. What I am saying is that if you're willing to form a friendship with me, even a business partnership, and I get my hopes and eventually get heartbroken, that will not be your fault. You don't have to take responsibility. Do you understand what am I trying to say?"

"I do...yes."

"Good. Because to be honest, I guessed it as much. After talking to you on the first date, I could tell that dating was not your forte, nor were you looking for a relationship."

That new information puzzled Zhan. "Then why did you continue to...you know, talk to me?"

"Why not?" The man gave an incredulous laugh, "Please, tell me you don't think of me as some hormone crazed teenager who's desperate for a boyfriend! Because that's remotely not who I am."

"N-no, of course not!" Zhan denied with a flaming face.

"Oh my god! You did! You thought so!"

"I did not!"

The guy gave a hearty laugh. "It's so much fun to tease you. Anyway, jokes apart, I kept talking to you because you're a wonderful person to talk to. Why does it have to be only romantic intentions? Can't a person keep wanting to be with someone just for the happiness the company brings it to them? That being said, I won't deny that I do like you. No, it's not on a level where I'd go throw myself off a bridge if things don't progress between us."

Despite himself an exasperated laugh slipped out of Zhan.

KyunSang retuned it jovially, "So, do you mind if I stick around long enough while you get yourself sorted?"

Zhan took a moment to respond, still fearing of hurting the other person. "If that's what you want to."

"I do. And I want to know something honestly as well. Would you feel uneasy talking to me after today? Because your feelings are important just as much."

Zhan looked at this man. A foreigner, a stranger, and realized with a jolt that out of anything, 'unease' was not something he felt about this man. So, he answered him honestly, "No, I don't think so."

"Because if you do you can tell him off immediately, all right?"

"Okay."

"Good. I'm glad that we had this conversation. I'm gonna keep bothering you then."

"Ah, what did I brought upon myself!"

Things were a bit stilted after that but KyunSang, with his uncanny ability to cheer up the mood, made the atmosphere light again.

In between, Zhan's phone rang once more but it went unanswered this time. Zhan might be gullible at times but he was not stupid.

Once the date was over and they were outside saying goodbyes, KyunSang said, "You know, if there is a chance for you two to mend things over, I hope you do it. Not because I'm a saint or anything but because of that little guy, Xing. If it were my niece, I would have wanted her to have both of her parents with her together. Every kid should have that. So, I hope things work out between you two."

Zhan stared at him, the words touching his heart, warming it up, saddening it mellow. "Yes, true. Every kid deserves that. But most of the time it's the kids that pay for their parents' mistakes. Xing is no exception." He did not tell him what those mistakes were. KyunSang did not ask either.

"Mistakes are a part of life. Inevitable in the process of learning. But what we should do is to learn from those mistakes as never to repeat them."

When the cab KyunSng had called sped away taking the man, Zhan stared at its disappearing back for a long time. No, he did not have any romantic feeling towards the man, nor any attraction or inclination. There was only one person that resided in his heart, refusing to leave it. But the thought of having KyunSang as a friend made Zhan happy.

The man was right. Not two people sharing a good time needed to be labelled as romantic. In the same way two physically close people could be light-years apart.

[][][][]

Don't hesitate to share your thoughts if you want to.💜